Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?

[Metalcat]

I just read this whole thread and have to say to the OP that I feel energized now to face the upcoming 11 months and 26 days!  If you were able to grind through it for 5 years, I can damn sure make it through this next year. 

As discussed several times in this thread, I do have sense of guilt in not being able to really have my head in the game.  I am concerned that this will worsen as I get closer to my retirement date.  I am torn between the urge to just tell my coworkers, or at least my manager that I plan to retire next year just to have them understand the reason for the apathy I feel must show at times.  Working for the government, I feel fairly safe in doing so.  On the other hand, maybe no good would come of it...

Sent from my moto g(7) using Tapatalk

You're absolutely correct - do not under any circumstances reveal your plans to depart!

IDK, my SO works for the government and its very normal for them to be totally up front about when they are retiring, usually they start talking about it for the last few years that they are there.

It's not just government workers either, a lot of professionals I know are very up front about their retirement timelines. I've always been upfront about how many years an employer can feasibly expect from me.

I'm not in the US though, so perhaps there's a regional/cultural aspect at play that I'm not aware of?

[2sk22]

IDK, my SO works for the government and its very normal for them to be totally up front about when they are retiring, usually they start talking about it for the last few years that they are there.

It's not just government workers either, a lot of professionals I know are very up front about their retirement timelines. I've always been upfront about how many years an employer can feasibly expect from me.

I'm not in the US though, so perhaps there's a regional/cultural aspect at play that I'm not aware of?

Here is one way that you could get dinged in the corporate world in the US: If they know you're going to be leaving, the company may deliberately give you a poor rating in order to avoid paying you a bonus regardless of how well you have actually performed in your job.

In the tech world, once you have indicated your desire to leave, they generally  don't want you to linger around, often for security reasons. In my job at at the megacorp, I was immediately removed from access to some sensitive data when I gave my notice.

It can be different in smaller companies though. Leaving the startup where I was working until a couple of days ago was a completely different affair. They just did not want me to leave and took a lot of pleading to disengage myself from them. The song Lucille by Kenny Rogers comes to mind as a good analogy :-)

[Metalcat]

IDK, my SO works for the government and its very normal for them to be totally up front about when they are retiring, usually they start talking about it for the last few years that they are there.

It's not just government workers either, a lot of professionals I know are very up front about their retirement timelines. I've always been upfront about how many years an employer can feasibly expect from me.

I'm not in the US though, so perhaps there's a regional/cultural aspect at play that I'm not aware of?

Here is one way that you could get dinged in the corporate world in the US: If they know you're going to be leaving, the company may deliberately give you a poor rating in order to avoid paying you a bonus regardless of how well you have actually performed in your job.

In the tech world, once you have indicated your desire to leave, they generally  don't want you to linger around, often for security reasons. In my job at at the megacorp, I was immediately removed from access to some sensitive data when I gave my notice.

It can be different in smaller companies though. Leaving the startup where I was working until a couple of days ago was a completely different affair. They just did not want me to leave and took a lot of pleading to disengage myself from them. The song Lucille by Kenny Rogers comes to mind as a good analogy :-)

Well, the person I quoted said they work for government. That's why I replied.

I've never worked in a MegaCorp environment, and neither do most of the people I know, they're either government, academia, non profit, or small business.

I was responding to the generalization that under no circumstances should someone reveal when they plan to depart.

In my experience, and those of the people I know who aren't in MegaCorp, it hasn't seemed to be a problem to be open about retirement timelines.

I'm not saying it's the right move for everyone, I just don't subscribe to the belief that it's fundamentally a no-no.

[ospreyjp]

The culture in government work does seem pretty different from the private sector.  When I worked megacorp jobs years ago you definitely did not want to reveal any intention that you were considering moving on or retiring for the reasons mentioned. 

In my case, the motivation for letting folks at work know is to avoid having potentially enduring projects needlessly assigned to me.  Another incentive for me is to simply excuse/explain the apathy for the job that I feel is getting harder by the month to mask. 

[E.T.]

