Why I did it:
I am 47, and my husband is 9 1/2 years older. We achieved our FIRE "floor" last summer while I was almost ten years into a stressful job with a commute that was taking up 1 1/2 hours each day (in good weather). My company was in a growth mode and I was doing all of the accounting and HR functions, which was progressively becoming more complex (parts of which I enjoyed). But going into this past fall I just started feeling this weight -- compounded by the fact that deep down I knew I no longer really needed to be there -- and started to wonder why I was staying. My back and fitness were suffering from the commute and constant sitting, my boss was demanding more across the organization but not rewarding people with bonuses, pats on the back, benefits, or increased staff resources to accommodate the new growth. I was starting to lose sleep. So, I decided to resign my position to focus on this next chapter of our lives which has started to unfold in a more real way.
What my downshift looks like:
These are early days, so the answer is, "I'm not quite sure yet." I am doing some very part time paid work as Treasurer of a local non-profit. It's not much money at all, but it does give me a purpose and it's a "gig" that allows me to associate with some good people on a worthwhile goal. Even when it's frustrating, I realize that at least we're doing something to improve peoples' lives and that feels good. I'm also trying to give more time to my church. When I was working long weeks I couldn't devote as much time and just gave money, now I'm trying to change that balance.
I haven't devoted much time yet to how/when/in what capacity I'll go back to paid work. And, I'm not depressed about it either. I just sort of feel like I'm in a state of suspended animation. Maybe this is because I'm in the present, which is a good thing. I'm not ruminating about things in the past (I've accepted this was a good decision), and I'm not ruminating about what's next.
My husband is still working full time at a job very close to home. We're still saving toward our retirement, but have eased off quite a bit to improve our cash flow.
What I like about it:
I no longer have the pit in my stomach because I'm worried about something that got missed or screwed up at work -- which was so far away that I couldn't just go in and handle things. I was also "over" managing staff. I like not having to do repetitive things; I can focus on creative projects. I enjoy cooking, bread-baking, gardening, reading, getting "out and about." My job was very isolated and isolating, so I have more latitude to see people and spend time with them, so I think staying at home will be less isolating. My work life was very deadline driven; deadlines ruled my life. I like the freedom of not having too many deadlines and having the autonomy to shift my schedule around in a way that makes sense for me.
It would be interesting to answer these questions in another year, but I also find that I enjoy taking care of the day-to-day management of our household when I have time to do it and it's not an "add on" to my already stressful schedule.
The town I worked in was nothing -- a little rural spot on the road that was frankly a very depressing place. The town I live in is a college town, with a very vibrant downtown and lots of people who are doing their own thing. There are lots of creative types and professional (mostly academic) women here. I feel much more "understood" in this environment than I did in the environment in which I worked. I feel like I have more latitude to be myself here. I feel at home.
I also can tell that my husband is happier, and it's not because I'm waiting on him hand and foot:-) That's not how we roll. He just sees that I'm happier and I'm not stressed out and grouchy at home. That makes him happier. We enjoy meals together now. We do more things together in the evenings -- performances and lectures at the college (most are free, the rest are low cost.)
What's not so awesome:
Right now, it's pretty awesome... but I think the thing that will be most challenging for me is undergoing a shift in my identity and professional identity. So, "identity, identity, identity." As a woman who's worked hard to have a professional identity and left the work force when I was making pretty decent money, I think I may have some challenges coming to terms with that. Because this decision doesn't conform to norms, I get questions that I'm not comfortable answering yet. People I know well understand it and affirm it.
But then I remember how much I had to battle and the sexism I dealt with when I was on the job too... so, it's a pretty good trade-off.
My plans going forward and down-shifting:
Again, not really sure... and I'm trying to be okay with that for awhile.
My first step is just to adapt to our new income, and manage our household in a simple way. I want to do more DIY stuff at home. I want to take care of things that have fallen by the wayside.
I also want to re-commit to serious workouts... get back to long-distance running.
I'm trying to decide if I want to continue on the path I'm on (CPA) on a part-time basis, if I want to work for myself, or if I want to embark on an encore career of sorts. The more I detach the more the idea of an encore career is appealing to me. I just know that whatever I do it will be vastly different from the last ten 1/2 years of my life, even if it just means that I'm working a lot less.