Words/phrases I wish would go away

[iris lily]

The phrase bugging me most this week is “call to conference” which is an archaic seeming phrase used by an organization to which I belong. They’re holding a November conference. The letter announcing this event is the “call to conference. “

Things like this make me cringe.

[BlueHouse]

I've had multiple people who I don't know well ask me where my child's hair color came from, since it's different than mine and my husband's. The first couple times I actually explained how that color runs in our families, but then I realized how rude this question really is.  Maybe they don't realize it's rude? Just stop already.

Can you explain to me why it's rude? I can imagine some reasons, but I'm so used to people asking this of me and my mom since we look identical except that she's olive with dark eyes and a full afro of thick dark curly hair, and I'm ultra fair, blue eyed, and have fine, strawberry blonde hair. It's never occured to me to find the question rude, so I'm genuinely curious.

I suppose I just don't know how to answer. Explain my family history?  Give them a genetics lesson? Say it was the milkman?

This is why:
https://www.opindia.com/2021/03/google-search-james-hewitt-prince-harry-real-father-charles-wales-princess-diana/

I'm the youngest child of 5.  The first 4 were born in a 3.5 year span.  then 2 years passed, then me.  My brothers and sisters were all towheads and I had dark blonde/light brown hair.  Anything anybody said to imply that there was anything different about me was extremely hurtful to me -- my entire life.  Now in middle age, I finally don't care.  But I can tell you from my experience, when anyone suggests that you're not part of the one thing in life where you should feel MOST secure, it's difficult. 

[Metalcat]

I've had multiple people who I don't know well ask me where my child's hair color came from, since it's different than mine and my husband's. The first couple times I actually explained how that color runs in our families, but then I realized how rude this question really is.  Maybe they don't realize it's rude? Just stop already.

Can you explain to me why it's rude? I can imagine some reasons, but I'm so used to people asking this of me and my mom since we look identical except that she's olive with dark eyes and a full afro of thick dark curly hair, and I'm ultra fair, blue eyed, and have fine, strawberry blonde hair. It's never occured to me to find the question rude, so I'm genuinely curious.

I suppose I just don't know how to answer. Explain my family history?  Give them a genetics lesson? Say it was the milkman?

This is why:
https://www.opindia.com/2021/03/google-search-james-hewitt-prince-harry-real-father-charles-wales-princess-diana/

I'm the youngest child of 5.  The first 4 were born in a 3.5 year span.  then 2 years passed, then me.  My brothers and sisters were all towheads and I had dark blonde/light brown hair.  Anything anybody said to imply that there was anything different about me was extremely hurtful to me -- my entire life.  Now in middle age, I finally don't care.  But I can tell you from my experience, when anyone suggests that you're not part of the one thing in life where you should feel MOST secure, it's difficult.

Maybe it never bothered me because I'm one of 5 siblings and we all have different sets of parents through the many marriages along the way. So none of us look alike. One brother and I have the same colouring, but we look so incredibly different that people are shocked when they find out we're at all related.

Also, despite having totally different colouring and hair texture from my mom, we're so freakishly identical otherwise that people who have never met me, but who knew her at my age have been able to identify immediately who I am.

So comments on our different colouring were never taken as meaning that we don't look alike, because we do so much that it's stopped people in their tracks.

That's why it would never have occured to me to be an insensitive comment.

[Dicey]

I'm the oldest of six. Dark brown hair, blue eyes. The rest of the gang were green-eyed towheads. People would always ask why their sister looked "so different". Their blithe response was "She's adopted", which some folks readily believed. Except I look a lot like my dad. It was such a joy to stand out in the pack that I thought it was hilarious. My response was, "Whew, I'm so happy I'm not really related to you creeps."

My cousin and his wife are brunettes. Each of their children have a different shade of rich, red hair. Their paternal grandfather used to be known as "brick top". When #3 was very due, she took the older two on a nice long walk, hoping to get something moving. They encountered an older man who said, "What pretty little girls! They must look like their father." Ugh, what not to say to a nine-months-pregnant woman. It has, of course, become a running family joke.

I agree that such questions are merely conversation starters, the askers are not really interested in your family's genealogy.

