You're not gonna get a pep talk from me. I stuck around for 20 due to fear & ignorance, and today my spouse and I are much smarter about the options.
My advice is to stay in the military as long as you're having fun (complexity, fulfillment, maybe even a little autonomy). When the fun stops, it's time to leave active duty.
Option 1: always a possibility, but first try Option 1a:
Leave the military for the federal job.
Join your military service's Reserves or the National Guard. Or join the National Guard unit closest to your home, even if it's not your current military service. (Hey, UCMJ is UCMJ.) He'll probably still be a lawyer drilling in a unit with duties that may or may not relate directly to his legal expertise. He could also be in a "general" billet learning some other specialty besides the law. But I know that a lot of Reserve/Guard XOs and COs will be happy to have a military lawyer in the unit to help with mobilization readiness, laws of war, and rules of engagement.
The federal government is expected to comply with Employer Support of the Guard & Reserve, of course. There may even be an option to combine or cross-train his federal duties with his Reserve/Guard duties. When he mobilizes (not "if") it'll usually be for less than one year out of five, and his federal job should be held open for his return. He might choose to mobilize to a combat zone but he might have other (potentially promotion-limiting) mobilization options. If peace breaks out all over then he might not even mobilize and might end up "just" drilling for the next decade. He'll even have his military TSP account (no match) and a federal TSP account (with a match).
The point is that he should submit his resignation at least 9-12 months before the end of this current tour, attend TAP (or GPS), and research the legal possibilities between federal & military career tracks.
After reaching 10 "good years" in the Reserves/Guard, he'll be eligible for a pension that will start at age 60. This means that you will only have to save the assets to bridge the gap between the day you reach FI and the day his pension(s) start. You'll be able to do the usual Roth IRA conversion tactics to help supplement the savings in your taxable accounts. Being a lawyer, your spouse really has no compelling reason to retire and (after he retires from both the military and the federal jobs) may choose to do part-time legal work or contract instruction.
By the way, the Reserve/Guard pension is calculated based on the pay tables in effect at age 60 and using the effective maximum longevity of his retirement rank. It's a very effective way to have a deferred pension that keeps up with inflation while you're waiting for your 60th birthday. Here's a post explaining the financial details, and it's one of the most popular posts on the blog:
http://the-military-guide.com/2012/02/27/calculating-a-reserve-retirement/Here's more on that theme:
http://the-military-guide.com/2010/12/06/retiring-from-the-reserves-and-national-guard/http://the-military-guide.com/2013/09/30/national-guard-and-reserve-retirement-at-the-maximum-pay/Here's more "pertinent" reading:
http://the-military-guide.com/2014/11/01/comparing-an-e-7-active-duty-pension-to-an-e-7-reserve-pension/http://the-military-guide.com/2013/11/07/options-for-national-guard-and-reserve-retirement/http://the-military-guide.com/2013/12/12/hanging-on-for-the-military-pension/I'll add one note of caution. You know you've achieved work/life balance among your Reserve/Guard unit, your civilian boss, and your family when... they are all equally pissed off at you for missing some critical evolution due to your obligations elsewhere.
Option 2: No. No. No. He has not signed a service obligation or a contract extension (right?) and the active-duty lifestyle is at odds with your personal priorities. "Sucking it up" will only poison the family's relationships while putting more mental, emotional, and physical stress on everyone.
You may eventually decide that active duty ain't so bad after all, and that you'd rather stay the extra 10 years for interesting duty in overseas locations. But you owe it to yourselves to deeply research and understand the Reserve/Guard options before you decide to stay on active duty.