Author Topic: FIRE and hedonistic adaptation  (Read 1396 times)

rob in cal

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FIRE and hedonistic adaptation
« on: November 25, 2017, 01:15:05 PM »
  One thing I wonder about is the danger of hedonistic adaption in FIRE.  Will people no longer appreciate FIRE once they get used to it after a while, and its no longer this special freedom, special new lifestyle?  Perhaps it has to do with the type of person.  Someone who is hard to please and has a tough time finding joy during their working life, will probably not really like FIRE that much either?
   As time goes on I'd like to hear from people who have been fired for several years and hear about their feelings.  Five, seven, ten years into FIRE, do they still treasure their freedom, do they still feel they made the right decision, is FIRE still this awesome way to live?  Is FIRE still as special ten years into it as it was the first year?

ShortInSeattle

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Re: FIRE and hedonistic adaptation
« Reply #1 on: November 25, 2017, 03:32:16 PM »
Short answer:
I wouldn't worry about it.

Longer answer:
Going to work every day is like carrying a heavy bag of rocks up a hill. When you aren't required to do it any longer, there will be a period where you're like "Wow. I don't miss carrying those rocks. This is awesome!" After a while, you no longer concern yourself with the old rock-carrying days, because you are happily engaged in other pursuits.

In the context of FIRE, getting used to being happy isn't a bad thing.

spartana

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Re: FIRE and hedonistic adaptation
« Reply #2 on: November 26, 2017, 09:19:44 AM »
No worries Rob. I'm 10 plus years ER and still get giddy and thankful about it every single day. I personally think it gets better with time.
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Mr. Green

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Re: FIRE and hedonistic adaptation
« Reply #3 on: November 26, 2017, 09:49:26 AM »
You end up being constantly reminded how exceptional your life is by the world around you. I just took a part time job at Publix because I wanted to get out of the house a bit and I've been fascinated by why a grocery store is one of the top employers to work for in the country. Everyone else is concerned with the typical items like pay. I could care less about the money. I think the hours for my position will preclude the job from fitting into our lifestyle but that's my top concern. I'm also currently fascinated by all the processes and things that go into a grocery store because I love learning and I know nothing about it. So I'm just happy to be doing what I'm doing while others have other matters to concern themselves with.

As long as you're around people you'll have reminders. It will become harder and harder to relate to them or understand why people concern themselves with certain things but that's okay. We all have different perspectives.
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Holyoak

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Re: FIRE and hedonistic adaptation
« Reply #4 on: November 26, 2017, 11:09:26 AM »
Great question Rob. 

I treasure my freedom even more, as my 5th year of ER creeps up, along with my age.  I find having even one scheduled commitment, seems to be too much!  I know, weird to many, but I think many can relate.  I love the freedom to do literally about whatever I want to do, whenever, and how much less stress this allows for, with an appreciative euphoric joy.  Being much older than many on this forum, really hits home of just how fast life goes by, and NOTHING is more important than freedom, especially freedom and good health.  I feel such pitty for those who think there is but a single path to living life, allowing a seemingly harmful defacto standard to rule their existence, leaving so many rocks left un-turned...  Fear, envy, hate, selfishness, self-centered actions, bereft of kindness, love, and empathy...  And even more disturbing, done so by choice, where the opposite actions take no greater effort.   

I continue to have a very great sense of gratitude, and without being pushy, proselytize my message of ER to all who will listen -- Even volunteering to help a non-profit with their 403b plan, so they have an advocate to help them not be raped by pushy high cost program manager drones with silky ties, over-whitened teeth, and not a lick of shame.  Funny too when you talk with some folks who think more $$$, would set their lives straight...  You know, the kind who say "yeah, but I bet If I gave you $100,000, your tune would change...  All I can do is be silent, and let the Cheshire cat smile on my face, leave them perplexed, smug in their conviction of false beliefs.

