Author Topic: Women / girls with blue, red, green hair  (Read 9335 times)

Kris

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Re: Women / girls with blue, red, green hair
« Reply #100 on: July 07, 2018, 05:37:37 PM »
Ah, but that wasnít what the OP was about, was it? It was specifically about how awful women and girls look when they dye their hair crazy colors, and how baffling it is that they donít know better than to do such a thing.

Right, and I was totally on board with the responses until we started getting all of this man-hate.  You can defend a person's fashion choices without making this about the patriarchy.

M-hm. And point taken... except that the whole point of the first post, and thus the thread, was disapproving clucking by a man about how some women arenít conforming to his standards, and then speculating on their sexuality as a result of their not being physically pleasing to him.

I have no idea how that could have devolved into a discussion of patriarchy. /s

clutchy

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Re: Women / girls with blue, red, green hair
« Reply #101 on: July 07, 2018, 07:30:54 PM »
I see this all over.  Does it have some hidden meaning?  Is it LGB related?  Feminism?

Personally I think it looks hideous, especially on an older woman.  Young girls get a pass because they do weird stuff naturally.  Nose rings, tattoos, NOOOooo!

Maybe I am just getting old?  How come the music today sucks compared to the 70s, 80s and even the 90s?  Now get off the lawn!

I just assume they are cam girls.

MOD EDIT: Read the forum rules, please.
« Last Edit: July 09, 2018, 04:43:36 PM by arebelspy »

sol

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Re: Women / girls with blue, red, green hair
« Reply #102 on: July 07, 2018, 07:59:03 PM »
the whole point of the first post, and thus the thread, was disapproving clucking by a man about how some women arenít conforming to his standards, and then speculating on their sexuality as a result of their not being physically pleasing to him.

And that's gross, but you don't help improve things by insulting your allies.

The hardest thing about being a male feminist is the near constant barrage of bile spewed upon you by the same people you're trying to help, in addition to the people you're fighting against.  I know that it feels good to vent your anger, but it's deliberately hurtful.  Some of the comments we've seen here only further divide people.

Kris

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Re: Women / girls with blue, red, green hair
« Reply #103 on: July 07, 2018, 08:14:10 PM »
the whole point of the first post, and thus the thread, was disapproving clucking by a man about how some women arenít conforming to his standards, and then speculating on their sexuality as a result of their not being physically pleasing to him.

And that's gross, but you don't help improve things by insulting your allies.

The hardest thing about being a male feminist is the near constant barrage of bile spewed upon you by the same people you're trying to help, in addition to the people you're fighting against.  I know that it feels good to vent your anger, but it's deliberately hurtful.  Some of the comments we've seen here only further divide people.

#notallmen

Feel better now?

sol

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Re: Women / girls with blue, red, green hair
« Reply #104 on: July 07, 2018, 08:42:45 PM »
#notallmen

Feel better now?

Not really, no.

But this is clearly the wrong thread for these discussions.

Paul der Krake

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Re: Women / girls with blue, red, green hair
« Reply #105 on: July 07, 2018, 09:26:31 PM »
I think we're supposed to accept and cultivate invisibility past a certain age. So as not to offend the eye.
Story time: hiding lady parts after a certain age!

When I was a young lad in the 90s and early 00s, it was commonplace in my home country for women to sunbathe at the beach with their breasts hanging out. And by common, I mean easily 20-50% of women on the beach were topless at any given time. Young women, mothers, grandmothers, boobies in all shapes, sizes, and degrees of youth and attractiveness. The whole thing is in retrospect super weird for teenage boys discovering their hormones, but I digress.

And then, it just gradually but unmistakably went away. The only women still doing this today tend to be old ladies who are set in their ways and still have that 70s hippie fire.

So what happened there? The fight towards equality didn't go backwards over there, if anything it seems to be raging with even more passion than I remember. All indicators are on the upswing, so I don't think Sometimes, norms just change for no clear reason.

Also, #notallmen is incredibly offensive to those of us above median height.

Dabnasty

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Re: Women / girls with blue, red, green hair
« Reply #106 on: July 07, 2018, 10:06:19 PM »
Ah, but that wasnít what the OP was about, was it? It was specifically about how awful women and girls look when they dye their hair crazy colors, and how baffling it is that they donít know better than to do such a thing.

Right, and I was totally on board with the responses until we started getting all of this man-hate.  You can defend a person's fashion choices without making this about the patriarchy.

M-hm. And point taken... except that the whole point of the first post, and thus the thread, was disapproving clucking by a man about how some women arenít conforming to his standards, and then speculating on their sexuality as a result of their not being physically pleasing to him.