I just read this whole thread and have to say to the OP that I feel energized now to face the upcoming 11 months and 26 days!  If you were able to grind through it for 5 years, I can damn sure make it through this next year. 

As discussed several times in this thread, I do have sense of guilt in not being able to really have my head in the game.  I am concerned that this will worsen as I get closer to my retirement date.  I am torn between the urge to just tell my coworkers, or at least my manager that I plan to retire next year just to have them understand the reason for the apathy I feel must show at times.  Working for the government, I feel fairly safe in doing so.  On the other hand, maybe no good would come of it...

Sent from my moto g(7) using Tapatalk

You're absolutely correct - do not under any circumstances reveal your plans to depart!

IDK, my SO works for the government and its very normal for them to be totally up front about when they are retiring, usually they start talking about it for the last few years that they are there.

It's not just government workers either, a lot of professionals I know are very up front about their retirement timelines. I've always been upfront about how many years an employer can feasibly expect from me.

I'm not in the US though, so perhaps there's a regional/cultural aspect at play that I'm not aware of?

Several of my friends work for the US government and it's the same here too. People are very open about their timelines once you get within a couple years. I've never heard of someone getting backlash for that.

[Abe Froman]

The frustration I feel, which is likely very true for many others, is most probably a mix of being close to – or at the FI goal and the additional frustration of isolation as a result of COVID.

First, I must say that I am very truly lucky to still be employed when so many others are not. I work for a great small company – have been there for roughly 15 years and watched it grow from a $2M annual rev co. to a $43M annual rev co. Due to the very un-micromanagement approach of the ownership and C-Suite and possibly my tenure there, I have a very flexible and accommodating schedule, usually. I say usually because as a Government Contractor – proposals are how we win contracts and those are always fraught with tight timelines, pressure, typically missed holidays and 90-120 hour weeks. As a VP I am responsible for a number of teams – but I have worked hard in getting my direct reports to be able to think for their own, adopt a service mentality to the customer – but also not be a pushover. But generally my regular keeping up with my contracts is fairly easy, especially since COVID.

I am in love with the fact that due to COVID I do not have a 90 minute commute to work or a 110 minute commute back home – anymore.
The good part of this is now I have more time to eat breakfast with my kids before they jump on virtual school. We both can play in the sun for lunch breaks. I can easily help the Mrs with little things around the house during the day without feeling hassled by her requests after what would have typically been a long week with a commute.
All of this – and many more little things – have pretty much secured me in my thinking that I will not be returning to the work office if they call us back. Just this seflf-made decision is a little scary for me.

Now, knowing the company leadership the way I do – if a staffer has a real concern returning – they would likely make some sort of accommodation and not incur some hardline ‘return or your fired’ approach. Nevertheless, I had been feeling that I am good here – and if they need to let me go, I am ok with that. (We are comfortably over 25x and approaching 30x – but new COVID finances have shown us that we can consume MUCH less and save MUCH more).

BUT – what is weird is I still have the Scary Sundays, looking down the barrel of a Monday morning work.
I don’t get it.
I am not commuting in, my schedule is very flexible (e.g. I can knock off for an hr or two and go to the driving range), and yet I still feel …. anxious. Albeit not as bad as when I was commuting – but still. I feel awkward for having those feelings – like I am cheating the system or something.
I have thought about it some and I think it is the expectation of work that has be rankled. I think that being tethered to a work email, phone call is the issue.

The other concern I have is how long do I stay? I mean I cannot complain – whatsoever. BUT – I want to do stuff – want to go golfing, continue sailing with my older/retired friends, learn diesel engine repair, take my kids on adventures – all without worrying about work in the back of my head.
Maybe I should just count my blessings.
It can always get worse – right?

Maybe I stay on for 3-4 months – possibly get that bonus and start saving for a nice 36 foot sailboat.

Anyone else going through these OMY/COVID antsyness?

[Slow road to freedom]

Anyone else going through these OMY/COVID antsyness?

