Author Topic: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It  (Read 38988 times)

Frankies Girl

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #200 on: July 13, 2017, 11:51:04 AM »
There's an update to the "CEO's Wife" AAM post, and... well, I'll be honest, it was just what I was expecting.

Holy Shit.

This person is so amazingly out of touch. They needed to be TOLD to be polite to receptionists/janitors/security guards? Wow.

Love how they interject that all levels of social classes - not just the pleebs, but also her/his hoity-toity level - use the subway system! Imagine!

And of course OP was too impatient to wait to see if anyone else outside their narrow-worldview social circle might have a differing opinion on what they should do - and went ahead and complained to the HR people AND is leaving a comment on the website... breath-takingly entitled.

I'll bet that company is quite relieved to have dodged that bullet.

I frequently have no idea what I'm talking about. Like now.

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With This Herring

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #201 on: July 13, 2017, 12:04:24 PM »
Quote
I wish I had been told the receptionist/janitor/security guard story by career services at my university, which is one of those prestigious English ones. (Note from Alison: This is a reference to advice that you should be polite to receptionists/janitors/security guards when interviewing.) We get a lot of tips about how to write our resume and cover letter and how we should conduct ourselves during interviews, but not this type of real life recommendation.

Wow.  That almost sounds sociopathic.  Paraphrasing, "I would start being nice to people if I knew it would affect my promotion possibilities!"  So there's noooo other reason that comes to mind for being a decent human being?  Really?
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galliver

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #202 on: July 13, 2017, 12:14:38 PM »
There's an update to the "CEO's Wife" AAM post, and... well, I'll be honest, it was just what I was expecting.

Oh man. What does it say about a person that they wish someone had told them that being an ass to others reflects poorly on them...?

Btw thanks for the "upvote" on the other thread, and I did watch the John Oliver bit and it was great :)

Lis

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #203 on: July 13, 2017, 12:49:32 PM »
Btw thanks for the "upvote" on the other thread, and I did watch the John Oliver bit and it was great :)

:D

Zamboni

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #204 on: July 13, 2017, 01:48:40 PM »
Lol, yep, still someone else's fault he (or she) didn't get the job . . . just now the career services people are also to be blamed for not providing the necessary "don't be an asshole" unit of the curriculum.

galliver

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #205 on: July 13, 2017, 02:55:16 PM »
Lol, yep, still someone else's fault he (or she) didn't get the job . . . just now the career services people are also to be blamed for not providing the necessary "don't be an asshole" unit of the curriculum.

You know, you might be on to something. Except we need it every year, K-12. Since apparently parents aren't teaching it at home anymore.

bridget

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #206 on: July 13, 2017, 03:49:33 PM »
Quote
I wish I had been told the receptionist/janitor/security guard story by career services at my university, which is one of those prestigious English ones. (Note from Alison: This is a reference to advice that you should be polite to receptionists/janitors/security guards when interviewing.) We get a lot of tips about how to write our resume and cover letter and how we should conduct ourselves during interviews, but not this type of real life recommendation.

Wow.  That almost sounds sociopathic.  Paraphrasing, "I would start being nice to people if I knew it would affect my promotion possibilities!"  So there's noooo other reason that comes to mind for being a decent human being?  Really?

In addition to the OP seeming like a jerk, he also came across as being rather stupid and unimaginative.  If you're going to be a boor, you might as well be intelligent enough to foresee that people might not like it and therefore be nice to people for self-serving reasons.

Playing with Fire UK

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #207 on: July 14, 2017, 04:41:18 AM »
Lol, yep, still someone else's fault he (or she) didn't get the job . . . just now the career services people are also to be blamed for not providing the necessary "don't be an asshole" unit of the curriculum.
You know, you might be on to something. Except we need it every year, K-12. Since apparently parents aren't teaching it at home anymore.

I can't speak for all UK universities but I've been reminded of the need to be polite, especially when interviewing, many a time. All those times I thought "do people actually need to be told this?" and now I know!

Lis

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #208 on: July 14, 2017, 07:26:46 AM »
Lol, yep, still someone else's fault he (or she) didn't get the job . . . just now the career services people are also to be blamed for not providing the necessary "don't be an asshole" unit of the curriculum.
You know, you might be on to something. Except we need it every year, K-12. Since apparently parents aren't teaching it at home anymore.