[GreenSheep]

Is there an alternative use of "editorial" as an adjective that I'm unaware of? I read a blog post in which the writer used "editorial" three times to describe interior design for Halloween, as in, "That made the room look so scary and editorial." I looked it up in an online dictionary, and I don't see any definition that would fit that use. This particular writer has gotten a lot of things wrong in the past, so I'm inclined to think she's just misusing the word, but maybe I'm the one who's out of the loop!

[BlueHouse]

Is there an alternative use of "editorial" as an adjective that I'm unaware of? I read a blog post in which the writer used "editorial" three times to describe interior design for Halloween, as in, "That made the room look so scary and editorial." I looked it up in an online dictionary, and I don't see any definition that would fit that use. This particular writer has gotten a lot of things wrong in the past, so I'm inclined to think she's just misusing the word, but maybe I'm the one who's out of the loop!

I used to watch America's Next Top Model, and they described the looks of models as either "editorial" or "commercial".  Commercial meant they might make it in a Macy's catalog, while editorial meant Vogue or Cosmo.  So I'd assume the writer meant it as somehow edgy.  But I've never seen or heard it used that way either and it doesn't make much sense to me. 

[Metalcat]

Is there an alternative use of "editorial" as an adjective that I'm unaware of? I read a blog post in which the writer used "editorial" three times to describe interior design for Halloween, as in, "That made the room look so scary and editorial." I looked it up in an online dictionary, and I don't see any definition that would fit that use. This particular writer has gotten a lot of things wrong in the past, so I'm inclined to think she's just misusing the word, but maybe I'm the one who's out of the loop!

I used to watch America's Next Top Model, and they described the looks of models as either "editorial" or "commercial".  Commercial meant they might make it in a Macy's catalog, while editorial meant Vogue or Cosmo.  So I'd assume the writer meant it as somehow edgy.  But I've never seen or heard it used that way either and it doesn't make much sense to me.

Yeah, from what I understand, it basically means interior design that looks like it belongs in the pages of glossy magazines. So something that would be very heavily curated to fit an editorial esthetic.

So cute, homey Thanksgiving decorations would not be considered "editorial", but Kim Kardashian's pile of sickly-looking, grey painted pumpkins piled up by her stairs in her creepy empty house would have been "editorial" decor.

[slackmax]

Lean in and Lean into. I thought it was corpspeak that went away, but it has come back!

[MissNancyPryor]

I don't know how long the trend has gone on but it is really common now.  People have stopped saying simple words without using cutesy talk.   

Doggos instead of dogs
Kiddos instead of kids
Niblings for nieces and nephews
Younglings for younger co-workers

My theory is that everything has to be softened, coddled, cajoled, and sweetened so as not to offend and to signal that the speaker feels they have a special relationship with the subject that cannot be captured in plain English. 

I don't like having my linguistic meats cut up for me and this sort of pre-chewing gets annoying at times.

[youngwildandfree]

I don't know how long the trend has gone on but it is really common now.  People have stopped saying simple words without using cutesy talk.   

Doggos instead of dogs
Kiddos instead of kids
Niblings for nieces and nephews
Younglings for younger co-workers

My theory is that everything has to be softened, coddled, cajoled, and sweetened so as not to offend and to signal that the speaker feels they have a special relationship with the subject that cannot be captured in plain English. 

I don't like having my linguistic meats cut up for me and this sort of pre-chewing gets annoying at times.

Or...these words are just fun to say. :D

[merula]

I don't know how long the trend has gone on but it is really common now.  People have stopped saying simple words without using cutesy talk.   

Doggos instead of dogs
Kiddos instead of kids
Niblings for nieces and nephews
Younglings for younger co-workers

My theory is that everything has to be softened, coddled, cajoled, and sweetened so as not to offend and to signal that the speaker feels they have a special relationship with the subject that cannot be captured in plain English. 

I don't like having my linguistic meats cut up for me and this sort of pre-chewing gets annoying at times.

Niblings is so much shorter than "nieces and nephews", and also includes non-binary folks. My in-laws have three nephews and two nieces, but six niblings because one of my husband's cousins is non-binary.

And youngling is still below historical usage trends based on https://books.google.com/ngrams.

[MissNancyPryor]

The replies confirmed the theory.  Fun and not offensive. 

[iluvzbeach]

I am 51 years old and both my parents have called me kiddo for as long as I can remember.  Seems kind of funny at my age to be called that, but I don't complain.

[Metalcat]

I don't mind "kiddo" but I don't like "littles"

[RetiredAt63]

You are leaving out "kidlet".

