Author Topic: Thirty year old still living at home  (Read 4475 times)

Roadrunner53

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3570
Thirty year old still living at home
« on: May 24, 2018, 08:13:35 AM »
What do you think is wrong with this guy who won't leave home, won't get a job, won't help around the house. He feels he is owed 6 months more time living there after living there scott free for 8 years! OMG, then the parents gave him $1,100 to get himself an apartment and he spent it on bills. Still no idea when the bum gets evicted. I don't get it why he should be give even one more night in the parents house. They should have sent a sherrif to make sure he takes his junk and gets out immediately. These parents owe their son nothing.

He turns 31 in a couple of months!

http://www.gopusa.com/judge-orders-30-year-old-ny-man-to-move-out-of-parents-home/

Dicey

  • Senior Mustachian
  • ********
  • Posts: 22319
  • Age: 66
  • Location: NorCal
Re: Thirty year old still living at home
« Reply #1 on: May 24, 2018, 08:58:35 AM »
Wow. At least the judge has a spine.

GuitarStv

  • Senior Mustachian
  • ********
  • Posts: 23128
  • Age: 42
  • Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Re: Thirty year old still living at home
« Reply #2 on: May 24, 2018, 09:41:08 AM »
When I came back from my first year of university Dad showed me to the guest room, and explained that I was now welcome to stay over the summer as a guest.  Funny thing was, it looked a lot like my old room . . .

SaucyAussie

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 328
  • Location: Raleigh, NC
Re: Thirty year old still living at home
« Reply #3 on: May 24, 2018, 09:44:08 AM »
Sounds like the ultimate mustachian to me!

PoutineLover

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1570
Re: Thirty year old still living at home
« Reply #4 on: May 24, 2018, 09:49:54 AM »
Sounds like the ultimate mustachian to me!
More like ultimate cheapskate.
for the past eight years he “has never been expected to contribute to household expenses, or assisted with chores and the maintenance of the premises, or assisted with chores and the maintenance of the premises, and claims that this is simply a component of his living agreement”
Sounds like trash to me, good thing his parents are taking him out.

robartsd

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3342
  • Location: Sacramento, CA
Re: Thirty year old still living at home
« Reply #5 on: May 24, 2018, 09:55:58 AM »
Sounds like the ultimate mustachian to me!
Sure it could be mustachian to live with parents through age 30 - if he was working, saving, and contributing reasonably to the household. He's being cheap, but not frugal.

Roadrunner53

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3570
Re: Thirty year old still living at home
« Reply #6 on: May 24, 2018, 10:05:13 AM »
He is worse than cheap! He doesn't have two nickels to rub together and is demanding he get to say an extra 6 months or 3 in the least! OMG, what balls this jerk has!

Not sure if this is the article I attached in my OP but one article I read said he is suing Best Buy because he refused to work Satrudays. BB said they tried to work with him but it is retail and it is expected they work some Saturdays. Since he didn't show up to work on a or other Saturdays they considered it job abandonment. He has a law suit against them for something like $338K. I certainly hope he doesn't win that suit! He was making $11.10 an hour at BB several years ago.

Can't wait to see when he gets evicted! If he had helped around the house, had a job of any sort and paid something each week it still wouldn't be right but at least you could say he wasn't a useless jerk.

Cassie

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7946
Re: Thirty year old still living at home
« Reply #7 on: May 24, 2018, 10:49:28 AM »
Unbelievable!  I would have changed the locks years ago.

Roadrunner53

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3570
Re: Thirty year old still living at home
« Reply #8 on: May 24, 2018, 10:58:09 AM »
Unbelievable!  I would have changed the locks years ago.


I would have been nice too and like Cassie says changed the locks. I would have bought him a tent, given him directions to the soup kitchen and maybe even bought him a used bicycle and a old blanket. Since they already gave him $1,100, no cash needed. Should be interesting to see how this story progresses!

He said he doesn't want to live there anymore but he needs about 6 more months time. LOL!

