Author Topic: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?  (Read 3387 times)

AuspiciousEight

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This is a strange question, but what does your inner stream of consciousness feel like?

What do you think about constantly? What are you thinking about right now? 

Is it like a constant inner dialogue of past conversations, imagined future conversations, etc? If so, are these conversations from what you said previously or what you are about to say that gets repeated in your head, or is this more conversations and replays of things that other people have said to you, or imaginings of what other people might say to you?

Do you have a constant stream of feelings? Songs playing? Visual imagery? Imagined scenarios?

I was talking to DW today about this, and she says she has a constant stream of feelings and songs, and sometimes inner dialogue playing but the dialogue is from someone else's point of view, like what someone else said or what someone else might say, and the dialogue isn't constant. Sometimes there is not dialogue and just songs and feelings.

My inner stream of consciousness feels more like a constant inner dialogue of things I have said or imaginations about what I should say, but this is usually from my point of view. So it's just replaying the last thing I said usually, combined with some feelings here and there but the feelings usually aren't constant or consistent - they come and go.  Sometimes the dialogue is replaying what other people have said.

I'm not asking this question for any logical reasons, this is just for fun.

What does your inner stream of consciousness feel like everyday?

Fru-Gal

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #1 on: December 22, 2024, 04:30:55 PM »
Quote
Do you have a constant stream of feelings? Songs playing? Visual imagery? Imagined scenarios?

Mostly.

There are times when in the flow of working out, working on something, hiking, etc. when I have no thoughts.

Intrusive thoughts are also a drag but I've learned to (try to) not react to them, just say, thanks stupid brain and move on.

The mind is like a dog. It wants to help. When I was traveling recently to a place where the spoken language was that of my childhood, my mind decided to play on CONSTANT LOOP every childhood song I ever learned in that language. It was annoying.

My relationship to my mind is a million times better now than when I was younger, due to life experience, therapy and life achievement. It also improved after menopause. I think there is a lot of anxiety biologically connected to reproduction/possible reproduction and it is a blessing to have that turned off. That's why (and I am STILL SEARCHING for good sources of wisdom on this) some wise women say that menopause is a time when you return to your pre-puberty self, that of an adventurous unselfconscious ten-year-old girl. But you're also an accomplished person with no fucks to give. I love it.

Kris

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #2 on: December 22, 2024, 04:52:12 PM »
Yeah, just chaos. Thoughts, inner monologue, snippets of convo played over, song excerpts, ear worms, drum rhythms, running commentary on stuff… just constant noise.

JAYSLOL

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #3 on: December 22, 2024, 06:41:12 PM »
Yeah, just chaos. Thoughts, inner monologue, snippets of convo played over, song excerpts, ear worms, drum rhythms, running commentary on stuff… just constant noise.

+1

Jade

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #4 on: December 23, 2024, 02:35:31 AM »
Quote
Do you have a constant stream of feelings? Songs playing? Visual imagery? Imagined scenarios?

Mostly.

There are times when in the flow of working out, working on something, hiking, etc. when I have no thoughts.

Intrusive thoughts are also a drag but I've learned to (try to) not react to them, just say, thanks stupid brain and move on.

The mind is like a dog. It wants to help. When I was traveling recently to a place where the spoken language was that of my childhood, my mind decided to play on CONSTANT LOOP every childhood song I ever learned in that language. It was annoying.

My relationship to my mind is a million times better now than when I was younger, due to life experience, therapy and life achievement. It also improved after menopause. I think there is a lot of anxiety biologically connected to reproduction/possible reproduction and it is a blessing to have that turned off. That's why (and I am STILL SEARCHING for good sources of wisdom on this) some wise women say that menopause is a time when you return to your pre-puberty self, that of an adventurous unselfconscious ten-year-old girl. But you're also an accomplished person with no fucks to give. I love it.

Thanks for that useful info on menopause @Fru-Gal .. I'm in it (49) but what you wrote gives me hope. I'm not having the worst time (though developing fibromyalgia a few years ago wasn't fun and possibly related) and have started giving less fucks which is great after a lifetime of anxiety and people pleasing. An older friend described life in her 60s and post work, as the most free time of her life, as you referred to.

In answer to OPs question, a lot of reflecting on relationships, psychology, the meaning of life etc (INFP 🤪)  mixed in with general ruminating (though this has got a lot better and isn't as negative or compulsive as it used to be) and general observations about my life and other people around me. Also songs and ear worms as others have mentioned mixed in with grumbles about things that might be irritating me.

I have a generally friendly relationship with my brain these days on the whole though I can slip back into anxiety and some CPTSD stuff when stressed (and menopause is kicking that up a bit recently). I realised a while ago that my brain is always hungry for something to think about, it's just the way it is, so I've learnt not to stress about that like I used to and read a lot to keep it fed as well as doing things like crochet to switch off a bit when needed.
« Last Edit: December 23, 2024, 02:45:31 AM by Jade »

JupiterGreen

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #5 on: December 23, 2024, 05:14:41 AM »
Yeah, just chaos. Thoughts, inner monologue, snippets of convo played over, song excerpts, ear worms, drum rhythms, running commentary on stuff… just constant noise.

haha yes this 100%!

Cassie

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #6 on: December 23, 2024, 06:34:46 AM »
Yeah, just chaos. Thoughts, inner monologue, snippets of convo played over, song excerpts, ear worms, drum rhythms, running commentary on stuff… just constant noise.

This is a good description of my mind. If I think I handled something poorly I tend to ruminate on it. The older I get the less I care in general what people think.

