Author Topic: Dreading post-FIRE boredom  (Read 6529 times)

RedmondStash

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Dreading post-FIRE boredom
« on: August 30, 2017, 03:24:37 PM »
Has anyone dealt successfully with post-FIRE boredom?

I am not FIREd yet; I just returned to work after a 3-month leave of absence where I was bored AF. I spent my time watching TV, perusing Facebook, and playing video games. The caveat is that I've got some health issues that severely limit my energy, so as appealing as travel and house projects seem, I generally can't handle them. And I was sicker than usual during my leave, which is part of why I took the leave, to try to recuperate. (Didn't really work, but that's a separate issue.)

I thought FIRE would mean time to learn, read, enjoy, do projects, and generally devour the world. But in reality it meant a lot of boredom during my 3-month mini-FIRE because I didn't have the brainpower or physical stamina to take on much. So as much as I want to FIRE and spend time with spouse, who is already retired, I worry that I will not enjoy it.

Anyone else balancing health/fatigue issues against FIRE? Any advice?

mcampbell

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Re: Dreading post-FIRE boredom
« Reply #1 on: August 30, 2017, 03:32:43 PM »
Dealing with same thing now, I'm 4 months into a year sabbatical. I found it was really easy to get lazy and not do anything. So what I've been doing is slowly building up activities again, instead of going out for coffee I spend time doing pour overs and mastering this skill. I've been increasing my cooking skills, with food that honesty tastes better then eating out at times. I've enrolled with a few classes online, they were super cheap, udemy had a sale $10 for a a class that will take me a few weeks to complete. I'm a software developer so I have started to come up with coding projects. What were are your hobbies ? You say you don't have much physical energy that may be the larger problem then FIRE. Perhaps as your health comes back you'll find you enjoy cycling or other outdoor activities


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Gus_Smedstad

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Re: Dreading post-FIRE boredom
« Reply #2 on: August 30, 2017, 03:34:52 PM »
I don't have fatigue issues, so I'm not exactly in the same boat.

I'm really into computer games - strategy games in particular - so usually that keeps me busy. Sometimes, though, I don't feel like playing any of them, despite having a substantial backlog. I've wondered, on occasion, if I'm suffering from periodic bouts of depression, since not being able to enjoy things seems like the clinical definition of depression.

Usually, if I don't feel like engaging my brain with games, I read. Sometimes I waste time on message boards. I don't do Facebook because I find that too inane, and TV is of limited interest to me.

I travel internationally every 2 years, roughly, but because it's expensive and energy-consuming, travel is a very sporadic break from routine, not a regular activity to stave off boredom. I've done hobbies, but generally they've been almost as sporadic as the travel.

I don't have much advice beyond the obvious. You need to get into something you enjoy that you can do every day. Travel isn't every day. House projects generally aren't, either. What works for you is very individual, and not something someone else can suggest, most of the time. There are people who are into gardening, for example, but I'd hate that personally.

RedmondStash

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Re: Dreading post-FIRE boredom
« Reply #3 on: August 30, 2017, 04:18:28 PM »
What were are your hobbies ? You say you don't have much physical energy that may be the larger problem then FIRE. Perhaps as your health comes back you'll find you enjoy cycling or other outdoor activities

I think you're right that the fatigue is the bigger problem. I can think of a million things I'd do if I had more energy, but it's harder to create an approach that accounts for where I am now.

I enjoy writing fiction (nicely sedentary), and a few years back, I got really into 3D modeling and animation, and also making video games (also sedentary). But right now, I don't have the brainpower for that level of focus.

Unfortunately, there's no indication that my health will come back. The issues seem to be permanent, with minor fluctuations up and down. Which is fine, actually -- I've dealt with this stuff for more than a decade -- but it seems to require a different strategy for a happy FIRE, and I haven't got that figured out yet.

And who knows? Maybe the next supplement I try will turn things around. Hope springs eternal.

Thanks for the thoughts.

geekette

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Re: Dreading post-FIRE boredom
« Reply #4 on: August 30, 2017, 04:49:48 PM »
I suspect you're male and might balk, but you might enjoy a craft that is repetitive, like knitting or crocheting.  It's like meditation with an end product.  Some studies have shown it helps with pain management, staves off cognitive decline, blah, blah, blah.

RedmondStash

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Re: Dreading post-FIRE boredom
« Reply #5 on: August 31, 2017, 09:53:43 AM »
I suspect you're male and might balk, but you might enjoy a craft that is repetitive, like knitting or crocheting.  It's like meditation with an end product.  Some studies have shown it helps with pain management, staves off cognitive decline, blah, blah, blah.

