Whatcha' doin for Lent?

[Sailor Sam]

Anyone want to share what they're doing for Lent in 2022?

Usually I take something away, and I might do that again this year. Coffee would be a particular personal sacrifice, but I've also reached a point in my maturity where such hyper-personal sacrifice seems very shallow. Not because small gestures are meaningless, or that suffering is ever a contest. More that I've sacrificed alcohol/coffee/meat already, and I've learned the lessons that small internal sacrifice brings. I want to focus outward, on the world, instead of inward.

I haven't quite figured out how to make outward sacrifice. I already tithe, though there's always room for more. I've been playing with the idea of meditating on the pain of the world for 10 minutes each day. To truly try and project myself into a Russian solider, and a Ukrainian mother, and even the oligarchs. The trans youth, and the Floridians Reps who voted for the "don't say gay" bill.

Anyway, I'm writing this with sticky donut fingers. Time to wrap it up. What are all y'all doing?

[economista]

I still haven't decided what to do. I was going to stop using facebook but then last week I talked to both sets of grandparents and my aunt and they all mentioned that they only use facebook to see pictures of my kids. It seems too mean to take that away from them so now I'm lost. For the past few years instead of taking something away I added prayer/bible study time but I was really bad at actually fitting it in each day.

[Weisass]

I'm sitting here waiting for my bomboloni donuts to finish rising so that I, too, can be covered in sticky donut stuff. So this is a great time to think about my lenten practice. TLDR; im Presbyterian, so I don't *have* to do anything...

I am still mulling over an article that Margaret Renkl wrote in the times this week about how she's not giving anything up for lent (if you are interested, that article is https://www.nytimes.com/2022/02/28/opinion/christians-church-lent.html). Really, she is complaining about how the chruch she used to attend has let her down institutionally, so she has has decided to fast from institutions (the article title was more incendiary earlier this week--they changed it to something about being unchurched, which I think is misleading since she is a religious person who has stopped going, and in most church circles, being "unchurched" means something else).

Anyhow, I hear the point from some folks : "we've lost so much, why give up more?" but also, that felt more accurate to reality last year, for me at least. This year? Everyone is back to status quo as far as I can see. Activities have resumed, consumption is once more unchecked, and the standard vices are all available. Beyond that, it bothers me that the secular interpretation of lent is like a diet, where you are removing things for removing's sake. That is not the point at all-- the point is to take something away, so that *when you miss it* you remember your need for the holy, the transcendent, what I call God but what others might call holy mystery or something like that.

I think right now is a really good time to take up a practice of "letting go" that reminds me that I am not all that on my own. Typically, I try to think about the question: "what would I miss if it were gone? What will get my attention?"

A few things I am meditating and praying on right now:

• replace television for entertainment with prayer: I have a tendency to mindlessly watch a show in the evening. What if instead when I reach for the tv, I prayed for the world instead?
• give up alcohol for lent: I know, I know. But I enjoy a glass of wine to relax right now, and I will miss it if it is gone. This would be less for the sake of some health skill, but more for the sake of getting at the feeling of longing.

[Syonyk]

I was going to stop using facebook but then last week I talked to both sets of grandparents and my aunt and they all mentioned that they only use facebook to see pictures of my kids. It seems too mean to take that away from them so now I'm lost.

So replace it with another way of sending pictures.  Giving up Facebook for Lent is excellent, you won't believe how toxic the place is after some time away from it.  Go back for a bit the week after Easter, and... then just go back to the workarounds you developed.

You can email pictures.  That still works.  You can text pictures, if they're on a phone and you have a phone that can do that.

Or, go physical.  Have your kids write some letters, make art, and you go print a few pictures at your local photo printer wherever that happens to be, then mail them (assuming not international, that's a mess lately).  I guarantee grandparents won't complain about the lack of Facebook updates if they're getting letters from the grandkids.

==========

I try to use Lent as a period of time to reset a lot of bad habits that build up, especially around internet use.  I'd been tapering off for the last month or so anyway, but this thread seemed relevant.  The past two years have been less-disconnectedy than I prefer during Lent, with local news remaining relevant, and more than a tiny bit of doomscrolling as the world broke in a variety of ways, so I'm forcing it a bit harder this year.

