Author Topic: Another "you're too young to retire" comment  (Read 14446 times)

Gunny

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Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« on: February 16, 2017, 06:42:57 AM »
I do some sub teaching at a local elementary school as a "paying hobby."  Yesterday one of the teachers asked if I was working on getting teaching creds.  When I told her I was retired and didn't want a full time gig she responded shockingly that I was too young to retire.  Thinking she meant that I had more years to offer to society, I reminded her that I mentor and coach kids as a way to "give back".  However, as the discussion continued over lunch I realized that she was envious that I was retired and several years younger than her. As I began to explain how I got here through frugal lifestyle and high savings rate over the last several years, her eyes glossed over and she lost interest.  I guess some people just don't get it. 

jim555

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #1 on: February 16, 2017, 06:48:59 AM »
They convince themselves that being a wage slave is "virtuous" and they are "helping society".  Self righteous self delusion.

MoreTimeToRide

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #2 on: February 16, 2017, 09:16:27 AM »
I have only encountered the "you're too young to retire" comment once.  I responded, "Oh, how old do you have to be?"  It didn't go any further than that.

I suspect many people don't really think about retirement at all until they are ready to BE retired.  That someone else retires and doesn't fit their definition of "old enough" messes with their subconscious view of the universe.

Rusty_me

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #3 on: February 16, 2017, 09:29:42 AM »
Problem with society thinking retirement is an age instead of being a number. Everyone just assumes you have to work to the traditional "retirement age".

Rusty_me

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #4 on: February 16, 2017, 09:39:26 AM »
When I reach RE I think I'm gonna stick with "I do personal finance and investing" to avoid some of the awkward conversations.

prognastat

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #5 on: February 16, 2017, 09:45:12 AM »
When I reach RE I think I'm gonna stick with "I do personal finance and investing" to avoid some of the awkward conversations.

Pretty much my plan for anyone outside of direct family or if someone happens to bring up whether I am retire or FI and sounds like they are open to hearing more. If it isn't brought up directly and/or someone doesn't seem all that open to having their beliefs about it challenged I would just say I'm in personal finance. They don't need to know I'm only managing my own money. So it isn't an outright lie, but it is said expecting them to assume something else. However I believe this little "white misdirection" is the better option, because most people do not want to have the beliefs here challenged and will feel attacked simply by you showing something they could do but haven't is possible.

aFrugalFather

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #6 on: February 16, 2017, 09:51:43 AM »
I'm always surprised at the number of people on this forum who can't help but tell people they are retired.  If you look young, then you know exactly the kind of conversation that is going to ensue when you mention the R-word to a normal person... and yet you do it anyway.  Maybe folks enjoy having these awkward, humble-brag-y conversations??   :)

I agree, it does seem plenty humble-brag-y to me too.  If you are at a MMM meeting sure, but out among the regular working folk, I don't think people appreciate having their faced rubbed in it.  Also again, if you are speaking with a co-worker then are you really retired?  Retirement is a hot button for many folk, which is why I prefer financial independence generally, but only among MMM company.  Always pays to think how it makes other people feel that want to retire but for some reason or another, cannot. 

Rusty_me

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #7 on: February 16, 2017, 10:05:36 AM »
I think depending on how it is discussed it can come across as braggy, but sometimes we feel we found on of the secrets to life and want to help others achieve the same thing...even if they don't always seem interested.

Spork

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #8 on: February 16, 2017, 10:18:50 AM »
I'm always surprised at the number of people on this forum who can't help but tell people they are retired.  If you look young, then you know exactly the kind of conversation that is going to ensue when you mention the R-word to a normal person... and yet you do it anyway.  Maybe folks enjoy having these awkward, humble-brag-y conversations??   :)

It's not like you walk up to strangers, extend your hand and say "I'm retired!"

It's an honest answer to an honest question.  "What do you do?"