Thanks, Geekette. I appreciate the suggestion.

edmundblackadder

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Re: Dreading post-FIRE boredom
« Reply #6 on: August 31, 2017, 10:15:04 AM »
Volunteer for a crisis chat hotline? You can do it remotely, it's a pretty flexible time commitment, and it's really meaningful. https://www.crisistextline.org/volunteer/
https://www.imalive.org/volunteer-how-to.php

infromsea

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Re: Dreading post-FIRE boredom
« Reply #7 on: August 31, 2017, 10:16:46 AM »
Any groups in your area that you can join? Any classes you can teach at the community college?

I joined the VFW, the FLA, the Naval Reserve Association and I'm trying to stay active in all, that keeps my calendar full, it's a little much at times, and I think that helps. They all need volunteers all the time, it's a big part of being active in the org, it keeps me engaged and prevents getting too much time alone at home.

Community colleges will let you teach as long as you have the cert/level you want to teach (don't need a masters if you have a networking cert, you can teach that course...).

The trading section of this board has a post about teaching Chinese students English part time...

Lots of pots, lots of time. Learn to play guitar/an instrument, do something with your hands, something not involving a keyboard. Cook fresh meals each day, keep the house clean, do the grocery shopping, go to starbucks with the paper and a book, take two hours to drink your coffee, balance the HELL out of your checkbook and check your portfolio allocation..... on and on and on. I have a list of things I want to get to, I don't think there's enough time in my life to do it all. All that said, I can still get in a rut and not have much desire to do anything (usually on rainy days) but exercise and good diet seems to take care of that for me.

Lastly, I stick to a routine, it's not set it stone but I still get up at 5:30 and go to bed at 10:00, pretty much like clockwork. Out of bed, lunches made for family, selected readings from several books (some financial, some spiritiual, some just for fun) for about 30 minutes, exercise, coffee.... you could say it's boring because it follows a rhythm but it's not too often that I get the funk, too busy....

Good luck!

soccerluvof4

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Re: Dreading post-FIRE boredom
« Reply #8 on: August 31, 2017, 10:44:33 AM »
I'm just completed 2 years and 4 months. The hardest was in the beginning I was alot like you. I have needed double knee replacements for years and I was watching more tv and doing pretty much nothing for the first 4-6 months. I decided to start walking as soon as I got up as my knees can take that. It will be 2 years coming up and I am walking 40-60 miles a week or usually 90 minutes minimum but average a little over 2 hours. Only one time since i started walking less days off have I started, got to the end of the driveway and said screw it and came back and that was because my feet were sore. The key for me is I sleep less and less and take more short naps. So i get up average 4am, drink my coffee and take care of business #2 and out the door. I then go for my walk and its dark most of the time so its so quiet, mind cleansing and thought provoking at the same time. I usually repeat an affirmation of several i have come up with like " worry less, live more have peace of mind". I can think several things at once so seems to help me. So that makes me feel accomplished. Then after the first year as a side note my wife took a job for Health Insurance. Its an easy peasy job she loves and the benefits are out of the world. The insurance is Humana so lo and behold I get paid basically for walking. We have wonderful family coverage heallth, Dental and less than 300$ a month with me walking. I come back fresh and I have learned to cook so everyday I shop which has cut our grocery bills in less than half if not a third for a family of 6. 5 now really as one just went of to college. I go all out and that usually takes me 2 hours. During that time I usually watch the home improvement shows or sqwak box or? and really just listen BUT the diy shows have gotten me motivated to where I have remodeled living and dining room, master bedroom, kids bedroom and loft, and our fireplace/den room and believe me at a snails pace!!!.  By noon I am up for 8 hours so usually have lunch and then a siesta. I do this watching tv and usually catch a half hour to an hour nap. Then I putz around or plan for the next day or do nothing till my DW gets home and then chase the kids around at night. I always feel tired BUT at least now I feel I am getting stuff done and my DW seems to be very happy with what I am contributing but who really knows lol.  Anyhow this has been a process one day one week one month at a time. I am a lazy person who gets bursts of enthusiasm and that is totally except able by me!
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RedmondStash

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Re: Dreading post-FIRE boredom
« Reply #9 on: August 31, 2017, 04:52:33 PM »
Thanks, folks. Some good ideas here. Thanks also for sharing your experiences.

I may look into volunteering. I've fostered dogs and cats in the past and loved it, but can't really do that now unless my health improves. There must be some low-stress, sedentary volunteer work I can do.

