A new driver by the name of Stan Towarder has just shown up for his first day of work driving buses for the New York City Department of Education, and he meets his new supervisor, a tiny slight of a woman with a shockingly gruff voice by the name of Makenzie MacDonald - but everyone there in the barn just calls her Big Mak.
Mak informs Stan that since he's new there, he's being assigned one of their less desirable routes in the Lower East Side that they can't seem to keep drivers for, which requires him picking children up on the now famous "Sesame Street" from the children's show in the Alphabet City neighborhood, and ending the run by dropping them off at PS 15 in the East Village. Stan, full of ambitious vigor, takes the challenge and starts driving.
At the first stop on Sesame Street among the small group of three children, a mother is standing with her son who helps him onto the bus. The mother sees that it's a new bus driver and introduces herself and her son. "Hello, I'm Mrs. Olivia Peculiar, and this is my son Ross. Ross has special needs, and he should be kept in a calm and quiet environment. Otherwise, he will get frightened, hide under your seat, and scream in terror. Please look after him."
Stan greets her with a smile and says, "No worries, Mrs. Peculiar, I'll take good care of Ross for you," and proceeds down the route.
On the second stop on Sesame Street, seven smaller kids get pushed out of the way by a rather rotund girl who shoves her way onto the bus first. Stan stops her and asks her to identify herself. "Patricia Falstaffian," she says, "but everyone calls me Patti!"
"Well Patti," Stan replies, "It's not nice to push other children."
Then Patti replies, "It's okay. My Mom says I have a 'thyroid condition' and that means I can't help it, so I should just be who I am." And she proceeds to bite Stan in the arm before running to the back of the bus and taking a seat, where she begins to yell, brag, and kick the seats for the rest of the trip on the bus. Ross Peculiar begins to rock in his seat and moan while hugging himself.
At the third stop on his route down Sesame Street, five more kids get on the bus, and one of them sits directly behind Stan. As the bus resumes its trip, the child sitting behind Stan takes his shoes and socks off and begins to pick at his feet and flick the debris at the back of poor Stan's head. As this kid starts doing this, Patti Falstaffian screams out during a chorus of children making grossed out noises, "Ew! Stop picking your bunions, Lester Snieze! That's gross!" However, Lester proceeds undeterred, picking at and flicking his bunions at poor Stan's head. Meanwhile, Ross' eyes get bigger and his moaning gets louder as his rocking intensifies.
At the final pickup on his route down Sesame Street, Stan stops the bus for the last of the children he has been entrusted to transport. Among the gaggle of kids at this stop, a morbidly obese girl is standing hidden there behind the others, head down, quietly waiting for the other dozen or so kids to finish boarding. When she finally gets on, she barely squeezes through the door, in fact. Stan asks her her name as he tries to help pull her through and up the steps.
"It's Patty Voracity, mister," she says in a shy and quiet voice.
"It's good to meet you, Patty," responds Stan. He's tired, flapped, but he strives to be kind and helps her to a seat. However, after young Patty Voracity takes a seat, she becomes a lightning rod of attention to the other children. They scream and taunt her with Patti Falstaffian being the loudest, hiding in the back of the bus but starting a round of jeering chants of "Fatty Patty" with the other kids.
In the chaos of Patti leading the charge picking on Patty, Ross now darts under Stan's legs and starts to panic scream, all while Lester Snieze keeps flicking his bunions at poor Stan's head. This continues all the rest of the way of the trip to The Roberto Clemente School on East 4th Street, where he finally gets all the children off the bus.
The trip was terrible, but the bus was finally silent. Stan bursts out in tears and sobs for a good five minutes in the driver's seat while the bus sits idling outside the front entrance of the old PS 15 building, certain that it was a divine miracle that he got them to school safely without wrecking the bus or exploding in rage. It became clear to poor Stan that the pay he was receiving simply wasn't enough to handle this route, but he determined that with enough money, he might be able to hang in there. After finally pulling himself together, he drives the bus back to the barn, gasses it up and parks it, still a little frazzled.
After finishing the paperwork he had to fill out due to the cacophony on the bus that morning, Stan approaches his supervisor's office and wearily knocks on her doorpost.
"What do you want, Towarder?" Mak barks out.
Stan pauses for a second and responds, "I've two obese Pattys, special Ross, Lester Snieze pickin' bunions on the Sesame Street run, Big Mak! It's a good time for a great raise, Ms. MacDonald."