I could lie.  I could be evasive.  Or I could just answer what they ask.  I choose the latter.  If they react negatively -- meh -- who cares. 
Some will sell their dreams for small desires
Or lose the race to rats
Get caught in ticking traps
And start to dream of somewhere
To relax their restless flight

jim555

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #9 on: February 16, 2017, 10:27:56 AM »
I'm always surprised at the number of people on this forum who can't help but tell people they are retired.  If you look young, then you know exactly the kind of conversation that is going to ensue when you mention the R-word to a normal person... and yet you do it anyway.  Maybe folks enjoy having these awkward, humble-brag-y conversations??   :)

It's not like you walk up to strangers, extend your hand and say "I'm retired!"

It's an honest answer to an honest question.  "What do you do?"

I could lie.  I could be evasive.  Or I could just answer what they ask.  I choose the latter.  If they react negatively -- meh -- who cares.
+1

radram

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #10 on: February 16, 2017, 10:34:25 AM »
I'm always surprised at the number of people on this forum who can't help but tell people they are retired.  If you look young, then you know exactly the kind of conversation that is going to ensue when you mention the R-word to a normal person... and yet you do it anyway.  Maybe folks enjoy having these awkward, humble-brag-y conversations??   :)

I often avoid it. I must admit one time I did say I was retired, just to get the very reaction you are thinking of. The woman has always been a bit of a strange-to-me kind of person. I disagreed with almost everything I have ever heard her say. Typical late-in-life, angry at the world, everyone is against me, I can't get ahead kind of person. Never an enjoyable conversation with her. I didn't see her much, because she is a close friend of an aunt I do not spent a lot of time with, but as a child I got to know all I wanted to know about her.

I saw her about 6 months ago for the first time in about 20 years. In 5 minutes I could tell she hadn't changed a bit.

About 2 weeks ago, I saw her at the grocery store in the middle of the day. She said "so do you have the day off?" I just responded, no.. I'm retired. JAW MET FLOOR! For the first time ever, I saw her and she was not talking some nonsense. She could not say a word, and just sort of stared out in space for a while.

She spent her entire life trying to keep up with my Aunt and Uncle, and you could tell she was physically unable to even comprehend what I just told her.

An unbelievably fantastic moment. I am smiling now just thinking about it :) <------ see   

Secretly Saving

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #11 on: February 16, 2017, 10:38:36 AM »
I think depending on how it is discussed it can come across as braggy, but sometimes we feel we found on of the secrets to life and want to help others achieve the same thing...even if they don't always seem interested.


I think this is key.  Delivery of the information matters - it can be bragging or it can be helping someone else have the same success that you did.  I definitely want the people I care about to know that they don't have to be stuck in the rat race.

Financial.Velociraptor

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #12 on: February 16, 2017, 12:38:35 PM »
I'm always surprised at the number of people on this forum who can't help but tell people they are retired.  If you look young, then you know exactly the kind of conversation that is going to ensue when you mention the R-word to a normal person... and yet you do it anyway.  Maybe folks enjoy having these awkward, humble-brag-y conversations??   :)

I told people "retired" at first but now say "I'm a trader".  And "I work from home".  It's just easier to avoid the confrontations.
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PathtoFIRE

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #13 on: February 16, 2017, 12:49:33 PM »
I've still got about 7 years to formulate my plan for how to answer that question, but I've been leaning towards doing the "I tell people that I'm a # but if you really want to know, ask me again some other time" and then steer the conversation elsewhere (# being something vague, like wealth manager, or stock fund trader, or something suggestive of financial that could describe my monthly spreadsheet updates and yearly rebalancing). Maybe it's just me and my personality, but I know that if someone said that to me, I would be very intrigued and primed to learn something new and interesting the next time I asked. I figure this would weed out those who are ready to learn, and everyone else will do what they were going to probably do anyway and that's basically ignore what was actually said in order to make their next great pronouncement or thought or opinion that the rest of us just need to hear.

flyingaway

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #14 on: February 16, 2017, 04:21:18 PM »
Maybe that is just a complimentary remark.