It also may just take some time for me to adjust to FIRE when I'm there. Three months probably wasn't long enough to get a real sense of it.

daveydinner

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Re: Dreading post-FIRE boredom
« Reply #10 on: August 31, 2017, 05:32:00 PM »
I had to take a year off for an injury. I got bored and drank a lot, wasn't exercising  every day like i thought i would. Then I picked up my old guitar. I started learning a new "really hard" song every day (i made a pledge to myself that i'd do that). I'd pick something impossible, like Django gypsy jazz songs, then buy the transcription and hunker down till i learned it. I went from making no progress between the ages of 15-25 to becoming really friggin good at guitar in that year, gigging, playing paid gigs, and having people want me to teach them.

You've got to find your new thing and dedicate yourself to it, be it guitar, knitting, cooking, swimming, building stuff, whatever. Take the guts you have and give it your all!


Mmm_Donuts

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Re: Dreading post-FIRE boredom
« Reply #11 on: August 31, 2017, 06:25:22 PM »
I don't want to offer Internet diagnoses, but just in case there's a chance that this may be helpful: I've found in the case of injuries and low energy that it helps to push my limits a little bit. If I'm not feeling energetic, it's counterintuitive but sometimes going outside and being more active helps my energy level. I'm a runner, and sometimes on low energy days when I don't feel like going out, doing a run will actually boost my energy and make me feel better. If running is too much, how about going for a brisk walk? Spending energy brings more energy. Even in the case of injury (depending how severe,) testing the limits sometimes improves the situation. A sedentary lifestyle often brings more trouble: more lethargy, less energy, more aches and pains. It can be a downward spiral (in my experience).

On the topic of retirement boredom: I have experienced this as well. It's the main reason I'm working again. But I've found a job that I really enjoy, so it's worth it. I envision a day when I donate 100% of my paycheque to charity and work just for the sake of using my skills, and to get out of the house and socialize.

infromsea

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Re: Dreading post-FIRE boredom
« Reply #12 on: August 31, 2017, 07:34:48 PM »
Donuts really hit the nail on the head, laws of inertia and all that.

If you can't get the walks in, can you work on your diet to ensure you are as energetic as possible?

Lot's of good suggestions from the others as well, aint this forum great?

RedmondStash

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Re: Dreading post-FIRE boredom
« Reply #13 on: September 01, 2017, 09:23:37 AM »
Lot's of good suggestions from the others as well, aint this forum great?

It is indeed. :)

Thanks again, all.

infromsea

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Re: Dreading post-FIRE boredom
« Reply #14 on: September 01, 2017, 01:49:16 PM »
I was thinking more about your post and I wanted to add:

1. If you are dreading the idea of being fire (staying at home most of the time) then don't do it... I guess what I'm saying is, why do you plan to fire anyway? Are you feeling like you HAVE To fire or your "missing out"? Maybe a full time home gig isn't your thing, maybe a "fire lite" would be better, maybe going part-time and then easing into full time retirement, there are many options, it's not a binary decision.

2. Give a listen to radical personal finance 416, it has some good points and, at the end, Joshua makes a point he's made before: If you are retiring TOO something you are likely to have a better transition than simply retiring to get out of a job you hate, good advice and a neat story from the interviewee, someone living an active retirement.

Have a good weekend!

RedmondStash

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Re: Dreading post-FIRE boredom
« Reply #15 on: September 01, 2017, 07:16:15 PM »
I was thinking more about your post and I wanted to add:

1. If you are dreading the idea of being fire (staying at home most of the time) then don't do it... I guess what I'm saying is, why do you plan to fire anyway? Are you feeling like you HAVE To fire or your "missing out"? Maybe a full time home gig isn't your thing, maybe a "fire lite" would be better, maybe going part-time and then easing into full time retirement, there are many options, it's not a binary decision.

Reasonable question. It's partly because of the aforementioned health issues; I'm no longer sure I can hold down this job. And partly to spend time with lovely spouse, who is already retired. And it's also partly because as much as I like my job, when I'm there, I get restless and want to come home and play with spouse. I guess there's no pleasing me. :)

I've definitely considered looking for part-time work, paid or volunteer, to give me some purpose when I'm no longer at my current job.

2. Give a listen to radical personal finance 416, it has some good points and, at the end, Joshua makes a point he's made before: If you are retiring TOO something you are likely to have a better transition than simply retiring to get out of a job you hate, good advice and a neat story from the interviewee, someone living an active retirement.

Have a good weekend!

Thanks, I'll check it out.

You have a good weekend too!

BigMoneyJim

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Re: Dreading post-FIRE boredom
« Reply #16 on: September 02, 2017, 12:49:00 AM »
I guess I'm confused that there is work you can do, but there is no non-work activity you can find with the same level of energy.