Cassie

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7946
Re: Thirty year old still living at home
« Reply #9 on: May 24, 2018, 12:00:22 PM »
When we were young we bought a house and the renters were mad because they rented for years and wanted to buy it too.  Well the owners sold it to us because I grew up next door so knew me well and my parents still lived next door. We had 2 small kids and I was also due in a few weeks.  We consulted a lawyer who said it would take months to evict him.   They were 2 gay guys that kept their place immaculate and didn't like kids.  So I knock on their door with my kids and say "We are moving into this house in a week. If you aren't gone then we will all live here together. Hope you like loud kids and messes.  Needless to say they were gone when a week later we went back.

Candace

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 582
  • Age: 57
  • Location: Hampton Roads, Virginia
Re: Thirty year old still living at home
« Reply #10 on: May 24, 2018, 12:12:49 PM »
When we were young we bought a house and the renters were mad because they rented for years and wanted to buy it too.  Well the owners sold it to us because I grew up next door so knew me well and my parents still lived next door. We had 2 small kids and I was also due in a few weeks.  We consulted a lawyer who said it would take months to evict him.   They were 2 gay guys that kept their place immaculate and didn't like kids.  So I knock on their door with my kids and say "We are moving into this house in a week. If you aren't gone then we will all live here together. Hope you like loud kids and messes.  Needless to say they were gone when a week later we went back.

That's epic.

I'm not sure, but I think the parents of the 30-year-old in the OP's article couldn't lawfully just change the locks. I'm guessing they were in front of a judge (how incredibly embarrassing for all involved) because the circumstances actually gave the good-for-nothing son some rights as a de facto tenant, or at least someone who had a de facto agreement with the owners, his parents.

I have a friend who has two children like this in their 20s. He and his wife continue to just let the kids live there, and so far to my knowledge haven't tried too hard to get them to leave. I hope the kids find a way to stand on their own, because it seems like everyone will be a lot happier. It's just sad for everyone.

galliver

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1863
Re: Thirty year old still living at home
« Reply #11 on: May 24, 2018, 12:19:02 PM »
It rather sounds like he may have a serious case of anxiety and/or depression, that probably hasn't been addressed or treated in any way. So instead of facing his stressors he's avoiding them. Does it excuse his behavior? No, plenty of people with mental illness go to work and provide for themselves everyday because most of them don't have parents that will continue to coddle them 12 years into adulthood. But I do pity him and sympathize just a little and hope he can figure it out and doesn't turn to extreme measures due to the public attention his case is getting.

marty998

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7372
  • Location: Sydney, Oz
Re: Thirty year old still living at home
« Reply #12 on: May 25, 2018, 03:14:07 AM »
Failure to launch has such dire consequences for all concerned.

I guess moochers don't feel any embarrassment or shame at all, do they?

MasterStache

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 2912
Re: Thirty year old still living at home
« Reply #13 on: May 25, 2018, 04:33:51 AM »
Hard to believe his parents enabled his behavior for the long. My kids are welcome back at any age provided there is actually space for them and they pay their portion of the rent, utilities, food etc. Same way my parents treated me.

Roadrunner53

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3570
Re: Thirty year old still living at home
« Reply #14 on: May 25, 2018, 04:47:23 AM »
He has till June 1 to get out. He got an offer from a pizza chain for a job...will he take it?

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/pizzeria-chain-villa-italian-kitchen-offers-job-to-30-year-old-michael-rotondo-evicted-by-parents/

Freedomin5

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6483
Re: Thirty year old still living at home
« Reply #15 on: May 25, 2018, 07:16:48 AM »
So different from my cultural expectations. Parents don’t kick their kids out, even if they have no job. My siblings still live at home, and don’t pay rent or food or utilities.

But then they’re well-educated and gainfully employed. Parents would prefer that they save their money for a down payment on a condo that they can use as an investment while they continue to live at home. Why give your hard earned money to someone else when there’s plenty of space at home?

