Author Topic: Building up a network of friends after FIRE  (Read 1941 times)

Linda_Norway

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Building up a network of friends after FIRE
« on: March 06, 2017, 06:03:16 AM »
Hi.

When FIREd my DH and I would like to do some travelling (like cycling through Europe) and maybe live for a while in a new part of the country. Eventually my plan is to settle somewhere in a relatively cheap part of the country where there are many of our favorite activities to do in the vicinity.

We have been thinking about how hard it will be to build up a new network of friends in a new area. I guess we would have to start by joining clubs or doing voluntary work to meet others. And of course we would be in a different situation than most other people, being the ones that don't work.

What is the best way to do this? And what are your experiences?

Linda
« Last Edit: March 21, 2017, 07:03:29 AM by Linda_Norway »

mara

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Re: Building up a network of friends after FIRE
« Reply #1 on: March 06, 2017, 06:38:40 AM »
I'm a bit shy, so I went the route of joining clubs that support my interests: a book club, art guild, Bananagrams group, and a trail riding club. I'm still doing consulting work, so the four clubs ended up being too busy for me and I left the book club (which was 12 too many deadlines!). None of the activities I joined is expensive, except for owning and keeping a horse (which replaces my vacation for the rest of my life :-).

A group centered around a game can be a relatively low stress way to start a club, whether it's cards or chess or Bananagrams. There's usually a social 30-60 minutes before play begins. It's nice to rotate houses. The host could supply the refreshments, everyone could make a donation, or it could be a rotating committee.

A few clubs, enjoyable marriage, and a pleasant environment seem pretty good to me. Even if making close friends in the club(s) is slow, you'll still have companionship and some intellectual stimulation. I hope you find some fun things to do.


CowboyAndIndian

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Re: Building up a network of friends after FIRE
« Reply #2 on: March 06, 2017, 07:57:44 AM »

Gunny

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Re: Building up a network of friends after FIRE
« Reply #3 on: March 06, 2017, 10:21:15 AM »
We FIREd in August 2015 and moved to a small town in Alabama near a huge lake.  We joined book clubs, outdoors clubs, and the local Arts Counsel.  Meetup.com is a great place to find clubs that cater to your interests.  We also lived in South America for a few months.  We love to travel.  Good luck.

davisgang90

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Re: Building up a network of friends after FIRE
« Reply #4 on: March 06, 2017, 10:28:53 AM »
I'm interested in this thread since my wife and I will retire from the Navy and then immediately move to a new location for retirement.

I'm planning on part time work and to volunteer with Habitat for Humanity and such, plus will transfer my American Legion membership to the area, so I'm hoping those will help with meeting new folks.
Check out my blog.  Early retirement from a military perspective.

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spartana

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Re: Building up a network of friends after FIRE
« Reply #5 on: March 07, 2017, 09:26:17 PM »
I moved after I FIREd to a lake/mountain/ski town about 100 miles from where I had been living. I didn't know anyone there and was single with no kids but found lots of things to get involved with. Lots of active people, hiking, climbing, biking, skiing, kayaking, sailing groups, local community action groups, very active nightlife singles scene (in a low key ski town kind of way),  etc... It was a small town too but lots to do. If you go to a bigger town or city I imagine you'd have even more opportunities to meet people.
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Retire-Canada

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Re: Building up a network of friends after FIRE
« Reply #6 on: March 09, 2017, 12:04:36 PM »
What is the best way to do this? And what are your experiences?

We moved to a notoriously challenging area to get socially connected back 2010. It was definitely harder than any previous place I've lived to make some friends. We ended up having success through our sporting activities. We joined clubs where they existed and actually started a mountain bike club from scratch, which was surprisingly easy to do with Facebook.

Linda_Norway

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Re: Building up a network of friends after FIRE
« Reply #7 on: March 10, 2017, 12:14:03 AM »
What is the best way to do this? And what are your experiences?

We moved to a notoriously challenging area to get socially connected back 2010. It was definitely harder than any previous place I've lived to make some friends. We ended up having success through our sporting activities. We joined clubs where they existed and actually started a mountain bike club from scratch, which was surprisingly easy to do with Facebook.

This sounds like a good plan. We currently also have a lot of contacts through 2 sports clubs that we join(ed).

I am currently working on becoming a mushroom expert. I could imagine organizing guided picking tours, which are currently popular. We also brew beer and could give course in brewing. Or even start the occasional café, but that last thing is probably bounded by too many rules.

One of the challenges is that we are foreigners. If we would move to another part of the country (outside Oslo region) where everyone speaks exactly the same dialect, we would even more obviously not be "one of them". And then being (semi) retired as well...
But especially in small places, there are lots of yearly events, like bazaars, theatre, sports events, etc and I guess it would help to volunteer at those events. Everybody appreciates volunteers.
« Last Edit: March 21, 2017, 07:20:04 AM by Linda_Norway »

CowboyAndIndian

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Re: Building up a network of friends after FIRE
« Reply #8 on: March 10, 2017, 06:36:58 AM »
...
One of the challenges is that we are foreigners. If we would move to another part of the country (outside Oslo region) where everyone speaks exactly the same dialect, we would even more obviously not be "one of them". And then being (semi) retired as well...
...

I am facing similar issues. I am of Indian origin, but have live most of my  adult life in the US.  I will plan to move from the North east US (New Jersey) to St. Pete in Florida. The NE is very cosmopolitan and I do not feel I stand out. Wondering how it will be in Florida. I do believe that St. Pete is very open minded, but will need to live there for a year or so to make a determination.

Thankfully, American English is pretty similar except for some minor accent and terminology.

Retire-Canada

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Re: Building up a network of friends after FIRE
« Reply #9 on: March 10, 2017, 07:47:25 AM »
What made the effort worthwhile for us was the fact we really really liked the place we moved to and it has characteristics [geography, climate, economy] that we couldn't replicate anywhere else in Canada so that really helped motivate us to find a way to make it work. Neither of us wanted to move anywhere else in Canada and we didn't agree on anywhere to move outside of Canada so we worked hard to figure out the situation.

So if you anticipate challenges where you are considering moving to make sure you have a solid set of reasons to be there that would be enough reason to deal with the challenges compared to your other options for places to live.

soccerluvof4

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Re: Building up a network of friends after FIRE
« Reply #10 on: March 21, 2017, 06:27:16 AM »
I'm not going to lie this has been the hardest part/thing for me. My days are pretty busy between exercise, cooking chores etc... and nights chasing kids or needing time to chill. I find myself bitching I would like to do more with friends like dinner once every two weeks or something but then someone asks and we always say no coz were tired..
" In life you don't get what you deserve you get what you negotiate"