Author Topic: Did post fire returns exceed expectations? Have you changed your lifestyle?  (Read 3905 times)

One

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Things have been good! I'm curious if your investment grew more than you had planned. Has it changed your lifestyle?  I think if you'd always been a saver it might be hard to change course. Maybe more vacations?

G-dog

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Things have been good!
I'm curious if your investment grew more than you had planned. Yes - I havenít worked for 3 years now (granted this is a relatively short time) and my portfolio has continued to grow faster than I spend.

Has it changed your lifestyle? I havenít changed anything regardless of the portfolio growth. Expenses are likely higher this year due to get bills, but itís not a problem.

I think if you'd always been a saver it might be hard to change course. hahaha! Yep. Also, with all this I feel lucky, not smarter than the market.

Maybe more vacations?. Not really yet. Spouse is still working (we have separate finances)

One

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Things have been good!
I'm curious if your investment grew more than you had planned. Yes - I havenít worked for 3 years now (granted this is a relatively short time) and my portfolio has continued to grow faster than I spend.

Has it changed your lifestyle? I havenít changed anything regardless of the portfolio growth. Expenses are likely higher this year due to get bills, but itís not a problem.

I think if you'd always been a saver it might be hard to change course. hahaha! Yep. Also, with all this I feel lucky, not smarter than the market.

Maybe more vacations?. Not really yet. Spouse is still working (we have separate finances)

That's Awesome! I bet it feels great to have your freedom. I'm hoping to be there soon.

G-dog

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Itís been better than I could have expected. I was very stressed out at work. It took awhile to decompress. It became clear I didnít realize the degree to which I was stressed. Iím not particularly young (58yo now), but feel very lucky to have found this place and gotten out when I did.

dude

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Maybe more vacations?. Not really yet. Spouse is still working (we have separate finances)
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G-dog, I'm curious how that's working out? I'll be in the same boat come May 2019, and while the wife has begrudgingly accepted the fact that I'll be retiring, she's expressed occasionally that she's going to be jealous and that she hopes "you don't think you'll be running off for weeks at a time like your friend ______ _______." I have some trepidations about how she's going to handle my freedom.

G-dog

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Maybe more vacations?. Not really yet. Spouse is still working (we have separate finances)

G-dog, I'm curious how that's working out? I'll be in the same boat come May 2019, and while the wife has begrudgingly accepted the fact that I'll be retiring, she's expressed occasionally that she's going to be jealous and that she hopes "you don't think you'll be running off for weeks at a time like your friend ______ _______." I have some trepidations about how she's going to handle my freedom.
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You are so close - congratulations!

Spouse was nervous in the weeks leading up to my last work day. I was the primary breadwinner for our entire life together except the first year out of university. I made close to 50% more than him in the last years. We havenít split bills 50:50 - when he was in graduate school and post-docíing I paid all household expenses. Things have shifted since then, but I donít know the exact split now.  So, I think he feared the fire hose of cash going away.
Spouse likes his job, for the most part, so is not jealous regarding that aspect.

Do you plan to run off for weeks at a time? If not, you can reassure her that that wonít be happening. But yeah, just being able to get up every morning and not even think about going to work is GLORIOUS!

Does she have any timeline for her retirement? Are your finances shared?  IMO mostly she needs to deal with her feelings and communicate with you. But you can do things to help her feel less upset - even just having coffee ready for her in the morning, or something that makes her morning easier will help. Making her nights after work easier is great too. 

dude

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Do you plan to run off for weeks at a time? If not, you can reassure her that that wonít be happening. But yeah, just being able to get up every morning and not even think about going to work is GLORIOUS!

Does she have any timeline for her retirement? Are your finances shared?  IMO mostly she needs to deal with her feelings and communicate with you. But you can do things to help her feel less upset - even just having coffee ready for her in the morning, or something that makes her morning easier will help. Making her nights after work easier is great too.

Well, yeah, kinda.  I go on several solo vacations each year to do the things I do that she doesn't (primarily, rock climbing and snowboarding), usually for 9-10 days at a time. I absolutely plan to stretch those out a little longer to maybe two full weeks. I also think it would be reasonable for me to arrive early (a few days to a week) to our joint vacation destinations to do the stuff I do that she again does not (primarily surfing and scuba diving). I've mentioned to her that I have a finite, relatively short window to do these activities before age starts to take its toll (I'll be a few weeks shy of 54 when I retire), and that's the reality. I can't be fully happy unless I can be doing these things, and the limitations imposed on my ability to do them more frequently now chafes. So yes, I am incredibly excited at the prospect of spending vastly more time doing them.