WSUCoug1994

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #15 on: February 16, 2017, 06:32:07 PM »
Gawd I can't wait for this "problem" to happen to me.

Daisy

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #16 on: February 16, 2017, 07:16:11 PM »
A good reply to this would be "You're too old to be working", but that would be mean and nasty and insulting to the person that told you you were too young to be retired. Maybe not a response to verbalize but internalize and smile to yourself.

Gunny

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #17 on: February 16, 2017, 07:47:51 PM »
I've been found out.  I walk around just hoping someone will ask so I can "brag" about being retired.  Yep, that's what I do.

BeginnerStache

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #18 on: February 17, 2017, 09:48:32 AM »
I don't see the point in avoiding telling people you are retired. Who cars what they think. Aren't admittedly many of us here motivated by seeing others retiring early? It's not all that different in actual human interaction. Might help motivate someone else who otherwise is thinking, like most of society, that you need millions to retire and will probably drop dead before then.

Heck my co-workers know I am calling it quits soon and a couple have been motivated to up their savings.

RyanAtTanagra

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #19 on: February 17, 2017, 11:26:34 AM »
A good reply to this would be "You're too old to be working", but that would be mean and nasty and insulting to the person that told you you were too young to be retired.

Lol, thanks, I'm saving that one in case I get an overly snide 'you're too young to retire'.

Hargrove

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #20 on: February 17, 2017, 08:26:05 PM »
I think it's perfectly reasonable for people to have cultural expectations. I also think some of those expectations will be stupid, but that doesn't make "having a culture" stupid.

I think it's perfectly reasonable for people to be surprized, in a society so bad at retiring young, at our retiring young. It just would be better if more were aware of it.

If you took a hang-glider to work and mentioned it casually in conversation, and the person reacted as if you were lying or withholding a crazy/amazing story... well... that... would totally make sense.

Like hang-gliding to work, it's a little dishonest to respond to retiring at 35 with "what? I made good decisions," as if the listener should obviously know what you're talking about. It's not like any part of our compulsory education teaches this stuff. If you dye your hair blue and really enjoy it, great! If you dye your hair blue and can't wait to give someone shit for finding it strange, that's... kinda... lame.

soccerluvof4

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #21 on: February 20, 2017, 07:19:46 AM »
When I reach RE I think I'm gonna stick with "I do personal finance and investing" to avoid some of the awkward conversations.






This is what I say. Most people don't even understand that when I say personal I mean my own. I will say every year I get it less and less. Amazing the difference between just 50 and 52.
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Cezilous

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #22 on: February 24, 2017, 10:36:05 AM »
Gawd I can't wait for this "problem" to happen to me.

Me too!

esskay1000

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #23 on: February 25, 2017, 04:50:19 PM »
( told the neighbors I work from home and/or on call with very flexible hours so they don't bug me all the time)

I plan on going part time soon as an 'experiment' and possibly fully FIREing if my tastebuds like the freedom too much - and this is EXACTLY what I have lined up to tell my neighbors etc. Lots of nosy-pants folks around here. I like them enough, but I'm also a private person.

HBFI

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #24 on: February 26, 2017, 12:28:04 PM »
I have only encountered the "you're too young to retire" comment once.  I responded, "Oh, how old do you have to be?"  It didn't go any further than that.


Haha love this one!  I'm still a few years out, but like others I'll probably give some vague statement about "managing investments" which is technically true for anyone that has investments.  Since most people don't want to ever discuss investing, I'm anticipating having plenty of opportunity to change the topic of conversation.  Probably avoid the "retire" word given the negative connotation it typically causes when associated with someone in their 30's.

Dicey

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #25 on: February 27, 2017, 07:23:33 AM »
I've been found out.  I walk around just hoping someone will ask so I can "brag" about being retired.  Yep, that's what I do.
Lemme guess - you hang around in grocery stores during working hours?
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Mr. Green

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Re: Another &quot;you're too young to retire&quot; comment
« Reply #26 on: February 27, 2017, 07:42:31 AM »
My dad always said he was "semi-retired." Seemed like an easy way to express that he wasn't doing nothing in retirement, but whatever he was doing was entirely elective.

mjdh1957

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #27 on: February 27, 2017, 12:22:43 PM »
I'm 59 and retired a couple of years but look young for my age. Usually people get a bit of a shock when I say I'm retired but that's their issue not mine.