I actually like "niblings" it covers everyone in one word.  Plus it has the advantage of being non-gendered.

[sui generis]

Agree that non gendered words are really useful. But also notice the "cutesy" tendency and hate it when I'm in those situations and feel pressured to reflect that language back. Blech.

[Dollar Slice]

I don't mind "kiddo" but I don't like "littles"

"Littles" also gets on my nerves, but I don't have kids so I figure it's a fair exchange. I don't have to put up with raising toddlers, they get to annoy me with the word "littles."

[nereo]

I rather like “littles” because it is an effective way of letting others know you are talking about small children. If someone just says “my children/niece/nephew/nibbling” that’s not much to know whether they are 5 or 15. A “little” is probably under the age of ~9.

Come to think of it, we have terms like newborn, infant, baby, toddler and the odd “big kid” to cover ages 0-5. But not much to describe 5-10 year olds, save their grade level (“kindergarteners”).

[Metalcat]

I rather like “littles” because it is an effective way of letting others know you are talking about small children. If someone just says “my children/niece/nephew/nibbling” that’s not much to know whether they are 5 or 15. A “little” is probably under the age of ~9.

Come to think of it, we have terms like newborn, infant, baby, toddler and the odd “big kid” to cover ages 0-5. But not much to describe 5-10 year olds, save their grade level (“kindergarteners”).

I don't like it because it was hugely popularized by ultra religious MLM moms. Also because it refers to a fetish where adults pretend to be children. This is popularly seen in "cam girls" who claim to have dissociative identity disorder and have an "alter" who is a child and then perform sex acts as that child.

So it just has too many wildly unpleasant associations for me and I cringe when I hear it.

[RetiredAt63]

I rather like “littles” because it is an effective way of letting others know you are talking about small children. If someone just says “my children/niece/nephew/nibbling” that’s not much to know whether they are 5 or 15. A “little” is probably under the age of ~9.

Come to think of it, we have terms like newborn, infant, baby, toddler and the odd “big kid” to cover ages 0-5. But not much to describe 5-10 year olds, save their grade level (“kindergarteners”).

I don't like it because it was hugely popularized by ultra religious MLM moms. Also because it refers to a fetish where adults pretend to be children. This is popularly seen in "cam girls" who claim to have dissociative identity disorder and have an "alter" who is a child and then perform sex acts as that child.

So it just has too many wildly unpleasant associations for me and I cringe when I hear it.

Ick.  Background is everything.  I had no objection to "littles" before but I sure do now.

Actually I had seen it used in fiction - for anyone familiar with Mercedes Lackey's Valdemar, the Holderkin used it and Talia's main job was to look after the littles.  Holderkin society was not something to be emulated.  Arrows of the Queen was published in 1987, so did Lackey's use of "littles" predate the modern usage?

Sorry, I know that is a tangent, but it is always interesting to see the intersection between "real life" and fiction.

[Morning Glory]

I rather like “littles” because it is an effective way of letting others know you are talking about small children. If someone just says “my children/niece/nephew/nibbling” that’s not much to know whether they are 5 or 15. A “little” is probably under the age of ~9.

Come to think of it, we have terms like newborn, infant, baby, toddler and the odd “big kid” to cover ages 0-5. But not much to describe 5-10 year olds, save their grade level (“kindergarteners”).

I don't like it because it was hugely popularized by ultra religious MLM moms. Also because it refers to a fetish where adults pretend to be children. This is popularly seen in "cam girls" who claim to have dissociative identity disorder and have an "alter" who is a child and then perform sex acts as that child.

So it just has too many wildly unpleasant associations for me and I cringe when I hear it.

Wow, I hadn't heard either of those references before.  " The Littles" was a children's book series about a family of tiny humans that live in the walls, so that's what I picture when I hear it.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Littles

By the way, it took 27 clicks to get to the "Philosophy" page from that link!!!!

[zolotiyeruki]

We use the term "littles" to refer to our younger children and distinguish them from our older kids, e.g. "Michael can watch the littles while Mom takes Elizabeth to the doctor."

[Dicey]

I don't know how long the trend has gone on but it is really common now.  People have stopped saying simple words without using cutesy talk.   

Doggos instead of dogs
Kiddos instead of kids
Niblings for nieces and nephews
Younglings for younger co-workers

My theory is that everything has to be softened, coddled, cajoled, and sweetened so as not to offend and to signal that the speaker feels they have a special relationship with the subject that cannot be captured in plain English. 