Only all the time. I'm not quite in the 25x position (probably 20x) but I feel grateful and secure in equal measure. But on occasion I feel 'listless', especially when I have a day off and enjoy doing what I do (which is nothing of any consequence, really). I'm on this forum and daydreaming way more than is probably healthy. You mentioned it - I feel 'tethered'.

Back to work now...

[friedmmj]

Dude! What are you waiting for? I know this sounds flip, but really, what are your goals?

To secure my pension eligibility! Plan on retiring the day I reach eligibility (May 7, 2019). I can do two more years here standing on my head for the lifetime income stream and health benefits coming my way! But I shall bitch about it daily!

I've been giving a lot of thought to the paradox of golden handcuffs.  There are tons of folks in their 50's and 60's who would have retired yesterday but they are waiting for some arbitrary date on the calendar when their [pension, retiree health, RSUs, etc.] lock in.  So people hang on and veg out until this magical date unlocks their prison cell.

Is this beneficial to anyone?  Shouldn't companies provide people in this situation a mechanism to "buy" their freedom in some manner?  For example, a 54 year old has an early retirement option at 55 which enables him/her to retire without forfeiting options.  What if the company provided some way to compromise?  Forfeit a small % of those now in exchange for accelerating the date or something like that.

The key would be for this option to be transparent and consistent with all affected employees.  No one wants to broach this subject as a negotiation which could backfire and expose them to negative consequences.

[DocToDisco]

I'm a few years away from RE. I had never really thought seriously about RE until my job became extremely boring to me last year. I found the MMM site while doing some research on how much money I'd actually need to never work again. Since my wife and myself are fairly frugal by nature, I felt the principles on this website really matched my personality, and became extremely motivated about retiring early.

RE for me can happen in 5 to 10 years, based on my family's expenses an my current revenue. Yet I now spend a huge amount of my time thinking of ways to accelerate this process. But it's not easy to make more money, and we've already been cutting a lot. At this point I wish I could just quit tomorrow, but this is not realistic, and I feel like the next 5 years of so could become the longest ones in my life.

Have people who are FIRE today, ever felt that type of feeling? How does one cope with it?

Here's a reference for you.  Made me feel better when I read it.

https://ournextlife.com/2016/10/17/early-checkout/

[DocToDisco]

I'm a few years away from RE. I had never really thought seriously about RE until my job became extremely boring to me last year. I found the MMM site while doing some research on how much money I'd actually need to never work again. Since my wife and myself are fairly frugal by nature, I felt the principles on this website really matched my personality, and became extremely motivated about retiring early.

RE for me can happen in 5 to 10 years, based on my family's expenses an my current revenue. Yet I now spend a huge amount of my time thinking of ways to accelerate this process. But it's not easy to make more money, and we've already been cutting a lot. At this point I wish I could just quit tomorrow, but this is not realistic, and I feel like the next 5 years of so could become the longest ones in my life.

Have people who are FIRE today, ever felt that type of feeling? How does one cope with it?

Here's a reference for you.  Made me feel better when I read it.

https://ournextlife.com/2016/10/17/early-checkout/

[LightTripper]

Another one thanking you for the necropost.  I'm also close, also struggling a bit, so it's really interesting to read your experiences.   I've also probably hung on for too long in my last job, although changing career would have been a huge investment that would definitely have set me back financially, and I'm not sure whether just changing employer would have done much for me (maybe - I have a friend in a similar position who has 5 more years to go who moved last year, and I think he has felt that the change has been good for him).

Anyway, will be interested to see how the final couple of months feel (hopefully better than the last few!) and following your story from there!

[friedmmj]

I have 16 months to go and I feel like now, more than ever, there is this weird dissonance in thinking about the amount of time left.

On one hand, it seems like 16 months is a very brief phase in the grand scheme of life and will be over before I know it.  On the other hand....still, that's almost 500 days which is objectively a pretty long time to be "watching the clock" so to speak.

I think once I get down to about 6 months, it will truly be like a victory lap to churn out those final days.  For now, I'm stuck in some weird type of limbo.