Or you're comparing your time off due to reduced ability to working with your typical ability which isn't fair. I get bored when I'm e.g. sick and am restricted from many activities. But that's not what FIRE will be for me. (I hope!)

But get creative. Define for yourself what you want and figure out how to do it. Don't let others' abilities and limits influence your choices.

I know I won't be bored because on two different occasions I had about a year off work, and I get so busy I don't know how people have time for work.

mara

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Re: Dreading post-FIRE boredom
« Reply #17 on: September 04, 2017, 07:29:44 PM »
Has anyone dealt successfully with post-FIRE boredom?

I am not FIREd yet; I just returned to work after a 3-month leave of absence where I was bored AF. I spent my time watching TV, perusing Facebook, and playing video games. The caveat is that I've got some health issues that severely limit my energy, so as appealing as travel and house projects seem, I generally can't handle them. And I was sicker than usual during my leave, which is part of why I took the leave, to try to recuperate. (Didn't really work, but that's a separate issue.)

I thought FIRE would mean time to learn, read, enjoy, do projects, and generally devour the world. But in reality it meant a lot of boredom during my 3-month mini-FIRE because I didn't have the brainpower or physical stamina to take on much. So as much as I want to FIRE and spend time with spouse, who is already retired, I worry that I will not enjoy it.

Anyone else balancing health/fatigue issues against FIRE? Any advice?

Fatigue is my companion and enemy these days. I am recovering from an accident about 10 months ago, with maybe another year to go, if I do recover completely. This morning, I did a few chores, went for a 20 minute walk, and did a little puttering. At that point, I was so exhausted, I could hardly do anything for the rest of the day. I lay in a recliner for hours and kept dozing off. I wanted to do some artwork today, but was too tired. Three days ago, we drove to a beach about 1.5 hours away, hung out at the beach for about three hours, and stopped for dinner on the way home. This was a big outing for me; I think I haven't quite recovered from it yet. My joints get achey if I sit around, so that makes it harder.

Sorry you're dealing with this stuff, too. Some things that are helpfull to me:

Pacing myself better and taking more frequent rest breaks usually helps.

Reducing food intake to match my activity level. Overeating makes everything feel worse.

Stoic philosophy, which I learned about on this site, has a lot to say about acceptance of whatever comes our way in life. I've been reading Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius, and A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy, by William B. Irvine. I find it soothing to read the above before I go to sleep at night, to put me in a more patient frame of mind and maybe chase away bad dreams.

SunnyMoney

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Re: Dreading post-FIRE boredom
« Reply #18 on: September 04, 2017, 09:31:53 PM »
You are wise to be concerned with post-FIRE boredom.  It is something I struggle with and so far have not found a good solution.  I have been retired for about 5 years now while my DH still works (he wants to work - financially he does not have to).  That gives me a lot of alone time to find something to do with and so far the most successful activities I have found at alleviating boredom are education and volunteering.  However, education can feel pointless at times because I don't have an end goal in mind.  It is not like I am getting skills so I can go apply for a job (like 99% of the other students in the class).  Volunteering can be good but finding a really meaningful and impactful volunteer role is not easy.  Many organizations that have a well organized volunteer program tend to need volunteers to essentially do labor (e.g. picking up trash in city parks, removing invasive vegetation from hiking trails, chopping vegetables at the soup kitchen, stuffing envelopes for a fundraiser, or cleaning poop out of kennels and doing laundry at the animal shelter).  If you can get a sense of purpose from doing those tasks then I envy you!  For me it just seems like, <shrug>, labor.  Does it benefit the nonprofit, sure, but I never feel like *I* was needed to do those tasks.  None of my specialized skills that I spent decades learning and perfecting in my career were used.  What I am realizing is you need to be pretty proactive about convincing a nonprofit that you have more to bring to their organization and it takes time to build the trust they need to give you longer term or bigger projects.

Doing other activities like exercising, cooking/baking, household projects, hobbies, reading... all that stuff is fine but after a few years those things feel more and more that it is just self-indulgent.  I'm sorry my post isn't more helpful but I thought you may find it interesting to read the experiences of someone who has been ERd for a few years.  I look forward to reading what other people have posted on this thread.

spartana

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Re: Dreading post-FIRE boredom
« Reply #19 on: September 04, 2017, 11:41:12 PM »
I've been ER for over a decade now and have never felt bored. I feel less bored than I did when working (and I liked my job and it wasn't boring but same old same old gets old anywhere - on the job or in ER).  However, unlike with a job, I can change things when ever and however I want. I can pick and chose what I want to do in any given moment and for me that goes a long way to a deep level of contentment in my life. I also have many many thing I like to do and so feel a pretty strong desire to get out there and do them ASAP. Even more than a decade in I feel I need another life time (or more) in retirement. So I think that's the key - having things you really want to do once ER rather than just retiring because you can. In the OPs case it might be harder because of an illness but maybe there are still many things you yearn to do besides your job that you can.