Funny too, is just how differently folks take to ER, fears of ER, and the great unknown.  Some change completely, going from a virtual shut-in to world traveler, others the opposite, and folks like me who only have their pre ER convictions and life style magnified.  I have no problem, no actually I revel in the reality of staying in my robe nearly all day, seemingly "doing nothing", aside from going out to exercise, and watch the world pass by...  The freedom to stay, or leave, go to the store down the block, or say "fuck it, let's go to Denver" on the spur of the moment borders on ecstasy.  I mean it, and it must be experienced to be understood, and NO ONE tires of the ecstasy of freedom.  Good luck Rob.

2Birds1Stone

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Re: FIRE and hedonistic adaptation
« Reply #5 on: November 26, 2017, 12:18:27 PM »
You end up being constantly reminded how exceptional your life is by the world around you. I just took a part time job at Publix because I wanted to get out of the house a bit and I've been fascinated by why a grocery store is one of the top employers to work for in the country. Everyone else is concerned with the typical items like pay. I could care less about the money. I think the hours for my position will preclude the job from fitting into our lifestyle but that's my top concern. I'm also currently fascinated by all the processes and things that go into a grocery store because I love learning and I know nothing about it. So I'm just happy to be doing what I'm doing while others have other matters to concern themselves with.

As long as you're around people you'll have reminders. It will become harder and harder to relate to them or understand why people concern themselves with certain things but that's okay. We all have different perspectives.

You're obviously not retired anymore ;)
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jim555

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Re: FIRE and hedonistic adaptation
« Reply #6 on: November 26, 2017, 12:39:26 PM »
I am 3 years in and so far it hasn't gotten old, it is still awesome.

Cassie

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Re: FIRE and hedonistic adaptation
« Reply #7 on: November 26, 2017, 02:02:20 PM »
6 years in April and I like having control over my time. I do work p.t. on my home computer by choice. I was bored when completely retired.  WE are traveling more and I am going to start a new volunteer gig mentoring community college students and the program hopes it will drop the rate at which students quit before graduating. I tried a few other volunteer gigs but tired of them after awhile.

Mr. Green

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Re: FIRE and hedonistic adaptation
« Reply #8 on: November 26, 2017, 02:36:56 PM »
You end up being constantly reminded how exceptional your life is by the world around you. I just took a part time job at Publix because I wanted to get out of the house a bit and I've been fascinated by why a grocery store is one of the top employers to work for in the country. Everyone else is concerned with the typical items like pay. I could care less about the money. I think the hours for my position will preclude the job from fitting into our lifestyle but that's my top concern. I'm also currently fascinated by all the processes and things that go into a grocery store because I love learning and I know nothing about it. So I'm just happy to be doing what I'm doing while others have other matters to concern themselves with.

As long as you're around people you'll have reminders. It will become harder and harder to relate to them or understand why people concern themselves with certain things but that's okay. We all have different perspectives.

You're obviously not retired anymore ;)
True. Though I suppose if I wanted to take up the new hobby of learning how a grocery store operates then I would be safe with the IRP. I probably couldn't find a grocery store that would let me hang around for free though. That's another thing I constantly notice with freedom that keeps me grateful. I do something simply because I want to know the answer to a question, regardless of time or how unconventional it is. It's so nice to be able to do that as opposed to most questions being shelved because people don't have enough time to pursue them.
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lhamo

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Re: FIRE and hedonistic adaptation
« Reply #9 on: November 26, 2017, 03:40:29 PM »
I am about 2.5 years in and still really enjoying being FIREd.  I have two teen kids --one in college (only 16 though --special early entrance program) and one in middle school.   I like being able to drive them to school or pick them up if they need it, make dinner from scratch most nights, discuss their homework without feeling stressed about my own work or needing down time after coming home from the office, etc.   My mom's health is also declining, and I am doing a lot of the support -- it was really great to not have to worry about how the office would react when I needed to spend time with her in the hospital and sorting out extra support after her discharge.   I also have lots of time for running errands (and comparison shopping for groceries, etc) when the stores are less busy, going to the gym during off-peak hours, walking on trails during the week  (much less crowded), shopping for bikes on CL (saved $$$ versus buying new) etc.