I don't like having my linguistic meats cut up for me and this sort of pre-chewing gets annoying at times.

The folks in the Land Down Under seem to shorten everything and I find it endlessly amusing. Sunnies, brekky, mozzies...I would bet the first two on your list are used there.

My cousin has a non-binary offspring, so I am hereby comandeering "niblings". I think it will be quite useful.

As to the last one, reason #859257 to savor the joys of FIRE...

[nereo]

Very sports-centric, but I hate the phrase “the winning goal/run/point” - mostly because I hate the underlying implications.

Example: it was Johnny who scored the game-winning goal in their 4-3 March

It’s always seemed weird that one point (out of many) is highlighted as the key score in what’s supposed to be a team (group) sport. It’s even weirder when the final score wasn’t particularly close but one player is still designated to have scored “the winning point”. Recently I heard sportscasters talk about the player who scored the game winning run in what was ultimately a 9-2 romp. Apparently runs 1 & 2 weren’t particularly important and runs 4-9 were just footnotes.

[dougules]

My cousin has a non-binary offspring, so I am hereby comandeering "niblings". I think it will be quite useful.

You already have a non-gendered word for your cousin's child, and that is "cousin."  Your cousin's children are also your cousins (once removed) and fortunately in English that's already a non-gendered word. 

[merula]

My cousin has a non-binary offspring, so I am hereby comandeering "niblings". I think it will be quite useful.

You already have a non-gendered word for your cousin's child, and that is "cousin."  Your cousin's children are also your cousins (once removed) and fortunately in English that's already a non-gendered word.

Perhaps Dicey has cause to refer to the niblings of their cousins, assuming that the parent of the nonbinary child has siblings. "Hey, good news, you can stop saying 'nieces and nephews and Alex, I have a new word for you".

[youngwildandfree]

My cousin has a non-binary offspring, so I am hereby comandeering "niblings". I think it will be quite useful.

You already have a non-gendered word for your cousin's child, and that is "cousin."  Your cousin's children are also your cousins (once removed) and fortunately in English that's already a non-gendered word.

Perhaps Dicey has cause to refer to the niblings of their cousins, assuming that the parent of the nonbinary child has siblings. "Hey, good news, you can stop saying 'nieces and nephews and Alex, I have a new word for you".

I also refer to my cousin's children as my nieces in some company. It is much simpler than saying "my cousin's children that I have a close connection with and see much more regularly than my other cousins" or some such nonsense.

[Jenny Wren]

My great-grandmother, an immigrant born in 1892, never referred to her great grandkids (and I assume the generations before us) as children, toddlers, or the like.  We were called wee-littles, lassie, laddie, or laddie-buck at any given time. (Never lassie-doe, though!) My granddad, her son in law, called us kiddies and kiddos, and the boys were sometimes referred to as boyo as well. My absolute favorite of his, that he only used when referring to us grandkids as a mix gendered group, was fidgets. As in -- "will you fidgets quit picking all my strawberries?!"

Niblings is new to me. Not sure how I feel about it, it sounds very close to Nibbler (from Futurama).

[Dicey]

My cousin has a non-binary offspring, so I am hereby comandeering "niblings". I think it will be quite useful.

You already have a non-gendered word for your cousin's child, and that is "cousin."  Your cousin's children are also your cousins (once removed) and fortunately in English that's already a non-gendered word.

Perhaps Dicey has cause to refer to the niblings of their cousins, assuming that the parent of the nonbinary child has siblings. "Hey, good news, you can stop saying 'nieces and nephews and Alex, I have a new word for you".

I also refer to my cousin's children as my nieces in some company. It is much simpler than saying "my cousin's children that I have a close connection with and see much more regularly than my other cousins" or some such nonsense.

Yup.

[dougules]

My cousin has a non-binary offspring, so I am hereby comandeering "niblings". I think it will be quite useful.

You already have a non-gendered word for your cousin's child, and that is "cousin."  Your cousin's children are also your cousins (once removed) and fortunately in English that's already a non-gendered word.

Perhaps Dicey has cause to refer to the niblings of their cousins, assuming that the parent of the nonbinary child has siblings. "Hey, good news, you can stop saying 'nieces and nephews and Alex, I have a new word for you".