When I go home for the summer, DD, DH, and I also live with parents. We get a room in the basement and private bathroom. We use one of their cars. When we buy groceries because we’re on holiday and have the time, parents try to pay us back. (I don’t take their money.)

Siblings are totally comfortable living at home and at this point of time have no intention of leaving. I wouldn’t have left either except I got married. No one in our family views it as mooching or failure to launch. It’s simply one well-established generation helping the next generation get a firm financial footing.

Roadrunner53

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3570
Re: Thirty year old still living at home
« Reply #16 on: May 25, 2018, 07:51:41 AM »
A thirty year old man who won't help around the house, won't help out with household costs, expects his parents to feed him, keep him warm, have hot water, internet, TV and all the comforts of home is a bum. These parents worked for what they have and are no longer obligated to support this man. If he was sick or handicapped that would change the story. The man has got to get out and start his own life. His parents have let him live for 8 years FREE! I think they have done enough. He has a college education and represented himself in court. He is not mentally ill although he seems to have some kind of issues. After 8 years living there for free and they gave him $1,100 to find a place to live, I think these parents have done enough. He is acting like the victim here. He is going on 31 years old and that could be 1/3 of his life if he lives till 90. Time to get a life and let these parents enjoy an empty nest. The thing that gets me is that he thinks he is entitled to live there as long as he wants regardless the parents want him out of THEIR house. If he did some chores, mowed the lawn, cooked some meals, cleaned the house, painted or did anything to earn his keep, maybe things would have worked out differently.

Roadrunner53

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3570
Re: Thirty year old still living at home
« Reply #17 on: May 25, 2018, 08:09:52 AM »
He can't afford boxes. Thought you could get FREE boxes at any grocery store or other store by the dumpsters.

The bigger question is once he fills his boxes, how will he get them from point A to point B if he has no money?

https://nypost.com/2018/05/25/deadbeat-son-evicted-from-parents-home-says-hes-too-broke-to-move/

Cassie

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7946
Re: Thirty year old still living at home
« Reply #18 on: May 25, 2018, 12:07:03 PM »
We have let our adult move in for free when they needed the help. However, I enjoy my empty nest so it is not a permanent thing.  Parents have a right to have their own space.   Yes boxes are still free at grocery stores.

jim555

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3235
Re: Thirty year old still living at home
« Reply #19 on: May 25, 2018, 03:06:46 PM »
This guy has been on several shows now.  He still doesn't want to leave. 
I would have changed the locks when he went outside.  The parents are to blame for enabling such nonsense.

Someone near me had her son stay until he was 39, and he never paid rent.  Then he moved out, had a child and dumps the kid off for babysitting multiple times a week.  And he is asking for money for a house!  Unbelievable.

SunnyDays

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3489
Re: Thirty year old still living at home
« Reply #20 on: May 25, 2018, 03:23:55 PM »
I saw this on the news too.  A four letter word comes to mind for this guy's problem - LAZY.  I mean, why would he want to move when his parents' provide for him and do everything for him?  Clearly he has no integrity, which is the only thing that would make him want to take control of his own life.  But at this point, the parents have so handicapped him, he probably wouldn't be able to cope on his own.  Sad all around.

Roadrunner53

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3570
Re: Thirty year old still living at home
« Reply #21 on: May 25, 2018, 04:29:55 PM »
 He can join all the other misfits that can't make it in the world and find a bridge to live under. His parents gave him $1,100 to get a room or small apartment somewhere. They offered to go with him to find one. I am sure he spent the money on his cell phone. Not sure what bills he would have living with his parents and paying them nothing.

He says he has to buy boxes. Well, where is he going to bring the boxes to once packed. His car is a junker and doesn't run either. I do not get this guy!