Sometimes my Inner Bag Lady starts kicking up a fuss and I look at job listings, but when I think about everything I would lose if I had to go back to working I usually don't follow through.
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infromsea

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Re: FIRE and hedonistic adaptation
« Reply #10 on: November 27, 2017, 03:04:45 AM »
I'm also currently fascinated by all the processes and things that go into a grocery store because I love learning and I know nothing about it. So I'm just happy to be doing what I'm doing while others have other matters to concern themselves with.

As long as you're around people you'll have reminders. It will become harder and harder to relate to them or understand why people concern themselves with certain things but that's okay. We all have different perspectives.

You are "seeing the matrix" when it comes to grocery stores and food, I always enjoy doing that. Like you, I enjoy seeing how things operate behind the scenes, the problem is, the list of things I'd like to do just in order to learn the job/have the experience is pretty damn long, everything from butcher to barber, there are few things that I've seen/paid for/gone to and haven't come away thinking "i'd like to do that for a few months/however long it took to learn it".

Do any other jobs/hobbies/activities "call" to you in the same way?

infromsea

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Re: FIRE and hedonistic adaptation
« Reply #11 on: November 27, 2017, 03:12:33 AM »
I also have lots of time for running errands (and comparison shopping for groceries, etc) when the stores are less busy, going to the gym during off-peak hours

Being an introvert who leans misanthrope, this is (IMHO) one of the GREATEST rewards of FIRE. I'm at the point that I'd do 100% of the grocery and "shopping for the home" on my "own time" rather spend precious weekend time (that the wife and I have together) fighting traffic/crowds/lines.

Great question Rob. 

I treasure my freedom even more, as my 5th year of ER creeps up, along with my age.  I find having even one scheduled commitment, seems to be too much!  I know, weird to many, but I think many can relate.  I love the freedom to do literally about whatever I want to do, whenever, and how much less stress this allows for, with an appreciative euphoric joy.  Being much older than many on this forum, really hits home of just how fast life goes by, and NOTHING is more important than freedom, especially freedom and good health.  I feel such pitty for those who think there is but a single path to living life, allowing a seemingly harmful defacto standard to rule their existence, leaving so many rocks left un-turned...  Fear, envy, hate, selfishness, self-centered actions, bereft of kindness, love, and empathy...  And even more disturbing, done so by choice, where the opposite actions take no greater effort.   

This is powerful stuff, thank you for sharing it. I might print it out and leave it lying around for folks this week. I have family in visiting, they'd all do well to read and heed (they might read, but they'll likely never heed....).

Thanks again for sharing, I'm going to re-read that paragraph if/when I start to doubt my decision to RE.

soccerluvof4

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Re: FIRE and hedonistic adaptation
« Reply #12 on: November 27, 2017, 06:49:56 AM »
2 years 9 months in.  I have 4 kids. One in college and one leaving early January 5th for College so that will leave me with 2. When i do get a little bored and consider doing something for no other reason than the human element I just don't have the time with all the things I have to do. No one would hire me with all the commitments I have with the kids. But I also have TONS of downtime even after working out a couple hours a day. I probably watch way to much TV but I also keep working on things around the house. But the reality is other than the kids schedule EVERYTHING i do i get to decide if and when i want to do because everyday is part of the  weekend for me seemingly. 'That is the part I really like. I wouldnt worry about being hedonistic because things will be changing all the time, it just does.
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Mr. Green

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Re: FIRE and hedonistic adaptation
« Reply #13 on: November 27, 2017, 05:10:15 PM »
I'm also currently fascinated by all the processes and things that go into a grocery store because I love learning and I know nothing about it. So I'm just happy to be doing what I'm doing while others have other matters to concern themselves with.

As long as you're around people you'll have reminders. It will become harder and harder to relate to them or understand why people concern themselves with certain things but that's okay. We all have different perspectives.

You are "seeing the matrix" when it comes to grocery stores and food, I always enjoy doing that. Like you, I enjoy seeing how things operate behind the scenes, the problem is, the list of things I'd like to do just in order to learn the job/have the experience is pretty damn long, everything from butcher to barber, there are few things that I've seen/paid for/gone to and haven't come away thinking "i'd like to do that for a few months/however long it took to learn it".

