Biggest surprise/best advice Post-FIRE

[Will]

(Sorry if there is a thread like this already.  I didn't see one.)

It looks like I will be post-FIRE in June, and I have been trying to read up and make sure I know as much as possible before then.

My question(s) for those of you who are Post-FIRE:  what has been the biggest surprise since you did it?  What were you not really prepared for?  What is your best advice for those of us who are within months of being post-FIRE?

TIA!

[Cassie]

Even though our work related costs went down our fun and travel costs went way up because we now had the time and energy to do things.  Obviously we look for deals on things that we like to do.

[Financial Ascensionist]

Eight months in, I can't think of any surprise to report.  I made a plan, triple checked the numbers, pulled the plug, then everything pretty much fell in line with what I was expecting.  Here is a checklist that should help you during your last few months: https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/post-fire/pre-fire-checklist/ .  Seriously, it can really be that easy.

[kei te pai]

My biggest surprise was my own lack of regret or even interest at the end of my career. I thought my identity was quite attached to my profession, but actually it wasnt/isnt. Its over, a new life has begun, and I am very happy.

[Will]

My biggest surprise was my own lack of regret or even interest at the end of my career. I thought my identity was quite attached to my profession, but actually it wasnt/isnt. Its over, a new life has begun, and I am very happy.

I am already finding it very difficult to go in to work.

[Mr. Green]

Despite my strong dislike of work (would take off as much as I could most years) I was not prepared for all the change that came as a result of divorcing myself from that part of my identity. It'll be two years in June since I first walked away and I'm still not 100% in the post-FIRE world. After years of being laser focused on building up savings with the driving force behind my life being to reach this magical point, it's become very difficult for me to shift from the accumulation of wealth mindset to the draw down mindset. I hope the transition will come easy for you but be prepared to have A LOT of patience with yourself.

[Woodshark]

Two big surprises for us.

1. We are not spending NEAR what I thought we would on everyday living and/or travel.  We still do one big and several small trips a year but since we have retired, we're just happy to "be-here-now" wherever that may be, if that makes sense. A combo of loving life outside of work and the realization that more $$ spent does not equal more enjoyment naturally keeps our expenses down.

2. We both had professionally rewarding careers. One in education. One in more of a creative field. After almost 30 years of working you would think you would miss it.
 We. Do. Not. Miss. It. At. All. 

[Moustachienne]

I enjoyed my career and co-workers and thought I'd stay connected to some extent through professional listservs and associations.  I still get email announcements about conferences and hot topics but was surprised to find that I was very quickly Not. Interested.  Not even a bit!  I wish everyone well but my mind and time are filled with other things now and I don't have the bandwidth to care about anything from my former profession. I unsubscribed from almost every list and think I will let my professional association membership lapse at renewal time.  How much and how quickly I moved on really surprised me.

I was also surprised to find how much I've enjoyed reconnecting with already retired colleagues and how little I'm interested in meeting up with still working colleagues.  I like members of both groups equally as individuals but enjoy hearing what the retirees are up to much more than the latest workplace issue or drama.  The retirees have  a much broader spectrum of interests!

[markbike528CBX]

I enjoyed my career and co-workers and thought I'd stay connected to some extent through professional listservs and associations.  I still get email announcements about conferences and hot topics but was surprised to find that I was very quickly Not. Interested.  Not even a bit!  I wish everyone well but my mind and time are filled with other things now and I don't have the bandwidth to care about anything from my former profession. I unsubscribed from almost every list and think I will let my professional association membership lapse at renewal time.  How much and how quickly I moved on really surprised me.

I was also surprised to find how much I've enjoyed reconnecting with already retired colleagues and how little I'm interested in meeting up with still working colleagues.  I like members of both groups equally as individuals but enjoy hearing what the retirees are up to much more than the latest workplace issue or drama.  The retirees have  a much broader spectrum of interests!

Yup, I had thought I'd be more interested in taking short jobs from my previous employer, but nope.
One year in and even in the dreary months, a nice warm bed outweighs any faint interest in work.