I also refer to my cousin's children as my nieces in some company. It is much simpler than saying "my cousin's children that I have a close connection with and see much more regularly than my other cousins" or some such nonsense.

Yup.

I get it, but just going with the actual relationship, cousins, is the easiest way out of trying to navigate gendered terms if they're not actually the children of a sibling.   

[GreenSheep]

In speech and in writing: starting a question with the word "question." That's what the "question words" (who, what, when, where, why, how) are for... and the "?" when writing. (And in Spanish, it's even easier! You get an upside down question mark at the beginning of a written question AND a regular one at the end!) It always reminds me of that one annoying kid in my elementary school class who frequently shot his hand into the air and simultaneously yelled out, "I have a question!!!" (Right idea, not quite correct execution, but one can be forgiven when one is nine years old.)

Closely related: Interviewers who start with, "Let me ask you this..."

[DadJokes]

In speech and in writing: starting a question with the word "question." That's what the "question words" (who, what, when, where, why, how) are for... and the "?" when writing. (And in Spanish, it's even easier! You get an upside down question mark at the beginning of a written question AND a regular one at the end!) It always reminds me of that one annoying kid in my elementary school class who frequently shot his hand into the air and simultaneously yelled out, "I have a question!!!" (Right idea, not quite correct execution, but one can be forgiven when one is nine years old.)

Closely related: Interviewers who start with, "Let me ask you this..."

I think it's said to prepare the recipient for the upcoming question. I've often found that people don't pay very close attention most of the time and frequently need things repeated. However, if I say their name or let them know that a question is coming, they are more likely to actually listen.

Alternatively, maybe they really like the Office and just channeling their inner Dwight.

[Kris]

In speech and in writing: starting a question with the word "question." That's what the "question words" (who, what, when, where, why, how) are for... and the "?" when writing. (And in Spanish, it's even easier! You get an upside down question mark at the beginning of a written question AND a regular one at the end!) It always reminds me of that one annoying kid in my elementary school class who frequently shot his hand into the air and simultaneously yelled out, "I have a question!!!" (Right idea, not quite correct execution, but one can be forgiven when one is nine years old.)

Closely related: Interviewers who start with, "Let me ask you this..."

I think it's said to prepare the recipient for the upcoming question. I've often found that people don't pay very close attention most of the time and frequently need things repeated. However, if I say their name or let them know that a question is coming, they are more likely to actually listen.

Alternatively, maybe they really like the Office and just channeling their inner Dwight.

Plus, people use discourse markers (that's one of the terms for this) for lots of reasons, including to soften what is to come, to improve conversational flow, etc. etc. It's a common, human thing to do. People say they hate them, but I'd argue that if you had very many conversations with people who didn't use them at all, you would come away with the feeling that those people/conversations felt stilted, artificial, and off-putting.

[GreenSheep]

In speech and in writing: starting a question with the word "question." That's what the "question words" (who, what, when, where, why, how) are for... and the "?" when writing. (And in Spanish, it's even easier! You get an upside down question mark at the beginning of a written question AND a regular one at the end!) It always reminds me of that one annoying kid in my elementary school class who frequently shot his hand into the air and simultaneously yelled out, "I have a question!!!" (Right idea, not quite correct execution, but one can be forgiven when one is nine years old.)

Closely related: Interviewers who start with, "Let me ask you this..."

I think it's said to prepare the recipient for the upcoming question. I've often found that people don't pay very close attention most of the time and frequently need things repeated. However, if I say their name or let them know that a question is coming, they are more likely to actually listen.

Alternatively, maybe they really like the Office and just channeling their inner Dwight.

That seems insulting to a listener/reader who IS paying attention. I wouldn't want someone to assume I'm not listening or not reading carefully. I'm sorry you find yourself dealing with such rude people!

I really don't like it when people throw my name randomly into a conversation; I feel like I'm listening to a used car salesperson. It's fine if it's a group situation and they want me to know the question is directed at me, but when it's a one-on-one conversation, it just feels fake to me. Maybe the one time it seems nice is when you've just met someone, had a little conversation, and are going your separate ways... if they say, "Have a nice evening, Name!" then it lets me know they remembered my name, which is nice.