I know I'm not being very helpful and I wish I had better suggestions, especially for the OPs situation, but I think its just something each person deals with individually. I just wanted to say as a counterpoint that for many  of us FIRE boredom isn't an issue and may not be one for others once ERd either.
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mara

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Re: Dreading post-FIRE boredom
« Reply #20 on: September 05, 2017, 04:23:37 AM »
@SL4: I'm going to try walking every day, to see if I can push myself the right amount. Thanks for the tip!

@Spartana: You are my hero... I want to be strong and capable like you. Your posts always inspire me.

RedmondStash

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Re: Dreading post-FIRE boredom
« Reply #21 on: September 05, 2017, 09:30:10 AM »
I've been ER for over a decade now and have never felt bored. I feel less bored than I did when working (and I liked my job and it wasn't boring but same old same old gets old anywhere - on the job or in ER).  However, unlike with a job, I can change things when ever and however I want. I can pick and chose what I want to do in any given moment and for me that goes a long way to a deep level of contentment in my life. I also have many many thing I like to do and so feel a pretty strong desire to get out there and do them ASAP. Even more than a decade in I feel I need another life time (or more) in retirement. So I think that's the key - having things you really want to do once ER rather than just retiring because you can. In the OPs case it might be harder because of an illness but maybe there are still many things you yearn to do besides your job that you can.

I know I'm not being very helpful and I wish I had better suggestions, especially for the OPs situation, but I think its just something each person deals with individually. I just wanted to say as a counterpoint that for many  of us FIRE boredom isn't an issue and may not be one for others once ERd either.

Actually, this is helpful, Spartana. It is good to hear about people's positive FIRE experiences and approaches.

I appreciate everyone's responses; they are all food for thought. Thanks.

EscapeVelocity2020

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Re: Dreading post-FIRE boredom
« Reply #22 on: September 05, 2017, 10:14:47 AM »
My DW was ER'd for about a decade after the second child came along.  At the end of her maternity leave in 2005, she couldn't bear the thought of putting both kids in daycare and I don't blame her!  With the first child, we were both working with her pulling the night shift so that a parent was always available.  She was exhuasted and our life was a mess.  ER was exactly what we needed, but didn't know if we could swing it financially...

Well, finances worked out fine, but the kids got older and she felt a little bored a few years ago, so she went back to work full time at their school for a couple years.  It was a really good experience, to see the inner workings of the district and have influence (as opposed to the walled-off parent side).  As of this summer she is back to ER, refreshed and appreciating it even more! 

So, if you can swing it financially, you don't have to worry about the decision being a one-way street.  Try out ER and hopefully you will find that it refreshes you too!
« Last Edit: September 05, 2017, 10:19:21 AM by EscapeVelocity2020 »
Transitioning to FIRE'd albeit somewhat cautiously...

jim555

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Re: Dreading post-FIRE boredom
« Reply #23 on: September 05, 2017, 10:56:56 AM »
The winter is tough for me regarding boredom, all other times are not bad.  When it is too cold to go out or ice and snow makes it tough to walk I get stir crazy.  Seriously looking at warm travel options in the future.

spartana

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Re: Dreading post-FIRE boredom
« Reply #24 on: September 05, 2017, 01:49:54 PM »
@SL4: I'm going to try walking every day, to see if I can push myself the right amount. Thanks for the tip!

@Spartana: You are my hero... I want to be strong and capable like you. Your posts always inspire me.
Thanks Mara! While I rarely get bored or go stir crazy I do sometimes get very very whiney. My retirement ended up being a lot different then I had planned for - not better or worse but just different - due to things beyond my control. So I sometimes I get in a funk, feel a bit down, throw myself a pity party/tantrum and once that's past I go on to having a more optimistic outlook about everything and being FIREd helps in a huge way.