I have no idea how that could have devolved into a discussion of patriarchy. /s

Ok, but ask yourself - when a crotchety old man makes a comment like this do you really think he meant "I don't like it when women dye their hair unusual colors, but I'm perfectly ok with it when men do the same"?

Seems unlikely. I would assume that what he's really saying is "I don't like it when anyone dyes their hair unusual colors".

It's just that he's really only seen this trend with women, so that's why he asked the question the way he did. I for one can only think of two men I've seen with unusual hair colors over the last few years. Women on the other hand, I see this on a weekly basis. I barely notice it on women but if I see a guy with blue hair, that's gonna land in the memory bank. And it's not like that's on purpose, it just is.

fuzzy math

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Re: Women / girls with blue, red, green hair
« Reply #107 on: July 07, 2018, 10:40:35 PM »
#allfeministsmatter
the whole point of the first post, and thus the thread, was disapproving clucking by a man about how some women aren’t conforming to his standards, and then speculating on their sexuality as a result of their not being physically pleasing to him.

And that's gross, but you don't help improve things by insulting your allies.

The hardest thing about being a male feminist is the near constant barrage of bile spewed upon you by the same people you're trying to help, in addition to the people you're fighting against.  I know that it feels good to vent your anger, but it's deliberately hurtful.  Some of the comments we've seen here only further divide people.

#notallmen

Feel better now?

Sent from my H1623 using Tapatalk


Hargrove

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Re: Women / girls with blue, red, green hair
« Reply #108 on: July 08, 2018, 01:25:17 AM »
And that's gross, but you don't help improve things by insulting your allies.

The hardest thing about being a male feminist is the near constant barrage of bile spewed upon you by the same people you're trying to help, in addition to the people you're fighting against.  I know that it feels good to vent your anger, but it's deliberately hurtful.  Some of the comments we've seen here only further divide people.

Man, there's a lot of deep pain and old "barrages of bile" that have been felt for a lot of different reasons. Let's not be part-time volunteers complaining about workload. I've been called a "white knight" sarcastically - it's disappointing. Your point is accurate. But! The reactions you got are from a place of fear that once again, the underweighted is being underweighted. You can't convey that you understand someone's fear, as they dangle from the edge of a roof, if you begin a lecture on ladder safety before help arrives. The person hanging is just not going to believe you get the gravity of the situation. Pun intended.

This is obviously an excellent time to plug Hannah Gadsby's powerful Nanette, which is now on Nanetteflix.

Schmidty

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Re: Women / girls with blue, red, green hair
« Reply #109 on: July 08, 2018, 05:50:28 AM »
I don't mind different hair colors, some color jobs look great, others will look not so great, it just depends.

For me, I save a lot of money by not getting into hair color or body modifications or fashion and manicures and makeup and whatnot.  I am very, very low maintenance and going natural saves a ton of money.

This so much!!   

On the 4th I was at the usual family gathering, my 3 sis's were comparing the length of time spent at the stylists, the costs, what they all had done.  They asked me what color I used on mine, then couldn't believe it was natural.  Cut it myself, too.  Salon costs $0 for me.  Then it went on to pedicure's..   again, $0 for me, I do my own.  Then on to makeup.  I do use some, but sparingly and very little, so it lasts me forever.   Gees. the amount of money they all use, argh!!!   Not just the money, the time invested to get the looks they want at the salon, and daily doing themselves up..  who wants that?   

elliha

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Re: Women / girls with blue, red, green hair
« Reply #110 on: July 08, 2018, 07:56:20 AM »
I don't mind different hair colors, some color jobs look great, others will look not so great, it just depends.

For me, I save a lot of money by not getting into hair color or body modifications or fashion and manicures and makeup and whatnot.  I am very, very low maintenance and going natural saves a ton of money.

This so much!!   

On the 4th I was at the usual family gathering, my 3 sis's were comparing the length of time spent at the stylists, the costs, what they all had done.  They asked me what color I used on mine, then couldn't believe it was natural.  Cut it myself, too.  Salon costs $0 for me.  Then it went on to pedicure's..   again, $0 for me, I do my own.  Then on to makeup.  I do use some, but sparingly and very little, so it lasts me forever.   Gees. the amount of money they all use, argh!!!   Not just the money, the time invested to get the looks they want at the salon, and daily doing themselves up..  who wants that?