[GreenSheep]

In speech and in writing: starting a question with the word "question." That's what the "question words" (who, what, when, where, why, how) are for... and the "?" when writing. (And in Spanish, it's even easier! You get an upside down question mark at the beginning of a written question AND a regular one at the end!) It always reminds me of that one annoying kid in my elementary school class who frequently shot his hand into the air and simultaneously yelled out, "I have a question!!!" (Right idea, not quite correct execution, but one can be forgiven when one is nine years old.)

Closely related: Interviewers who start with, "Let me ask you this..."

I think it's said to prepare the recipient for the upcoming question. I've often found that people don't pay very close attention most of the time and frequently need things repeated. However, if I say their name or let them know that a question is coming, they are more likely to actually listen.

Alternatively, maybe they really like the Office and just channeling their inner Dwight.

Plus, people use discourse markers (that's one of the terms for this) for lots of reasons, including to soften what is to come, to improve conversational flow, etc. etc. It's a common, human thing to do. People say they hate them, but I'd argue that if you had very many conversations with people who didn't use them at all, you would come away with the feeling that those people/conversations felt stilted, artificial, and off-putting.

I think I see (part of?) your point, and things like "well" and "so" and "you know" only bother me when they're used excessively. I'm very aware that I say all of those things and more! I think something like "Question... How did you manage to retire so early?" bothers me because it seems more intentional than "Well, how did you manage to retire so early?" It also seems jarring to me. Alert! Alert! I'm about to ask you a question! Just in case you're too stupid to figure it out by the "how" and the change in voice at the end of the sentence! That, to me, seems stilted, artificial, and off-putting.

[Metalcat]

In speech and in writing: starting a question with the word "question." That's what the "question words" (who, what, when, where, why, how) are for... and the "?" when writing. (And in Spanish, it's even easier! You get an upside down question mark at the beginning of a written question AND a regular one at the end!) It always reminds me of that one annoying kid in my elementary school class who frequently shot his hand into the air and simultaneously yelled out, "I have a question!!!" (Right idea, not quite correct execution, but one can be forgiven when one is nine years old.)

Closely related: Interviewers who start with, "Let me ask you this..."

I think it's said to prepare the recipient for the upcoming question. I've often found that people don't pay very close attention most of the time and frequently need things repeated. However, if I say their name or let them know that a question is coming, they are more likely to actually listen.

Alternatively, maybe they really like the Office and just channeling their inner Dwight.

Plus, people use discourse markers (that's one of the terms for this) for lots of reasons, including to soften what is to come, to improve conversational flow, etc. etc. It's a common, human thing to do. People say they hate them, but I'd argue that if you had very many conversations with people who didn't use them at all, you would come away with the feeling that those people/conversations felt stilted, artificial, and off-putting.

Yes, I had to learn to introduce questions to staff members instead of just asking questions because they found the straight-to-the-point question hostile.

Once I added a friendly little "uh, question" with a raised finger, my questions were received as much more congenial.

So walking up to someone and saying "where did you put my case box?" doesn't go over nearly as well as "uh, question" pause "where did you put my case box?"

Apparently the first question formation sounds like an accusation, and the second sounds like a request for help.

[Kris]

In speech and in writing: starting a question with the word "question." That's what the "question words" (who, what, when, where, why, how) are for... and the "?" when writing. (And in Spanish, it's even easier! You get an upside down question mark at the beginning of a written question AND a regular one at the end!) It always reminds me of that one annoying kid in my elementary school class who frequently shot his hand into the air and simultaneously yelled out, "I have a question!!!" (Right idea, not quite correct execution, but one can be forgiven when one is nine years old.)

Closely related: Interviewers who start with, "Let me ask you this..."

I think it's said to prepare the recipient for the upcoming question. I've often found that people don't pay very close attention most of the time and frequently need things repeated. However, if I say their name or let them know that a question is coming, they are more likely to actually listen.

Alternatively, maybe they really like the Office and just channeling their inner Dwight.

Plus, people use discourse markers (that's one of the terms for this) for lots of reasons, including to soften what is to come, to improve conversational flow, etc. etc. It's a common, human thing to do. People say they hate them, but I'd argue that if you had very many conversations with people who didn't use them at all, you would come away with the feeling that those people/conversations felt stilted, artificial, and off-putting.

Yes, I had to learn to introduce questions to staff members instead of just asking questions because they found the straight-to-the-point question hostile.

Once I added a friendly little "uh, question" with a raised finger, my questions were received as much more congenial.

So walking up to someone and saying "where did you put my case box?" doesn't go over nearly as well as "uh, question" pause "where did you put my case box?"