ChpBstrd

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #7 on: December 23, 2024, 07:25:39 AM »
I realised a while ago that my brain is always hungry for something to think about, it's just the way it is, so I've learnt not to stress about that like I used to and read a lot to keep it fed as well as doing things like crochet to switch off a bit when needed.
I can relate to all of the above, and to this. My brain is constantly hungry for something to think about, and that tendency might lead to my over-use of the internet and digital entertainment, and my tendency to ruminate. I don't think I have ADHD or anything, and I live a rich, action-packed life, but no matter how much I feed the little sucker, it keeps begging for more.

I am aware that our most excellent work occurs in a state of flow or perfect focus, and I struggle with focus amid the songs that are constantly playing, the sports commentators describing what I'm doing and need to be doing, the dramatic conclusions that pop up only to be refuted by other conclusions, the tangental thoughts like yesterday's connection that the bent nail I was hammering was a metaphor on relationships, the fantasies of travel and accomplishment, the awareness of emotions - especially frustration, and the constant work of trying to tie various observations to key themes I'm constantly returning to like money, religion, health, and various philosophies.

Jade

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #8 on: December 23, 2024, 08:38:29 AM »
I realised a while ago that my brain is always hungry for something to think about, it's just the way it is, so I've learnt not to stress about that like I used to and read a lot to keep it fed as well as doing things like crochet to switch off a bit when needed.
I can relate to all of the above, and to this. My brain is constantly hungry for something to think about, and that tendency might lead to my over-use of the internet and digital entertainment, and my tendency to ruminate. I don't think I have ADHD or anything, and I live a rich, action-packed life, but no matter how much I feed the little sucker, it keeps begging for more.

I am aware that our most excellent work occurs in a state of flow or perfect focus, and I struggle with focus amid the songs that are constantly playing, the sports commentators describing what I'm doing and need to be doing, the dramatic conclusions that pop up only to be refuted by other conclusions, the tangental thoughts like yesterday's connection that the bent nail I was hammering was a metaphor on relationships, the fantasies of travel and accomplishment, the awareness of emotions - especially frustration, and the constant work of trying to tie various observations to key themes I'm constantly returning to like money, religion, health, and various philosophies.

Great minds think alike! ;) it's tiring at times though, isn't it? Yep my little sucker is constantly hungry too..it's an adventure for sure. I heard an analogy recently on a podcast about mental health that resonated . They were saying that brains like ours are a bit like a fast car without a manual. It can cause mayhem when we're younger and don't know how to handle it but as we get used to it, we can enjoy the ride more... Here's hoping!

Fru-Gal

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #9 on: December 23, 2024, 09:49:47 AM »
I realised a while ago that my brain is always hungry for something to think about, it's just the way it is, so I've learnt not to stress about that like I used to and read a lot to keep it fed as well as doing things like crochet to switch off a bit when needed.
I can relate to all of the above, and to this. My brain is constantly hungry for something to think about, and that tendency might lead to my over-use of the internet and digital entertainment, and my tendency to ruminate. I don't think I have ADHD or anything, and I live a rich, action-packed life, but no matter how much I feed the little sucker, it keeps begging for more.

I am aware that our most excellent work occurs in a state of flow or perfect focus, and I struggle with focus amid the songs that are constantly playing, the sports commentators describing what I'm doing and need to be doing, the dramatic conclusions that pop up only to be refuted by other conclusions, the tangental thoughts like yesterday's connection that the bent nail I was hammering was a metaphor on relationships, the fantasies of travel and accomplishment, the awareness of emotions - especially frustration, and the constant work of trying to tie various observations to key themes I'm constantly returning to like money, religion, health, and various philosophies.

This also why I work out. Sometimes there’s a thread of ennui, depression, confusion, overwhelm, whatever… a good weight lifting session or a good run or yoga class takes care of it. I used to call running “processing”. Literally I would start the run with my brain very active as described above and end it with the brain is totally calm and tired out. Do I always follow this advice? Of course not, sometimes I just wallow in it and feel like shit.

It would not surprise me in the least that people on this forum have similar proclivities in our thought processes. I consider it a blessing.

My teens sometimes would tell me I had ADHD. I would say nope, I’m just curious and excited! (Obligatory “I’m not slamming ADHD” disclaimer).

Sibley

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #10 on: December 23, 2024, 10:26:26 AM »
My brain is generally nice and empty. I don't hear or see things in my mind. I can't close my eyes and see something. I have no internal monologue as you describe it. When I get a song stuck in my head (and I do) it's an urge to sing or hum it.

Jade

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #11 on: December 23, 2024, 10:29:55 AM »
I realised a while ago that my brain is always hungry for something to think about, it's just the way it is, so I've learnt not to stress about that like I used to and read a lot to keep it fed as well as doing things like crochet to switch off a bit when needed.
I can relate to all of the above, and to this. My brain is constantly hungry for something to think about, and that tendency might lead to my over-use of the internet and digital entertainment, and my tendency to ruminate. I don't think I have ADHD or anything, and I live a rich, action-packed life, but no matter how much I feed the little sucker, it keeps begging for more.

I am aware that our most excellent work occurs in a state of flow or perfect focus, and I struggle with focus amid the songs that are constantly playing, the sports commentators describing what I'm doing and need to be doing, the dramatic conclusions that pop up only to be refuted by other conclusions, the tangental thoughts like yesterday's connection that the bent nail I was hammering was a metaphor on relationships, the fantasies of travel and accomplishment, the awareness of emotions - especially frustration, and the constant work of trying to tie various observations to key themes I'm constantly returning to like money, religion, health, and various philosophies.