I can't speak for all UK universities but I've been reminded of the need to be polite, especially when interviewing, many a time. All those times I thought "do people actually need to be told this?" and now I know!

Yes but was it a prestigious one like the OPs?

Someone in the comments raised a good point/question and thought that the OP was a foreign exchange student where there are strict class differences and talking/being polite to those "beneath" you is Not A Thing. It's not an excuse, since OP clearly plans on working and living in a different culture, but it could be a reason.

MrMoogle

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #209 on: July 14, 2017, 09:05:53 AM »
Quote
I wish I had been told the receptionist/janitor/security guard story by career services at my university, which is one of those prestigious English ones. (Note from Alison: This is a reference to advice that you should be polite to receptionists/janitors/security guards when interviewing.) We get a lot of tips about how to write our resume and cover letter and how we should conduct ourselves during interviews, but not this type of real life recommendation.

Wow.  That almost sounds sociopathic.  Paraphrasing, "I would start being nice to people if I knew it would affect my promotion possibilities!"  So there's noooo other reason that comes to mind for being a decent human being?  Really?

In addition to the OP seeming like a jerk, he also came across as being rather stupid and unimaginative.  If you're going to be a boor, you might as well be intelligent enough to foresee that people might not like it and therefore be nice to people for self-serving reasons.
Sometimes I question my motives when I do something selfless or empathetic, there's definitely selfish benefits to it. 

Friar

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #210 on: July 14, 2017, 10:46:57 AM »
Posting to follow :)

Laura33

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #211 on: July 14, 2017, 12:58:47 PM »
There's an update to the "CEO's Wife" AAM post, and... well, I'll be honest, it was just what I was expecting.

Holy Shit.

This person is so amazingly out of touch. They needed to be TOLD to be polite to receptionists/janitors/security guards? Wow.

Love how they interject that all levels of social classes - not just the pleebs, but also her/his hoity-toity level - use the subway system! Imagine!

And of course OP was too impatient to wait to see if anyone else outside their narrow-worldview social circle might have a differing opinion on what they should do - and went ahead and complained to the HR people AND is leaving a comment on the website... breath-takingly entitled.

I'll bet that company is quite relieved to have dodged that bullet.

If I were the company, I would be very, very tempted to respond thanking him for confirming our decision.
Laugh while you can, monkey-boy

Playing with Fire UK

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #212 on: July 16, 2017, 12:50:25 AM »
Lol, yep, still someone else's fault he (or she) didn't get the job . . . just now the career services people are also to be blamed for not providing the necessary "don't be an asshole" unit of the curriculum.
You know, you might be on to something. Except we need it every year, K-12. Since apparently parents aren't teaching it at home anymore.
I can't speak for all UK universities but I've been reminded of the need to be polite, especially when interviewing, many a time. All those times I thought "do people actually need to be told this?" and now I know!

Yes but was it a prestigious one like the OPs?

Someone in the comments raised a good point/question and thought that the OP was a foreign exchange student where there are strict class differences and talking/being polite to those "beneath" you is Not A Thing. It's not an excuse, since OP clearly plans on working and living in a different culture, but it could be a reason.

If you consider Oxford a prestigious university then yes.

Of course, I don't go around bragging about it online like the OP because I try to limit the amount of time I spend being a smug arsehole (I'm taking a break in this post :-) ).

A reasonable person would struggle to spend three years (minimum for an undergraduate degree) in the UK and not have the opportunity to learn that being polite to people "beneath" you is typical behaviour. Depending on their background they could still have struggled to internalise it in a new situation.

Playing with Fire UK

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #213 on: July 16, 2017, 12:55:23 AM »
I'll bet that company is quite relieved to have dodged that bullet.
If I were the company, I would be very, very tempted to respond thanking him for confirming our decision.

I did the same thing when someone demanded to know why they hadn't been invited to my wedding. You haven't been invited because you are the kind of person who demands an invite to someone else's wedding, Jackass.

shelivesthedream

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #214 on: July 16, 2017, 02:00:24 AM »
Lol, yep, still someone else's fault he (or she) didn't get the job . . . just now the career services people are also to be blamed for not providing the necessary "don't be an asshole" unit of the curriculum.
You know, you might be on to something. Except we need it every year, K-12. Since apparently parents aren't teaching it at home anymore.
I can't speak for all UK universities but I've been reminded of the need to be polite, especially when interviewing, many a time. All those times I thought "do people actually need to be told this?" and now I know!