Apparently the first question formation sounds like an accusation, and the second sounds like a request for help.

There ya go.

[shelivesthedream]

I see a lot of these conversational fillers, softeners or redirects as giving the person time to shift mental gears. Malcat's example is a perfect one - walking up to someone and immediately launching into a question is a bit startling if they're engaged in something else. Starting off with "Could I ask you a quick question?" lets them move from whatever-they-were-doing mode to answering-question mode. And the same thing often happens in the midst of a conversation - you want to change gears or topic or whatever. Obviously it's frustrating when they're used every second sentence, or when they "announce" a non-event, but they are useful.

I think most people who "hate" these socially functional words and noises do actually use them themselves, they just hate the ones that other people use (or ones which have very suddenly become fashionable - e.g. "So, like..." a little while ago) and are blind to their own verbal tics. Now that we have an older toddler, I have become excruciatingly aware of my own pet phrases and verbal tics because he has picked them up exactly and uses them liberally.

[GreenSheep]

I see a lot of these conversational fillers, softeners or redirects as giving the person time to shift mental gears. Malcat's example is a perfect one - walking up to someone and immediately launching into a question is a bit startling if they're engaged in something else. Starting off with "Could I ask you a quick question?" lets them move from whatever-they-were-doing mode to answering-question mode. And the same thing often happens in the midst of a conversation - you want to change gears or topic or whatever. Obviously it's frustrating when they're used every second sentence, or when they "announce" a non-event, but they are useful.

Yes, this makes perfect sense. I can see how blindsiding someone with a question that could seem accusatory could cause problems. Somehow a phrase like, "I wonder..." or "I'm confused about something..." or even "Could you explain this to me?" followed by a question seems more natural and flows better than just, "Question!" ... even though I realize those are all technically unnecessary, too. Tone and body language help a lot, too, when trying to avoid sounding like an interrogator.

[BlueHouse]

In speech and in writing: starting a question with the word "question." That's what the "question words" (who, what, when, where, why, how) are for... and the "?" when writing. (And in Spanish, it's even easier! You get an upside down question mark at the beginning of a written question AND a regular one at the end!) It always reminds me of that one annoying kid in my elementary school class who frequently shot his hand into the air and simultaneously yelled out, "I have a question!!!" (Right idea, not quite correct execution, but one can be forgiven when one is nine years old.)

Closely related: Interviewers who start with, "Let me ask you this..."

I think it's said to prepare the recipient for the upcoming question. I've often found that people don't pay very close attention most of the time and frequently need things repeated. However, if I say their name or let them know that a question is coming, they are more likely to actually listen.

Alternatively, maybe they really like the Office and just channeling their inner Dwight.

Plus, people use discourse markers (that's one of the terms for this) for lots of reasons, including to soften what is to come, to improve conversational flow, etc. etc. It's a common, human thing to do. People say they hate them, but I'd argue that if you had very many conversations with people who didn't use them at all, you would come away with the feeling that those people/conversations felt stilted, artificial, and off-putting.

Also, in a male-dominated industry with a lot of loud men in a meeting, announcing "question" in the middle of an animated discussion somehow makes the men stop and listen and consider what I'm saying.  When I just move directly into my point or my question, they don't seem to stop talking over everyone else.  It may be that I'm willing to shout out "Question!" where if I shouted the entire question to be heard, I'd seem shrill.  But it has worked for me for years.

[slackmax]

The use of a noun as a verb. As in "Think of Blue Cross this year when you Medicare!" 

Is it supposed to be seen as clever or cute? I guess it's supposed to annoy you so remember Blue Cross.   

[GreenSheep]

The use of a noun as a verb. As in "Think of Blue Cross this year when you Medicare!" 

Is it supposed to be seen as clever or cute? I guess it's supposed to annoy you so remember Blue Cross.   

Yes! And the use of a verb as a noun, as in, "It's a big ask." We already have a perfectly good word for that! "Request" is only one syllable longer, and it will never get you in trouble because someone thought you said, "big ass."