I don't get that either. Right now I have short hair and I choose to go to the hair dresser from time to time but I have the type of style that you can use a trimmer to fix the sides and make it last at least twice as long. I also chose to do high lights this spring and I will do them once more this fall before I either let them grow out or start doing them on my own (I have done so successfully in the past but I do prefer them done by a pro). This is unusually spendy being me. I usually have a very easy maintenance hair cut that I can either do twice a year at a salon or cut it myself. I wear no make up. I have never had a pedicure (I would do it if someone paid or I found one at a very reduced price). I have once had acrylic nails but found them too fragile and too expensive. I have once had a facial (I really liked this and I am actually thinking of cutting my clothes budget down to allow myself to have 2-3 a year).

jim555

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Re: Women / girls with blue, red, green hair
« Reply #111 on: July 08, 2018, 09:44:34 AM »
Ok, but ask yourself - when a crotchety old man makes a comment like this do you really think he meant "I don't like it when women dye their hair unusual colors, but I'm perfectly ok with it when men do the same"?

Seems unlikely. I would assume that what he's really saying is "I don't like it when anyone dyes their hair unusual colors".

It's just that he's really only seen this trend with women, so that's why he asked the question the way he did. I for one can only think of two men I've seen with unusual hair colors over the last few years. Women on the other hand, I see this on a weekly basis. I barely notice it on women but if I see a guy with blue hair, that's gonna land in the memory bank. And it's not like that's on purpose, it just is.
Don't even get me started on merman, grrr.

madgeylou

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Re: Women / girls with blue, red, green hair
« Reply #112 on: July 08, 2018, 01:19:44 PM »
the whole point of the first post, and thus the thread, was disapproving clucking by a man about how some women arenít conforming to his standards, and then speculating on their sexuality as a result of their not being physically pleasing to him.

And that's gross, but you don't help improve things by insulting your allies.

The hardest thing about being a male feminist is the near constant barrage of bile spewed upon you by the same people you're trying to help, in addition to the people you're fighting against.  I know that it feels good to vent your anger, but it's deliberately hurtful.  Some of the comments we've seen here only further divide people.

It's been my experience that even men who self-identify as feminists have everyday habits of thought and behavior that uphold the patriarchy ... including feeling like they are having a "near constant barrage of bile spewed upon you by the same people you're trying to help" and not getting at all that this pales in comparison to the systemic and inescapable sexist bullshit that's spewed upon women since the day we were born.

You've got to know your audience, sol. Coming into the middle of a thread of women defending themselves against a -- yes, very sexist -- statement and talking about how it hurts your feelings to not be properly appreciated (i.e., making it about you) is not going to be well received.

Making it all about you is an artifact of privilege. Much as it would be if I waded into a thread of black folks sharing their stories of microaggressions and started in on "but but but not all of us are like that! You should be nicer to your allies!" would be a classic example of clueless liberal racism.

When it's not about you, don't make it about you. The end.

fuzzy math

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Re: Women / girls with blue, red, green hair
« Reply #113 on: July 08, 2018, 01:32:01 PM »
the whole point of the first post, and thus the thread, was disapproving clucking by a man about how some women arenít conforming to his standards, and then speculating on their sexuality as a result of their not being physically pleasing to him.

And that's gross, but you don't help improve things by insulting your allies.

The hardest thing about being a male feminist is the near constant barrage of bile spewed upon you by the same people you're trying to help, in addition to the people you're fighting against.  I know that it feels good to vent your anger, but it's deliberately hurtful.  Some of the comments we've seen here only further divide people.

It's been my experience that even men who self-identify as feminists have everyday habits of thought and behavior that uphold the patriarchy ... including feeling like they are having a "near constant barrage of bile spewed upon you by the same people you're trying to help" and not getting at all that this pales in comparison to the systemic and inescapable sexist bullshit that's spewed upon women since the day we were born.

You've got to know your audience, sol. Coming into the middle of a thread of women defending themselves against a -- yes, very sexist -- statement and talking about how it hurts your feelings to not be properly appreciated (i.e., making it about you) is not going to be well received.

Making it all about you is an artifact of privilege. Much as it would be if I waded into a thread of black folks sharing their stories of microaggressions and started in on "but but but not all of us are like that! You should be nicer to your allies!" would be a classic example of clueless liberal racism.

When it's not about you, don't make it about you. The end.

I came back to say this in some form but you did it so eloquently. Thanks!

plainjane

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Re: Women / girls with blue, red, green hair
« Reply #114 on: July 08, 2018, 01:56:39 PM »
It's been my experience that even men who self-identify as feminists have everyday habits of thought and behavior that uphold the patriarchy ... 