Yes but was it a prestigious one like the OPs?

Someone in the comments raised a good point/question and thought that the OP was a foreign exchange student where there are strict class differences and talking/being polite to those "beneath" you is Not A Thing. It's not an excuse, since OP clearly plans on working and living in a different culture, but it could be a reason.

If you consider Oxford a prestigious university then yes.

Of course, I don't go around bragging about it online like the OP because I try to limit the amount of time I spend being a smug arsehole (I'm taking a break in this post :-) ).

A reasonable person would struggle to spend three years (minimum for an undergraduate degree) in the UK and not have the opportunity to learn that being polite to people "beneath" you is typical behaviour. Depending on their background they could still have struggled to internalise it in a new situation.

Cambridge. Even more prestigious. :) They told us. (I know you were joking, Lis.)

acepedro45

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #215 on: July 17, 2017, 09:12:53 AM »
Another AAM gem:

http://www.askamanager.org/2017/07/i-was-fired-after-disabling-my-coworkers-caps-lock-key-leaving-on-time-to-pick-up-my-dog-and-more.html

“I, a teenage summer intern, discovered that my older, more experienced colleague was Guilty of Incorrect Typing. This woman was using the Caps Lock key instead of the twice-as-efficient Shift key. I repeatedly pointed out how wrong it was for her to be typing in this way, even demonstrating the potential efficiency gains. But she insisted that she would continue to type using the plodding, lethargic style she was comfortable with. 

“Did I mention she’s only five years older than me? As most realize, there isn’t much of a difference between a college sophomore and a young professional in her first job. Yet she was unwilling to accept correction from me, one of her peers.

“I finally realized the best way to teach her would be to secretly disable the Caps Lock key on her computer. That way, she would have no choice but to join the twenty-first century and start using the Shift key like the rest of us. I knew she would thank me after the passage of enough time. 

“Surprisingly, she became very angry with my secret efficiency initiative and complained to her manager. They had the nerve to fire me for my corrective initiative! When I complained to HR about the treatment, HR took the side of the Stone Age Caps Lock user. Groupthink I guess!"

With This Herring

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #216 on: July 17, 2017, 09:56:47 AM »
Another AAM gem:

http://www.askamanager.org/2017/07/i-was-fired-after-disabling-my-coworkers-caps-lock-key-leaving-on-time-to-pick-up-my-dog-and-more.html

“I, a teenage summer intern, discovered that my older, more experienced colleague was Guilty of Incorrect Typing. This woman was using the Caps Lock key instead of the twice-as-efficient Shift key. I repeatedly pointed out how wrong it was for her to be typing in this way, even demonstrating the potential efficiency gains. But she insisted that she would continue to type using the plodding, lethargic style she was comfortable with. 

“Did I mention she’s only five years older than me? As most realize, there isn’t much of a difference between a college sophomore and a young professional in her first job. Yet she was unwilling to accept correction from me, one of her peers.

“I finally realized the best way to teach her would be to secretly disable the Caps Lock key on her computer. That way, she would have no choice but to join the twenty-first century and start using the Shift key like the rest of us. I knew she would thank me after the passage of enough time. 

“Surprisingly, she became very angry with my secret efficiency initiative and complained to her manager. They had the nerve to fire me for my corrective initiative! When I complained to HR about the treatment, HR took the side of the Stone Age Caps Lock user. Groupthink I guess!"