I got married at age 19 and was 20 two months later. We were just average joes. I had a factory job and the Hub had an average job. I saved my paycheck every week. With that and our wedding $$ gifts we were able to save $10,000 in two years. Wedding gifts were just average and that was back in 1973. In 1975 we bought a piece of property, got a construction mortgage and built our home! I was 22 by then. The hub was 23. We paid our mortgage, taxes, kept working, took vacations and saved more money and IRA's. We had no children. We enjoyed new cars, great vacations. We called in sick sometimes and went away for 3 days weekends. We had so much fun! Why does this guy want to be holed up in his parents house without a dime in his pocket, no running car, no place to call his own? He can't be paying child support either.

BookLoverL

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 431
  • Location: England
Re: Thirty year old still living at home
« Reply #22 on: May 26, 2018, 03:55:43 AM »
It's completely fine and even financially sensible to live with your parents as a young adult in my opinion - I'm actually doing it myself - but it's absolutely vital that you a) contribute to the household financially/materially and b) do a share of the chores. Just because your housemates are your parents doesn't mean you should be doing less than you'd be doing if you were living with friends, acquaintances or strangers. The precise balance of money to chores can vary depending on your circumstances, of course, but the fact is that if you are an adult then you shouldn't be relying on your parents to do everything for you.

With the housing market the way it is in the UK and in some parts of the US, it makes complete sense not to live alone and shoulder the full burden of mortgage/rent/council tax/whatever, and if you get on relatively well with your parents and you're not ready to move in with a partner yet then your parents probably seem like a natural choice. But you do have to be on guard against slipping into old habits from childhood or getting stuck in a rut. The man described in the article is stagnating and not really getting anywhere meaningful with life. He is definitely a mooch, because these kinds of arrangements need to be a two way street.

Hula Hoop

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1762
  • Location: Italy
Re: Thirty year old still living at home
« Reply #23 on: May 26, 2018, 04:08:31 AM »
So different from my cultural expectations. Parents don’t kick their kids out, even if they have no job. My siblings still live at home, and don’t pay rent or food or utilities.

But then they’re well-educated and gainfully employed. Parents would prefer that they save their money for a down payment on a condo that they can use as an investment while they continue to live at home. Why give your hard earned money to someone else when there’s plenty of space at home?

When I go home for the summer, DD, DH, and I also live with parents. We get a room in the basement and private bathroom. We use one of their cars. When we buy groceries because we’re on holiday and have the time, parents try to pay us back. (I don’t take their money.)

Siblings are totally comfortable living at home and at this point of time have no intention of leaving. I wouldn’t have left either except I got married. No one in our family views it as mooching or failure to launch. It’s simply one well-established generation helping the next generation get a firm financial footing.

Here in Italy, it's the cultural norm to live at home with parents in ones 20s and maybe even 30s and I don't think most parents ask their adult kids for help with bills etc.  However, it's not normal for kids to mooch off parents, sitting around all day doing nothing and not working or studying.  I know several people who live at home with their parents in their 20s but they are either full time students or working full time.  I also know some who live at home with parents and mooch off them completely and they are called "bamboccioni" (ie. "big babies") and it is frowned upon culturally although maybe not as much as in the US.

I lived at home with each of my parents for short periods of time in my 20s.  With my dad it was when my lease had ended and I was about to move here to be with my now husband.  I had a couple of months between end of lease and moving here.  With my mother, it was while I was a full time student and she needed help with the care of my much younger sibling.  It drove me absolutely nuts TBH but I think that's because of the personalities involved. 

WhiteTrashCash

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1983
Re: Thirty year old still living at home
« Reply #24 on: May 26, 2018, 06:55:34 AM »
I left home at age 17 when I graduated from high school and I've been on my own financially ever since that day. When I read about people taking financial advantage of their parents like this article, I find it absolutely stunning. It's such a gift to have parents who are willing to help you with emotional support and financial support. Only a fool would take something like that for granted.