StockBeard

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #28 on: February 28, 2017, 03:00:11 PM »
I'm always surprised at the number of people on this forum who can't help but tell people they are retired.  If you look young, then you know exactly the kind of conversation that is going to ensue when you mention the R-word to a normal person... and yet you do it anyway.  Maybe folks enjoy having these awkward, humble-brag-y conversations??   :)
Come on. Half of the reason to FIRE is to rub it in people's face! ;)

CargoBiker

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #29 on: February 28, 2017, 03:10:52 PM »
Come on. Half of the reason to FIRE is to rub it in people's face! ;)

To each his own.  I prefer to keep my business to myself.  Others generally prefer that as well.

StockBeard

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #30 on: February 28, 2017, 03:12:20 PM »
To each his own.  I prefer to keep my business to myself.  Others generally prefer that as well.
I was hoping the smiley at the end of my sentence made it clear I was joking

CargoBiker

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #31 on: February 28, 2017, 03:14:37 PM »
To each his own.  I prefer to keep my business to myself.  Others generally prefer that as well.
I was hoping the smiley at the end of my sentence made it clear I was joking

Damnit.  I missed the winky face.   ;)

trashmanz

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #32 on: February 28, 2017, 03:27:26 PM »
I've been found out.  I walk around just hoping someone will ask so I can "brag" about being retired.  Yep, that's what I do.

So she did ask you if you were retired?  Because you say "Yesterday one of the teachers asked if I was working on getting teaching creds."  Which to me does not prompt a discussion on FI or retirement.  This question could well be answered, "not interested in getting my credential because I like subbing".  Seems a leap to tell a co-worker who is seemingly not retired that you are retired when that is not the question asked.  Thats akin to answering the question: oh what are you doing this weekend? with: "Oh I'm flying the Cessna up to my lake cabin", vs. "I'm going swimming."  You just gotta think how it makes people feel sometimes, thats just being considerate. 
« Last Edit: February 28, 2017, 03:30:10 PM by trashmanz »

Mr. Green

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #33 on: February 28, 2017, 03:56:54 PM »
Thats akin to answering the question: oh what are you doing this weekend? with: "Oh I'm flying the Cessna up to my lake cabin", vs. "I'm going swimming."  You just gotta think how it makes people feel sometimes, thats just being considerate.
I see this as everyone else's problem, not my own. You're essentially asking someone to filter everything they say, removing specificity based on a prejudice of what might offend someone or make them feel bad. For one, I couldn't possibly know the economic situation of the person I'm talking to so how do I make the decision on how much detail to omit? Plus, for all I know the co-worker could have an interest in planes and we could end up having a really awesome conversation. But instead I missed that experience because I was worried about making my co-worker feel bad about the fact that I have a Cessna? That's just another form of mental enslavement.

trashmanz

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #34 on: February 28, 2017, 06:52:06 PM »
One persons mental enslavement is another persons polite etiquette.  Its all in where you draw the line.  Not farting in someones face must be considered bodily gas enslavement.  Also don't want to enslave any mucous when you sneeze, let it fly, freedom for all! 