[paideuma]

Maybe I stay on for 3-4 months – possibly get that bonus and start saving for a nice 36 foot sailboat.

Anyone else going through these OMY/COVID antsyness?

I'm still a couple of years out (should FIRE in mid-2023), and there is something about COVID having made work "easier" in a sense that has made me hang on to a job I disdain longer than I normally would. I'll preface this by saying that I FULLY recognize that this is a very privileged experience of COVID, but being remote has taken some major stressors away. The commute, my boss/his boss/random managers not constantly hovering around, the "energy" of work (which is often more stressful than fun to me as an introvert). I get paid in the mid six figures to sit around in my sweatpants now! I feel lucky, and I try to keep reminding myself of that when I start feeling burnt out. I'd probably OMY it if I was there just because.

My company has been a little more strict and it does sound like they will eventually "make" us go back to the office (pending a vaccine/treatment, so it would still be some time). When that happens, that's the point where I'll start looking for a new job, or maybe take a sabbatical. I've been slacking because I can get away with it. I still get my job done, but I am not the above and beyond over-achiever I once was.

In a perfect world I would quit today, but most of my hobbies involve being outdoors and traveling, so it isn't as fun/safe with COVID going on, so I might as well stick it out in my PJ's and take the easy paycheck has been my mindset as of late.

[RainyDay]

I'll preface this by saying that I FULLY recognize that this is a very privileged experience of COVID, but being remote has taken some major stressors away. The commute, my boss/his boss/random managers not constantly hovering around, the "energy" of work (which is often more stressful than fun to me as an introvert). I get paid in the mid six figures to sit around in my sweatpants now! I feel lucky, and I try to keep reminding myself of that when I start feeling burnt out. I'd probably OMY it if I was there just because.

Same here.  No more commute, no more being pestered in the office by bored co-workers, etc.  Being on telework for the majority of this year (for the first time ever) has made it so much more bearable.  I have just over 2 years to go, so I'm not as close to the goal as some of you...but I definitely feel impatient for that time to pass!

[Mrs. Healthywealth]

Yes, trying very hard to stay engaged or actually care about work. It helps that our team is great. There are things that don’t have much meaning like they did before. Ultimately, focusing on the positives in the work environment like the relationships, all the people we help, and how we make a difference in the health field keeps me going. Even writing this reminds me how ill get thru the next 13 months, and not quit at 6 months—it makes a difference in terms of buffer.

Also am a gov’t worker and don’t know anyone who isn’t open about retiring. It helps with transition. But, I had to keep my retirement date vague b/c my loan broker told me in order to qualify for loans banks want to know you’re working 3 more years. So I retire “who knows when”.

[friedmmj]

Waking up this awesome thread because it's such a great coping mechanism to commiserate with your fellow inmates.

I'm down to 11 months and 1 week!  Somehow, I imagined breaking through the "one year left" barrier to retirement would be more satisfying.  The only thing I can scrape up in this regard is that I'm starting to hear more references at work to specific tasks that will occur at dates that are beyond me escape date.  Each time that happens, an uncontrollable smile happens.

Mostly, I'm just feeling awkward about my lack of productivity at work and wanting it be over.

[norajean]

It is well established that as humans our patience is inversely related to how close the goal is. Perhaps this is some atavistic hard wired push to catch the prey after tracking it. Have you ever noticed that driving all day is quite boring but the last 30 minutes can be a rush to the finish line? This can be dangerous as well. Don’t choke at the last minute.

[markbike528CBX]

 Did you ever feel the frustration of being "close to the goal"?

Nope.  I hadn't really set much of a goal.
I generated an estimate of FIRE expenses based on W2 box 1 (gross-401k) minus taxes.
I sort of slipped way over that by the 4% rule before I realized it.

I was looking at my FIRE spreadsheet at work for 30minutes to an hour a day at work and wondering "what was I doing sitting in a cubicle?".
I knew I could FIRE, but there was a lot of inertia.  I eventually told my boss that I wanted summers off.  That became FIRE, as with headcount issues, I couldn't just take off for several months (Mid-May to Mid-September) at at time.