Great find, and beautiful paraphrasing!  I wonder how the letter writer would have reacted to someone who types using just index fingers?
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Warlord1986

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #217 on: July 17, 2017, 11:02:16 AM »
I'm having a very difficult time imagining what it must be like to care so much about how other people capitalize letters when they are typing. My imagination is not so well developed.

shelivesthedream

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #218 on: July 17, 2017, 11:48:58 AM »
I once corrected an error in someone's email signature ("effect" when they meant "affect") when I was applying for work experience when I was about nineteen. Nicely ("Just to let you know, I noticed...") but they sent a pretty sharp email back. I still got to do the work experience, but that ranks up there in "biggest regrets of my life". I spent the whole two weeks desperately hoping they wouldn't remember I was "that girl" from the email exchange six months before. I don't think they did and they seemed to like me, but I was dying inside. I was saw an entry-level job advertised when I graduated but I was still so humiliated I didn't apply.

galliver

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #219 on: July 17, 2017, 12:34:17 PM »
I once corrected an error in someone's email signature ("effect" when they meant "affect") when I was applying for work experience when I was about nineteen. Nicely ("Just to let you know, I noticed...") but they sent a pretty sharp email back. I still got to do the work experience, but that ranks up there in "biggest regrets of my life". I spent the whole two weeks desperately hoping they wouldn't remember I was "that girl" from the email exchange six months before. I don't think they did and they seemed to like me, but I was dying inside. I was saw an entry-level job advertised when I graduated but I was still so humiliated I didn't apply.

That sounds like their problem more than yours. If no one ever points out (obviously minor) error in your resume, signature block, etc, how will you know? Who cares if it was an applicant rather than a superior, if they were right? Maybe it wasn't 100% your place to point it out, but it was also 100% silly of them to react negatively when you were obviously trying to be helpful.

With This Herring

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #220 on: July 17, 2017, 01:30:58 PM »
I once corrected an error in someone's email signature ("effect" when they meant "affect") when I was applying for work experience when I was about nineteen. Nicely ("Just to let you know, I noticed...") but they sent a pretty sharp email back. I still got to do the work experience, but that ranks up there in "biggest regrets of my life". I spent the whole two weeks desperately hoping they wouldn't remember I was "that girl" from the email exchange six months before. I don't think they did and they seemed to like me, but I was dying inside. I was saw an entry-level job advertised when I graduated but I was still so humiliated I didn't apply.

That sounds like their problem more than yours. If no one ever points out (obviously minor) error in your resume, signature block, etc, how will you know? Who cares if it was an applicant rather than a superior, if they were right? Maybe it wasn't 100% your place to point it out, but it was also 100% silly of them to react negatively when you were obviously trying to be helpful.

+1.   A one-time error should be ignored, but something consistent that will affect others' perceptions should be pointed out delicately.  After we changed our email signature layout at OldJob, I actually had to tell our IT guy that he had misspelled his own first name, haha.  (No, he doesn't have an uncommon spelling.  I had seen him write it before; this was just a typo.)
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shelivesthedream

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #221 on: July 18, 2017, 06:54:34 AM »
I once corrected an error in someone's email signature ("effect" when they meant "affect") when I was applying for work experience when I was about nineteen. Nicely ("Just to let you know, I noticed...") but they sent a pretty sharp email back. I still got to do the work experience, but that ranks up there in "biggest regrets of my life". I spent the whole two weeks desperately hoping they wouldn't remember I was "that girl" from the email exchange six months before. I don't think they did and they seemed to like me, but I was dying inside. I was saw an entry-level job advertised when I graduated but I was still so humiliated I didn't apply.

That sounds like their problem more than yours. If no one ever points out (obviously minor) error in your resume, signature block, etc, how will you know? Who cares if it was an applicant rather than a superior, if they were right? Maybe it wasn't 100% your place to point it out, but it was also 100% silly of them to react negatively when you were obviously trying to be helpful.

+1.   A one-time error should be ignored, but something consistent that will affect others' perceptions should be pointed out delicately.  After we changed our email signature layout at OldJob, I actually had to tell our IT guy that he had misspelled his own first name, haha.  (No, he doesn't have an uncommon spelling.  I had seen him write it before; this was just a typo.)

It was a while ago so I don't remember what I wrote, but I was eighteen and while I'm sure it felt like I was trying to be helpful there was a fair chance I was in fact being a sanctimonious butthead.

Lis

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #222 on: July 18, 2017, 07:30:07 AM »
I once corrected an error in someone's email signature ("effect" when they meant "affect") when I was applying for work experience when I was about nineteen. Nicely ("Just to let you know, I noticed...") but they sent a pretty sharp email back. I still got to do the work experience, but that ranks up there in "biggest regrets of my life". I spent the whole two weeks desperately hoping they wouldn't remember I was "that girl" from the email exchange six months before. I don't think they did and they seemed to like me, but I was dying inside. I was saw an entry-level job advertised when I graduated but I was still so humiliated I didn't apply.