 I think that's a good way to deal with potential FIRE boredom too. Recognize it, whine about it to yourself, recognize it is only a temporary feeling you can do something about and then let it go and move on. Another thing I do is to happily embrace and enjoy the boring times. Recently on a road trip my dog was injured and had to be kept fairly confined - which meant I'm stuck in a motel room watching TV all day other than occasional pee walks for the dog. I watched crappy TV, ate crappy food, and pretty much just zoned out for a few days. But instead of being boring it was great. I thoroughly enjoyed being a lazy slug because I knew that it was just temporary and I could change it if needed. That's the great thing about ER. Whatever state of mind you find yourself in is usually temporary and usually can be changed so enjoy it as best you can.
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infromsea

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Re: Dreading post-FIRE boredom
« Reply #25 on: September 05, 2017, 01:58:39 PM »
The winter is tough for me regarding boredom, all other times are not bad.  When it is too cold to go out or ice and snow makes it tough to walk I get stir crazy.  Seriously looking at warm travel options in the future.

I 'm similar. Any other time I can work outside all day long, cleaning the yard, building stuff, you name it. Come winter, I get a little stir-crazy. So, I plan to work a little during the winters, something with some activity and just a little bit of face-to-face interaction. That's the plan anyway, we'll see how it works out.

mara

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Re: Dreading post-FIRE boredom
« Reply #26 on: September 06, 2017, 06:22:17 PM »
That's the great thing about ER. Whatever state of mind you find yourself in is usually temporary and usually can be changed so enjoy it as best you can.

Yes! Feeling less tired today, so the world and retirement seem brighter. I am surrounded by fun things to do.

lhamo

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Re: Dreading post-FIRE boredom
« Reply #27 on: September 06, 2017, 07:05:28 PM »
I was pretty career-focused for a long time (worked in non-profits, and believed in the missions of my organizations), so I was actually kind of surprised how relatively easy it was to adapt to a world without paid employment.   Over two years in, I have noticed that the main things that affect my mood/mental state are:

1)  Physical health -- if I am not getting the right amount of exercise, sleep or healthy food, my mood quickly suffers and

2)  Social health -- for me, 2-3 significant social interactions per week with non-immediate family members seems to be the sweet spot.   I am an introvert, so more than that starts to feel stressful/too busy.  But less than that leaves me feeling isolated and lonely.

It has actually been pretty good to figure these things out, because all of them are relatively easy to tweak as long as I don't let myself start sliding too far into depression.   That is somewhere I don't want to end up again, so I have pretty good incentive.
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Exflyboy

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Re: Dreading post-FIRE boredom
« Reply #28 on: September 07, 2017, 11:41:17 AM »
Good point Lhamo.. I too have been sliding a little bit due to lack of social connection (which engineers are not supposed to need).

Part of this is due to the fact HRH is gone for two weeks and I'm looking at 4 walls.. Hmm I need some RE'd folks in Corvallis to hang with a couple of times per week.


lhamo

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Re: Dreading post-FIRE boredom
« Reply #29 on: September 07, 2017, 02:03:05 PM »
Or you could make another road trip -- air is better up north....
Wherever you go, there you are

soccerluvof4

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Re: Dreading post-FIRE boredom
« Reply #30 on: September 09, 2017, 09:05:38 AM »
@SL4: I'm going to try walking every day, to see if I can push myself the right amount. Thanks for the tip!

@Spartana: You are my hero... I want to be strong and capable like you. Your posts always inspire me.
Thanks Mara! While I rarely get bored or go stir crazy I do sometimes get very very whiney. My retirement ended up being a lot different then I had planned for - not better or worse but just different - due to things beyond my control. So I sometimes I get in a funk, feel a bit down, throw myself a pity party/tantrum and once that's past I go on to having a more optimistic outlook about everything and being FIREd helps in a huge way.

 I think that's a good way to deal with potential FIRE boredom too. Recognize it, whine about it to yourself, recognize it is only a temporary feeling you can do something about and then let it go and move on. Another thing I do is to happily embrace and enjoy the boring times. Recently on a road trip my dog was injured and had to be kept fairly confined - which meant I'm stuck in a motel room watching TV all day other than occasional pee walks for the dog. I watched crappy TV, ate crappy food, and pretty much just zoned out for a few days. But instead of being boring it was great. I thoroughly enjoyed being a lazy slug because I knew that it was just temporary and I could change it if needed. That's the great thing about ER. Whatever state of mind you find yourself in is usually temporary and usually can be changed so enjoy it as best you can.




Just be patient and allow yourself to build some endurance. I started out slow and got a step counter that challenged me. For the last year now I average 50-60 miles a week but it took me awhile to get there. I found to that as soon as I get up was key even though most times its dark. The beginning of the walk your too tired to think about it, then you feel good and when you start getting tired your done! lol. One step at a time. And truly find some affirmations you can say over and over again that will help you through your  personal challenges. This is your time. Time for you! Good luck. Its made a HUGE difference in my life.
" In life you don't get what you deserve you get what you negotiate"

meteor

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Re: Dreading post-FIRE boredom
« Reply #31 on: September 27, 2017, 05:08:51 PM »
If health is your obstacle to enjoying new activities, I'd start looking at alternative approaches to dealing with your health issues.  This is the perfect time to invest in your body and mind.