[Parizade]

I got a sinus infection (viral) shortly after my FIRE date. Although this was a sh**ty way to start FIRE it was sooooooo nice to be able to just go to bed and rest without that subconscious anxiety of falling behind at work. OMG, the luxury of putting self-care FIRST on my list of priorities. I was able to recover very quickly and start having fun, but I won't forget that revelation.

[FIRE 20/20]

...
2. We both had professionally rewarding careers. One in education. One in more of a creative field. After almost 30 years of working you would think you would miss it.
 We. Do. Not. Miss. It. At. All.

^This.  I was extremely involved in my career, and after leaving I am shocked at how little I think about it and how little I care.

The other thing for me was that I don't know how I had time to go to work.  I often get to the end of the day and find that I wasn't able to get everything done that I wanted to do.  Some of it's chores like cleaning and cooking, but mostly it's things I want to do like reading.  There just aren't enough hours in the day. 

[Fishindude]

1.5 Years into retirement.   After 40 years of nose to the grindstone 50-70 hour weeks and my entire life pretty much focused on my business, it's amazing how little I give a damn about that kind of stuff and anything business related anymore.   

Frequently run into some of the folks I worked with that are still in the grind and they still want to talk about all this work related crap over beers, etc.   I just grin, drink my beer and be thankful to be out of it and dealing with mostly fun things and stuff I "want" to do.

[MonkeyJenga]

I'm surprised by how much I enjoy identifying plants on my hikes. Wanting to eat free food without being poisoned is a strong motivator.

I thought I would keep coding and learning a new language or two. My interest held for maybe a month after I left work. Now I have things to do outside, and naps to take, and people to meet, and ehhhh sitting on my laptop debugging semicolons is not appealing at all.

I'm also surprised by how vehemently I do not want to go back to work. Like, ever. Not even a part-time job. I assumed I would be taking a 1-year break before going back to my last job for another year. Then I thought maybe I'd do different, less stressful work, in order to donate money to the cause instead, and to make friends. But now, seeing how much happier and healthier I am away from that last job, and how much my investments swing without me doing anything, I would rather donate money without earning more. I may need to work again for health insurance if things change in the US, but until then, I'm not working. When I do, I will be very protective of my time.

[FIRE 20/20]

I'm also surprised by how vehemently I do not want to go back to work. Like, ever. Not even a part-time job. I assumed I would be taking a 1-year break before going back to my last job for another year. Then I thought maybe I'd do different, less stressful work, in order to donate money to the cause instead, and to make friends. But now, seeing how much happier and healthier I am away from that last job, and how much my investments swing without me doing anything, I would rather donate money without earning more. I may need to work again for health insurance if things change in the US, but until then, I'm not working. When I do, I will be very protective of my time.

Yes!  This too. 

[EricL]

The biggest surprise I found was how many of my emotional burdens stayed the same after becoming FIRE'd.  Yes, there was an initial rush of euphoria.  But afterwards much of the anger, depression, sadness, etc. I used to blame on my work place dramas returned.  My reaction: "WTF??!!  I thought I left you fuckers at the office!"  But no.  They came back.  I wound up blaming a whole host of shit for those feelings that really didn't have much or anything to do with them at all.  Usually political events and such (Trump: The Great Enabler). 

Fortunately, being FIRE'd means I have a lot more time to really examine where those feelings come from and deal with them in healthier ways than just sucking it up and driving on. 

[happy]

I was surprised how hard  the transition was emotionally, in spite of being so, so ready. Leaving an environment where I had some good friends, was on top of my game left a hole, and going from a fortnightly fat pay check into the abyss of not personally earning money was anxiety provoking.

A series of things happened just after I left work, and I found myself spending time dealing with STUFF, not relaxing and doing my imagining retired life, for over 6 months. Of course it was great I wasn't working and could take things on properly but it wasn't how I imagined it would be.