[BikeFanatic]

Fried MMJ I agree 100% my last six months were very dificult to get through. I was close  and I felt like all the changes at work were enough to push me over the edge. I was doing OMY and end up doing more like one more six month stint.

I was hanging onto a job I despised, and not sure I was that good at. They liked me though and I put in my best effort. It was a relief to tell my new boss ( 3 bosses in 3 years), that I was retiring and even if I picked up part time work it would be elsewhere.
Was very careful and only gave 2 weeks notice.

One thing I found helpful was to have Occasional phone calls or zoom meeting with the coworkeers that I enjoyed the most, and without letting them know I was leaving but building some friendship and trust so I can enjoy at least one aspect of my job ( and have connections in case I Fire fail!) That is all I miss at work the connections.
Good luck to you

[LightTripper]

I think it can get harder as you approach the end.  I found last year very difficult: I had planned to drop to part time during the year, but in the end felt a responsibility to my junior colleagues not to turn down any client work (to try to avoid Covid-related redundancies - which we largely did), so ended up very busy and it really felt like a grind.

Even now I'm part time and finding work more pleasant, I still find myself ruminating a lot on what to do (keep my hand in, in case I end up anchorless without a job?  Or is it silly to keep doing a couple of days a week, when that means my "always on" brain is effectively still "always on"?)

I think it's hard because as you get to the end (a) you are right in a judgement zone about whether you have enough.  If you've judged you have enough at X-date, you almost certainly have enough under some assumptions on date X-6 months.  It can be very hard to keep going through a bad day knowing that in theory you could simply walk away.  Especially when you are in the fantasy version of walking away where you don't owe anybody a good handover, and don't make any efforts to conserve your know-how or relationships or pass them on in any way.  And then also (b) you are ahead of a massive change in your life, and as welcome as that is, I think for most of us it's also a little scary and unsettling.

It is a difficult time I think - but it's a "good" difficult.  It's difficult because you are doing the work of building a good life for yourself, and making decisions that matter.  And that "work" of building a good life doesn't end at FIRE - or any time that I can see.  I see my parents in their 70s and 80s still doing that work: but in my view they are doing it successfully, and do have a good (fun and interesting!) life and do some good in the world.  That's what I aspire to.  I'd just like to start the "freedom phase" a little earlier than they were able to!

[friedmmj]

I think it can get harder as you approach the end.  I found last year very difficult: I had planned to drop to part time during the year, but in the end felt a responsibility to my junior colleagues not to turn down any client work (to try to avoid Covid-related redundancies - which we largely did), so ended up very busy and it really felt like a grind.

Even now I'm part time and finding work more pleasant, I still find myself ruminating a lot on what to do (keep my hand in, in case I end up anchorless without a job?  Or is it silly to keep doing a couple of days a week, when that means my "always on" brain is effectively still "always on"?)

I think it's hard because as you get to the end (a) you are right in a judgement zone about whether you have enough.  If you've judged you have enough at X-date, you almost certainly have enough under some assumptions on date X-6 months.  It can be very hard to keep going through a bad day knowing that in theory you could simply walk away.  Especially when you are in the fantasy version of walking away where you don't owe anybody a good handover, and don't make any efforts to conserve your know-how or relationships or pass them on in any way.  And then also (b) you are ahead of a massive change in your life, and as welcome as that is, I think for most of us it's also a little scary and unsettling.

It is a difficult time I think - but it's a "good" difficult.  It's difficult because you are doing the work of building a good life for yourself, and making decisions that matter.  And that "work" of building a good life doesn't end at FIRE - or any time that I can see.  I see my parents in their 70s and 80s still doing that work: but in my view they are doing it successfully, and do have a good (fun and interesting!) life and do some good in the world.  That's what I aspire to.  I'd just like to start the "freedom phase" a little earlier than they were able to!

Thanks for sharing this.  I like the term "good" difficult.  Part of what I am struggling with is that I'm feeling that my desire to perform well at work is about 25% of what it was 10-15 years ago.  I'm sort of treating this period as a severance package, but collecting while still on the job lol.