This also why I work out. Sometimes there’s a thread of ennui, depression, confusion, overwhelm, whatever… a good weight lifting session or a good run or yoga class takes care of it. I used to call running “processing”. Literally I would start the run with my brain very active as described above and end it with the brain is totally calm and tired out. Do I always follow this advice? Of course not, sometimes I just wallow in it and feel like shit.

It would not surprise me in the least that people on this forum have similar proclivities in our thought processes. I consider it a blessing.

My teens sometimes would tell me I had ADHD. I would say nope, I’m just curious and excited! (Obligatory “I’m not slamming ADHD” disclaimer).

I find exercise very helpful too. I have a lot of ADHD tendancies though I don't have it either. Yes to the curious and excited too!

ChpBstrd

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #12 on: December 23, 2024, 10:50:04 AM »
I realised a while ago that my brain is always hungry for something to think about, it's just the way it is, so I've learnt not to stress about that like I used to and read a lot to keep it fed as well as doing things like crochet to switch off a bit when needed.
I can relate to all of the above, and to this. My brain is constantly hungry for something to think about, and that tendency might lead to my over-use of the internet and digital entertainment, and my tendency to ruminate. I don't think I have ADHD or anything, and I live a rich, action-packed life, but no matter how much I feed the little sucker, it keeps begging for more.

I am aware that our most excellent work occurs in a state of flow or perfect focus, and I struggle with focus amid the songs that are constantly playing, the sports commentators describing what I'm doing and need to be doing, the dramatic conclusions that pop up only to be refuted by other conclusions, the tangental thoughts like yesterday's connection that the bent nail I was hammering was a metaphor on relationships, the fantasies of travel and accomplishment, the awareness of emotions - especially frustration, and the constant work of trying to tie various observations to key themes I'm constantly returning to like money, religion, health, and various philosophies.

This also why I work out. Sometimes there’s a thread of ennui, depression, confusion, overwhelm, whatever… a good weight lifting session or a good run or yoga class takes care of it. I used to call running “processing”. Literally I would start the run with my brain very active as described above and end it with the brain is totally calm and tired out. Do I always follow this advice? Of course not, sometimes I just wallow in it and feel like shit.

It would not surprise me in the least that people on this forum have similar proclivities in our thought processes. I consider it a blessing.

My teens sometimes would tell me I had ADHD. I would say nope, I’m just curious and excited! (Obligatory “I’m not slamming ADHD” disclaimer).

I find exercise very helpful too. I have a lot of ADHD tendancies though I don't have it either. Yes to the curious and excited too!
I've tried meditation, but I think I'm not doing it right. The brain starts to panic like a person having a pillow shoved down on their face. "You can't make me not think!" it says.

Even if I succeed at focusing on my own breaths, my brain is busy analyzing those breaths for unevenness, rhythm, ...hey maybe we could make music out of this? STFU brain!

My brain is generally nice and empty. I don't hear or see things in my mind. I can't close my eyes and see something. I have no internal monologue as you describe it. When I get a song stuck in my head (and I do) it's an urge to sing or hum it.
If you can sell this, I will buy it.

Fru-Gal

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #13 on: December 23, 2024, 11:09:11 AM »
Wow @Sibley that is so interesting!

I was gonna say, too, that meditation as a cure-all has been overhyped and is also even dangerous to some. There are risks of depersonalization/derealization/dissociation. For some people, too much talk of reality as a malleable phenomenon, a la Eastern religion/New Thought/multiverse/simulation type stuff, is dangerous and unsettling.

I love that kind of stuff, but I also have an excellent grasp on reality (“reality is what’s still there when you stop believing in everything else”) and an innate desire for control of my surroundings. I don’t drink/drug, and very “advanced” meditation practices like the CIA tapes stuff scare me.

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #14 on: December 23, 2024, 11:37:45 AM »
Mostly it's a low grade chatter about things I need to do, or follow up on, or should be doing (and how to prioritize them).

When I'm meditating, mindfully being outside, or engaged in exercise, those thoughts slow down or dissipate and I engage with my body and senses (much preferable). I'm very bad about prioritizing hobbies, but when I do I sometimes achieve full engagement and flow state with them and my mental chatter is quiet.

Occasionally I have thoughts about past events, emotional stuff, etc. as life circumstances trigger them, but that's not the bulk of my mental chatter.

Villanelle

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #15 on: December 23, 2024, 12:04:11 PM »
Yeah, just chaos. Thoughts, inner monologue, snippets of convo played over, song excerpts, ear worms, drum rhythms, running commentary on stuff… just constant noise.

+1

When I read the OP, I wasn't sure what my answer was, but I think this sums it up pretty perfectly. 

oneday

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #16 on: December 23, 2024, 12:39:01 PM »
My inner dialog is sometimes busy, sometimes quiet. There is a voice that seems like someone else's voice sometimes. Before I was on a certain medication, I woke up with a different song in my head every day. Now it's only some days. Sometimes I dwell on the past or have imagined future conversations. The latter, I think they are sometimes practice for handling tricky social situations. It's more auditory that visual. Like, I have a hard time spelling tricky words (souffle) unless I can see it written out because I can't see it written out in my head.

If I have something to work on, I can get into a state of flow fairly easily and all that other stuff is gone. I knit & crochet, so sometimes while doing that I'm just counting or reciting the pattern to myself silently.