We have separate-ish finances. We contribute to a joint account for mortgage+taxes and savings, but otherwise maintain our own accounts as we split the household bills (her: utilities, cable; me: all insurance, car, groceries).

I presently do all the cooking -- she doesn't have a clue as to how to cook anything -- half the cleaning, dog walking, etc., and all the yardwork. For sure I will do all the dog walking when I retire (at least when I'm home) and probably most of the cleaning too. So her life -- pretty cush now -- will be even more so then (again, when I'm around!).

G-dog

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@dude - these donít sound like big changes to me - 14 days vs10 days, itís not like you are suddenly going to take off for 6 weeks or longer. It doesnít even sound like you are going to add lots more trips.

But, since I already donít feel the same way she does, I donít have any real insight. I do wonder though if she already resented your trips (if youíve taken vacations without her), and so itís already a point of contention for her.

Does she have the option of taking unpaid time off for any of the longer trips? Just guessing that her paid vacation is limited.

Keep communicating about your trips - remind her, remind again, etc.  maybe you can find out if there is another issue (e.g., doing all the dog chores while you are gone) which you could offset (e.g., hire a dog walker) while you are gone.  Sometimes we complain about stuff thatís safer than our real complaint.

And, I know I am not great at predicting how I feel about something in advance.

doggyfizzle

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primarily surfing and scuba diving.

Come on @dude I see old gramps out in the lineup with me all the time (70+) showing groms how it's done.  Stretch a little bit before and after and you can surfing well into old age.

SunshineAZ

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primarily surfing and scuba diving.

Come on @dude I see old gramps out in the lineup with me all the time (70+) showing groms how it's done.  Stretch a little bit before and after and you can surfing well into old age.

LOL not a surfer, but a diver and half of our dive group is over 55, with the 2 oldest being 69 and 72.  Don't be a wimp!  :) 

dude

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shhhh! You guys are NOT helping!  haha!  True enough, I know plenty of older dudes who can still surf, dive, climb and snowboard.  But the truth is, most can't do it at the level they could in their 40's and 50's even. I'm partial to long, remote backcountry climbing and snowboarding trips, where the fitness requirement is pretty damn high, and while I know there are some in their 60's and 70's who can still get out there, the fact remains they are the exception rather than the rule. Perhaps I'll be an exception as well, perhaps not. Only time will tell. I had a pretty tough injury snowboarding this year that kept me on crutches for 5 1/2 weeks, and even today 5 months later is not fully healed and has kept me from training at my pre-injury levels. So I don't take it for granted that I'll be doing these things well into my 70's. I sure as hell hope so, but the odds are probably against me.

dude

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@dude - these donít sound like big changes to me - 14 days vs10 days, itís not like you are suddenly going to take off for 6 weeks or longer. It doesnít even sound like you are going to add lots more trips.

But, since I already donít feel the same way she does, I donít have any real insight. I do wonder though if she already resented your trips (if youíve taken vacations without her), and so itís already a point of contention for her.

Does she have the option of taking unpaid time off for any of the longer trips? Just guessing that her paid vacation is limited.

Keep communicating about your trips - remind her, remind again, etc.  maybe you can find out if there is another issue (e.g., doing all the dog chores while you are gone) which you could offset (e.g., hire a dog walker) while you are gone.  Sometimes we complain about stuff thatís safer than our real complaint.

And, I know I am not great at predicting how I feel about something in advance.

G-dog, you sound like a reasonable, rational human being -- I can't say the same for my wife! hahahaha!  Yes, her paid vacation is limited (@5 weeks/year). And your advice about communicating is well-taken, and indeed what I've been trying to do in anticipation of my impending FIRE freedom.

G-dog

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5 weeks is a LOT of vacation time (by US standards) - of course some can get eaten up by family holiday obligations and the like.

If your wife wants to travel more - maybe this will encourage her to get things aligned so that she can FIRE soon too!

None of us are as rational as we like to think we are! I don't have any skin in the game - so of course my view is just based on what you outlined here - not your whole history with your wife and whatever compromises have been made (or not) in the past....

