Author Topic: DNA Testing and Surprise Sibling!  (Read 939 times)

Cassie

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DNA Testing and Surprise Sibling!
« on: May 17, 2018, 03:43:19 PM »
So I took a test to confirm my ethnicity.  I found out I have a half sister from when my Dad was in England in WW 2.  Anyone else have a story?

bacchi

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Re: DNA Testing and Surprise Sibling!
« Reply #1 on: May 17, 2018, 05:43:37 PM »
Yep. My SO's grandfather was a traveling salesman and had a long standing affair with a woman in another state.

Surprise! There's a new (half) aunt. Everyone met and shared pictures and stories and it was handled nicely but the new aunt has not yet told her siblings about her mom's indiscretions.

Cassie

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Re: DNA Testing and Surprise Sibling!
« Reply #2 on: May 17, 2018, 06:05:42 PM »
i am sure it was more common then we think.  My DAd was not married to my Mom then but my sister's mom was married with 2 kids when her husband was off fighting and my Dad was stationed there. I am thrilled to have a new sibling and so is she.

wenchsenior

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Re: DNA Testing and Surprise Sibling!
« Reply #3 on: May 17, 2018, 06:10:20 PM »
Yup.

But in my case, I already knew something I wasn't ever supposed to find out about; so when I was investigating my ancestry, I purposely kept my DNA results shielded from public access so this relative wouldn't find them by accident and potentially cause a family-wide meltdown.  However,  I imagine others in the family that don't have this knowledge might inadvertently cause the same problem at some point, if they were to use these DNA sites. Not much I can do about that.

fuzzy math

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Re: DNA Testing and Surprise Sibling!
« Reply #4 on: May 17, 2018, 08:35:55 PM »
Found out my mom's stepdad was her actual dad. Pretty earth shattering for her - she had always wished he was her dad since her "birth" (not really) dad wasn't in her life.
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englishteacheralex

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Re: DNA Testing and Surprise Sibling!
« Reply #5 on: May 17, 2018, 08:47:05 PM »
Found both biological parents. I was adopted at birth in a closed adoption. I made contact with both of them and actually got to talk on the phone with bio dad. Bio mom hasn't contacted me back yet (it's been about a month since I reached out).

DNA testing has unearthed my entire biological family on both sides. It's kind of anticlimactic somehow.
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elliha

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Re: DNA Testing and Surprise Sibling!
« Reply #6 on: May 18, 2018, 06:14:23 AM »
My grandmother knew most of her life that her father was not her biological father and that she was born out of wedlock. When she was grown up she found out the truth. Her cousins were really her half-siblings and her mom was raped by her sister's husband. He had children by three women officially, two after greatgrandma's sister died, one out of which he was married to and the other he admitted to being the father of but did not marry. Given what happened there might be even more people we don't know about.
« Last Edit: May 18, 2018, 10:48:07 AM by elliha »

Poundwise

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Re: DNA Testing and Surprise Sibling!
« Reply #7 on: May 18, 2018, 09:45:13 AM »
Found out my mom's stepdad was her actual dad. Pretty earth shattering for her - she had always wished he was her dad since her "birth" (not really) dad wasn't in her life.

That must be quite a story. I guess her mother and step/father didn't know either? Otherwise what would be the point of telling your real daughter that she is your stepdaughter?

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Re: DNA Testing and Surprise Sibling!
« Reply #8 on: May 18, 2018, 10:13:25 AM »
Found out my mom's stepdad was her actual dad. Pretty earth shattering for her - she had always wished he was her dad since her "birth" (not really) dad wasn't in her life.

That must be quite a story. I guess her mother and step/father didn't know either? Otherwise what would be the point of telling your real daughter that she is your stepdaughter?

Maybe protecting your reputation if you were married to the fake-biological father at the time?

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Re: DNA Testing and Surprise Sibling!
« Reply #9 on: May 18, 2018, 10:35:21 AM »
Found out my mom's stepdad was her actual dad. Pretty earth shattering for her - she had always wished he was her dad since her "birth" (not really) dad wasn't in her life.

That must be quite a story. I guess her mother and step/father didn't know either? Otherwise what would be the point of telling your real daughter that she is your stepdaughter?

Maybe protecting your reputation if you were married to the fake-biological father at the time?

