Author Topic: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes  (Read 19011 times)

Financial.Velociraptor

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #300 on: March 03, 2017, 06:27:22 PM »
Economist!
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Glenstache

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #301 on: March 03, 2017, 06:46:53 PM »

Mikila

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #302 on: March 03, 2017, 06:53:43 PM »
What do you get when your cow jumps the fence?

Udder destruction.

cheddarpie

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #303 on: March 03, 2017, 06:58:48 PM »
Why did the pear go out with the prune?

Because it couldn't get a date!

Stachey

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #304 on: March 04, 2017, 11:32:37 AM »
What did the psychiatrist say when a man wearing nothing but saran wrap walked into his office?

I can clearly see your nuts!

Zaga

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #305 on: March 05, 2017, 07:44:02 AM »
So Thor, the god of thunder, likes the mortal ladies and often spends the night in bed with a pretty barmaid.  One morning, as he wakes up next to a young mortal, he thinks to himself that it would be polite to introduce himself.

He rolls over and says "Hi, I'm Thor!"

"You're thore?  I can hardly walk!" she lisps.

Zaga

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #306 on: March 05, 2017, 03:53:02 PM »
What do you call 2 guys with no arms and no legs hanging near a window?

Curt and Rod.

Financial.Velociraptor

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #307 on: March 06, 2017, 09:30:59 PM »
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question...?
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Bracken_Joy

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #308 on: March 08, 2017, 11:34:35 AM »
The Roughest Mustachian on the Nicest Block: my journal
Like babies? Have kids? Want to chat about Babies and Pregnancy? Group Journal Here.

Koogie

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #309 on: March 08, 2017, 05:41:59 PM »
What do you call homicidal cheerios ?

cereal killers
Fermentation is a miracle of nature.
Distillation is a miracle of science.
Better living through Science !

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Lookilu

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #310 on: March 08, 2017, 07:12:10 PM »
Why don't cannibals like to eat clowns?

Because they taste funny.

Vindicated

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #311 on: March 09, 2017, 10:09:07 AM »
What's my plan for the next three years?

I don't know.  I don't have 2020 vision!

birdman2003

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #312 on: March 10, 2017, 06:14:12 AM »
Did you hear about the President of South Korea? They say she lost her Seoul.

Financial.Velociraptor

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #313 on: March 14, 2017, 09:49:10 AM »
Yesterday was national Penis Day in Japan.

It was also national Penis Day in Israel but they had to cut it short.
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Zaga

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #314 on: March 14, 2017, 04:07:07 PM »
List of words containing meow:

meow
meows
meowing
meowed
homeowner

sol

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #315 on: March 14, 2017, 04:20:03 PM »
What is E.T. short for?



Because he has such stubby little legs.

missbee

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #316 on: March 14, 2017, 11:50:23 PM »
what do you call a snake that is 3.14159 feet long?
a pi-thon

radram

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #317 on: March 15, 2017, 06:55:22 AM »
what do you call a snake that is 3.14159 feet long?
a pi-thon
I see you just barely got this in on pi day :)

Stachey

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #318 on: March 15, 2017, 09:11:11 PM »
A friend of mine baked pies on Pi day but didn't realize it was Pi day until eleven o'clock at night! 

radram

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #319 on: March 16, 2017, 08:28:27 AM »
Enjoy:

 '‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I apologize’ mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.' —Demetri Martin

 
• Q: What has four legs and one arm?

A: A happy pit bull.

 
• 'Cats have nine lives. Makes them ideal for experimentation.' —Jimmy Carr

 
• Q: Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?

A: Because they taste funny.

 
• “I have a vest. If I had my arms cut off, it would be a jacket.” —Mitch Hedberg

 
• Q: What did Kermit the frog say at Jim Henson’s funeral?

A: Nothing.

 
• “If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” —Steven Wright

Travis

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #320 on: March 16, 2017, 09:09:34 AM »

 
• “If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” —Steven Wright

If it jams, force it. And if it breaks, it needed replacing anyways.

    -There is always a big enough hammer.

Glenstache

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #321 on: March 16, 2017, 10:13:28 AM »
A friend of mine baked pies on Pi day but didn't realize it was Pi day until eleven o'clock at night!
If they baked two pies, then they made it full circle!

Stachey

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Re: Tell Me Your Stupid Jokes
« Reply #322 on: March 17, 2017, 05:44:53 PM »
A friend of mine baked pies on Pi day but didn't realize it was Pi day until eleven o'clock at night!
If they baked two pies, then they made it full circle!

LOL!

Very true.  :)

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the second mouse gets the cheese after all.