"Mansplaining" is relatively mild, but I find the double standard here interesting. Some of us men here aren't in favor of the term and our argument is picked apart instead of accepted. A turn of the tables I suppose.
Are you suggesting that women should accept illogical arguments just because they are made by men? Women should silence themselves in the presence of men just to keep the peace?
I'm suggesting that the standards regarding offensive words be applied across the board. I find men explaining things to women as if they were incompetent revolting. I find calling it "mansplaining" offensive. There are tons of words to express the idea, but if even feminists and the essay writer credited for explaining the phenomona question and oppose the term, along with some men it seems-the term is probably harmful.
So you find the concept of "mansplaining" revolting. Good. The word used to describe that concept is not separately and independently revolting regardless of its meaning: words themselves as a collection of consonants and vowels are not revolting, they are revolting only because of the concepts attached to them. The word "mansplaining" is therefore revolting only because it is attached to a concept that is revolting.
You say there are ton of words to express the concept of mansplaining. There are many phrases that can explain the concept but I know of no other single words that do the same job. Do please share them with me.
The "harm" in the word "mansplaining" appears to be that men don't like being called out for it and react unfavourably. So women are again silenced in order not to offend men and suffer the consequences of that offence.
The harm in the word "mansplaining" is that it is, by design, a generalisation and seeks to tar all men with the shame of some men trying to be helpful and explain things to women who evidently did not properly communicate their prior knowledge on the topic. Personally, I find people who hide their light under a bushel and sit quietly without assisting others to be abhorrent. If people (typically women) can't be trusted to help when all it takes is the effort to redirect some of their breath over some vocal chords, or perhaps use some appropriate body language, what can they be trusted with?
Oh, man (no pun intended). You really don’t get what mansplaining is.
I’m on my phone and hate typing long stuff on this thing. But, mansplaining is not a result of women “not properly communicating their prior knowledge” (nice victim blaming, by the way).
Three recent examples of mansplaining I have encountered:
1) I am parked by the side of the street in a well-populated commercial area, putting a quart of oil in my car because it drinks oil (just the way this model is, I have talked to my mechanic about this, I always keep a quart in my trunk, no biggie). A guy stops his car (blocking the road), and asks me if I need help. I politely tell him I’m good. He tells me I should have a funnel for the oil, and asks me if I’m sure I have the right kind of oil for my car. He also tells me I should be more careful and not let my oil run that low. All this while I’m just doing what I need to do. By this time, I’m getting irritated, but try not to show it, because you never know when a guy is going to get mean if you are anything but polite and smiley. When I lower the hood and say, “Thanks for the advice. But I’ve got it under control.” He rolls his eyes like I’m an idiot and drives away.
2) (This one will be familiar to many women.) I’m at the gym. Wearing ear buds. I’m using weight machines. A guy comes up and starts talking to me. Since I have music on, I can’t hear him, and have to pull my ear buds out. He proceeds to start giving me instructions on how to use the machine that I am currently using — and have used multiple times a week for quite a while. When I tell him I know how, he gives me a frustrated look, and makes some more noises, but I put my ear buds back in my ear and try to just ignore him and concentrate. He does it again on another machine a few minutes later. He is not a trainer. He is also using too much weight on his own machines, and his form is awful.
3) I’m at a gate at the airport waiting for a flight. The guy across from me notices the cover of my book, and since it’s a bit heady, asks me why I’m reading it. When I tell him, he goes off on a long diatribe about the subject of the book, basically giving me a private class without ever stopping to ask me whether I am interested or whether I might have some opinions.
I have a Ph.D. in this subject. When I finally manage to convey that I have some knowledge myself, and tell him this, it does NOT turn into a more balanced conversation. He just keeps holding court as though I have said nothing. By the way, he knew very little about the subject. Much of what he said was wrong.
Once again, though, I tried to be nice. Because I have had instances of this kind of behavior where the response by the man when I am more blunt (thank you, but I’m really not interested/in need of your help/opinion/assistance), and the response I get is not, “oh, I’m sorry to intrude.” It’s anger, veiled or unveiled. In some instances, it’s verbal abuse, with or without expletives and insults about my physique. I have never been physically assaulted in a situation like that, fortunately.
If you think that’s because I did not “properly communicate...” well, I’m sorry, but you are wrong. And as a woman who has had a lifetime of this shit... I am restraining myself from saying things that are stronger.
I can give you more. But here is the point: in all of these situations — and in every one of the situations that I would class as mansplaining — I not only never asked to be approached, I never asked for an opinion, or aid. I never gave any indication I was in distress, or in need of a man’s help.