Ok, there's a lot to unpack here but I'll try my best.
Some of the core tenets that almost all religious (Christian/Muslim/Jewish, other "religions" are different) believe in is:
1. Their version of god is the only true God.
Sure. Nothing wrong with that. When you make a truth claim, you are inherently stating that other truth claims that contradict your truth claims are false. (If you say "X is true," then by necessity you are stating "not X is not true"." If I say "basketball is the best sport, and LeBron James is the best overall player" and you say "basketball is the best sport, and Michael Jordan is the best overall player" then we are making competing truth claims. I am implicitly saying that your view that Michael Jordan is the best player is false. In this case, these truth claims are both reasonable but also impossible to determine via a some mathematical proof or scientific lab experiment. That doesn't make them inherently improper or wrong beliefs (though it may make them an improper subject for the journal "Nature" or as the justification for Supreme Court decision). It also means that people are going to at some point need to just agree to disagree about them.
Other relevant points:
There are a lot of commonalities between the world's major religions, but also a lot of differences. So the way I would frame it is that "I believe my conception of God most closely reflects reality, but of course I also realize that the sum of human knowledge about God is likely insignificant compared to the infinite reality. To the extent my conception does not match someone else's, we could just be emphasizing different facets of the same phenomenon. To the extent our conceptions conflict in a manner that appears irreconcilable, then inherently of course I believe that my conception is true and their conception is false and that is required by logic (otherwise, neither of us would believe it) and not inherently offensive."
When you think of all the various truth claims that people make in their lives, I am fairly certain that every single person on earth is right about at least some truth claims and wrong about others. So we could all use a little humility here.
Loads of people around the world believe in loads of things that are obviously wrong. And such will forever be the case. You are of course free to correct errors as you wish, but I am increasingly realizing that at some point we should probably just let a lot of it go and focus our attention just on the stuff that's causing the most harm to others at the moment.
2. Anyone who does not believe in that version of God are unbelievers who are going to hell.
I think this is less common than you think it is. I suppose we could ague that view was more common historically, but even that is painting with a very broad brush. This is what some religious people believe but not others. FWIW, if you are a Catholic priest and you state this, you can be excommunicated (and this in fact happened to a Boston priest several decades ago).
There are also many people who are members of denominations where this may be the doctrine but they don't personally agree with that portion of the doctrine.
3. The best thing that can happen to the unbelievers is to have their soul resurrected by faith in that specific religion.
I don't think is universally true. Even if it was, I don't find it inherently offensive. I am not offended if a Muslim person wants to convert me. Just as long as he treats me with respect and doesn't persecute me, he can believe whatever he likes.
And yet, the religious has waged war against the stupid non-believers for millennia based on these "unproven metaphysical claim"s.
Lots of wars in history, for lots of reasons. I consider the implications behind your argument basically disproven by the 100 million plus bodycount from atheistic communism in the last century. I don't need to get into a debate about whose the biggest meany. It's simply enough to dispose of the argument.
Any time even a slightest degree of push-back is offered - you get persecution complex and other variety of hysteria.
In my opinion, persecution complex and hysteria are not things that are limited to theists or discussions about religion. It seems to me like you are often stating things you don't like about human nature and ascribing them to religion.
It's as if their belief in their ability to impose their morality on everyone just comes standard from factory, anything else is "war on Christianity".
A subject that probably deserves its own thread. My short view is that there was once a common culture with shared metaphysical assumptions and a legal system based around that. Which is not inherently improper (simply put, freedom of religion =/= freedom from religion). There has been secular pushback, and then certain Christians have engaged in what to them feels like a largely defensive war, while other Christians have not really been involved or even taken the secular side on many issues. My personal view is that it is futile to try to impose a metaphysical framework by law that most people don't agree with, and also generally I support freedom of conscience.
I don't want to derail the thread, but there are plenty of examples of non-religious secular progressives try to basically legally enforce their beliefs on everyone else. If you don't see that, then I am guessing you just won't see it so it's probably not worth it to explain it to you as you or other posters will try to make me separately litigate each issue and many of them are contentious and the trolls are going to come out. To cut to the chase, I am generally pro everyone "taking a damn chill pill and leaving each other the alone" except to the extent that this creates major complications for the orderly functioning of society.
You and I have discussed "culture wars" in other contexts. I'm not really a fan. I prefer to channel conversations towards constructive compromise. If you wish to do battle with your ideological opponents, that's a different temperament and I won't object to your doing it but you also shouldn't expect me to somehow disavow them if they are battling you back (unless of course they are totally out of line and the rules of common decency kick in). But mostly, those arguments are between ya'll, and we can just try to handle things differently.
You seem to profess that your morality only dictates your (and possibly your family's) life and beliefs. That alone makes you a very odd duck for a "religious person". I have had interactions with or otherwise encountered, maybe, half a dozen others like you in my entire life.
I am making a legal claim there, not a metaphysical one, and my position is based primarily on trying to construct an efficient and fair system where millions of people from a wide variety of backgrounds and with a wide variety of beliefs can get along together. Even if religion disappeared entirely tomorrow, this sort of latitude would still be necessary because there is fundamentally not a singular cohesive culture in the USA and it's probably too large for that ever to be the case.
I do in fact believe moral laws are objective and not culturally or individually constructed (but I recognize the wide disagreement among intelligent people on both whether this is true and how one can determine objective moral laws). I don't think it's fair or workable to try to precisely map the moral framework of any particular religion onto our legal system. I also don't think it's fair to try to bar discussion of a moral claim that happens to be aligned with a major religious system. (Aside: Quite a lot of the Christian moral framework is in fact encoded into our culture and legal system, but many people don't recognize that or just don't object in the same way others, such as followers of Stalin who fundamentally didn't really grok with the whole "individual rights barring state action" philosophy, would. Aide two: The incoherence of the secular position regarding the cultural construction of moral codes is a major factor in why I decided switch back from agnostic / deist to Christian. It's a fascinating and complex subject and I don't claim to be an expert, but briefest defense possible is: "Moral laws are either objective or they don't exist (and the "law of the jungle" does). If there are objective moral laws, there must be a lawgiver.")
I suspect in your previous debates you are encountering the loudest, most abrasive religious people, just as religious people are irritated by the loudest and most abrasive non-religious people. There are huge swarths of people that fall into the "mildly or moderately religious" category. In fact, I'll go out on a limb and say that classification describes a majority of humanity, though I suppose that's debatable.
There is also a hidden subtext behind many of my posts, which is basically "remember that most people are only of median intelligence." I don't say it quite so clearly because it seems not nice.
Again, if religion disappeared tomorrow, this issue won't and in my personal opinion the disappearance of formal religions wouldn't make things any better. I can assure you I am well aware of all sorts of unsavory things religious people do, where we disagree is that I think they are "human nature" things that I also see in secular people.
You can cheerfully consider the vast majority of theists benighted idiots if you wish. If you use that to just dismiss the work and views of say, Fyodor Dostoevsky, as a result, then that is a shame, for you and for humanity.
I need to openly admit I ignored my kids for quite a chunk of time to put this together and so may not be able to respond as completely to replies. I did want to at least outline this is you could appreciate how it might be non-crazy for a well-educated person to adhere to a formal religion. I'll do the best I can at responding, but for some things the answer might need to be "talk to me again when my kids are in college and I'm FIRED and we'll dig into it more then."