We qualified for the Groupon class-action settlement class in 2015, but I wrote the claim administrators to exclude us from the settlement so we could preserve the right to pursue our own lawsuit. We sent them a letter that proposed the following Mustachian alternative:
"...Therefore, I am proposing that new Groupon CEO, Rich Williams, take my wife and me out to the restaurant of our choice in our city of Nashville, TN. We’re flexible about the date and time, and we promise to pick a moderately-priced restaurant, stick to domestic beer (and probably only one or two, as my wife doesn’t drink), and split a dessert. We would also like Mr. Williams to publicly acknowledge in the forum of his choosing that while dinners out, massages, and the latest designer fashions can all be very nice things, they can’t by themselves bring us happiness or give us lasting relief from the pain of human existence that we all feel so often throughout our lives. In exchange for the dinner and public acknowledgement, I agree to release Groupon and the other defendants from all liability in the matter of the expired Groupon vouchers and give up any future claims for compensation in this case or in any future litigation related to the same events."
As of the time of this posting, Groupon has yet to reply.