That sounds like their problem more than yours. If no one ever points out (obviously minor) error in your resume, signature block, etc, how will you know? Who cares if it was an applicant rather than a superior, if they were right? Maybe it wasn't 100% your place to point it out, but it was also 100% silly of them to react negatively when you were obviously trying to be helpful.

+1.   A one-time error should be ignored, but something consistent that will affect others' perceptions should be pointed out delicately.  After we changed our email signature layout at OldJob, I actually had to tell our IT guy that he had misspelled his own first name, haha.  (No, he doesn't have an uncommon spelling.  I had seen him write it before; this was just a typo.)

It was a while ago so I don't remember what I wrote, but I was eighteen and while I'm sure it felt like I was trying to be helpful there was a fair chance I was in fact being a sanctimonious butthead.

I was definitely that overeager young new coworker who could fix everything! Why do it this way, when that way would be more efficient? Did you know you could do this and it would make everything easier? Thankfully *most* of my coworkers laughed it off and helped me settle into a functioning, mostly helpful young employee who eventually realized that not everything needed to be 'fixed' and that things were done a certain way for reasons I may not understand yet as a new person. Four years in and I still blush at some of the suggestions I made. (One of my coworkers *hates* me and I've never been able to figure out why, which affected me when I was on her team, but now that I'm off it's more funny than hurtful (except when I have to work with her, then it's just a nightmare.))

Sibley

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #223 on: July 18, 2017, 11:58:29 AM »
I once corrected an error in someone's email signature ("effect" when they meant "affect") when I was applying for work experience when I was about nineteen. Nicely ("Just to let you know, I noticed...") but they sent a pretty sharp email back. I still got to do the work experience, but that ranks up there in "biggest regrets of my life". I spent the whole two weeks desperately hoping they wouldn't remember I was "that girl" from the email exchange six months before. I don't think they did and they seemed to like me, but I was dying inside. I was saw an entry-level job advertised when I graduated but I was still so humiliated I didn't apply.

That sounds like their problem more than yours. If no one ever points out (obviously minor) error in your resume, signature block, etc, how will you know? Who cares if it was an applicant rather than a superior, if they were right? Maybe it wasn't 100% your place to point it out, but it was also 100% silly of them to react negatively when you were obviously trying to be helpful.

+1.   A one-time error should be ignored, but something consistent that will affect others' perceptions should be pointed out delicately.  After we changed our email signature layout at OldJob, I actually had to tell our IT guy that he had misspelled his own first name, haha.  (No, he doesn't have an uncommon spelling.  I had seen him write it before; this was just a typo.)

It was a while ago so I don't remember what I wrote, but I was eighteen and while I'm sure it felt like I was trying to be helpful there was a fair chance I was in fact being a sanctimonious butthead.

To be fair, I think most teenagers are sanctimonious buttheads. The key is growing out of it.

Playing with Fire UK

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #224 on: July 18, 2017, 03:11:49 PM »
Cambridge. Even more prestigious. :) They told us. (I know you were joking, Lis.)

Bother, Top Trumped at fancy universities. I heard Lis's joke too, I was attempting funny in return but maybe it missed? [The other smug arsehole was the AAM OP]

With This Herring

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #225 on: July 22, 2017, 10:42:01 PM »
I just ran into this older Ask A Manager post:
can I expose this terrible interviewer?
Because your toaster got hacked because you tried to watch porn on your blender.

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Playing with Fire UK

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #226 on: July 22, 2017, 11:40:42 PM »
I just ran into this older Ask A Manager post:
can I expose this terrible interviewer?

My favourite line: "Clearly, he is the one with the problem".

LeRainDrop

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #227 on: July 23, 2017, 02:00:34 AM »
I just ran into this older Ask A Manager post:
can I expose this terrible interviewer?

My favourite line: "Clearly, he is the one with the problem".

Ick, that job applicant has such a nightmare personality!

And then, in case you missed it in the comments section, Ask A Manager actually ended up banning the OP for a week!  "The letter-writer became hostile and angry enough that I ultimately ended up banning him from further commenting here for a week."