LifePhaseTwo

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@dude - Iím a wife whose husband FIREd 2 years ago, and I complained half-jokingly that it wasnít fair that he got to start his retired life before me. I teased him that I might throw a bucket of water on him if he was snoring contentedly when I had to brave the cold northern Alberta weather to go to work. Yes, I was a bit jealous of his free time and his occasional solo trips. But heís 10 years older than me and worked very hard all his life. So I decided to just buckle down and focus on my own FIRE plan. Now that Iíve handed in my notice and will FIRE on Nov 2, I realize that his earlier start date was actually motivating to me, and Iíve also learned from his experiences what I want my retirement to look like. All the best to you guys.

dude

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@dude - Iím a wife whose husband FIREd 2 years ago, and I complained half-jokingly that it wasnít fair that he got to start his retired life before me. I teased him that I might throw a bucket of water on him if he was snoring contentedly when I had to brave the cold northern Alberta weather to go to work. Yes, I was a bit jealous of his free time and his occasional solo trips. But heís 10 years older than me and worked very hard all his life. So I decided to just buckle down and focus on my own FIRE plan. Now that Iíve handed in my notice and will FIRE on Nov 2, I realize that his earlier start date was actually motivating to me, and Iíve also learned from his experiences what I want my retirement to look like. All the best to you guys.

Awesome, thanks!  I hope my retirement does the same for my wife!

bognish

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Dude if your retirement travels take you out west, we might need to get some weekday pitches in together. My climbing gear has been neglected for a few years, but this year my daughter has been bugging me to dust it off again. I am looking forward to being able to climb consistently again. There are some nice alpine lines I can see from my house that are guarded by some steep elevation gain approaches. Sitting at a desk all day is not helping with conditioning to get there.

My kids have to get a little older before I start back country touring again, and with an Alta season pass won't be able to ride chairs with a snowboarder until the kids get good enough to hang at the Bird.

BTDretire

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Things have been good!
  If you have a some money in the stock market, things have been very good.
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I'm curious if your investment grew more than you had planned.
If they haven't, your plan had very high expectations!
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Has it changed your lifestyle?  I think if you'd always been a saver it might be hard to change course. Maybe more vacations?

  Personally, I wouldn't change much, remember 10 years ago and 18 years ago? (This is the S&P)
« Last Edit: August 25, 2018, 08:10:49 PM by BTDretire »

dude

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Dude if your retirement travels take you out west, we might need to get some weekday pitches in together. My climbing gear has been neglected for a few years, but this year my daughter has been bugging me to dust it off again. I am looking forward to being able to climb consistently again. There are some nice alpine lines I can see from my house that are guarded by some steep elevation gain approaches. Sitting at a desk all day is not helping with conditioning to get there.

My kids have to get a little older before I start back country touring again, and with an Alta season pass won't be able to ride chairs with a snowboarder until the kids get good enough to hang at the Bird.

Sounds like you're in the SLC area?  For sure man!  I have a good friend living in Park City I visit every year for bc and resort riding. Haven't climbed in that immediate area (though lots in the Tetons/Winds/City of Rocks), but will be looking to hit up lots of new destinations in retirement!

bognish

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Dude. Yep. south end of SLC. Close to trad granite cragging in Little Cottonwood. Close to the trailhead for longer approach:Lone Peak, Bells, Big Willow etc. I am hoping to be on a weekday climb, mtn bike & ski schedule by this time next year.

dude

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That's badass. That area is an outdoor recreationist's paradise, despite the vehemently anti-environment politicians representing that state, sadly. I really hope the outdoor community (including hunters, anglers, snowmobilers, etc.) can come together to rid that state of its troglodytic politicians. Losing the O.R. show was the first shot across the bow. I've thought about spending my ski dollars elsewhere, though it's really hard to beat Wasatch skiing.

MsRichLife

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Re: Did post fire returns exceed expectations? Have you changed your lifestyle?
« Reply #20 on: September 16, 2018, 04:02:36 AM »
Things have been good! I'm curious if your investment grew more than you had planned. Has it changed your lifestyle?  I think if you'd always been a saver it might be hard to change course. Maybe more vacations?

We've been FIREd for nearly 2 years. Our Networth has increased considerably but we still live a frugal life. Our nosy neighbours keep prying about if we are working yet. I think they assume we are on unemployment benefits. Once FIREd, Hubby discovered an expensive hobby. As a result, we decided we could both have an allowance to spend how we wish. He spends his on machines and tools. I save mine. I already have enough to travel the world for a year, but my son is only 6 so I won't be galavanting anytime soon! Our joint accounts also keep growing. Our planned renovations might become more extensive, otherwise, I'm not sure what to spend the extra money on.