I've tried meditation, but I think I'm not doing it right. The brain starts to panic like a person having a pillow shoved down on their face. "You can't make me not think!" it says.

Even if I succeed at focusing on my own breaths, my brain is busy analyzing those breaths for unevenness, rhythm, ...hey maybe we could make music out of this? STFU brain!

I had a panic reaction when I tried to meditate for 4 minutes instead of 30 seconds. I have been meditating with a yoga class, led by the instructor, once a week for 8 months, for a similar amount of time. But doing it on my own was different somehow. I ratcheted the time back down and that alleviated the problem. Do you ever not have the panic reaction?

My understanding is that you can't quiet your brain by trying to quiet your brain...that it will start to happen at some point, but the first step is to learn how to let thoughts go. Just notice them & let them go. The quieting hasn't happened for me yet. I think I'm getting better at letting thoughts go, but I still do latch on to quite a few of them.

PeteD01

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #17 on: December 23, 2024, 01:34:02 PM »
Trying to quiet down one's thinking during meditation doesn't just not work; attempting this is one of fastest ways to experience adversarial monkey mind: 


Understanding the Monkey Mind with Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-JiQubfMPg
« Last Edit: December 23, 2024, 01:36:28 PM by PeteD01 »

Luke Warm

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #18 on: December 23, 2024, 02:26:39 PM »
I usually have a song running through my head over and over. It's mostly new songs I've heard that I like but sometimes it's the theme song from 'The Dukes of Hazard'. I also keep an ongoing story in my head that I keep adding to or rewriting. That helps if I can't sleep. Sometimes I'm imagining conversations with people like recounting something that happened. It would be interesting if we could record these streams of consciousness just to see what's happening that we're not aware of.

oneday

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #19 on: December 23, 2024, 04:43:10 PM »
Trying to quiet down one's thinking during meditation doesn't just not work; attempting this is one of fastest ways to experience adversarial monkey mind: 


Understanding the Monkey Mind with Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-JiQubfMPg

This is interesting, thanks.

Fru-Gal

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #20 on: December 23, 2024, 05:34:44 PM »
Here’s this neuroscientist who focuses on the risks of meditation as it is marketed and applied in secular tradition, pulled out of broader community/spirituality/behavioral constraints. Really interesting stuff!

https://youtu.be/raorMfUYPDk

Here’s a longer one, again, fascinating. It confirms (for me) my instincts against ceding control to gurus and the like.

https://youtu.be/KpZBENXzutM

It reminds me of a recent situation. I have practiced yoga for decades. I know the poses that I can do well, those that are aspirational for me, and those that my body simply won’t allow. In this particular class, the instructor guided us to backbends. A woman in her 60s began insisting loudly to the instructor that she “help” (force) her into the position. The instructor is a very gentle person and had trouble saying no, though she very kindly and rationally explained the dangers to the woman and what would be first steps.

It was a classic example of having no respect for a practice and also assuming that something that can take years to build up to can just be coached into practice on the very first try. Not to mention the fact that it’s dangerous!


Just Joe

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #21 on: December 23, 2024, 05:55:37 PM »
Sometimes I'm sorting out the schoolyard disputes from 1981. ;)

Not much inner dialog unless I'm working on something, then I'm planning every step of the way.

At night before sleep, I'm doing the night time equivalent of day dreaming.

I dread earworm music b/c I can usually only remember the chorus and it repeats alot before something helps distract me. 

cpa cat

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #22 on: December 23, 2024, 06:15:23 PM »
My brain is generally nice and empty. I don't hear or see things in my mind. I can't close my eyes and see something. I have no internal monologue as you describe it. When I get a song stuck in my head (and I do) it's an urge to sing or hum it.

Same as Sibley. I have thoughts, but there’s no voice or anything. There is no sound, no images, no color, no music. That doesn’t mean I can’t have anxious thoughts or ruminate on things: I can and do. It’s just sort of a silent monologue, the same as reading.

I (and Sibley, probably) have a condition called Aphantasia, which means we lack the ability to form mental images. There is a high correlation between Aphantasia and the inability to imagine smells or sounds. Personally, I don’t get songs stuck in my head, because the moment I stop hearing them, I have a hard time repeating the tune.

twinstudy

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #23 on: December 24, 2024, 01:30:42 AM »
My inner monologue is like a little movie playing in my head. I'm the director behind the camera and I can observe or create scenes as I like. I'm not great at recreating smells, but words, sounds, images and music are clear to me, and I find it easy to imagine or recreate scenes.  I often practise thinking things or working things out in my head in the shower or while walking or driving, usually in dialogue form.

When I am under pressure and in a state of flow - for example, when I was younger and I was playing an audition piece; or these days, when I am in the middle of a trial - I usually retreat into my own head, and watch myself speak or act in the third person, which helps me to calm my nerves and detach from the situation.
« Last Edit: December 24, 2024, 01:34:57 AM by twinstudy »

rosarugosa

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #24 on: December 24, 2024, 05:10:33 AM »
I don't really have anything to add that hasn't already been said, but I do want to thank the OP for asking the question.  I've found it fascinating to ponder, and it's not anything I've really considered before.  I'm in the swirling chaos, constant songs, running to-do list camp.  I think about Life, The Universe, and Everything. I'm a pretty happy and enthusiastic person, so the "little voice" in my head is mostly upbeat.