I agree with Madgeylou above, and just want to add that even women who self-identify as feminists can have everyday habits of thought and behaviour that uphold the patriarchy and other forms of systemic privilege which we may or may not gain advantages from which we need to recognize and work on.

madgeylou

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Re: Women / girls with blue, red, green hair
« Reply #115 on: July 08, 2018, 01:59:30 PM »
It's been my experience that even men who self-identify as feminists have everyday habits of thought and behavior that uphold the patriarchy ... 

I agree with Madgeylou above, and just want to add that even women who self-identify as feminists can have everyday habits of thought and behaviour that uphold the patriarchy and other forms of systemic privilege which we may or may not gain advantages from which we need to recognize and work on.

So true! At the same time ... I am not at all interested in a man telling me about internalized misogyny (just as I'm sure a black person is not interested in white people talking to them about how they can get over their internalized racism, or a person in a wheelchair is not interested in an able-bodied person trying to educate them on ablism).

I call that privilege-splaining, and it is never a good look.

Also @fuzzy math thanks!
« Last Edit: July 08, 2018, 02:01:58 PM by madgeylou »

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Re: Women / girls with blue, red, green hair
« Reply #116 on: July 08, 2018, 02:14:13 PM »
I love colored hair.  And short hair. Basically anything non-traditional, I guess...I find it exceptionally attractive. Do a Google image search for Halsey or P!nk -- just...I don't have words. I love that look so much.



Short hair is especially pleasing to me  because none of it is long enough to eclipse any part of a woman's profile.

The flappers' wavy, short hair is my favorite.

The only style I don't like is VERY long hair.

Whenever  I see it   "witch" comes to mind.

plainjane

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Re: Women / girls with blue, red, green hair
« Reply #117 on: July 08, 2018, 02:34:42 PM »
So true! At the same time ... I am not at all interested in a man telling me about internalized misogyny (just as I'm sure a black person is not interested in white people talking to them about how they can get over their internalized racism, or a person in a wheelchair is not interested in an able-bodied person trying to educate them on ablism).

I call that privilege-splaining, and it is never a good look.

Yes. On a similar topic, a family friend from my childhood was closely associated with John Howard Griffin, and it has been very interesting for me as an adult to read reactions to his book & story with a more nuanced understanding.

madgeylou

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Re: Women / girls with blue, red, green hair
« Reply #118 on: July 08, 2018, 02:40:52 PM »
So true! At the same time ... I am not at all interested in a man telling me about internalized misogyny (just as I'm sure a black person is not interested in white people talking to them about how they can get over their internalized racism, or a person in a wheelchair is not interested in an able-bodied person trying to educate them on ablism).

I call that privilege-splaining, and it is never a good look.

Yes. On a similar topic, a family friend from my childhood was closely associated with John Howard Griffin, and it has been very interesting for me as an adult to read reactions to his book & story with a more nuanced understanding.

Interesting! I've never read Black Like Me but I guess 1961 was a very different world. Today, it seems best to let people of various disenfranchised groups speak for themselves and offer criticism within their own context.

Kyle Schuant

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Re: Women / girls with blue, red, green hair
« Reply #119 on: July 08, 2018, 07:22:01 PM »
Making it all about you is an artifact of privilege. Much as it would be if I waded into a thread of black folks sharing their stories of microaggressions and started in on "but but but not all of us are like that! You should be nicer to your allies!" would be a classic example of clueless liberal racism.

When it's not about you, don't make it about you. The end.
This is all very well and true, but the following things still suck:

1. Man buns. If a man has long hair, he should wear it proudly, like Fabio.
2. The shaven back and sides that go with the man bun, but sometimes appear alone. It's all very Hitler Youth. The Germans lost, get over it.
3. Crocs. My old girlfriend was right, slip-on shoes are the mark of a lazy man. The holes are where your dignity leaks out.
4. Hipster beards. By all means beard away, but trim it neatly.
5. Goatees on old guys. Only permissable if you are an evil villain.
6. Men with neither arse nor belt. Ideally you should squat and develop an arse, but if prevented from squatting by some congenital deformity like laziness, at least wear a belt. Arse cleavage is not attractive like breast cleavage is, sorry.
7. T-shirts on a date. T-shirts are for sleeping and exercise. The rest of the time a collar is necessary.

Next to these fashion abominations, a woman with green hair is inoffensive.

It's not about me, it's about men with no taste and the unfortunate women and men who date them and have to put up with these horrors and pretend that such a man is still desirable.

GuitarStv

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Re: Women / girls with blue, red, green hair
« Reply #120 on: July 09, 2018, 08:17:18 AM »
Making it all about you is an artifact of privilege. Much as it would be if I waded into a thread of black folks sharing their stories of microaggressions and started in on "but but but not all of us are like that! You should be nicer to your allies!" would be a classic example of clueless liberal racism.