[DaMa]

I had planned on doing some part-time work, like substitute teaching, after taking off 6 months.  I thought I'd want to do SOMETHING.  Turns out, I don't.  I'm either busy doing other things, or I'm perfectly fine binge watching TV or reading all day.

[Trudie]

When I was first done (and my husband was still working FT), I really enjoyed a part-time seasonal job at a greenhouse/plant nursery.  Now that he's done I realize I have no desire to work.  I'm even reluctant to take on volunteer tasks that require me to take a regular shift. I'm opting to do some volunteer stuff where I can set my own hours and still have the latitude to travel.

I'm surprised at how many naps I take and books I read.  I'm surprised at how I have an easier time getting outside of myself and considering the plights of others.  (I feel more patient and compassionate, whether it's when I'm waiting in line at the bank or being more empathetic with my husband.)

We just relocated from a small college town to a larger university town of about 65,000 people.  This has played a major role in my happiness and sense of well-being.  There are new vistas to explore, new people to meet, much better city services (low cost -- great for fire), and so many more ways to engage and get active in the community.  I think I didn't realize how isolated I felt in our prior living situation, but now I do and I'm thrilled we took the leap.

[Basenji]

Some weeks you will rearrange everything in the house, Marie Kondo your stuff, plant a garden, take long walks, volunteer, visit family, and cook amazing meals from scratch. Some weeks you will forget to shower and watch every Primitive Technology and Vet Ranch video on YouTube while eating white cheddar Cheetos and sour cream. It's all good.

[Ladychips]

Some weeks you will rearrange everything in the house, Marie Kondo your stuff, plant a garden, take long walks, volunteer, visit family, and cook amazing meals from scratch. Some weeks you will forget to shower and watch every Primitive Technology and Vet Ranch video on YouTube while eating white cheddar Cheetos and sour cream. It's all good.

This life sounds like heaven...

[Firehazard]

My biggest surprise was what it actually felt like to not be stressed out about anything.  It's something I hadn't felt since probably my very early childhood. 

It took a few months after leaving my FT job to fully decompress and be able to sleep soundly at night and wake up feeling rested after many years of insomnia. 

Since I still work PT for my old company, for months I still felt I had to rush all my work to completion, even stay up late to get it all done early, just in case some 'emergency' got dumped on me when I would normally be working on something time-sensitive.  I swear, I think it was a mild form of PTSD! 

Now I'm realizing that there are no more emergencies coming my way, I am free to work at a comfortable pace, and there's nothing nicer than opening my company e-mail only to find little or nothing that requires any action on my part.  Sometimes when I'm out hiking with my dog in the morning, or doing a little leisurely shopping in the afternoon on a weekday I think about how I would be feeling at that moment if I were still in my old job.  Not being in it anymore is like a deep breath of fresh air on a  beautiful spring day.  I am so grateful to be free.

[TartanTallulah]

For me, early retirement was a pretext for ejecting from an intolerable work situation that I knew could not be solved simply by moving to a comparable role in a different organisation. I've been very surprised to fall straight into a freelance position that allows me to do the enjoyable parts of my own job in manageable chunks.

On non-working days, I'm surprised how quickly time passes without me doing very much.

[seattleite]

I'm gaining weight because I spent so much time around food. Either experimental cooking or making food for my kids. And I guess I don't walk as much as I did while I worked.

[soccerluvof4]

About 4.5 years in for me and I think because I owned my own business though I dont miss at all the business I went through a transition of missing the "Leadership" of people I guess.

I also went through some boredom periods but after about a year +/- in I started to figure things out and now I have things pretty much where i want them and even do occasional side gigs for cash.  But allow yourself if needed to adjust

[Rosy]

Some weeks you will rearrange everything in the house, Marie Kondo your stuff, plant a garden, take long walks, volunteer, visit family, and cook amazing meals from scratch. Some weeks you will forget to shower and watch every Primitive Technology and Vet Ranch video on YouTube while eating white cheddar Cheetos and sour cream. It's all good.