Personally I don't find it any more mentally taxing than remembering to keep my mouth closed when I eat or not drool on myself, but I am willing to acknowledge that not everyone may be as mentally well endowed as myself and such things can be difficult to grasp. 
« Last Edit: February 28, 2017, 07:12:04 PM by trashmanz »

BlueHouse

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #35 on: February 28, 2017, 07:12:33 PM »
Thats akin to answering the question: oh what are you doing this weekend? with: "Oh I'm flying the Cessna up to my lake cabin", vs. "I'm going swimming."  You just gotta think how it makes people feel sometimes, thats just being considerate.
No it's not and implying it is is unfair to the OP.  Saying you're retired is not rubbing anyone's face in anything.  If the OP said "I'm don't want to get my teaching credentials because I have so much money I don't need to earn any more ever in this lifetime", that would be one thing, but that's not the case.  trashmanz, you read way too much into the statement, IMHO and no one should be made to feel badly because they saved enough money and lived frugally enough to live their dreams earlier than others. 
Sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand

trashmanz

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #36 on: February 28, 2017, 08:03:03 PM »
Thats akin to answering the question: oh what are you doing this weekend? with: "Oh I'm flying the Cessna up to my lake cabin", vs. "I'm going swimming."  You just gotta think how it makes people feel sometimes, thats just being considerate.
No it's not and implying it is is unfair to the OP.  Saying you're retired is not rubbing anyone's face in anything.  If the OP said "I'm don't want to get my teaching credentials because I have so much money I don't need to earn any more ever in this lifetime", that would be one thing, but that's not the case.  trashmanz, you read way too much into the statement, IMHO and no one should be made to feel badly because they saved enough money and lived frugally enough to live their dreams earlier than others.

"I'm don't want to get my teaching credentials because I have so much money I don't need to earn any more ever in this lifetime"  That is actually what retirement means to many if not most people. 

My comment was only to address the insinuation that the coworker asked OP if they were retired (or even prompted the discussion), when according to the original post, they did not ask OP whether they were retired, merely if they were going to get credentialed.  Furthermore, this isn't a passing conversation in a coffee shop or a MMM gathering, this is presumably from the context, a coworker.  I don't think I'm unique thinking it untoward to initiate a FIRE conversation with a coworker that did not specifically ask to discuss finances.
« Last Edit: February 28, 2017, 08:08:08 PM by trashmanz »

Mr. Green

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #37 on: February 28, 2017, 08:20:20 PM »
One persons mental enslavement is another persons polite etiquette.  Its all in where you draw the line.  Not farting in someones face must be considered bodily gas enslavement.  Also don't want to enslave any mucous when you sneeze, let it fly, freedom for all! 

Personally I don't find it any more mentally taxing than remembering to keep my mouth closed when I eat or not drool on myself, but I am willing to acknowledge that not everyone may be as mentally well endowed as myself and such things can be difficult to grasp.
I am definitely less mentally endowed because I just can't make the leap in logic, comparing an unsolicited fart in the face to responding to another person's question with a societally standard level of detail. Just because the person doesn't like the answer does not make it impolite. If a lady was wearing a blue dress and she asked my how I liked it and I said it's nice, my favorite color is blue, am I being impolite because her favorite color is red and she dislikes it if other people have different favorite colors? I don't get it. It seems I have no recourse but to remain oblivious and happy.

trashmanz

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #38 on: February 28, 2017, 09:40:25 PM »
One persons mental enslavement is another persons polite etiquette.  Its all in where you draw the line.  Not farting in someones face must be considered bodily gas enslavement.  Also don't want to enslave any mucous when you sneeze, let it fly, freedom for all! 

Personally I don't find it any more mentally taxing than remembering to keep my mouth closed when I eat or not drool on myself, but I am willing to acknowledge that not everyone may be as mentally well endowed as myself and such things can be difficult to grasp.
agreed but you can be polite and respectful in your response to those kinds of questions as I felt the OP was. Politely stating a fact is not akin to rubbing someones face in it.

To me, context is key, is it polite to state a fact to a question not asked?  Maybe its just me, but if I asked someone if they are working on getting a teachers credential and they answered that they were retired, I'd think, yeah but WTF does that have to do with my question which is left unanswered.  Seems presumptuous to assume someone would only get a credential because they need money and could not retire.  Am I the only one that can see how it could be perceived by a coworker?

I *personally* don't see a coworker asking "are you working on getting teaching creds" as a logical segue into discussion of personal finance/FI status. 