[friedmmj]

The 2+ months since my last post seems like it's been 6 months.  I have another 9 months to go until retirement.  It seems like time has slowed to a crawl.  Just got back from a wonderful 2 week vacation and now that I'm back at w*rk, I'm finding that I have almost zero motivation or ability to focus on work. 

This would be fine if I was down to last 1-2 months, but with 9 months to go this seems like the Bataan Death March.  OMG, I'm a horrible person for making that analogy.

[Bateaux]

I'm 709 days away.  That's not really even close yet.  It's difficult showing up with the same drive I had when younger.  I think also it has to do with the loss of dreams.  When younger you think everything is possible.  Once you've lived a lot of your life, you understand that not all your dreams will come true.  Retirement in a way is a second birth.  Dreams change.

[rebel_quietude]

I'm 709 days away.  That's not really even close yet.  It's difficult showing up with the same drive I had when younger.  I think also it has to do with the loss of dreams.  When younger you think everything is possible.  Once you've lived a lot of your life, you understand that not all your dreams will come true.  Retirement in a way is a second birth.  Dreams change.

I think that's pretty astute, Bateaux.

Last month I found myself having lunch with a bright, engaged grad student who clearly thought that we were all doing it wrong and that when she got out into the world she was going to fix it. No real understanding of systemic obstacles and limitations, diverse stakeholders, political realities . . . she was overwhelmingly naive. The funny thing is, her attitude didn't frustrate me.  It made me smile, and hope she managed to hold on to it for as long as possible. I didn't want to puncture her dreams, even though I knew they didn't reflect reality. No need to hurry that process along, it'll happen on its own.

At a certain point, I think I looked at the smallness of my own footprint and decided to do my best, for as long as I could, and hope that my work added weight to the good guys' side. And when I'm done, to know that I did my best, and allow myself to be comforted. I'm not going to fix the world, regardless of what I dreamed in high school.

But maybe she will. Never know. :)

 

[friedmmj]

I'm 709 days away.  That's not really even close yet.  It's difficult showing up with the same drive I had when younger.  I think also it has to do with the loss of dreams.  When younger you think everything is possible.  Once you've lived a lot of your life, you understand that not all your dreams will come true.  Retirement in a way is a second birth.  Dreams change.

I think that's pretty astute, Bateaux.

Last month I found myself having lunch with a bright, engaged grad student who clearly thought that we were all doing it wrong and that when she got out into the world she was going to fix it. No real understanding of systemic obstacles and limitations, diverse stakeholders, political realities . . . she was overwhelmingly naive. The funny thing is, her attitude didn't frustrate me.  It made me smile, and hope she managed to hold on to it for as long as possible. I didn't want to puncture her dreams, even though I knew they didn't reflect reality. No need to hurry that process along, it'll happen on its own.

At a certain point, I think I looked at the smallness of my own footprint and decided to do my best, for as long as I could, and hope that my work added weight to the good guys' side. And when I'm done, to know that I did my best, and allow myself to be comforted. I'm not going to fix the world, regardless of what I dreamed in high school.

But maybe she will. Never know. :)

Wow - that's some profound story telling!  You're only 35 though!  You don't get to think that way until 50 LOL!

[rebel_quietude]

I'm 709 days away.  That's not really even close yet.  It's difficult showing up with the same drive I had when younger.  I think also it has to do with the loss of dreams.  When younger you think everything is possible.  Once you've lived a lot of your life, you understand that not all your dreams will come true.  Retirement in a way is a second birth.  Dreams change.

I think that's pretty astute, Bateaux.

Last month I found myself having lunch with a bright, engaged grad student who clearly thought that we were all doing it wrong and that when she got out into the world she was going to fix it. No real understanding of systemic obstacles and limitations, diverse stakeholders, political realities . . . she was overwhelmingly naive. The funny thing is, her attitude didn't frustrate me.  It made me smile, and hope she managed to hold on to it for as long as possible. I didn't want to puncture her dreams, even though I knew they didn't reflect reality. No need to hurry that process along, it'll happen on its own.