I typically go with "No casual internet use" - so no forums, news scrolling, etc.  I can still use it for research if needed on a particular project (though increasingly I just keep the reference materials offline), I check email every day or two, and don't entirely shut down personal messengers, though I'm on them far less.  My phone still works perfectly fine for a phone call, if people need to trigger an interrupt for some reason.  Doesn't do much beyond calls and texts, which is just fine with me anymore.

However, this year I'm throwing a few other things in the stack, because I can use the reset.  We're dropping family TV time out for Lent (though my youngest can still get some bonus TV time while his sister's at school if he behaves, that's been a good motivator), and I'm settling into a probably two week water fast, followed by juice, maybe back and forth between those for a bit.  I normally run about a week at a time of water fasting, but the human body can do far longer, and it's good for me (water fasting puts the body into what, for all the world, seems like Borg regeneration mode).  That's actually the hardest, I end up far more-bored water fasting than giving up internet, which is the point - time to read/pray/etc.  And I'm going to try to stay "physical" with as little screen time as possible.  That counts my eink reader, which I love, but I've got a pile of paper magazine and books to read as well.  We also, as a family, have a large pile of minifigs to paint.  And I've got some model airplanes to build.

[Warlord1986]

I tried to give up coffee one year. That lasted for a few hours, then apologized to the Lord and gave some money to the Church instead.

This year I'm giving up meat and alcohol. I love meat and booze. The last year I gave up alcohol was 2020, and boy howdy did I regret that decision. If there was every a year that I needed a drink it was that one. Let's hope this year goes better.

[simonsez]

I was going to stop using facebook but then last week I talked to both sets of grandparents and my aunt and they all mentioned that they only use facebook to see pictures of my kids. It seems too mean to take that away from them so now I'm lost.

So replace it with another way of sending pictures.  Giving up Facebook for Lent is excellent, you won't believe how toxic the place is after some time away from it.  Go back for a bit the week after Easter, and... then just go back to the workarounds you developed.

You can email pictures.  That still works.  You can text pictures, if they're on a phone and you have a phone that can do that.

Or, go physical.  Have your kids write some letters, make art, and you go print a few pictures at your local photo printer wherever that happens to be, then mail them (assuming not international, that's a mess lately).  I guarantee grandparents won't complain about the lack of Facebook updates if they're getting letters from the grandkids.

+1

And it's more intimate!  Imagine being on the receiving end of a letter or a texted picture or an emailed one with a blurb about recent activities - it's special!

You might find a hybrid approach works in the beginning - like still post to FB but at a decreased rate and then for certain moments, only certain family members/friends are privy via the mail/email/text.

Most people have group text messages with certain circles.  The cloud can organize photos for you.  FB does not have photo convenience completely cornered.  Yes, it can be more work to sidestep public social media platforms but that's kinda the point.  Putting forth effort into cultivating and keeping your important networks in the loop when they know it's coming directly from you is really showing the love.

[Sailor Sam]

I tried to give up coffee one year. That lasted for a few hours, then apologized to the Lord and gave some money to the Church instead.

I did it one year, and it was so. Fucking. Hard. I didn’t even think about washing out with money, but if I had thought of it, I would’ve done it.

Maybe some of this year‘s navel gazing is because I don’t want to give up coffee again.

[economista]

Thanks for the ideas group but I don’t think you understand my family members. Their phones do not receive or send photos. They are not smart phones. Both sets of grandparents keep their computer set up with a window always open logged into facebook because if that window gets closed someone has to come over and reopen it for them. They never post anything themselves and only use it to see the photos that my brother and I post of our children. We would love to video call them using facebook messenger but they cannot figure that out. My brother even bought one set an iPad specifically to do FaceTime calls and it didn’t work out. When the oldest was born I didn’t want to put pictures of her on the internet and I found an app for sharing pictures among family members. Not even the tech-savvy members of my family downloaded it and they all just urged me to use facebook or email (but email doesn’t work for the grandparents). I decided to just remove all of my non-family/close friends from facebook and use that platform instead. I try to post at least one picture every day or 2 and when we do our weekly phone calls they always comment on the pictures that I posted throughout the week and want to talk about the stories behind them.