When it's not about you, don't make it about you. The end.
This is all very well and true, but the following things still suck:

1. Man buns. If a man has long hair, he should wear it proudly, like Fabio.
2. The shaven back and sides that go with the man bun, but sometimes appear alone. It's all very Hitler Youth. The Germans lost, get over it.
3. Crocs. My old girlfriend was right, slip-on shoes are the mark of a lazy man. The holes are where your dignity leaks out.
4. Hipster beards. By all means beard away, but trim it neatly.
5. Goatees on old guys. Only permissable if you are an evil villain.
6. Men with neither arse nor belt. Ideally you should squat and develop an arse, but if prevented from squatting by some congenital deformity like laziness, at least wear a belt. Arse cleavage is not attractive like breast cleavage is, sorry.
7. T-shirts on a date. T-shirts are for sleeping and exercise. The rest of the time a collar is necessary.

Next to these fashion abominations, a woman with green hair is inoffensive.

It's not about me, it's about men with no taste and the unfortunate women and men who date them and have to put up with these horrors and pretend that such a man is still desirable.

There's a perfectly legitimate exception to the number seven rule though:


JLee

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Re: Women / girls with blue, red, green hair
« Reply #121 on: July 09, 2018, 10:42:31 AM »
Men? Just no. Go blond, go jet black, or go home. And manbuns can be added to that list as well. Next thing you're going to tell me dudes want pigtails. (vomit)

Of course, people can do what they want, but there are some things that are just bad taste and deserve to be mocked.

I am probably going to do a colored section of my hair at some point and I really don't give two shits if you think I deserve to be mocked or not.

If you get your kicks out of mocking other people's choices, you may want to reprioritize your life.

Kris

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Re: Women / girls with blue, red, green hair
« Reply #122 on: July 09, 2018, 10:51:18 AM »
Of course, people can do what they want, but there are some things that are just bad taste and deserve to be mocked.

Women - you've got to look at the whole package. Women who do it as part of an overall lifestyle appearance, it can look very attractive.




Women who do it just to dye their hair and otherwise dress like old people with no fashion sense? Just no. This is like the female version of buying a giant SUV at 35.



It's all in the execution.

Men? Just no. Go blond, go jet black, or go home. And manbuns can be added to that list as well. Next thing you're going to tell me dudes want pigtails. (vomit)

Of course, people can do what they want, but there are some things that are just bad taste and deserve to be mocked.

In other words: if they're sexy, it's fine.

No fat chicks, though.

Good lord.

plainjane

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Re: Women / girls with blue, red, green hair
« Reply #123 on: July 09, 2018, 10:55:44 AM »
Of course, people can do what they want, but there are some things that are just bad taste and deserve to be mocked.

Women - you've got to look at the whole package. Women who do it as part of an overall lifestyle appearance, it can look very attractive.

Huh. Funny how it's ok from your perspective if the person is a certain size and willing to put in a lot of effort into presentation.  And interesting that attractiveness to your gaze is the way we can tell whether something we do is acceptable.

In other news, those slide on sandals are gross unless you've had a pedicure (this _especially_ counts for guys), and even then, I'd prefer not to see your toes unless you have a medical reason to show them. 

ETA: oh, I missed the gender norms policing. Guys, pigtails are tough to pull off after you're twelve, but if you want to go for it, live your life.
« Last Edit: July 09, 2018, 10:57:55 AM by plainjane »

GuitarStv

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Re: Women / girls with blue, red, green hair
« Reply #124 on: July 09, 2018, 11:05:47 AM »
Kinda have to agree with Kris on this one.  Three pictures of women with dyed hair and matching accessories.  One of them weighs more than the other two.  She is unacceptable.  Jesus.

Dollar Slice

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Re: Women / girls with blue, red, green hair
« Reply #125 on: July 09, 2018, 11:23:13 AM »
ETA: oh, I missed the gender norms policing. Guys, pigtails are tough to pull off after you're twelve, but if you want to go for it, live your life.

I know a guy with long pigtails. He's honestly pretty badass! It's nice to live in a community where people don't feel the need to respect pointless uberconservative social norms. :-)

I'm so amazed at the amount of thought and energy people put into judging the hair or cloth other people choose to have on their bodies. The world we live in is so interesting and full of worthwhile things to do.

madgeylou

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Re: Women / girls with blue, red, green hair
« Reply #126 on: July 09, 2018, 11:31:23 AM »
Hey dudes, especially @Raymond Reddington -- FYI -- your opinions on how random women look are not important! No one cares! Bye!
« Last Edit: July 09, 2018, 11:33:57 AM by madgeylou »

Exflyboy

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Re: Women / girls with blue, red, green hair
« Reply #127 on: July 09, 2018, 11:33:25 AM »
I generally find its a good idea not to judge books by their covers.