I do a short meditation session every day, and it's not easy/almost impossible to clear my mind, so at best, I probably achieve this for a couple of minutes each session.  I do manage to briefly calm the to-do list chatter though, and spend a little bit of time focusing on the here and now reality that I am happy, comfortable, in my own room, in my own house, feeling good mentally and physically and how fortunate I am for all of that.

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #25 on: December 24, 2024, 09:47:43 AM »
My brain is generally nice and empty. I don't hear or see things in my mind. I can't close my eyes and see something. I have no internal monologue as you describe it. When I get a song stuck in my head (and I do) it's an urge to sing or hum it.

Same as Sibley. I have thoughts, but there’s no voice or anything. There is no sound, no images, no color, no music. That doesn’t mean I can’t have anxious thoughts or ruminate on things: I can and do. It’s just sort of a silent monologue, the same as reading.

I (and Sibley, probably) have a condition called Aphantasia, which means we lack the ability to form mental images. There is a high correlation between Aphantasia and the inability to imagine smells or sounds. Personally, I don’t get songs stuck in my head, because the moment I stop hearing them, I have a hard time repeating the tune.

Yep, I'm with you there. No metal images, no mental smells or sounds. And getting songs stuck in my head is quite frustrating because I'll want to sing/hum them but not remember the tune.

It also seems to hamper me in other activities. I've been doing ballroom dance this year for fun, and I'm fine with the simple stuff but once it gets more complicated I just can't remember what I'm doing. I also have a hard time with interior decorating because I can't visualize.

But at the same time, if I see something particularly traumatic, because I can't actually remember the image/sounds etc it helps it impact me less. Or perhaps differently. Regardless, I'll be less impacted or at least far more functional that someone else who saw the same thing. But I'm basically useless as a visual witness.

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #26 on: December 24, 2024, 10:26:25 AM »
My brain is generally nice and empty. I don't hear or see things in my mind. I can't close my eyes and see something. I have no internal monologue as you describe it. When I get a song stuck in my head (and I do) it's an urge to sing or hum it.

Same as Sibley. I have thoughts, but there’s no voice or anything. There is no sound, no images, no color, no music. That doesn’t mean I can’t have anxious thoughts or ruminate on things: I can and do. It’s just sort of a silent monologue, the same as reading.

I (and Sibley, probably) have a condition called Aphantasia, which means we lack the ability to form mental images. There is a high correlation between Aphantasia and the inability to imagine smells or sounds. Personally, I don’t get songs stuck in my head, because the moment I stop hearing them, I have a hard time repeating the tune.

Yep, I'm with you there. No metal images, no mental smells or sounds. And getting songs stuck in my head is quite frustrating because I'll want to sing/hum them but not remember the tune.

It also seems to hamper me in other activities. I've been doing ballroom dance this year for fun, and I'm fine with the simple stuff but once it gets more complicated I just can't remember what I'm doing. I also have a hard time with interior decorating because I can't visualize.

But at the same time, if I see something particularly traumatic, because I can't actually remember the image/sounds etc it helps it impact me less. Or perhaps differently. Regardless, I'll be less impacted or at least far more functional that someone else who saw the same thing. But I'm basically useless as a visual witness.

Same here.  I dream in colour and sound, but in waking life if I close my eyes I see basic black, with bits of gray.  Counting sheep to go to sleep was something I never understood as a child - my black sheep would  be jumping over black fences at midnight with no moon and pouring rain.

I'm bad at faces.  I can't plan decorating or clothing colour combinations in my head, I have to see them.  Same for spelling.

Hearing is fine, I have the inner monologue, and discussions, and sometimes running through possible dialogues for various situations.  I remember songs. It is interesting when I am reading music and the notes don't agree with what my inner music says they should be.

Tyson

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #27 on: December 24, 2024, 11:09:27 AM »
I used to have a constant running dialog in my head, mostly around topics of optimizing my current decisions into the future.  Playing out different scenarios and likely outcomes in real time.  I also had a lot of negative self-talk about being 'lazy'.

Mostly that voice has dialed back and the constant planning has turned off.  It's nice to have a bit of peace now.

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #28 on: December 24, 2024, 11:24:19 AM »
My brain is generally nice and empty. I don't hear or see things in my mind. I can't close my eyes and see something. I have no internal monologue as you describe it. When I get a song stuck in my head (and I do) it's an urge to sing or hum it.

Same as Sibley. I have thoughts, but there’s no voice or anything. There is no sound, no images, no color, no music. That doesn’t mean I can’t have anxious thoughts or ruminate on things: I can and do. It’s just sort of a silent monologue, the same as reading.

I (and Sibley, probably) have a condition called Aphantasia, which means we lack the ability to form mental images. There is a high correlation between Aphantasia and the inability to imagine smells or sounds. Personally, I don’t get songs stuck in my head, because the moment I stop hearing them, I have a hard time repeating the tune.

Yep, I'm with you there. No metal images, no mental smells or sounds. And getting songs stuck in my head is quite frustrating because I'll want to sing/hum them but not remember the tune.

It also seems to hamper me in other activities. I've been doing ballroom dance this year for fun, and I'm fine with the simple stuff but once it gets more complicated I just can't remember what I'm doing. I also have a hard time with interior decorating because I can't visualize.

But at the same time, if I see something particularly traumatic, because I can't actually remember the image/sounds etc it helps it impact me less. Or perhaps differently. Regardless, I'll be less impacted or at least far more functional that someone else who saw the same thing. But I'm basically useless as a visual witness.