I *personally* think it uncouth to inject discussions of wealth/status into conversations with coworkers when not specifically asked, but it seems at least a few of you are more free in exposing your financial well being in this regard and see any personal restraint on waiving the retirement flag as a personal affront to your civil liberties. 

Also, yes I think stating a fact can definitely be stated to rub someones face it in.  For example, in one extreme: "Would you like a ride to the train station?"  -> "No thanks, I have a brand new Tesla with wonderful heated leather seats and a high end sound system, so I will drive myself."  I don't see how whether something is in fact true has any bearing on politeness?

« Last Edit: February 28, 2017, 09:59:23 PM by trashmanz »

Mr. Green

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #39 on: March 01, 2017, 05:51:59 AM »
We don't know exactly what was said. I would see the following as a totally normal response.

"Are you getting your teaching credentials?"
"No, I'm retired and I just enjoy being a substitute teacher."

In that context, saying one is retired is simply part of the answer to the next question the co-worker is likely going to ask if the response is simply "no" and that is "Why?" I feel like it's pretty normal in conversation to try and provide enough data that our awesome brains can make leaps over standard questions. Instead of A->B->C->D->E, we're smart enough to know typical conversation patterns so we respond in a manner that allows someone to skip questions because the answer has already been provided. So they only have to ask A->C->E. In general, limiting a response to a question where the obvious next question is why tends to convey unfriendliness.

"Are you getting your teaching credentials?"
"No."

That response would make me think my co-worker doesn't want to talk to me. And if he said it while displaying a friendly and open demeanor it would be confusing because that's not how we tend to interact with each other.

Of course all of this depends on what was actually said, which we don't really know.

Mr. Green

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #40 on: March 01, 2017, 06:08:55 AM »
To give another example, if I saw Michael Phelps in college at age 28 and asked him curiously why he was there in his late 20s (assuming I didn't know who he was) and his response was that he was an Olympian so he had been focused on swimming for the last ten years, I would not take his response as an affront to my own physical prowess, or any lack thereof. It's simply an answer that provides data. If he aggrandized his answer it's different.

"How come you're in college in your late 20's?"
"Well, I won 6 gold medals in Athens in '04, 8 gold medals in Beijing in '08, 4 gold medals in London in '12, and 5 more golds in Rio in '16. I did a bunch of commercials and stuff in between so I didn't have time."

That's aggrandizing. Your Tesla comment is more in line with aggrandizing than it is providing a data point. Simply saying "retired" is not aggrandizing. It doesn't give any details as to what exactly that is for you but it provides typical data that would allow the other person in the conversation to make leaps to other questions, rather than having to pull each detail out of you with it's own question.

Mr Mark

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #41 on: March 01, 2017, 06:12:31 AM »
It shows how culturally we are absent the whole concept that we don't really have a word for this. Retire to me is not the right word because (perhaps this is my intrinsic cultural bias) it speaks of 65+ living on some kind of pension.

I'd probably describe myself as an independent  business man. or maybe a consultant. But as I'm older it probably won't be a similarly jarring thing.

We need a new word for "relatively frugal badass person who's independently wealthy and I do pretty much whatever strikes my fancy as something I want to do"

Maybe some other language has a word we can steal, which is what English normally does in such situations.
Mr. Mark

Gunny

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #42 on: March 01, 2017, 09:03:08 AM »
I'm certainly going to be a lot more selective on what I post on MMM in the future. 

Cookie78

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #43 on: March 01, 2017, 09:13:49 AM »
One persons mental enslavement is another persons polite etiquette.  Its all in where you draw the line.  Not farting in someones face must be considered bodily gas enslavement.  Also don't want to enslave any mucous when you sneeze, let it fly, freedom for all! 

Personally I don't find it any more mentally taxing than remembering to keep my mouth closed when I eat or not drool on myself, but I am willing to acknowledge that not everyone may be as mentally well endowed as myself and such things can be difficult to grasp.