One set of grandparents has a digital frame that I can directly send pictures to but the other doesn’t. My children are also 1, 2, and still gestating, so they can’t send them letters and such. They can scribble on a paper but overall I think we would lose a lot of what we gain by having the pictures on facebook. I will just come up with something else. I mentioned this dilemma to my aunt last week and she asked me to please not stop posting on Facebook because my grandparents get so much joy out of seeing those pictures every day.

[YttriumNitrate]

I give up my New Year's Resolutions for Lent.

[Sailor Sam]

I give up my New Year's Resolutions for Lent.

Are you posting with good intent, or are you just snarking? It's hard to tell from one line of text, so I thought I'd ask.

[YttriumNitrate]

I give up my New Year's Resolutions for Lent.

Are you posting with good intent, or are you just snarking? It's hard to tell from one line of text, so I thought I'd ask.

It's the old joke I would tell in Catholic school, but it also works well as a commentary on the usual futility in making event based changes as by this time people have usually long given up their New Year's Resolutions and are getting ready to make new ones.

[partgypsy]

I don't know. I traditionally do orthodox lent  (cultural, spiritual rather than religious reasons) which is very strict. But since my breast cancer bout in 2020, last year's lent felt extra tough and not really the best for me. Orthodox lent doesn't really give you the option to switch out what you give up. So, just going to focus on my health this year. Am planning on reducing wine and/or sugar consption but prob not 100% and not really for lent. There are things spiritually I want to work on; less lazy/automatic diversions and more intentionality in how I use my time, and no personal purchases during this time. A coworker I knew died recently. She was an inspiring person, but her family canceled her meal train after she died, is not doing a go fund me. So whenever I feel the impulse to do something, to not just pray or give thoughts, do something that is in the spirit of that person, even if that means loving the people around me harder.

[LifeHappens]

Thanks for starting this thread, Sam. I don't know that I'm ready to public with it, but I have some intentions for Lent this year. I agree with others who said 2021 was too hard really embrace the Lenten spirit of fasting and prayer/reflection, but I'm feeling much stronger this year.

[jeninco]

@economista, what's is Facebook currently doing about mining data off their platform? I've consistently refused to have my photo (or those of my children) up there, and when my SIL put up photos with my name I reamed her out -- there's no earthly reason Zucherburg and Meta need to have my image, especially not associated with my name! (But we are unusually private about use of our likenesses and personal data.)

I think, in your position, we'd just purchase another digital frame that's attached to the internet and send them photos directly to the frame. But I understand your challenge!

Edited, because autocorrect is not my friend.

[Warlord1986]

I tried to give up coffee one year. That lasted for a few hours, then apologized to the Lord and gave some money to the Church instead.

I did it one year, and it was so. Fucking. Hard. I didn’t even think about washing out with money, but if I had thought of it, I would’ve done it.

Maybe some of this year‘s navel gazing is because I don’t want to give up coffee again.

You're an inspiration. I wasn't exaggerating when I said I lasted a few hours.

Is there anything else you could give up this year?

[mastrr]

ideas that I've heard, have done, or will be doing:

- no meat Wednesday & Friday
- no radio when driving
- no coffee
- say Rosary at a higher frequency then you do currently
- go to Mass at a higher frequency (if you go once a week try and see if you can go twice a week)

[pachnik]

I am in.  I am going to give up desserts/chocolate for Lent.   

[hdatontodo]

Not buying beverages out and donating to Ukraine charities.

[Sailor Sam]

I tried to give up coffee one year. That lasted for a few hours, then apologized to the Lord and gave some money to the Church instead.

I did it one year, and it was so. Fucking. Hard. I didn’t even think about washing out with money, but if I had thought of it, I would’ve done it.

Maybe some of this year‘s navel gazing is because I don’t want to give up coffee again.

You're an inspiration. I wasn't exaggerating when I said I lasted a few hours.

Is there anything else you could give up this year?