What happens when you read? For me the mental images are just like a movie and I'll forget the text is there. Funny thing is, I have trouble with fiction audiobooks because I visualize text on a page and sort of overlay the images of what's happening in the story which makes it hard to concentrate if I'm doing another activity like driving.  With nonfiction I can multitask because I only visualize the printed words if they are unfamiliar or in a foreign language. I sometimes see mental subtitles when people are talking to me or even with overheard conversation, especially when it's difficult to hear because of background noise or they  are speaking Spanish (I can understand some but I'm not fluent).

 I only realized that not everyone does this when I was trying to help my kid learn spelling and he didn't understand what I meant by "picture how it looks on the page then copy it"



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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #29 on: December 24, 2024, 01:25:40 PM »
My brain is generally nice and empty. I don't hear or see things in my mind. I can't close my eyes and see something. I have no internal monologue as you describe it. When I get a song stuck in my head (and I do) it's an urge to sing or hum it.

Same as Sibley. I have thoughts, but there’s no voice or anything. There is no sound, no images, no color, no music. That doesn’t mean I can’t have anxious thoughts or ruminate on things: I can and do. It’s just sort of a silent monologue, the same as reading.

I (and Sibley, probably) have a condition called Aphantasia, which means we lack the ability to form mental images. There is a high correlation between Aphantasia and the inability to imagine smells or sounds. Personally, I don’t get songs stuck in my head, because the moment I stop hearing them, I have a hard time repeating the tune.

Yep, I'm with you there. No metal images, no mental smells or sounds. And getting songs stuck in my head is quite frustrating because I'll want to sing/hum them but not remember the tune.

It also seems to hamper me in other activities. I've been doing ballroom dance this year for fun, and I'm fine with the simple stuff but once it gets more complicated I just can't remember what I'm doing. I also have a hard time with interior decorating because I can't visualize.

But at the same time, if I see something particularly traumatic, because I can't actually remember the image/sounds etc it helps it impact me less. Or perhaps differently. Regardless, I'll be less impacted or at least far more functional that someone else who saw the same thing. But I'm basically useless as a visual witness.

What happens when you read? For me the mental images are just like a movie and I'll forget the text is there. Funny thing is, I have trouble with fiction audiobooks because I visualize text on a page and sort of overlay the images of what's happening in the story which makes it hard to concentrate if I'm doing another activity like driving.  With nonfiction I can multitask because I only visualize the printed words if they are unfamiliar or in a foreign language. I sometimes see mental subtitles when people are talking to me or even with overheard conversation, especially when it's difficult to hear because of background noise or they  are speaking Spanish (I can understand some but I'm not fluent).

 I only realized that not everyone does this when I was trying to help my kid learn spelling and he didn't understand what I meant by "picture how it looks on the page then copy it"

I realized other people could visualize in their head when DD couldn't understand why I couldn't see what should go in empty Sudoku spots.  She could.

iris lily

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #30 on: December 24, 2024, 01:55:16 PM »
Generally I talk to myself about future projects AND congratulate myself about how my house looks because it is cute. Making it cute is an ongoing project for me.This is my Happy Self Talk.

But there is a darker path…

The past few months I have been talking to myself to keep horrific images out of my head. I won’t be specific as to the triggers for me but damn it is awful how often I stumble upon them. Like, I am innocently scrolling thru a web page or skimming a book unrelated to triggers and BAM! There is one.

Lately, I have also been having weird guilt memories of past things in my life creep into my head. Ok a little of that keeps me humble, reminds me not to repeat abhorrent actions, and honestly, reassures me that I am not some sort of psychopath. Psychos don’t feel,guilt. But I have to push ugly thoughts away to have a balance.

« Last Edit: December 24, 2024, 01:59:09 PM by iris lily »

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #31 on: December 24, 2024, 02:28:57 PM »
Yeah, the intrusive thoughts are a total bitch. In my experience, you really have to not “push them away” or resist them in any way. It’s like dealing with a child. A real mean one! Ignore, redirect, praise the good behavior. It sounds like you’re doing that with the positive self talk about your house and projects. I also talk to myself out loud a ton.

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #32 on: December 24, 2024, 02:47:21 PM »
What happens when you read?

It’s hard to explain to someone who has a visual imagination, but basically nothing happens when I read. It’s like speaking, except silently, in my head. I don’t picture what characters look like or what they sound like. Despite my imaginative defect, I enjoy reading and it’s my primary hobby. I process text really quickly and easily.

Tyson

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #33 on: December 24, 2024, 02:57:08 PM »
What happens when you read?

It’s hard to explain to someone who has a visual imagination, but basically nothing happens when I read. It’s like speaking, except silently, in my head. I don’t picture what characters look like or what they sound like. Despite my imaginative defect, I enjoy reading and it’s my primary hobby. I process text really quickly and easily.

This is true of me too.  I don't completely lack visual imagination, I can do it but it takes work.  I do find that listening to an audiobook frees up my visual imagination a bit more, so I will often listen to fiction via an audiobook.  On the other hand, non-fiction I often read myself as it's faster/easier to just have the information straight uploaded into my brain. 

crocheted_stache

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #34 on: December 24, 2024, 04:19:34 PM »
I'd say the best summary is the T-shirt: "My brain has way too many tabs open. Four of them are frozen, and I have no idea where the music is coming from."

Also, the act of writing about it changes the thoughts, but here goes...