At a certain point, I think I looked at the smallness of my own footprint and decided to do my best, for as long as I could, and hope that my work added weight to the good guys' side. And when I'm done, to know that I did my best, and allow myself to be comforted. I'm not going to fix the world, regardless of what I dreamed in high school.

But maybe she will. Never know. :)

Wow - that's some profound story telling!  You're only 35 though!  You don't get to think that way until 50 LOL!

And therein lies one of the reasons I've resigned myself to never reaching some of those old dreams.

I look young, and I'm in a male-dominated career. When I was 25, I didn't know anything because I was 25. Now, apparently, I don't know anything because I'm 35. I had a boss, I shit you not, call me "young lady" last year, in front of an audience, in a high-stress situation, while I was giving him counsel on a topic for which I was the subject matter expert. Apparently it was more important to put me in my place than to listen to me, when I wasn't adequately deferential to his ego.

I usually respond to this BS by being unequivocally the best at my job. But every friggin' time, I have to be twice as good for the same treatment. Eventually I figured out for some folks, I'm not going to know anything until I'm a 6' white male. When I'm 50, I'm sure I'd be an old crone whose brain is going. I'll be retired by then, hopefully the next generation will push the ball further up the mountain.

[MaybeBabyMustache]

265 days to go, and ... it's interminable. It's like, now that I can see the finish line, I'm exhausted by all aspects of corporate politics & work. My goal is to end on my 25th anniversary of tech. Ironically, I wanted to be a writer, but went into tech for a "short term" assignment, to make more money. Twenty five years later... I've tried to leave many, many times, but the money has been too good. I've managed to harness that fire hose of caash to retire "early". Let's do this.

[friedmmj]

I'm 709 days away.  That's not really even close yet.  It's difficult showing up with the same drive I had when younger.  I think also it has to do with the loss of dreams.  When younger you think everything is possible.  Once you've lived a lot of your life, you understand that not all your dreams will come true.  Retirement in a way is a second birth.  Dreams change.

I think that's pretty astute, Bateaux.

Last month I found myself having lunch with a bright, engaged grad student who clearly thought that we were all doing it wrong and that when she got out into the world she was going to fix it. No real understanding of systemic obstacles and limitations, diverse stakeholders, political realities . . . she was overwhelmingly naive. The funny thing is, her attitude didn't frustrate me.  It made me smile, and hope she managed to hold on to it for as long as possible. I didn't want to puncture her dreams, even though I knew they didn't reflect reality. No need to hurry that process along, it'll happen on its own.

At a certain point, I think I looked at the smallness of my own footprint and decided to do my best, for as long as I could, and hope that my work added weight to the good guys' side. And when I'm done, to know that I did my best, and allow myself to be comforted. I'm not going to fix the world, regardless of what I dreamed in high school.

But maybe she will. Never know. :)

Wow - that's some profound story telling!  You're only 35 though!  You don't get to think that way until 50 LOL!

And therein lies one of the reasons I've resigned myself to never reaching some of those old dreams.

I look young, and I'm in a male-dominated career. When I was 25, I didn't know anything because I was 25. Now, apparently, I don't know anything because I'm 35. I had a boss, I shit you not, call me "young lady" last year, in front of an audience, in a high-stress situation, while I was giving him counsel on a topic for which I was the subject matter expert. Apparently it was more important to put me in my place than to listen to me, when I wasn't adequately deferential to his ego.

I usually respond to this BS by being unequivocally the best at my job. But every friggin' time, I have to be twice as good for the same treatment. Eventually I figured out for some folks, I'm not going to know anything until I'm a 6' white male. When I'm 50, I'm sure I'd be an old crone whose brain is going. I'll be retired by then, hopefully the next generation will push the ball further up the mountain.