I decided to give up packaged and prepared food. Everything from scratch, except bread because I’m terrible baker, who destroys yeast. I don’t usually use much prepared stuff, but none at all is a reach. I can use the extra chopping and prep as a zen practice. Giving to myself, and the world though lower consumption, and blah blah soul, god, blah. ;)

[LifeHappens]

I decided to give up packaged and prepared food. Everything from scratch, except bread because I’m terrible baker, who destroys yeast. I don’t usually use much prepared stuff, but none at all is a reach. I can use the extra chopping and prep as a zen practice. Giving to myself, and the world though lower consumption, and blah blah soul, god, blah. ;)

I am doing something similar, though perhaps not as thorough as you. I've set myself a standard menu for breakfast and lunch and am simplifying dinners (which I usually make for me and DH).

I've realized I've gotten a bit bougie with my cooking (#thanksCovid) and I want to use that brain space for other things.

[Michael in ABQ]

I decided to give up alcohol. I usually have 1-2 beers in the evening 4-5 days a week. I figure this will help me find a healthier stress release as well as probably drop a few pounds.

[GuitarStv]

For lent this year I've given up making promises about what I'll give up.  So far, holding fast.

[Sailor Sam]

For lent this year I've given up making promises about what I'll give up.  So far, holding fast.

So you’re following a secular Lent? Makes sense, I suppose. Lent does, after all, match to the possibly hungry time between the last of the harvest getting scraped up off the storage room floor, and the first of the Spring tasties. Recreating the austerity in the modern world probably ain’t bad for the human spark.

[Cranky]

Ordinarily, we’ve given up wine and then donated the $ to a cause. Also, Fish on Friday, but that’s not exactly a sacrifice because we went to a different church fish fry every week, and it was delicious, but it did remind us that it was Still Lent every week. Also, we play Lent Madness which leads to interesting conversations about a Godly Life.

This year, though, we’ve already pretty much given up drinking for family reasons, so… I’m thinking about just working to be more positive in general? This has been a difficult year for not really Covid related reasons and I’m just too grumpy. That could use some work.

[GuitarStv]

For lent this year I've given up making promises about what I'll give up.  So far, holding fast.

So you’re following a secular Lent? Makes sense, I suppose. Lent does, after all, match to the possibly hungry time between the last of the harvest getting scraped up off the storage room floor, and the first of the Spring tasties. Recreating the austerity in the modern world probably ain’t bad for the human spark.

My family and I already live a pretty austere life . . . at least you would think so if you listened to the comments about house temperature in the winter.  :P

[Weisass]

For lent this year I've given up making promises about what I'll give up.  So far, holding fast.

So you’re following a secular Lent? Makes sense, I suppose. Lent does, after all, match to the possibly hungry time between the last of the harvest getting scraped up off the storage room floor, and the first of the Spring tasties. Recreating the austerity in the modern world probably ain’t bad for the human spark.

My family and I already live a pretty austere life . . . at least you would think so if you listened to the comments about house temperature in the winter.  :P

I dunno. ours is set at 60 right now, and under a blanket its downright toasty.

[GuitarStv]

For lent this year I've given up making promises about what I'll give up.  So far, holding fast.

So you’re following a secular Lent? Makes sense, I suppose. Lent does, after all, match to the possibly hungry time between the last of the harvest getting scraped up off the storage room floor, and the first of the Spring tasties. Recreating the austerity in the modern world probably ain’t bad for the human spark.

My family and I already live a pretty austere life . . . at least you would think so if you listened to the comments about house temperature in the winter.  :P

I dunno. ours is set at 60 right now, and under a blanket its downright toasty.

We would get along.

[Sibley]

I tried to give up coffee one year. That lasted for a few hours, then apologized to the Lord and gave some money to the Church instead.

I did it one year, and it was so. Fucking. Hard. I didn’t even think about washing out with money, but if I had thought of it, I would’ve done it.

Maybe some of this year‘s navel gazing is because I don’t want to give up coffee again.

My last SO gave up caffeine for Lent one year. Cold turkey. I avoided him for a week because he was so snappy and crabby. Self inflicted = no sympathy.