Playing with Fire UK

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #228 on: July 23, 2017, 08:56:05 AM »
I just ran into this older Ask A Manager post:
can I expose this terrible interviewer?

My favourite line: "Clearly, he is the one with the problem".

Ick, that job applicant has such a nightmare personality!

And then, in case you missed it in the comments section, Ask A Manager actually ended up banning the OP for a week!  "The letter-writer became hostile and angry enough that I ultimately ended up banning him from further commenting here for a week."

Well Ask A Manager clearly has an attitude problem too. Maybe she needs some training in people skills. /s

Vindicated

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #229 on: July 24, 2017, 09:13:41 AM »
Found this after digging into threads off of the last link:

http://www.askamanager.org/2013/10/being-intentionally-late-to-an-interview-as-a-strategy.html

Arriving late to interviews on purpose?!?
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galliver

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #230 on: July 24, 2017, 11:37:00 AM »
I just ran into this older Ask A Manager post:
can I expose this terrible interviewer?

My favourite line: "Clearly, he is the one with the problem".

Ick, that job applicant has such a nightmare personality!

And then, in case you missed it in the comments section, Ask A Manager actually ended up banning the OP for a week!  "The letter-writer became hostile and angry enough that I ultimately ended up banning him from further commenting here for a week."

I think they both have nightmare personalities, and possibly deserved each other. The interviewer reminds me of a number of professors I've met who mistake being difficult (on a personality level) for challenging the candidate (on an intellectual level). I also totally believe a person like that would eyeroll/grumble at any mention of ethics. On the other hand, the candidate totally comes off as entitled and high-maintenance (as do people who write similar restaurant reviews...)

An experience that comes to mind is, at my first-ever poster session (at an undergrad research symposium) one of our judges got bored a whopping 10 seconds after we started our 2-3 minute presentation/spiel, interrupted, asked about something in our results as we were barely finishing our introduction, got confused (because we had skipped half of the presentation!), we backtracked to clarify, he kept interrupting and asking questions about other parts of the poster...and in the end he had the gall to say our presentation was "disorganized" or "disjointed" or something. VERY frustrating experience. Interviewer reminded me of him.

Warlord1986

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #231 on: July 24, 2017, 12:32:35 PM »
Found this after digging into threads off of the last link:

http://www.askamanager.org/2013/10/being-intentionally-late-to-an-interview-as-a-strategy.html

Arriving late to interviews on purpose?!?

That's actually a repost of a 2009 letter. The OP responded to the comments in 2009 and s(he) is exactly what you'd expect.

http://www.askamanager.org/2009/08/being-intentionally-late-to-interview.html

My favorite part is when s(he) comments that people don't value personal integrity.

aetherie

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #232 on: July 25, 2017, 11:18:13 AM »
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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #234 on: July 25, 2017, 11:40:39 AM »
Make sure to read the OP's elaboration in the comments:
http://www.askamanager.org/2017/07/is-the-work-environment-ive-created-on-my-team-too-exclusive.html#comment-1572938

:-O  Yikes!

Double yikes - this "manager" is horrid. I hope HR pays attention (HAHAHA! who am I kidding!)

MonkeyJenga

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #235 on: July 25, 2017, 11:49:19 AM »
Since this thread seems to have become 100% Ask A Manager, here's a gem from today:
http://www.askamanager.org/2017/07/is-the-work-environment-ive-created-on-my-team-too-exclusive.html

Make sure to read the OP's elaboration in the comments:
http://www.askamanager.org/2017/07/is-the-work-environment-ive-created-on-my-team-too-exclusive.html#comment-1572938

I took a training course on workplace harassment about one hour ago, and damn, does this person need one of those. Textbook case. I hope it's fake. I was a first-time manager around 27/28 and I was never that oblivious and vindictive.

Vindicated

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #236 on: July 25, 2017, 11:52:01 AM »
I scrolled down through the comments to find that she's also talking about how she's "better educated" than the employee who left, because she has an MBA...

Wow.  This is a(n) good awful one.

Edited he to she.  Allison mentioned in the comments that OP is a female, not a male, based on the e-mail address used.
« Last Edit: July 25, 2017, 12:01:35 PM by Vindicated »
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Laura33

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #237 on: July 25, 2017, 12:14:04 PM »
Make sure to read the OP's elaboration in the comments:
http://www.askamanager.org/2017/07/is-the-work-environment-ive-created-on-my-team-too-exclusive.html#comment-1572938

:-O  Yikes!