Were you feeling too mentally taxed by the end of your sentence to not be condescending? Or does your mental strength with respect to polite etiquette and keeping your mouth closed not apply to insults as well?

jim555

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #44 on: March 01, 2017, 09:19:08 AM »
What is the big deal with being honest?  Making up stuff like I'm a trader, or I work from home simply isn't true.  I am retired is a true statement.  I don't go around bragging about it.

Gunny

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #45 on: March 01, 2017, 09:47:45 AM »
To me, context is key, is it polite to state a fact to a question not asked?  Maybe its just me, but if I asked someone if they are working on getting a teachers credential and they answered that they were retired, I'd think, yeah but WTF does that have to do with my question which is left unanswered.  Seems presumptuous to assume someone would only get a credential because they need money and could not retire.  Am I the only one that can see how it could be perceived by a coworker?

I *personally* don't see a coworker asking "are you working on getting teaching creds" as a logical segue into discussion of personal finance/FI status. 

I *personally* think it uncouth to inject discussions of wealth/status into conversations with coworkers when not specifically asked, but it seems at least a few of you are more free in exposing your financial well being in this regard and see any personal restraint on waiving the retirement flag as a personal affront to your civil liberties. 

Also, yes I think stating a fact can definitely be stated to rub someones face it in.  For example, in one extreme: "Would you like a ride to the train station?"  -> "No thanks, I have a brand new Tesla with wonderful heated leather seats and a high end sound system, so I will drive myself."  I don't see how whether something is in fact true has any bearing on politeness?


Trashmanz, I thought about writing a rebuttal but then thought why should I.  You are way off base.  I don't need to brag or rub anyone's face into anything.  Not my style. 
« Last Edit: March 01, 2017, 09:49:50 AM by Gunny »

benjenn

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #46 on: March 01, 2017, 10:10:34 AM »
What is the big deal with being honest?  Making up stuff like I'm a trader, or I work from home simply isn't true.  I am retired is a true statement.  I don't go around bragging about it.

I agree 100%.  We retired at 51 and 52 and when someone asks us what we do, that's what we tell them because it's the truth.  We're not bragging about it but we are damned happy about it and smile when we tell people.  :)
FIREd and loving it on the beautiful Gulf coast beaches!

Eric

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #47 on: March 01, 2017, 10:25:19 AM »
We need a new word for "relatively frugal badass person who's independently wealthy and I do pretty much whatever strikes my fancy as something I want to do"

There's a perfect word for this that already exists: RETIRED.
"Compound interest is the most powerful force in the universe."  -- Einstein

trashmanz

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #48 on: March 01, 2017, 10:28:53 AM »
What is the big deal with being honest?  Making up stuff like I'm a trader, or I work from home simply isn't true.  I am retired is a true statement.  I don't go around bragging about it.

Sure, if a specific question is asked it isn't bragging.  Q: What do you do? A: I am retired  VS.  Q: Hello coworker, what time is it?  A:Oh I'm retired, I don't need a watch.  Notice both are "true" and "factual" statements yet to me one is more asshat than the other. 

Not sure how more simply to explain the difference between answering a question asked vs. tangentially bringing in a humble brag in a work situation.  Maybe it is just too subtle for people to follow, but I don't know how else to more succinctly phrase it. 
« Last Edit: March 01, 2017, 10:31:25 AM by trashmanz »

trashmanz

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Re: Another "you're too young to retire" comment
« Reply #49 on: March 01, 2017, 10:32:50 AM »
One persons mental enslavement is another persons polite etiquette.  Its all in where you draw the line.  Not farting in someones face must be considered bodily gas enslavement.  Also don't want to enslave any mucous when you sneeze, let it fly, freedom for all! 

Personally I don't find it any more mentally taxing than remembering to keep my mouth closed when I eat or not drool on myself, but I am willing to acknowledge that not everyone may be as mentally well endowed as myself and such things can be difficult to grasp.

Were you feeling too mentally taxed by the end of your sentence to not be condescending? Or does your mental strength with respect to polite etiquette and keeping your mouth closed not apply to insults as well?

Yes, my apologies, I did get a bit carried away there.