I'm not religious. Its remarkable if I know that it's Lent. However, it seems to me that the point of Lent is to reflect and to be closer to God. So perhaps do things that will bring you closer to God? Good deeds - the real kind. Get your hands dirty volunteering to help out, etc.

[Sailor Sam]

For lent this year I've given up making promises about what I'll give up.  So far, holding fast.

So you’re following a secular Lent? Makes sense, I suppose. Lent does, after all, match to the possibly hungry time between the last of the harvest getting scraped up off the storage room floor, and the first of the Spring tasties. Recreating the austerity in the modern world probably ain’t bad for the human spark.

My family and I already live a pretty austere life . . . at least you would think so if you listened to the comments about house temperature in the winter.  :P

We used to keep the house at a temperature in which my wife would still willingly get naked, except the wife departed. Now I keep the house at a temperature that keeps the Yorkie happy. Because, as they say, happy yapper, quiet life.

[Weisass]

Clearly, what I SHOULD have given up was white knuckle rage at my family over stupid shit... she says as she sits in her bedroom chugging Whiskey straight from the bottle while reading a fantasy novel after kid number 3 dumped milk all over the place and kids 1-2 and 4 laughed their asses off.

[Weisass]

For lent this year I've given up making promises about what I'll give up.  So far, holding fast.

So you’re following a secular Lent? Makes sense, I suppose. Lent does, after all, match to the possibly hungry time between the last of the harvest getting scraped up off the storage room floor, and the first of the Spring tasties. Recreating the austerity in the modern world probably ain’t bad for the human spark.

My family and I already live a pretty austere life . . . at least you would think so if you listened to the comments about house temperature in the winter.  :P

I dunno. ours is set at 60 right now, and under a blanket its downright toasty.

We would get along.

You know, when I was a kid, every morning I would wake up and find the nearest air register in the kitchen and lay on top of it because it was SO.WARM. and my dad was SO MEAN for keeping the house cold.  He would tell me "put on a sweater" and I would scrunch up my face and lay down on the register and dream of warmer days. I swore I wouldn't be like him.

I lied. I am just like him down to my core. And I don't regret it for a second.

[Apples]

In my Presbyterian church growing up, which I quit attending around 12 years old so my memory may not be perfect, the emphasis was to do extra things for the community in the name of God and the Lenten season.  The church worked with a local food bank and domestic violence shelter* and in Lent the call was to volunteer with them or other orgs more, give more money to go to them each week, etc.  Make a personal sacrifice of time or money dedicated towards serving your community in a concrete way.  I always liked that version.   Then I got older and met some Catholic people and learned about Fish Fridays and giving up candy (teenagers), and I was like whaaaaaat?  All of this to say - the inconvenience of doing good work in your community or donating to that cause might fulfill the Lent requirement?

*as a kid, I didn't realize how awesome that was of the church members.  This church largely focused on putting money and volunteer hours into organizations doing good in the community, rather than hosting their own thing in-house.  And I appreciate that, because when churches do things in-house it can end up quite exclusionary.  But that's neither here nor there for Lent.

[partgypsy]

In my Presbyterian church growing up, which I quit attending around 12 years old so my memory may not be perfect, the emphasis was to do extra things for the community in the name of God and the Lenten season.  The church worked with a local food bank and domestic violence shelter* and in Lent the call was to volunteer with them or other orgs more, give more money to go to them each week, etc.  Make a personal sacrifice of time or money dedicated towards serving your community in a concrete way.  I always liked that version.   Then I got older and met some Catholic people and learned about Fish Fridays and giving up candy (teenagers), and I was like whaaaaaat?  All of this to say - the inconvenience of doing good work in your community or donating to that cause might fulfill the Lent requirement?

*as a kid, I didn't realize how awesome that was of the church members.  This church largely focused on putting money and volunteer hours into organizations doing good in the community, rather than hosting their own thing in-house.  And I appreciate that, because when churches do things in-house it can end up quite exclusionary.  But that's neither here nor there for Lent.

yes, since I can't do regular Lent dietarily, going to give up caffeine (so far 3 days with no coffee or tea), sweets, and voluntary/fun personal purchases. And those don't contradict me trying to be healthy during this time. The idea is whatever $ you saved by not buying things, to donate that money. It seems like a no-brainer this year to donate to CARE or other international rescue organizations.

