From Dear Prudence this week (excerpt):
Why should I?: My on again/off again boyfriend of 15 years wants me to leave my husband and be with him. But he refuses to divorce his wife even though they are $50,000 in debt because of her. He refuses to help her until she helps herself. Now heís allowing his children to make the same spending mistakes by letting his oldest go into debt for college out of state instead of making a better financial decision with an in-state college. I told him why should I leave my husband who provides for me and isnít in debt for a person who complains about his wife all the time but never does anything about it?
A: This letter provides an exciting challenge, because I donít believe I have an ounce of sympathy for either of you, and Iím finding it particularly difficult to wish for good things for your future. Such opportunities come rarely! It sounds like you do not wish to leave your husband for a financially insecure married man, and I suppose you have your answer there. I canít imagine what sort of life you three would have together, if you left your partner but he stayed with his. As a longtime mistress, you have very little say in where your boyfriendís children go to school, no matter how sound your reasoning. Something tells me they would not appreciate your financial advice. Stick with the bed youíve made for yourself.