Author Topic: Tracking apps like Life360; giving up last bits of privacy in marriage  (Read 2152 times)

Samuel

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Re: Tracking apps like Life360; giving up last bits of privacy in marriage
« Reply #50 on: November 08, 2018, 09:19:08 AM »
A couple of my best friends and I use a "find my friends" app on occasion to simplify rendezvousing at events. I've also used it with significant others (after perhaps a year of dating).

The key thing is that it's easy to start/stop sharing your location. I only turn it on when I know it's needed (others leave it on all the time).

That level of convenience makes sense to me, so I use it. The complete tracking, with logs and alerts when people arrive at or leave locations is waaaaaaay too much.


I'm glad you opted out of this, especially for your daughter. I could see it being used as part of a probationary period if they've done something to radically lose your trust in them, but otherwise it seems like just another form of helicopter parenting that will stunt their growth into an independent adult.

Zikoris

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Re: Tracking apps like Life360; giving up last bits of privacy in marriage
« Reply #51 on: November 08, 2018, 11:16:48 AM »
One thing I've used a few times for logistical reasons in Facebook location sharing. It shares your location but only for like - 30 minutes-ish? I've used it when I'm taking a long-distance bus somewhere to co-ordinate pickup time with my dad, who also is coming from a long distance. It's pretty useful for that.

joonifloofeefloo

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Re: Tracking apps like Life360; giving up last bits of privacy in marriage
« Reply #52 on: November 08, 2018, 04:17:30 PM »
How are kids meant to learn to navigate the world and solve their own problems when parents are watching them all day long?

Having a tracking app ≠ watching a person all day long.

If I were married to someone so bored, anxious, or obsessed that...

You would want out due to anxiety?  Is that true of any mental health issue? OUCH.  How about helping them get help?

No, I said, "...so anxious [...] that...".

Having a condition and doing unacceptable behaviours are two different things. For me, someone having anxiety is no problem. For me, someone spending the whole day watching where I go would be.

If I managed to connect a loved one with effective help (which yes, would be my first great effort) and they accepted that, they wouldn't be "so [anything] that" and this wouldn't apply.

But if a person had any condition that resulted in behaviours affecting my well-being and went untreated, yes, I would want out. I lived with the impact of that for three decades and it's now a personal boundary in terms of marriage.

There is no condition that I have issue with in and of itself. A condition that is persistent, untreated, and affecting my well-being, yes, I would allow myself to exit from. Not saying everyone should do that, but having lived that life for decades, I would not require myself to live with the effect on me again.

And I wouldn't confuse "desire for an App" with "problem in spouse", so I could live with the App.

almcclur

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Re: Tracking apps like Life360; giving up last bits of privacy in marriage
« Reply #53 on: November 08, 2018, 04:32:56 PM »
Our whole family uses these. Since there are zero trust issues with my hub or kids, it is really just a tool to simplify logistics. My daughter is 14 and just starting to spread her wings, and I really want to allow her more freedom, but also need to be sure she's safe when walking to the store after school or whatever. It's also helpful knowing how far away the bus is after a football game to coordinate pick up times.

Last year my oldest (then 17) would ride the bus home from the Junior college and he had no sense of direction at all. The tracking app mitigated risks because when he missed his stop and rode halfway around the city and didn't know where he was I could talk him through exactly where to get off and wait for me.

For hub it's just convenient. Like skipping the step of asking, "when will you be home?" We've been married forever. Maybe in the beginning it would have creeped me out. I don't know.

I have my sister on it too. The kids like feeling connected to her even though she lives in a different city. Or when she comes for a visit they can watch her getting closer and closer.

Actually, same sister several years ago made a series of questionable choices and ended up in a different city on some random street with a passed out date late at night and then started getting harassed by some miscreant. She was terrified and ended up calling her friend to track her and come get her, and all ended well.

In healthy relationships I think it can be a way to simplify things or bring people closer.