Yes, this. We have a similar situation on my Mom's side. Mom's mom was accused of having an affair when she got pregnant with her second child during her first marriage. They got divorced and she eventually married the man with whom she was accused of having an affair. She always swore it was her first husband's biological child, but he was adopted and raised by her second husband, and they later had two more kids together (including my mother). But it wouldn't surprise me in the least to find out that her "half-brother" is actually her full brother. I suspect some day we'll know for sure.
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fuzzy math

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Re: DNA Testing and Surprise Sibling!
« Reply #10 on: May 20, 2018, 04:32:03 PM »
Found out my mom's stepdad was her actual dad. Pretty earth shattering for her - she had always wished he was her dad since her "birth" (not really) dad wasn't in her life.

That must be quite a story. I guess her mother and step/father didn't know either? Otherwise what would be the point of telling your real daughter that she is your stepdaughter?
The man she was married to was abusive. I don't know if she knew but it seems almost impossible that she wouldn't have known. My sister is the spitting image of some family members from the step dad's side.  Grandma would have recognized it likely.

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fuzzy math

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Re: DNA Testing and Surprise Sibling!
« Reply #11 on: May 20, 2018, 04:33:43 PM »
Found out my mom's stepdad was her actual dad. Pretty earth shattering for her - she had always wished he was her dad since her "birth" (not really) dad wasn't in her life.

That must be quite a story. I guess her mother and step/father didn't know either? Otherwise what would be the point of telling your real daughter that she is your stepdaughter?

Maybe protecting your reputation if you were married to the fake-biological father at the time?

Yes, this. We have a similar situation on my Mom's side. Mom's mom was accused of having an affair when she got pregnant with her second child during her first marriage. They got divorced and she eventually married the man with whom she was accused of having an affair. She always swore it was her first husband's biological child, but he was adopted and raised by her second husband, and they later had two more kids together (including my mother). But it wouldn't surprise me in the least to find out that her "half-brother" is actually her full brother. I suspect some day we'll know for sure.
Ancestry was our key. I'd be surprised if no one on that side of the family had taken the test. My sister and I popped up with 2nd cousins from my mom's step dad's side. Only takes 1 person to verify!

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fuzzy math

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Re: DNA Testing and Surprise Sibling!
« Reply #12 on: May 20, 2018, 04:34:49 PM »
Found both biological parents. I was adopted at birth in a closed adoption. I made contact with both of them and actually got to talk on the phone with bio dad. Bio mom hasn't contacted me back yet (it's been about a month since I reached out).

DNA testing has unearthed my entire biological family on both sides. It's kind of anticlimactic somehow.
I'm so happy your bio dad responded! Hopefully you find what you were looking for and they're open to a relationship.

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Cassie

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Re: DNA Testing and Surprise Sibling!
« Reply #13 on: May 20, 2018, 04:55:26 PM »
My new half sister and I have been having a great time talking every day.

Drole

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Re: DNA Testing and Surprise Sibling!
« Reply #14 on: May 20, 2018, 05:03:43 PM »
I am going through this as well right now via adopted father. So far i've got family name and origin. My new first cousin has not yet responded but I did email with another cousin. 

calimom

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Re: DNA Testing and Surprise Sibling!
« Reply #15 on: May 21, 2018, 08:09:32 PM »
Cassie, do you plan on meeting your new sister IRL at some future point? It sounds like you're developing a great relationship.

My stepdaughter (DD1) has confided in me that she has considered doing the test but has shelved it for the time being. Her feelings jibe with my late husband's suspicion that he was not her bio father. She doesn't really share physical characteristics with her younger siblings (my bio kids) and might open a can of worms and create a further rift with her own bio mom - a relationship that's precarious at best. According to my late DH (but not shared by me to DD1), her mother was pretty….social, and possibly picked my DH out of the lot when she became pregnant. DD1 says she doesn't really want to know that the man who cared for her as an infant and was a single father before marrying me was not her actual father. And were that to turn out to be the truth, it would be hard for her and she's not sure she needs knowledge, let alone any relationship with an additional bio dad or finding out she has other half siblings. It wouldn't affect the great relationship she and I have always had. I adopted her after my husband's death.

Complicated but she's choosing to leave well enough alone at least for now. At 24 she's an adult and can make any decision she needs to and I'd support it. My husband has been dead close to 11 years. It would be an additional loss, and whatever gains might not mitigate that.

Cassie

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Re: DNA Testing and Surprise Sibling!
« Reply #16 on: May 21, 2018, 09:10:08 PM »
Yes she lives in Australia and we plan a trip in 2 years. We have 2 very old dogs that will be gone and we will take the baby with us.  My siblings want nothing to do with her but really no great loss for her.  My full sister and I don’t look anything alike since I look like my dad and she like my mom.  This is one of the best things that has ever happened to me