This ^^^ - it's all good:). Insert random binge Netflix days munching on chocolate truffles, nuts, fruit, ice cream and it fits.

I alternate between tackling projects that usually take two or three months of very hard work, including my big garden - which allows my laser focus and OCD to be stroked - to doing absolutely nothing while I laze about in the garden sipping coffee-tea-wine.

I have so many ever-changing interests to pursue that it feels good when I step back and do nothing at all for a while. After a period of rest and re-charging I'm off to work on the next project. It is the way I've always operated - immerse myself in a project, then move on, only this time I have the luxury of taking a restorative break in between.

I thought I might want to travel more, but I've traveled a great deal in my life and other than the two-month bucket list trip to Europe last summer I'm not all that interested. Especially since I am still waiting for Mr. R. to retire.
... and yeah, there is never enough time to read all the books I want to read or learn all I wish to know.

Google-wiki truly is your friend and u-tube is helpful for projects when it doesn't suck you into the void of trailer thrash mind-numbing rants:). I was horrified to realize I spent four hours viewing junk, WTF? Now I've learned to quit 3-5 minutes in, instead of wasting my time.

[Basenji]

Rosy, Charles Dowding. Charles Dowding, Rosy.

[Will]

Wow, nice to see all the responses here.  I guess one of my biggest surprises is how I stopped coming by MMM and the forums.

[EndlessJourney]

I guess one of my biggest surprises is how I stopped coming by MMM and the forums.

Yeah, me too.

I think MMM is basically a support group for the run-up to FIRE.

After FIRE, there's a myriad of things to do with your time and energy, like travel, music, art, literature, gardening, etc. I find myself spending more time on forums and groups dedicated to these pursuits rather than the accumulation/management of a stache.

[PhilB]

My biggest surprise was discovering that many of the symptoms I had been ascribing to side effects of my leukaemia meds were actually side effects of having a stressful, sedentary job.
My biggest advice would be that you need to make sure you get up off your ass and do stuff some days, but give yourself permission not to on others.

[nancyfrank232]

When I FIREd at a young age, I wasn’t able to socialize with family and friends as much as I expected

Friends were too busy working and raising kids. And hanging out with my family was only tolerable in short doses

Second, travelling got boring. Every city basically looks the same after awhile. As did the hotels/resorts/homes/etc

Third, the hobbies that others suggested for me, such as gardening, hiking, learning an instrument, art, sitting in a lecture, learning a language, literature, etc didn’t suit me. I wouldn’t do those things even if I was paid so there was no way I would do it during my free time

Last surprise is that boredom for me was real. 16 hours a day, 7 days a week is a lot of time to fill

http://www.early-retirement.org/forums/f26/hello-from-canada-99808.html

Find something that you like doing, and more importantly, something that you can do for many hours per day, every day

People are right - the grass isn’t always greener

[EndlessJourney]

Last surprise is that boredom for me was real. 16 hours a day, 7 days a week is a lot of time to fill

http://www.early-retirement.org/forums/f26/hello-from-canada-99808.html

Find something that you like doing, and more importantly, something that you can do for many hours per day, every day

People are right - the grass isn’t always greener

Wow, I read your thread above. Your experiences are so foreign to me, but it shows how people can be wired very differently from each other.

It drives home a couple of good points:

- have something to FIRE towards, not just FIREing away from a stressful, unenjoyable job.
- and also, maybe, the accumulation and management of assets and net worth can be a worthwhile pursuit in itself, and FIRE can be a mirage for some.

I read about an old lady who died whom everybody thought she was poor because she lived such an austere life. Turned out she died with millions of dollars worth of stocks in her name. Who's to say she didn't enjoy her life watching the assets stockpile? Just because you enjoy accumulating wealth, doesn't make that interest any less noble than people pursuing travel, arts, literature, etc.

Maybe FIRE just entails finding a less stressful, more enjoyable job to keep on growing your net worth. For some people, a job gives them structure, purpose, self-esteem and social contact. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

I think folks need to really examine what makes them happy and be honest with themselves, before they chase after what everybody else tells them will make them happy.