There is always an earworm. Today, I woke up with two, getting along remarkably well: the Peter Gunn theme by Henry Mancini, and Ravel's Bolero. If I were a little more talented with such things, I might try a mashup of the two in the same key. There are a couple guys doing videos of two songs at once, whom I can't find, of course, and I don't remember their names. I played a melody instrument, so I'm conscious that many popular songs use the same chord sequences (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pidokakU4I), but I'm not quite up to spotting them*, and I don't know if my current two would mesh like that, or only in certain parts, or just make a mess. Unless they make a great mash-up like that, I'm not really interested in listening to two musics at once. They clash. I don't love when stores play music, not least because I bring my own, and it displaces and sometimes replaces that.

*I was surprised to discover I have long-term pitch memory—I realized I was sounding out a song in the wrong key when it didn't feel right until I did it over in the key of the recording I'd heard, even though I hadn't heard the recording lately. I don't have absolute ("perfect") pitch, and it always astounds me when someone who has absolute pitch pronounces that some sound happens to be the note G or that the entire piano has gone nearly a half-tone flat.

And if that's how much I have to say about the songs currently in my head, it's safe to say I'm not getting as much of everything else done today as I'd like. My brain (and I suspect also my space) are apparently the opposite of @Sibley 's. For me, this is normal, and just who I am.

Typos, litter, and things out of place are often thought-interrupts, but my house is cluttered and seldom tidy. Do NOT move my piles, or I will never find anything, ever again. DH, fortunately, knows this, but it means that tidying needs to be almost entirely my job, and he's a little afraid of it.

The to-do list might get done if I hand over some of it to DH. The only time-sensitive part is to decide what foods we're bringing to family gathering tomorrow (basically done), and make sure to procure ingredients before stores close (unless we can't find something, in case we'll need a new plan). There's a bunch of other stuff I'll poke at if and when I'm inclined.

I have a new phone for the first time in four years, and the transition is going to be a PITA, so I've been putting that off. Need to get to it while there's still a warranty, though, and before the old one sputters out, as it seems to be starting to do.

I have all the tools out to install the two screws to mount a hook. I have the hook. And the screws. It's probably not getting done today, either, because it's going to involve remembering to bring objects upstairs from downstairs. Also, it requires sitting on the floor, and sitting on the floor bugs me more these days than I care to admit. Still, it's closer than it's been in a long time.

There are comments I've been meaning to compile for the benefit of someone who's going to both roll their eyes and be gratified that somebody actually read their whole report on a niche subject. I might eventually get them together. Time off is both good and bad for such things. I seem to get the most done when I'm procrastinating about something else.  There is hyper-focus and anti-focus, and I can sometimes steer a little, but I don't get to choose.

I slept badly last night, probably because I almost got enough sleep yesterday, for once. It makes everything that much more scattered. This is all way too normal for me, and I'm both accustomed to it and still frustrated. I have some coping strategies and ability to push through when it matters. The rest, I just have to forgive myself for and kind of let it be.

When I put it that way, it's kind of a wonder anything gets done at all.

AerynLee

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #35 on: December 24, 2024, 05:08:51 PM »
Oof, constant noise. Literally constant. Earworms, to-do lists, planning, me narrating out a memory or thought process to *someone*. I can also fixate on imagining scenarios. The recent thread on if FIRE plans can survive divorce or death of an SO put me into a weird rabbit hole for days that I couldn't turn off.

Sometimes I have to purposely plant an earworm to override an existing one, like an annoying song, one I only know a teeny-tiny part of, or a random phrase that's just on loop

I have a very hard time falling asleep because it does.not.turn.off. The only thing I've found that helps is playing old tv shows (Simpsons, Futurama, South Park, etc)

There is little to no visual to go with it though. I am a very non-visual person, I can be having a conversation with someone, close my eyes, and not be able to tell if you if they are wearing glasses. I've always joked that I'd be terrible at giving a description to a police sketch artist, but then I had to give a witness statement for an incident and was, in fact, completely useless. I also can't spell words out loud but am a decent speller in writing. I have to physically see it in front of me to know how to spell. Reading books or listen to audiobooks is just words, I don't "see" the story in my mind, and I am an avid reader.

I'm pretty sure DH is on the other end of it. I would do unspeakable things to have that kind of silence
« Last Edit: December 24, 2024, 07:01:44 PM by AerynLee »

RetiredAt63

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #36 on: December 24, 2024, 06:20:28 PM »
^^  mine turns on at 3 am.  Not always, but enough to be annoying.  Usually when I really want a good sleep.

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #37 on: December 24, 2024, 09:08:37 PM »
Those with some form of aphantasia (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aphantasia), do you know if you see images or hear music when you dream, that you don't when awake?

I'm more on the brain-won't-shut-up side of things, and I'm surprised that @AerynLee seems to have the audio but not the visual in this always-on mode.

I've dreamed in languages I've studied, using more in the dream than I consciously know. Language and words will sometimes get stuck in my head the way music does. I've had the experience of taking a test where I know where on the textbook page the answer is, but not what the answer is. When I say nobody must move my piles, it's because I have a visual memory of where things are. Typos both look and sound wrong to me. It's useful sometimes, but some of this stuff is taking up space that would be better used some other way.

Morning Glory

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #38 on: December 24, 2024, 09:35:38 PM »

I've dreamed in languages I've studied, using more in the dream than I consciously know. Language and words will sometimes get stuck in my head the way music does. I've had the experience of taking a test where I know where on the textbook page the answer is, but not what the answer is. When I say nobody must move my piles, it's because I have a visual memory of where things are. Typos both look and sound wrong to me. It's useful sometimes, but some of this stuff is taking up space that would be better used some other way.