Roadrunner53

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3570
Re: Thirty year old still living at home
« Reply #25 on: May 26, 2018, 07:27:42 AM »
Uh...there’s a HUGE difference between living at home with parents who want you there and trying to force yourself on parents who are willing to take you to court to make you leave after putting up with your bullshit for 8 goddamn years until he lost visitation rights to his own kid!

This isn’t cultural. There’s no culture that normally has to go to court to evict their own unemployed adult children from the home.
This is an extreme and depressing situation.

I so feel for these parents because something is obviously very wrong with their son and they are so far beyond the point of being able to help him. I can’t imagine the sadness, frustration, shame, anger and fear they must experience on a daily basis about this. Add to the that being an international viral media spectacle.

Having to give up hope on a hate-filled adult child who is determined to self destruct and can’t be helped isn’t something I wish on any parent. I’ve seen it first hand, it’s utterly heart breaking.

Having to be a viral sensation for having a total disaster of a son is even worse. What a horrible invasion of their privacy during the most humiliating moment of their lives.

Agree 100% with what you said. There is one more scary thing. The parents mentioned selling some of his positions so he could acquire some cash money to help himself financially. One of the items mentioned was guns! God forbid if he freaks out.

Roadrunner53

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3570
Re: Thirty year old still living at home
« Reply #26 on: May 26, 2018, 07:36:51 AM »

Agree 100% with what you said. There is one more scary thing. The parents mentioned selling some of his positions so he could acquire some cash money to help himself financially. One of the items mentioned was guns! God forbid if he freaks out.

I noted that too.
He seems really unstable.

How is it you and I see this and the courts and others are not! They should have taken the firearms away till he passes a psyche test.

Hula Hoop

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1762
  • Location: Italy
Re: Thirty year old still living at home
« Reply #27 on: May 26, 2018, 07:48:37 AM »
Uh...there’s a HUGE difference between living at home with parents who want you there and trying to force yourself on parents who are willing to take you to court to make you leave after putting up with your bullshit for 8 goddamn years until he lost visitation rights to his own kid!

This isn’t cultural. There’s no culture that normally has to go to court to evict their own unemployed adult children from the home.
This is an extreme and depressing situation.

I so feel for these parents because something is obviously very wrong with their son and they are so far beyond the point of being able to help him. I can’t imagine the sadness, frustration, shame, anger and fear they must experience on a daily basis about this. Add to the that being an international viral media spectacle.

Having to give up hope on a hate-filled adult child who is determined to self destruct and can’t be helped isn’t something I wish on any parent. I’ve seen it first hand, it’s utterly heart breaking.

Having to be a viral sensation for having a total disaster of a son is even worse. What a horrible invasion of their privacy during the most humiliating moment of their lives.

Completely agree.  As a parent of small children this is my nightmare for the future.

Roadrunner53

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3570
Re: Thirty year old still living at home
« Reply #28 on: May 26, 2018, 08:01:14 AM »
In one way I blame the parents that they shouldn't have let it go on for 8 years. I am sure they encouraged him to get a job, any job but he dug his heels in and came up with one excuse after another why he couldn't. They probably gave up and just hoped one day he would magically move out and that didn't happen.

What is also irksome is that he speaks badly of his parents whom he has lived with almost his entire life. Funny how horrible they were to change his diapers, feed him, educate him and put up with him as a deadbeat for 8 years. Yep, they sure must be terrible people that actually have jobs and bring home a paycheck every week, have a home, vehicles. Hopefully they have saved for retirement too.

The son is supposed to leave the home at noon on June 1st, 2018. I hope the parents have a locksmith waiting in the driveway and have all the locks changed.

Heartbreaking for the parents. I am sure they would love to see their son be successful.


