Author Topic: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes  (Read 54542 times)

Koogie

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #450 on: December 02, 2017, 07:56:32 AM »
Orion's belt is a waist of space.


That's a terrible joke! Only three stars!

Agreed.  It is cosmically bad.

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Distillation is a miracle of science.
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techwiz

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #451 on: December 02, 2017, 08:37:03 AM »
 I'd tell you a joke about space, but... its too, out of this world!

What is an astronaut's favorite place on a computer?
Spoiler: show
 The space bar.


 Where would an astronaut park his space ship?
 
Spoiler: show
A parking meteor!


 What time do astronauts eat?
 
Spoiler: show
At launch time.


 What was the first animal in space?
 
Spoiler: show
The cow that jumped over the moon.


 What did the alien say to the cat?
 
Spoiler: show
Take me to your litter.


 Why did the astronaut retire?
 
Spoiler: show
He got spaced out!


 What do you call a fruit that goes into space?
Spoiler: show
 A coco-naut


 What is an astronauts favorite chocolate?
Spoiler: show
 A marsbar!

Stachey

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #452 on: December 02, 2017, 12:32:36 PM »
One night Sherlock Holmes and Watson were out camping and as they were lying on their backs in their sleeping bags, looking up at the stars, Holmes said:
"Tell me Watson, what can you conclude from looking up at all those stars?"
Watson said, "Well, considering that all those stars are suns like our sun and since each one of them must have planets orbiting around them just like our solar system, surely amongst all of that there has to be life on other planets.  Is that what you conclude, Holmes?"
"No Watson.  I conclude that someone has stolen our tent."
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Koogie

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #453 on: December 02, 2017, 01:36:12 PM »
Alternatives

What do you call a fruit that goes into space?
Spoiler: show
a star fruit


What is an astronauts favorite chocolate?
Spoiler: show
a Milky Way bar

Fermentation is a miracle of nature.
Distillation is a miracle of science.
Better living through Science !

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Financial.Velociraptor

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #454 on: December 17, 2017, 04:33:51 PM »
Guy walks into a bar and orders a fruit punch.
Bartender says “Pal, if you want a punch you’ll have to stand in line”
Guy looks around, but there is no punch line.
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soccerluvof4

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #455 on: December 19, 2017, 03:36:37 AM »
How did the mouse get out of the elephants stomach?

He ran around and ran around till he was all pooped out!
" In life you don't get what you deserve you get what you negotiate"

Glenstache

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #456 on: December 19, 2017, 02:26:06 PM »
Why don't I trust trees?
Spoiler: show
They seem kind of shady


Variation on the theme:
Why don't I trust stairs?
Spoiler: show
They always seem to be up to something.

Financial.Velociraptor

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #457 on: December 21, 2017, 11:23:50 AM »
Which is the dinosaur's least favorite reindeer?

...Comet...
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solon

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #458 on: December 21, 2017, 12:12:16 PM »


This is wrong on so many levels.

sol

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #459 on: December 21, 2017, 08:44:38 PM »
These may already appear in this thread, but my four year old knows three jokes:

1.  what do you call a three humped camel?  (pregnant)

2.  What you call an alligator wearing a vest?  (an investigator)

3.  What you call an elephant that doesn't matter?  (an irrelephant)

nora

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #460 on: December 22, 2017, 02:45:57 AM »
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
It wanted to get to the bottom.

nora

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #461 on: December 22, 2017, 02:46:36 AM »
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn't peeling very well.

Travis

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #462 on: December 31, 2017, 10:48:32 AM »
A man ran up to me and screamed "I'm a tepee, I'm a wigwam! I''m a tepee, I'm a wigwam!"  I told him to relax, he's two tents.
« Last Edit: January 02, 2018, 03:49:55 PM by Travis »
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Rollin

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #463 on: January 02, 2018, 02:04:09 PM »
Where do bees pee?

At the BP station.
I love being outside.

Glenstache

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #464 on: January 02, 2018, 04:06:38 PM »
Did you hear the one about the disappointed fashionable cowboy?

He didn’t like wearing his own brand.

birdman2003

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #465 on: January 03, 2018, 07:07:49 AM »
What do friends and trees have in common?

Spoiler: show
They both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

WhiteTrashCash

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #466 on: January 03, 2018, 12:36:04 PM »
Q: What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

Spoiler: show
A: A carrot

techwiz

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #467 on: January 03, 2018, 02:51:41 PM »

Glenstache

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #468 on: January 11, 2018, 02:38:40 PM »
I just that there's a band called Dunning Kruger Effect (DKE). I bet they aren't as good as they think they are.
https://www.facebook.com/Dunning-Kruger-Effect-127567257432771/