[nancyfrank232]

I think folks need to really examine what makes them happy and be honest with themselves, before they chase after what everybody else tells them will make them happy.

+1
Well said!

[smoghat]

My biggest surprise was my own lack of regret or even interest at the end of my career. I thought my identity was quite attached to my profession, but actually it wasnt/isnt. Its over, a new life has begun, and I am very happy.

Very much so. Also I am still crazy busy, mainly with home renovations, and I haven’t lost any weight although my blood pressure has dropped by 10-15 points on both ranges (after meds which haven’t changed).

[SecondCareerist]

You'd think after 30 years in a high school classroom, I would be joyous at the lack of papers to grade and ability to wake up well past when my first class would have started. However, I found myself sad, depressed, and feeling disconnected. After one year of being retired, I accepted a job at a small independent school and am thrilled to be back in a classroom. With my new salary, I will be able to invest in real estate while continuing to live on my already established retirement income. Perhaps after a few more years of teaching I will finally be able to retire without feeling so disconnected.

[EscapedApe]

Reading these responses is giving good perspective on what to expect, for those of us who haven't yet reached FIRE status. Definitely need to line up projects and begin working on them NOW so that the transition into FIRE is seamless.

Thanks for your input everyone.

[SwissMiss]

FIREd since October 2018. Best decision ever.

1. We have more money than when we FIREd, despite extensive travelling (3 months in Spain, 4 months in Florida, 3 months in South Africa).
2. We are never, ever bored.
3. We like to structure our days (gym in the morning, other stuff in the afternoon, socializing in the evening).
4. People around us think we are working full-time on our own financial consulting business. This has proven to be very useful (no jealousy, no demands on our time).

The freedom is priceless.

[Evgenia]

As others have said:

We. Do. Not. Miss. Work. At. All. We cannot imagine going back and don't know how we ever did it, ha ha.

We were surprised at how much better our BODIES felt. This was the biggest one. We had all sorts of aches and pains, etc. that vanished within a couple of months of achieving FIRE and sleeping a lot. Of all the things we planned, we did not plan or expect to FEEL better with no additional effort.

Another surprise is that I don't exercise more. I had planned to do that and it hasn't happened, yet.

[Cassie]

I have been working part time teaching and consulting for the past 7 years because I got bored with full retirement.

[Will]

I have been working part time teaching and consulting for the past 7 years because I got bored with full retirement.

If I ever get bored with full retirement (which I doubt, because I don't see how being retired can be boring), I am 100% certain I can find something more entertaining to do than work!

[nancyfrank232]

If I ever get bored with full retirement (which I doubt, because I don't see how being retired can be boring), I am 100% certain I can find something more entertaining to do than work!

Once I became FI, nothing is work and everything is a hobby. And some hobbies happen to pay me $

[Abe Froman]

Posting to follow.

[SachaFiscal]

When I was working, I thought that if I just had enough time and mental space, I could accomplish things that I had been putting off (e.g. learning a new instrument). When I left my job, I found that I wasn't as self motivated as I thought I would be.  It seems that I need to be accountable to someone to accomplish things. So I ended up spending more money on classes and lessons.  My husband is still working so we're not actually fully FIRE yet, I'm just testing the waters before he takes the plunge. So we have some flexibility money-wise to change our final yearly spending amount before he retires.  Also we're trying to finish up any work we want done on the house and our international travel goals before he retires as these are probably the most expensive things we'll do and we don't want to have to fund them in retirement.  When he retires, we're planning on mostly traveling domestically which will be a lot cheaper.

[BTDretire]

Some weeks you will rearrange everything in the house, Marie Kondo your stuff, plant a garden, take long walks, volunteer, visit family, and cook amazing meals from scratch. Some weeks you will forget to shower and watch every Primitive Technology and Vet Ranch video on YouTube while eating white cheddar Cheetos and sour cream. It's all good.