RedmondStash

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Re: Dreading post-FIRE boredom
« Reply #32 on: September 27, 2017, 06:03:22 PM »
If health is your obstacle to enjoying new activities, I'd start looking at alternative approaches to dealing with your health issues.  This is the perfect time to invest in your body and mind.

It's a good thought, but I've been doing that for the past decade, without much success. Some health issues are, unfortunately, intractable. Luckily, that doesn't mean you can't live a good life; it just means you have to take those issues into consideration when you're planning things like retirement.

Slinky

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Re: Dreading post-FIRE boredom
« Reply #33 on: October 10, 2017, 03:54:21 PM »
If health is your obstacle to enjoying new activities, I'd start looking at alternative approaches to dealing with your health issues.  This is the perfect time to invest in your body and mind.

It's a good thought, but I've been doing that for the past decade, without much success. Some health issues are, unfortunately, intractable. Luckily, that doesn't mean you can't live a good life; it just means you have to take those issues into consideration when you're planning things like retirement.


I'm not FIRE, but fatigue makes things hard. Most people here don't get the way you can have 20 things you'd love to do, but not having the energy to do any of them. Sure, there are other things you still can do, but you're just so sick of doing those same old things especially when there are so many other fun things to do that you just can't manage.

This probably isn't anything new for you, but the best coping methods I have so far into my own journey with fatigue is to work on expanding the variety of activities you enjoy and pace yourself by switching between them. Find more things that you can do and try to expand within those to have more variety. I like video games too. I used to play them monogamously, but now I tend to have several going depending on how much mental stimulation and thinking I feel like handling. I also do a whole variety of fiber arts. Spinning takes a little more physical energy, but can be very relaxing and mindless. Knitting can be anywhere from mindless to heavy thinking if I need to rework a pattern for fit and multiple projects is good here too.

When I have more energy than usual, I try to take advantage and tackle some weaving or sewing or thinking and learning and planning type tasks. It's often the thinking and getting started part that is hardest! Often, I only manage 5-10 minutes at a time, but I've learned that even that little bit will get things done eventually. I try to save the net surfing and tv watching for when I am wiped and need to recover between other more interesting things. I also like to do mindless knitting while watching tv when I can manage it as that's more fun for me. Reading is wonderful as long as my brain is up to it. Sometimes I reread favorites from my childhood when I'm a bit too tired for anything new. Doing a few minutes of something a little harder and then reading a chapter of a book is often a good pace for me to be able to keep picking away at a project. I am not above making a blanket/pillow nest near whatever I want to work on and just doing whatever tiny bits I can manage.

I also make a point of not doing lower energy activities if I have more energy than usual. If I'm having a good day, I always try to go do something more difficult that I've been wanting to do. Sometimes the energy lasts, sometimes it doesn't, but it's lovely to get that fun and variety in when you can. That might be a thinkier project or going for a walk or coffee with a friend or whatever. Just...go do something different when you can.

EricL

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Re: Dreading post-FIRE boredom
« Reply #34 on: October 17, 2017, 02:48:55 PM »
This reminds me of a Zen story.

A Zen student went to his Master and said, "Master, I'm bored."

The Master pondered this, then replied, "Go!  Do the IMPOSSIBLE!"

So the student went away bored.


On a perhaps more helpful note, make a list of things you like to do or would like to do.  Figure out what you enjoy about them.  Then try out some things that look like they might have the same elements.  If after a year into FIRE you can't find anything that stokes your fires, go back to work.  I won't judge.  Being FIRE'd is about doing what YOU want and there's no choice more personal than that.
Gentleman of Leisure

frugledoc

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Re: Dreading post-FIRE boredom
« Reply #35 on: October 18, 2017, 01:39:08 PM »
My DW was ER'd for about a decade after the second child came along.  At the end of her maternity leave in 2005, she couldn't bear the thought of putting both kids in daycare and I don't blame her!  With the first child, we were both working with her pulling the night shift so that a parent was always available.  She was exhuasted and our life was a mess.  ER was exactly what we needed, but didn't know if we could swing it financially...



Being a stay at home parent definitely does not count as , it is hard work, and it pays relatively well (if you take into account savings from childcare etc.)

My wife is SAHM to our two kids (one is 3 months, the other is 3.5 and in nursery 2.5 days a week).  It is relentless, there is zero down time and very little gratitude from the customers lol.