That really resonates with me although I am a 54 year old man :-).  I mean the part about having to deal with these over-inflated egos that always seem to suck all the air out of the room and deprive the people with the actual insights of their oxygen.  I became as jaded about work life around age 45.  Maybe I should feel luck that I didn't have to deal with the sexist attitudes that you do.  Raising 3 kids and having a wife who stayed home meant sticking it out for another 10 years to make the numbers work.  Thankfully, I'm retiring next year.

[J.R. Ewing]

This thread title fits my situation to a T.  We 89% of the way towards our number.  I was laid off last year and my wife's bonus was cut as part of the 2020 oilfield turmoil.  Together our income fell to 40% of where it was at the start of 2020.  We're still ever so slowly saving, but it will take a long time to save that last 11% at this pace.  In the mean time, my health has cratered.  I've been on dialysis now for 4 years and am still maybe 3 years out from a new kidney.  I've been trying to find a new job, but I don't know if I'm in good enough health to hold down a 40+ hr a week job. 

We were sooo close to out goal.  It feels like we're in an undertow.  Swimming as hard as we can in sight of land, but making no progress and tiring quickly.

[rebel_quietude]

This thread title fits my situation to a T.  We 89% of the way towards our number.  I was laid off last year and my wife's bonus was cut as part of the 2020 oilfield turmoil.  Together our income fell to 40% of where it was at the start of 2020.  We're still ever so slowly saving, but it will take a long time to save that last 11% at this pace.  In the mean time, my health has cratered.  I've been on dialysis now for 4 years and am still maybe 3 years out from a new kidney.  I've been trying to find a new job, but I don't know if I'm in good enough health to hold down a 40+ hr a week job. 

We were sooo close to out goal.  It feels like we're in an undertow.  Swimming as hard as we can in sight of land, but making no progress and tiring quickly.

Geeze, I'm sorry. Coast fire, man - find something that lets you take care of yourself. The market will take care of that 11 percent eventually, but you're not going to get healthy years back. Good luck!

[mspym]

This thread title fits my situation to a T.  We 89% of the way towards our number.  I was laid off last year and my wife's bonus was cut as part of the 2020 oilfield turmoil.  Together our income fell to 40% of where it was at the start of 2020.  We're still ever so slowly saving, but it will take a long time to save that last 11% at this pace.  In the mean time, my health has cratered.  I've been on dialysis now for 4 years and am still maybe 3 years out from a new kidney.  I've been trying to find a new job, but I don't know if I'm in good enough health to hold down a 40+ hr a week job. 

We were sooo close to out goal.  It feels like we're in an undertow.  Swimming as hard as we can in sight of land, but making no progress and tiring quickly.

Geeze, I'm sorry. Coast fire, man - find something that lets you take care of yourself. The market will take care of that 11 percent eventually, but you're not going to get healthy years back. Good luck!

Agreed, I think you have more options than just power through. Can you review expenses to reduce them? Can you live off your wife's income and let the market do the last part? You have 20 years of expenses sorted, this gives you serious flexibility if you take advantage of it.

[Metalcat]

This thread title fits my situation to a T.  We 89% of the way towards our number.  I was laid off last year and my wife's bonus was cut as part of the 2020 oilfield turmoil.  Together our income fell to 40% of where it was at the start of 2020.  We're still ever so slowly saving, but it will take a long time to save that last 11% at this pace.  In the mean time, my health has cratered.  I've been on dialysis now for 4 years and am still maybe 3 years out from a new kidney.  I've been trying to find a new job, but I don't know if I'm in good enough health to hold down a 40+ hr a week job. 

We were sooo close to out goal.  It feels like we're in an undertow.  Swimming as hard as we can in sight of land, but making no progress and tiring quickly.

Geeze, I'm sorry. Coast fire, man - find something that lets you take care of yourself. The market will take care of that 11 percent eventually, but you're not going to get healthy years back. Good luck!

Agreed, I think you have more options than just power through. Can you review expenses to reduce them? Can you live off your wife's income and let the market do the last part? You have 20 years of expenses sorted, this gives you serious flexibility if you take advantage of it.

100% agree.

YOU are the one setting your own goals, you have all the power in the world to change them if they aren't suiting you.