Do any other jobs/hobbies/activities "call" to you in the same way?
Land development is a huge interest of mine. The process of subdividing, surveying, designing a community, how to install water/sewer and stormwater management in a manner that works with the changing elevation profile of a project. I want to learn it all. Thankfully I've been lucky enough to be involved in a deal that's allowed me a peak behind the curtain. I've been to town meetings read annexation documents, researched deeds, looked over plats. I'm considering completing an undergraduate degree in Geomatics just because every single class sounds like something I'd take on interest alone.

Real estate law is also fascinating to me. Understanding easements, why rules are the way they are, etc. The intricacies of law in general fascinate me and I've thought about taking some law classes as well.

I'm becoming more interested in understanding the musculoskeletal system in the human body as I get older and develop aches and pains I'm not thrilled about. I'm also interested in learning more about human metabolism since what we believe about caloric intake is so jaded by scientific studies that weren't really seeking unbiased results. I experiment via my own body and how I respond to different things during runs or other metabolic conditioning.

I would love to see an Amazon distribution center in operation but I don't think there are any near me. I question if general help would even get a good picture of the inner working since so much of it is in technology. The software engineers might have the better view there.
« Last Edit: November 27, 2017, 05:14:12 PM by Mr. Green »
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Rollin

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Re: FIRE and hedonistic adaptation
« Reply #14 on: November 27, 2017, 05:56:52 PM »
Great question Rob. 

I treasure my freedom even more, as my 5th year of ER creeps up, along with my age.  I find having even one scheduled commitment, seems to be too much! I know, weird to many, but I think many can relate.  I love the freedom to do literally about whatever I want to do, whenever, and how much less stress this allows for, with an appreciative euphoric joy.  Being much older than many on this forum, really hits home of just how fast life goes by, and NOTHING is more important than freedom, especially freedom and good health.  I feel such pitty for those who think there is but a single path to living life, allowing a seemingly harmful defacto standard to rule their existence, leaving so many rocks left un-turned...  Fear, envy, hate, selfishness, self-centered actions, bereft of kindness, love, and empathy...  And even more disturbing, done so by choice, where the opposite actions take no greater effort.   

I continue to have a very great sense of gratitude, and without being pushy, proselytize my message of ER to all who will listen -- Even volunteering to help a non-profit with their 403b plan, so they have an advocate to help them not be raped by pushy high cost program manager drones with silky ties, over-whitened teeth, and not a lick of shame.  Funny too when you talk with some folks who think more $$$, would set their lives straight...  You know, the kind who say "yeah, but I bet If I gave you $100,000, your tune would change...  All I can do is be silent, and let the Cheshire cat smile on my face, leave them perplexed, smug in their conviction of false beliefs.

Funny too, is just how differently folks take to ER, fears of ER, and the great unknown.  Some change completely, going from a virtual shut-in to world traveler, others the opposite, and folks like me who only have their pre ER convictions and life style magnified.  I have no problem, no actually I revel in the reality of staying in my robe nearly all day, seemingly "doing nothing", aside from going out to exercise, and watch the world pass by...  The freedom to stay, or leave, go to the store down the block, or say "fuck it, let's go to Denver" on the spur of the moment borders on ecstasy.  I mean it, and it must be experienced to be understood, and NO ONE tires of the ecstasy of freedom.  Good luck Rob.

I agree with you. Especially on the commitments. I used to have 5 to 10 a day and now when I get one I don't like it.

So on liking/not tiring of RE - I drove across the state yesterday to drop kid back at college (found out last minute it was up to me - no biggy, my schedule is flexible). Decided to stay over there for the night (camped in the van), found a cool local brew pub and met some really nice people and shared some really good beer, went to the beach to have coffee and breakfast (brought/made my own) and watch the sun come up in a beachside park, rode a beautiful 25 miles (bike) in the morning through some low traffic areas (first started riding that loop in 1976), stopped at a great little Mexican food restaurant on the way home, and then took a beautiful nap out back on the porch once I got home. Oh, and I didn't have to go to work today - Monday - or all that would have been just a dream because I would have had to go across the state Sunday and turn right around and come back! Hmmmm....I don't think I'll ever tire of the flexibility and adventuring!
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