This is me too. I was a page-visualizer in college and people assumed I had a photographic memory but it's not quite the same. I also spot typos without looking for them.

I seem to put more detail into the layout of the places than the people or decorations when dreaming or reading.  Lots of dreams about walking convoluted paths through an unfamiliar building or garden. When I make a grocery list I do an imaginary walk through the store. 

crocheted_stache

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #39 on: December 25, 2024, 12:32:08 AM »
To an appropriately catchy tune: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vaG4vGsIFMQ

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #40 on: December 25, 2024, 01:50:01 AM »
Quote
Lots of dreams about walking convoluted paths through an unfamiliar building or garden. When I make a grocery list I do an imaginary walk through the store

Cool! These are memory palaces, and you just naturally do them! Wow!

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #41 on: December 25, 2024, 01:55:14 AM »
Oof, constant noise. Literally constant. Earworms, to-do lists, planning, me narrating out a memory or thought process to *someone*. I can also fixate on imagining scenarios. The recent thread on if FIRE plans can survive divorce or death of an SO put me into a weird rabbit hole for days that I couldn't turn off.

Sorry you have a funky brain too but thanks for sharing about being in a weird rabbit hole for days after reading a thread. My hubby anxiety have similar brains.

Jade

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #42 on: December 25, 2024, 02:07:24 AM »
Oof, constant noise. Literally constant. Earworms, to-do lists, planning, me narrating out a memory or thought process to *someone*. I can also fixate on imagining scenarios. The recent thread on if FIRE plans can survive divorce or death of an SO put me into a weird rabbit hole for days that I couldn't turn off.

Sorry you have a funky brain too but thanks for sharing about being in a weird rabbit hole for days after reading a thread. My hubby anxiety have similar brains.

Ps I have the same thing with spotting typos that others mentioned though not so much of the other things. I feel more of a visual learner, I prefer to see things rather than audio.

Luke Warm

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #43 on: December 25, 2024, 06:53:01 AM »
There's also the low volume screaming of my tinnitus.
When I read I visualize the story. Probably not in great detail but I have an idea what people look like and the scenery. It seems to be the same way with my dreams. That tends to be why tv and movie adaptations usually disappoint me.

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #44 on: December 25, 2024, 06:59:21 AM »
Those with some form of aphantasia (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aphantasia), do you know if you see images or hear music when you dream, that you don't when awake?


I read somewhere that your visual cortex doesn’t shut down while dreaming, and that dream images are different because your visual cortex processes them, so you really are “seeing” them, and this explains why people with aphantasia can and do dream with imagery.

 My perception is that I also hear things in my dreams, including songs, so I assume the same theory applies: that the parts of your brain that processes your actual senses are in play while you dream, unlike when you’re using your imagination while awake.



NotJen

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #45 on: December 25, 2024, 10:30:55 AM »
I'm more on the brain-won't-shut-up side of things, and I'm surprised that @AerynLee seems to have the audio but not the visual in this always-on mode.

I’m the same - my brain is having a constant conversation with itself, reading happens “out loud” inside my head - but I don’t really visualize anything. 

I can’t read in dreams - not sure what that means.  I’m very aware that I’m just making shit up because the “words” are nonsense whenever I have to read in a dream.

I can’t imagine a silent mind, and wouldn’t want one.  I love talking to myself - it’s freaking hilarious up there.

PeteD01

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #46 on: December 25, 2024, 01:23:43 PM »
Trying to quiet down one's thinking during meditation doesn't just not work; attempting this is one of fastest ways to experience adversarial monkey mind: 


Understanding the Monkey Mind with Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-JiQubfMPg

This is interesting, thanks.

This talk goes a little deeper. Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche had an anxiety disorder and panic attacks himself and really seems trustworthy in these matters:


Can Meditation Be Dangerous with Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VzeYD2VY5o

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #47 on: December 26, 2024, 06:15:03 AM »
My mind is running constantly.  I'm running through my to-do lists for optimization purposes.  Sometimes ear worms and usually not something I like!  Then I'm planning.  We have irregular income, so I feel like I'm constantly trying to estimate and work out how to distribute my estimates into categories.  Another thing I do that sometimes makes me crazy is that I count.  Well, I just stirred my oatmeal 7 times.  Should I do an extra 3 stirs and make it an even 10, or is 7 stirs being edgy?  It took 12 steps to get to the kitchen.  Who cares?

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #48 on: December 26, 2024, 07:19:48 AM »
My mind is pretty much always going, it's very rare to have a quiet moment. It's usually conversation to myself about things that happened, things I need to do, things people might be thinking about me or interactions we've had, plans I want to make, random thoughts about business ideas or politics or story ideas, etc. Sometimes it's repeating bits of song or sounds that I fit along to whatever I'm doing.

The few times I've tried to meditate, it hasn't shut off. But there's a really great short Roald Dahl story about meditating into a flame that sparked my interest, I just have a hard time following through on many of the ideas that cross my mind, unless there's an outside impetus to act.

AerynLee

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Re: What does your inner stream of consciousness sound and feel like?
« Reply #49 on: December 26, 2024, 07:48:02 AM »
Another thing I do that sometimes makes me crazy is that I count.  Well, I just stirred my oatmeal 7 times.  Should I do an extra 3 stirs and make it an even 10, or is 7 stirs being edgy?  It took 12 steps to get to the kitchen.  Who cares?
Oh the counting. That has gone down for me as an adult, probably because my job title literally has counting in it (accounting), but I still do this too