I don't know if your wife is okay with you saying she was ER, but my wife would probably slap me.




EscapeVelocity2020

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Re: Dreading post-FIRE boredom
« Reply #36 on: October 18, 2017, 02:47:18 PM »
My DW was ER'd for about a decade after the second child came along.  At the end of her maternity leave in 2005, she couldn't bear the thought of putting both kids in daycare and I don't blame her!  With the first child, we were both working with her pulling the night shift so that a parent was always available.  She was exhuasted and our life was a mess.  ER was exactly what we needed, but didn't know if we could swing it financially...

Being a stay at home parent definitely does not count as , it is hard work, and it pays relatively well (if you take into account savings from childcare etc.)

My wife is SAHM to our two kids (one is 3 months, the other is 3.5 and in nursery 2.5 days a week).  It is relentless, there is zero down time and very little gratitude from the customers lol.

I don't know if your wife is okay with you saying she was ER, but my wife would probably slap me.

Just using the terminology that many SAHP bloggers use (MrTakoEscapes, RetireBy40) while their spouse works.  I agree that my wife would've slapped me back then.  Now that the kids are 12 and 14, she is a little more relaxed and would only give me a dirty look.
Transitioning to FIRE'd albeit somewhat cautiously...

frugledoc

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Re: Dreading post-FIRE boredom
« Reply #37 on: October 18, 2017, 02:55:11 PM »
My DW was ER'd for about a decade after the second child came along.  At the end of her maternity leave in 2005, she couldn't bear the thought of putting both kids in daycare and I don't blame her!  With the first child, we were both working with her pulling the night shift so that a parent was always available.  She was exhuasted and our life was a mess.  ER was exactly what we needed, but didn't know if we could swing it financially...

Being a stay at home parent definitely does not count as , it is hard work, and it pays relatively well (if you take into account savings from childcare etc.)

My wife is SAHM to our two kids (one is 3 months, the other is 3.5 and in nursery 2.5 days a week).  It is relentless, there is zero down time and very little gratitude from the customers lol.

I don't know if your wife is okay with you saying she was ER, but my wife would probably slap me.

Just using the terminology that many SAHP bloggers use (MrTakoEscapes, RetireBy40) while their spouse works.  I agree that my wife would've slapped me back then.  Now that the kids are 12 and 14, she is a little more relaxed and would only give me a dirty look.

Iím a bit over sensitive at the moment due to new born induced exhaustion lol

jim555

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Re: Dreading post-FIRE boredom
« Reply #38 on: October 19, 2017, 08:28:27 AM »
"Dreading post-FIRE boredom"

How bad can an endless summer vacation be? 

RedmondStash

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Re: Dreading post-FIRE boredom
« Reply #39 on: October 19, 2017, 09:26:38 AM »
"Dreading post-FIRE boredom"

How bad can an endless summer vacation be?

Pretty bad when you feel like crap and don't have work to distract you.

Cassie

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Re: Dreading post-FIRE boredom
« Reply #40 on: October 19, 2017, 03:06:55 PM »
At first I did all the projects that I had wanted to get done. Then we moved and 7 months later I was bored. Right about then a job teaching an online college course fell into my lap which I have been doing for 5 years. I also do some volunteer work, take a walk everyday and see friends, etc. On the weekend my DH and I usually go to an event on Sat.  WE also get together with our kids for dinner at least every 2 weeks.

Exflyboy

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Re: Dreading post-FIRE boredom
« Reply #41 on: October 19, 2017, 04:30:36 PM »
I think we place too much emphasis on RE.. Much better to focus on FI and then you can do ANYTHING you want.

That can be:..

1) continue your job if you love it
2) Do some other job (for less $$)
3) RE


It really dosn't matter

RedmondStash

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Re: Dreading post-FIRE boredom
« Reply #42 on: October 19, 2017, 08:18:50 PM »
I think we place too much emphasis on RE.. Much better to focus on FI and then you can do ANYTHING you want.

That can be:..

1) continue your job if you love it
2) Do some other job (for less $$)
3) RE


It really dosn't matter

Very true. I'm honestly torn. I feel the allure of freedom, but I also enjoy the sense of purpose (and health insurance) my job gives me.

FI is the most important thing.

Dicey

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Re: Dreading post-FIRE boredom
« Reply #43 on: October 22, 2017, 05:38:50 PM »
Hey Redmond,
It just occurred to me that I could get a lot more shit done around here if I had a extra pair of hands. I can help you ease  that nagging fear of boredom...Okay, I'm kidding, but I do so much fun stuff in my community, it's hard to get to all my other less-fun projects and chores. Really.
Dicey
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