I mean I wouldn't want to find out what anyone thought of my appearance.. I might put a bag over my head if I did..:)

Samuel

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Re: Women / girls with blue, red, green hair
« Reply #128 on: July 09, 2018, 11:35:05 AM »
I would not have expected a cheekily written question wondering if there was a cultural message behind a recently observed fashion trend would us lead here, even with the addition of the negative personal opinion of the trend. It's really not an unreasonable guess that it could possibly indicate support of LGBTQ or feminist causes, is it?

Also while we probably can assume jim555 is a man there's nothing in the original post that could not have been plausibly written by a woman. Would that change anything?

Can anyone honestly deny that fashion choices often, but not always, involve some kind of cultural signaling (primarily in group/out group)? Or that people are constantly judging and inferring things from other people's choices, even if they are actively giving benefits of the doubt? And that a perfectly appropriate response to someone expressing a half baked superficial judgement is an eye roll and a "whatever..."?





« Last Edit: July 09, 2018, 11:36:51 AM by Samuel »

Dabnasty

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Re: Women / girls with blue, red, green hair
« Reply #129 on: July 09, 2018, 11:52:47 AM »
...

In other words: if they're sexy, it's fine.

No fat chicks, though.

Good lord.
Yep, no defending that one.

If anything I would judge the first one the harshest. I mean, clearly she's dressed up for a photo shoot but she's basically wearing a costume. That wouldn't be appropriate for most work places. Probably over priced too.

The last one is just a person. In normal clothes. With colored hair. ???

ptobeast

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Re: Women / girls with blue, red, green hair
« Reply #130 on: July 09, 2018, 01:55:40 PM »
So the first image is of a professional model (https://www.deviantart.com/saphirnoir), the second image is a person with a blog dedicated to fashion/style (https://halsey--17.tumblr.com/), and the 3rd is a photograph of someone from a college website (https://www.warren-wilson.edu/student-life/warren-wilson-style/).

Note: The first profile indicates "Please do not use my pictures without my permission", so it might be a good idea to remove the image from this post. Not sure about the second, but the third is likely copyrighted by the college, so there may also be legal issues with posting it on here as well.

Laserjet3051

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Re: Women / girls with blue, red, green hair
« Reply #131 on: July 09, 2018, 03:43:24 PM »
I would not have expected a cheekily written question wondering if there was a cultural message behind a recently observed fashion trend would us lead here, even with the addition of the negative personal opinion of the trend. It's really not an unreasonable guess that it could possibly indicate support of LGBTQ or feminist causes, is it?

Also while we probably can assume jim555 is a man there's nothing in the original post that could not have been plausibly written by a woman. Would that change anything?

Can anyone honestly deny that fashion choices often, but not always, involve some kind of cultural signaling (primarily in group/out group)? Or that people are constantly judging and inferring things from other people's choices, even if they are actively giving benefits of the doubt? And that a perfectly appropriate response to someone expressing a half baked superficial judgement is an eye roll and a "whatever..."?


Such an even handed and thoughtful response such as this will not be tolerated in this thread.  My god man, don't you know, it's always about the Patriarchy?
« Last Edit: July 09, 2018, 06:36:08 PM by Laserjet3051 »

Raymond Reddington

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Re: Women / girls with blue, red, green hair
« Reply #132 on: July 09, 2018, 04:09:38 PM »
Anytime someone makes a deliberately unusual or out of place decision about their public appearance, they are inviting you to make it your business.  Melania can't even wear a jacket without the entire country speculating about the meaning.  Face tattoos send a message.  Public nudity sends a message.  Suits and ties send a message.  Beards and flannel send a message. 

Of course people will judge you based on the appearance you choose to portray, that's what appearances are for.  I find it slightly disingenuous to claim that we should all be able to look however we want to look, free of judgement.  I want my waiter to look clean and my mechanic to look dirty, and if they choose to subvert that expectation then they can expect me to notice, and to form opinions based on their unusual choices.

Hair color is no different.  Weird colors are totally normal in some circumstances, and jarring in others, and any time someone chooses the jarring circumstance they have invited your judgment, no different than if they had chosen all black leather or a pink tutu.  We all use our public appearance to send important social cues. 

So yea, it's kind of everyone's business.  You don't get to say anything (that's rude) but you totally get to have an opinion. 