Speaking of verbs and nouns, I wonder if the incessant screwing up of lay/lie has anything to do with wanting to avoid saying "lie" because it also means "an untruth," which sounds negative, even though in context, anyone with half a brain would be able to figure out that honesty has nothing to do with it when you say, "I'm tired, so I'm going to go lie down for a little while." Otherwise, I just don't understand why people have such trouble with lay/lie, but I suspect it's a self-perpetuating thing at this point because for native speakers, most grammar comes from, "Well, it just sounds right." (I mean, that's how I did my English homework. Thankfully it was almost always correct because I had been spoken to by proper English speakers at home, school, etc. French homework, on the other hand, required memorizing grammar rules because the only native French speaker I knew was my teacher.) So if you constantly hear everyone say something wrong, "wrong" starts to sound "right."

[MissNancyPryor]

Alright, I am cranky. 

I have just seen another headline that says something like:  "There might be more snow this year.  Here's why." 

or

"Turkey dinners will be handed out next week.  Here's what you need to know."

WTAF with all the "Here's" tags?  Constant.  Everywhere.  Such obvious trend-speak that adds nothing and has a cloying, head-patting quality to it that distracts me every time.  Gee, I would not have known that reading an article about something might include information about that thing!  HERE it is at last!

Lop off that stupid and unnecessary tag. 

End rant. 

[Dave1442397]

"It needs fixed". A co-worker uses this phrase all the time, and I want to yell "No! It needs to be fixed!".

Is it a midwestern thing? The people I've come across who say it that way have all been from Chicago or Wichita. They also say "acrost" instead of across.

[Kris]

"It needs fixed". A co-worker uses this phrase all the time, and I want to yell "No! It needs to be fixed!".

Is it a midwestern thing? The people I've come across who say it that way have all been from Chicago or Wichita. They also say "acrost" instead of across.

I have always hated that, too. I do believe it's a Midwestern thing. I've heard it all my life.

[Dicey]

"It needs fixed". A co-worker uses this phrase all the time, and I want to yell "No! It needs to be fixed!".

Is it a midwestern thing? The people I've come across who say it that way have all been from Chicago or Wichita. They also say "acrost" instead of across.

I have always hated that, too. I do believe it's a Midwestern thing. I've heard it all my life.

Ugh.

[RWD]

Alright, I am cranky. 

I have just seen another headline that says something like:  "There might be more snow this year.  Here's why." 

or

"Turkey dinners will be handed out next week.  Here's what you need to know."

WTAF with all the "Here's" tags?  Constant.  Everywhere.  Such obvious trend-speak that adds nothing and has a cloying, head-patting quality to it that distracts me every time.  Gee, I would not have known that reading an article about something might include information about that thing!  HERE it is at last!

Lop off that stupid and unnecessary tag. 

End rant.

Hear! Hear!

[MissNancyPryor]

Alright, I am cranky. 

I have just seen another headline that says something like:  "There might be more snow this year.  Here's why." 

or

"Turkey dinners will be handed out next week.  Here's what you need to know."

WTAF with all the "Here's" tags?  Constant.  Everywhere.  Such obvious trend-speak that adds nothing and has a cloying, head-patting quality to it that distracts me every time.  Gee, I would not have known that reading an article about something might include information about that thing!  HERE it is at last!

Lop off that stupid and unnecessary tag. 

End rant.

Hear! Hear!

Here! Here!

[Taran Wanderer]

Alright, I am cranky. 

I have just seen another headline that says something like:  "There might be more snow this year.  Here's why." 

or

"Turkey dinners will be handed out next week.  Here's what you need to know."

WTAF with all the "Here's" tags?  Constant.  Everywhere.  Such obvious trend-speak that adds nothing and has a cloying, head-patting quality to it that distracts me every time.  Gee, I would not have known that reading an article about something might include information about that thing!  HERE it is at last!

Lop off that stupid and unnecessary tag. 

End rant.

Hear! Hear!

Here! Here!

Um, check this out.  https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hear,_hear

[MissNancyPryor]

Alright, I am cranky. 

I have just seen another headline that says something like:  "There might be more snow this year.  Here's why." 

or

"Turkey dinners will be handed out next week.  Here's what you need to know."

WTAF with all the "Here's" tags?  Constant.  Everywhere.  Such obvious trend-speak that adds nothing and has a cloying, head-patting quality to it that distracts me every time.  Gee, I would not have known that reading an article about something might include information about that thing!  HERE it is at last!

Lop off that stupid and unnecessary tag. 

End rant.

Hear! Hear!

Here! Here!

Um, check this out.  https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hear,_hear

I was not attempting to police grammar. Here's why:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joke

:)