 And then you might spend a day binge watching "The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel" I just watched 5 episodes,
I thought I would anticipate the last 3 over night and watch tomorrow!

[EndlessJourney]

When I was working, I thought that if I just had enough time and mental space, I could accomplish things that I had been putting off (e.g. learning a new instrument). When I left my job, I found that I wasn't as self motivated as I thought I would be.  It seems that I need to be accountable to someone to accomplish things. So I ended up spending more money on classes and lessons.

There are ways you can motivate yourself to stick to your hobbies that are cheap and enjoyable.

For music, you can join a band, find one on Craigslist or perhaps at a church, they're always open and accommodating to players of all skills. If you are into composing, you can find someone to collaborate with online by swapping music files.

For language, there are coffee meet-ups where you can find a non-native language speaker who wants to practice English, then you in turn can also practice the language you are learning. You can learn new vocabulary, brush up on your grammar and also make a new friend in the process.

Hobbies are always more fun and motivational when you add in a social component to them. Doing them in isolation is a recipe for boredom and eventual abandonment.

[Dicey]

Some weeks you will rearrange everything in the house, Marie Kondo your stuff, plant a garden, take long walks, volunteer, visit family, and cook amazing meals from scratch. Some weeks you will forget to shower and watch every Primitive Technology and Vet Ranch video on YouTube while eating white cheddar Cheetos and sour cream. It's all good.

 And then you might spend a day binge watching "The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel" I just watched 5 episodes,
I thought I would anticipate the last 3 over night and watch tomorrow!

Or "Grace and Frankie", which I am enjoying immensely. How is this other "MMM" I keep hearing about? Does it live up to the hype?

[Will]

Some weeks you will rearrange everything in the house, Marie Kondo your stuff, plant a garden, take long walks, volunteer, visit family, and cook amazing meals from scratch. Some weeks you will forget to shower and watch every Primitive Technology and Vet Ranch video on YouTube while eating white cheddar Cheetos and sour cream. It's all good.

 And then you might spend a day binge watching "The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel" I just watched 5 episodes,
I thought I would anticipate the last 3 over night and watch tomorrow!

Or "Grace and Frankie", which I am enjoying immensely. How is this other "MMM" I keep hearing about? Does it live up to the hype?

I enjoyed it quite a bit.  It is one you watch to see what happens next, and you do care about the characters.  The first season was better than the second, but both were good.

[arebelspy]

Since this seems to be asking for more cautionary/things to be wary of, I'll tilt that way with some thoughts.

- Post-FIRE has a lot less meaning than I'd have hoped. (Note: that doesn't mean it isn't the right move anyways.)

- Life is considerably more difficult. Going to a job every day is easy, in retrospect.

- You'll wish you had done it sooner.

[Linea_Norway]

Since this seems to be asking for more cautionary/things to be wary of, I'll tilt that way with some thoughts.

- Post-FIRE has a lot less meaning than I'd have hoped. (Note: that doesn't mean it isn't the right move anyways.)

- Life is considerably more difficult. Going to a job every day is easy, in retrospect.

- You'll wish you had done it sooner.

@arebelspy Why is life more difficult? Because you feel you need to do something fun and need to make plans all the time?

[arebelspy]

- Life is considerably more difficult. Going to a job every day is easy, in retrospect.

@arebelspy Why is life more difficult?

In comparison to working.

When working, five days a week is pretty easy. You wake up, go do your job, go home. Repeat.

That structure doesn't exist after.

Yes, having kids does make life a lot more difficult as well. :)

[PhilB]

- Life is considerably more difficult. Going to a job every day is easy, in retrospect.

@arebelspy Why is life more difficult?

In comparison to working.

When working, five days a week is pretty easy. You wake up, go do your job, go home. Repeat.

That structure doesn't exist after.

Yes, having kids does make life a lot more difficult as well. :)

Just wait until the kids are all in school.  You won't be complaining about a lack of structure then!