If my accountant shows up for a meeting in a gimp costume, am I supposed to pretend I don't notice?  I'm all for respecting personal life choices, but it seems silly to pretend appearances don't matter.

Pretty much this is what I was trying to say. As regarding the comment about someone being plus sized, we have the right to judge them for that too. Many of us work very hard at fitness and what we eat so as to specifically not be obese. Among Mustachians, someone who manages money extremely stupidly would be frowned on, as that is a negative behavior, and if such a person were to seek validation for their poor life choices, I would be well within my right to withhold approval. Well, being overweight carries increased risks of heart disease, diabetes, and all other sorts of health risks and it is fair to consider such unattractive. Furthermore, this is a risk factor that is completely controllable by the person as the steward of their own body, and yet we don't charge obese people more for health insurance even though we do charge young people more for car insurance, or people who live in flood planes have to buy flood insurance because regular homeowners' insurance won't cover flood damage.

People can do what they want, but there are certain judgments that people will make when they do. These are judgments that are sometimes hard coded into us from evolution, and other times bcome a part of us subconsciously as we experience the world and learn a set of judgments and patterns that help us navigate our world as adults.

My belief is that some women can pull off the look, and others can't. My belief is that guys can't. The women that are able to pull it off, it's because it's part of an overall appearance. The photos I posted (removed, due to legit comments about their sharing on the internet) showed a cyberpunk girl whose red hair fits into her overall appearance. The second showed a girl going for a chic grungy style of fashion with blue hair, and the third showed an otherwise normal college kid who decided to make a "radical fashion statement" by dying their hair but continues to dress generally conservatively.

In my experience, people who simply change their hair color and it's not part of an overall lifestyle are just seeking to break from a dull reality and otherwise generate attention for their "lifestyle change." There is no shortage of people out there willing to notice the hair color, make conversation, and because people tend to be non-confrontational in public, offer a compliment on the style (even though they'll later tell you they think it looks bad when the person isn't around). This validation is no different than people who post positive statuses on social media seeking validation. It reeks in many ways of desperation, in my opinion.

And it's not just picking on hair color. Men do this stuff too. Investment bankers suddenly showing up with leather jackets or wearing camo at places where this is not appropriate. Spending a bunch of money on fancy sunglasses, etc. If appearances truly aren't that important, and I'm being JudgyMcJudgyPants by saying that appearances signal certain things to me, then why do the same people who criticize me for judging a person's BMI (the reduction of which actually is statistically correlated with lower healthcare usage and therefore lower costs) advocate for squandering wealth in the pursuit of changing or perfecting appearances through dyed hair, man buns, etc.?

plainjane

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Re: Women / girls with blue, red, green hair
« Reply #133 on: July 09, 2018, 04:14:25 PM »
Can anyone honestly deny that fashion choices often, but not always, involve some kind of cultural signaling (primarily in group/out group)? Or that people are constantly judging and inferring things from other people's choices, even if they are actively giving benefits of the doubt? And that a perfectly appropriate response to someone expressing a half baked superficial judgement is an eye roll and a "whatever..."?

A perfectly appropriate response would be an eye roll. Or a perfectly appropriate response is to tell the person to keep their opinions to themselves. When one group is disproportionately the subject of such comments and judgements then it is reasonable to point out that this is a systemic thing.

And if someone poked you on the arm once a day for years after you tried ignoring it and then asked them to stop. What would you say about the person doing the poking?  How about if it was a different person each day? And that person says that they only did it that once why are you not just letting it go? Even after you point out that it happens all the time?

LilyFleur

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Re: Women / girls with blue, red, green hair
« Reply #134 on: July 09, 2018, 06:29:59 PM »
Is it LGB related?
I think it's RGB related.


Hahaha! I am blonde and am planning a narrow pink streak on the right side of my face as a way to celebrate surviving breast cancer for 6 years now! I will do it just before October (Breast Cancer Awareness month).

ptobeast

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Re: Women / girls with blue, red, green hair
« Reply #135 on: July 09, 2018, 09:02:28 PM »
I think itís incredibly difficult to judge other people, especially the less you know about them. Like, say you see an overweight person. Sure, you could assume they eat donuts all day and never exercise. But you donít know their story - maybe theyíre a huge health nut who used to be 100 lbs heavier, maybe theyíve been suffering from crippling depression which has had the side effect of severe weight gain, maybe years of yo-yo dieting has destroyed their metabolism. Unless you're their doctor, what value does your likely uninformed opinion really offer? Same with hair color - sure, if you know a young person about to enter the working world and have a close enough relationship with them that theyíd listen to you, some advice that they might want to forego the blue hair at their new job might be helpful. But otherwise, why worry about it?