SunnyDays

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3489
Re: Thirty year old still living at home
« Reply #30 on: May 26, 2018, 12:51:47 PM »
Thanks, Jim555, interesting article.  If I were the parents, and this guy doesn't leave on June 1 (and what are the chances he will?) I think I'd be finding another place to live and cutting off all utilities at the house, then stay incommunicado.  He'd have to do something at that point.  No way would I stay around when he has weapons!  And why can't they get rid of them themselves?  Wouldn't have them in my house.
And don't grandparents have rights to see grandkids in the US, regardless of who has custody?

jim555

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3235
Re: Thirty year old still living at home
« Reply #31 on: May 26, 2018, 01:14:18 PM »
The county sheriff will have to remove him.

Roadrunner53

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3570
Re: Thirty year old still living at home
« Reply #32 on: May 26, 2018, 01:15:00 PM »
SunnyDays, I have a feeling even if the utilities were cut he would continue to live there. He could always go to the library or Starbucks during the day time. He could probably find somewhere to shower like a homeless place.

If  he doesn't leave, the parents need to contact their attorney and get advice on who they call the police department or some sheriff. I am sure this isn't the first eviction of a person who refuses to go. I think the court should have had a sheriff be on the property to escort him out so there was no violence.

No idea what this guy is going to do. If he had just worked with his parents and got a room or apartment and got a job it wouldn't have come to this. Then when I read he was only working 20 hours a week at Best Buy at $11.10 an hour I was like you have got to be kidding! $222 a week before taxes. I could see if he had 3 part time jobs, 20 hours each. Seems like that is the only job he has ever had! I wonder how long that lasted?



Cassie

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7946
Re: Thirty year old still living at home
« Reply #34 on: May 26, 2018, 02:46:18 PM »
He doesn’t support his own kid but expects his parents to support him forever.  Seriously screwed up.  I really feel for his parents.

Roadrunner53

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3570
Re: Thirty year old still living at home
« Reply #35 on: May 26, 2018, 04:34:12 PM »
Here I am just a bystander and the whole thing infuriates me! How a grown man expects his parents who are probably ready to retire to support his sorry ass! He is not sick with a disease, he is not in a wheel chair. Who on earth does he think he is expecting a free ride? WHEN is enough enough for him?

He says ALL they are doing is letting him live there and food. Oh, and electricity and hot water. REALLY, those are such mundane things? He said he washed his own clothes...who bought the detergent and supplied the washer, drier and hot water...MOMMY??? A roof over his head, to him, is no big deal!

He has all these stupid excuses. Many people have issues and work and deal with their problems.

It is going to be very interesting to see this baby man deal with real life! I hope the news camps outside the family home to video his departure from the family home!

NoraLenderbee

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1254
Re: Thirty year old still living at home
« Reply #36 on: May 29, 2018, 03:02:04 PM »
A thirty year old man who won't help around the house, won't help out with household costs, expects his parents to feed him, keep him warm, have hot water, internet, TV and all the comforts of home is a bum. These parents worked for what they have and are no longer obligated to support this man. If he was sick or handicapped that would change the story. The man has got to get out and start his own life. His parents have let him live for 8 years FREE! I think they have done enough. He has a college education and represented himself in court. He is not mentally ill although he seems to have some kind of issues. After 8 years living there for free and they gave him $1,100 to find a place to live, I think these parents have done enough. He is acting like the victim here. He is going on 31 years old and that could be 1/3 of his life if he lives till 90. Time to get a life and let these parents enjoy an empty nest. The thing that gets me is that he thinks he is entitled to live there as long as he wants regardless the parents want him out of THEIR house. If he did some chores, mowed the lawn, cooked some meals, cleaned the house, painted or did anything to earn his keep, maybe things would have worked out differently.

His parents ALLOWED him to behave this way for 8 years. Unless he held a gun to their heads, they were voluntary participants in this state of affairs.

Quote
for the past eight years he “has never been expected to contribute to household expenses, or assisted with chores and the maintenance of the premises, or assisted with chores and the maintenance of the premises, and claims that this is simply a component of his living agreement”

I'm not defending this guy one bit. However, his parents behaved like classic enablers.

FrugalToque

  • Global Moderator
  • Pencil Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 863
  • Location: Canada