[Loren Ver]

I just found this, at the end of Lent, go figure.  I don't usually wander into the off topic section and poke around.

Anyway.  I hope you all were successful!

I made my goal and kept is so all was well with me. I think I even grew a little :).  I'm Lutheran so it isn't required but it is nice to do if I can get the focus right, as Sibley pointed out. 

Maybe next year I'll find this thread and join sooner, when it's actually more relevant....

Loren

[Michael in ABQ]

I decided to give up alcohol. I usually have 1-2 beers in the evening 4-5 days a week. I figure this will help me find a healthier stress release as well as probably drop a few pounds.

Well, I decided to have a glass of wine with dinner last night (I normally drink beer) at my wife's insistence. I did have a couple of drinks about a week into Lent after I witnessed a bank robbery and decided that I need a little stress relief. Otherwise, I maintained my goal during Lent.

[Cranky]

I did make a genuine effort to be more positive about the weather, but now Lent is over and it’s supposed to snow tonight, so…

[Syonyk]

The disconnection is a good reset.  I did post a couple times mid-Lent regarding some needed facepunching about computers, but... otherwise, have been "Occasionally reading, not logging in," and that's been good.  It resets things nicely.  I got a lot of weird stuff done with computers, which was nice - the sort of increasingly circular sysadmin tasks that involve making low power computers do that which I need to work out the issues with other low power computers.  It led into the corners of the Linux kernel, which is always interesting enough, and I'm trying to make my own x32/ILP32 distro for x86/ARM now, so... uh... yeah, that's going to be a challenge.

I optimized a number of things on my blog as well - kicked up the caching ratio on CloudFlare for the (entirely) static content that is my blog with some page rules, and reworked a number of the image source tags to use the graphics rendering pipeline instead of just having static jpgs.  This pipeline, which I've been using for main post content, will automatically render various size and format images from the raw sources, putting them in a picture set that the browser can pick from based on what it supports and what render width it has.  I can change the configs and add new formats (debating adding AVIF, though render times on it are quite long at the moment) and just re-render the blog with the new images.  So, reduced bandwidth/improved performance.  Much as I don't have ads on it, I'm still striving to optimize the page performance and such, just because I hate heavy, stupid webpages that load megabytes of jpeg for thumbnails.  I'm on a slow enough connection regularly that I notice things like that.  Helps with some SEO as well... Google likes the small, fast, advanced feature pages.  Multiple people have pointed out that they're regularly surprised by just how many weird searches turn up links to my blog.

And I wrote a number of posts that will go out in the weeks to come.  One I'm particularly happy with is some work on getting our record player back online and operational - the kids were shocked that you can play music "without a computer," which tells me I've been a bit behind the curve here.  The cueing mechanism (arm lift/lowering) wasn't working, and investigation led to the discovery that a lever/spring holder was broken.  That i couldn't find a replacement tells me that they often fail that way, so I had a friend do some reverse engineering on the part, and the end result is a 3D printed replacement that, soon enough, should be up for sale on his various web stores.  And, of course, my lift mechanism working. ;)

My deck is coming along, I'm just fighting the weather, as usual... we had some just horrid late spring weather, wind, rain, blowing, and I got hailed on multiple times going back and forth between the house and my office.

The internet is a far sillier place after you've had a bunch of time off.  I continue in my trend towards using it mostly as a "Publish into the void and only use a few other services..." system, via ancient and otherwise slow computers.  This response, currently, is on the ancient (2010 era) netbook I keep optimizing into operation, though it's not, by any means, "fast" or "enjoyable to use" for things beyond plain text.  This, lately, I consider more and more a feature.

And I'm considering just driving deeper into the old equipment I own and picking a late 1930s to late 1940s style to match the car, tractor, and origins of the motorcycles I mostly take into town. :)

[Just Joe]

We gave up reason for Lent to spend time with some out of town relatives.