Iím unsure what value really comes out of judging other people, other than as a means to make yourself feel better than them. I think it is a natural human habit to judge others, but I think itís a unhealthy habit that ultimately leads to a lack of understanding and division between ourselves and other people, and thus itís a habit worth trying to overcome. Why waste mental energy thinking negative things about other people who you have no power to change?

Is it LGB related?
I think it's RGB related.


Hahaha! I am blonde and am planning a narrow pink streak on the right side of my face as a way to celebrate surviving breast cancer for 6 years now! I will do it just before October (Breast Cancer Awareness month).

What a great way to celebrate, very cool!

Kyle Schuant

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Re: Women / girls with blue, red, green hair
« Reply #136 on: July 09, 2018, 10:09:40 PM »
You wear crocs, don't you, Raymond? Or worse: socks and sandals.

I'm judging you.

Raymond Reddington

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Re: Women / girls with blue, red, green hair
« Reply #137 on: July 09, 2018, 11:29:54 PM »
You wear crocs, don't you, Raymond? Or worse: socks and sandals.

I'm judging you.

HA! That's gotta be a first time for being accused of either of those things.

re: socks and sandals...Birkensocks? That's up there in the list of fashion faux pas.


pachnik

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Re: Women / girls with blue, red, green hair
« Reply #139 on: July 10, 2018, 08:19:04 AM »
Iím unsure what value really comes out of judging other people, other than as a means to make yourself feel better than them. I think it is a natural human habit to judge others, but I think itís a unhealthy habit that ultimately leads to a lack of understanding and division between ourselves and other people, and thus itís a habit worth trying to overcome. Why waste mental energy thinking negative things about other people who you have no power to change?

+1.  Very well said ptobeast.   I used to live constantly judging people (in my head) and it was very negative.  When I start doing it now, I acknowledge it and then let go of the thoughts.  It is an unhealthy habit for sure.

golden1

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Re: Women / girls with blue, red, green hair
« Reply #140 on: July 10, 2018, 08:35:22 AM »
I am an older female.  I like some of the colored hair, but mostly when I see it, I just think about how much wasted time goes into some of the more complex hair color.  And that goes for ďnormalĒ hair colors.  I know so many women who spend hours in the salon every few weeks getting it touched up etc, when a good cut every few months is sufficient to look good. 

But whatever, style is subjective.  I would just rather put my energy elsewhere. 

dogboyslim

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Re: Women / girls with blue, red, green hair
« Reply #141 on: July 10, 2018, 09:15:15 AM »
My pre-teen girl wanted to dye her hair.  MrsDBS didn't think it was a good idea but I argued that it didn't hurt anything and would grow out and fade quickly enough.  Same discussion around the second ear piercing.  She's a teen now and she's still experimenting with her look.  It doesn't hurt anyone, she likes how it looks.  That's all there is to it.

To Sol's point.  She's not old enough to work, but we did have this conversation.  Like it or not, there are some places that will not hire you if you have non-natural colored hair, visible tattoos or piercings beyond what is "normal" whatever that is.  We let her know that its her choice, but could limit her employment options later.  Right now she has purple hair.  It looks pretty good...or did until chlorine and sun destroyed the color. 

At work, I've got an employee that dies his hair pink.  He is a he at work but has shared with me that he's trans (still prefers I use he at work btw).  I suspect the hair thing though was just because he wanted to do it, not some signaling of his LGBT status.  Another woman at work has some bright red streaks in her otherwise jet black hair.  Her son's team made it to a regional qualifier so she colored it to show team support.

In short...people do things to their hair because <reasons>.  <Reasons> are different for each person.

JLee

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Re: Women / girls with blue, red, green hair
« Reply #142 on: July 10, 2018, 09:26:43 PM »
So the first image is of a professional model (https://www.deviantart.com/saphirnoir), the second image is a person with a blog dedicated to fashion/style (https://halsey--17.tumblr.com/), and the 3rd is a photograph of someone from a college website (https://www.warren-wilson.edu/student-life/warren-wilson-style/).

Note: The first profile indicates "Please do not use my pictures without my permission", so it might be a good idea to remove the image from this post. Not sure about the second, but the third is likely copyrighted by the college, so there may also be legal issues with posting it on here as well.

As a huge fan of Halsey, I just wanted to point out that is not her site. It's a random Tumblr person compiling stuff together.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halsey_(singer)
https://www.facebook.com/HalseyMusic/
http://www.hfktour.com