I'm a woman, but think that the risks and complications of vasectomy are very much played down. So sorry to hear of your experience Mike. My husband has an issue with the veins in his scrotum which would have made a vasectomy a very difficult procedure, there was no way we were going there. Instead I opted for a bilateral salpingectomy (removing of fallopian tubes) which is as far as birth control goes, as foolproof as it can get.
For comparison purposes only: It was day surgery, general anesthetic. A fair bit dearer than a vasectomy, but mostly covered by our insurance. Fairly nerve-wracking beforehand (due to fears from previous surgery in another country, completely unfounded here). The first few days were heavy on painkillers, low on activity. Then I started to do a little more here and there. It's now nearly 2 weeks on, I'm just a bit tired is all and still not supposed to lift anything heavy. 3 scars, glued, seem to be healing nicely. I'm taking it easy because I can, but to be fair if I had a desk job I could be at work now. Overall, incredibly happy about it.
I add in this experience because some couples may want some permanent birth control, yet this option tends to get overlooked. I think it's an excellent option, especially since salpingectomy reduces the risk of ovarian cancer. Which might be a way to sell it to a spouse if you want to avoid a vasectomy!