Double yikes - this "manager" is horrid. I hope HR pays attention (HAHAHA! who am I kidding!)

The only good thing the letter writer wrote is her admission in the comments that HR put her on suspension pending investigation.
Laugh while you can, monkey-boy

Lis

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #238 on: July 25, 2017, 12:33:33 PM »
Make sure to read the OP's elaboration in the comments:
http://www.askamanager.org/2017/07/is-the-work-environment-ive-created-on-my-team-too-exclusive.html#comment-1572938

:-O  Yikes!

Double yikes - this "manager" is horrid. I hope HR pays attention (HAHAHA! who am I kidding!)

The only good thing the letter writer wrote is her admission in the comments that HR put her on suspension pending investigation.

FFS... I read this this morning and thought, ok, this manager is at the very least asking for advice. The letter definitely read "tell me I'm right" but maybe there's a small chance they're willing to hear they're wrong. I read a lot of the comments and (like usual) appreciated the insight to most of the commentators, but I missed the letter writer's response, and all I could think of was, "are you fucking kidding me??"
- Your team was behaving in an extremely hostile, bullying, unprofessional, and overall shitty way. They a) took pictures of another employee and b) posted it to social media and c) made fun "of her weight, her clothes/style, how much water she drank etc." HUGE FUCKING PROBLEM.
- Someone saw it and found it not funny and complained to HR (RIGHTLY FUCKING SO). Yet you want to penalize them. First of all, no. Second of all, there are usually whistleblower rules protecting this person. Third, you're a fucking idiot.
- "If I knew she would have been like this, I would have pushed back on my director not to hire her in favor for someone younger but she had a fantastic background that wowed my higher ups." What the actual fuck. Translated from douchebag: "If I knew she would have cramped our style and prevented us from having our dudebro fun by day drinking and participating in general assholery, I would have had a temper tantrum at my boss, but because she actually knew how to do her job and would probably make us do our jobs, my boss hired her anyway."

You're the reason millennials in the work place get a bad rep, asshat.

Edited to add: oh wait, out of all the comments the LW could have responded to, they made a comment regarding how they're so much better educated because they have an MBA versus just the Bachelors in public policy the colleague who left had.
« Last Edit: July 25, 2017, 03:32:17 PM by Lis »

Laura33

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #239 on: July 25, 2017, 12:43:00 PM »
You're the reason millennials in the work place get a bad rep, asshat.

But . . . but . . . she had an MBA, and the old-fart fun-killer only had a Bachelors!  So she *must* be right!  Right?  Right??
Laugh while you can, monkey-boy

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #240 on: July 25, 2017, 01:17:33 PM »
Well, I was just reading this thread, then saw this on FB. I think it qualifies.

http://www.boredpanda.com/mom-breast-milk-brownies-school-bake-sale/?utm_source=CB20&utm_medium=link&utm_campaign=SAW

MrMoogle

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #241 on: July 25, 2017, 01:33:57 PM »
You're the reason millennials in the work place get a bad rep, asshat.

But . . . but . . . she had an MBA, and the old-fart fun-killer only had a Bachelors!  So she *must* be right!  Right?  Right??
Which probably means the one with the Bachelors probably has double or triple the amount of experience the MBA has in the real world.

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #242 on: July 25, 2017, 02:18:05 PM »
Make sure to read the OP's elaboration in the comments:
http://www.askamanager.org/2017/07/is-the-work-environment-ive-created-on-my-team-too-exclusive.html#comment-1572938

:-O  Yikes!

Double yikes - this "manager" is horrid. I hope HR pays attention (HAHAHA! who am I kidding!)

The only good thing the letter writer wrote is her admission in the comments that HR put her on suspension pending investigation.

FFS... I read this this morning and thought, ok, this manager is at the very least asking for advice. The letter definitely read "tell me I'm right" but maybe there's a small chance they're willing to hear they're wrong. I read a lot of the comments and (like usual) appreciated the insight to most of the commentators, but I missed the letter writer's response, and all I could think of was, "are you fucking kidding me??"
- Your team was behaving in an extremely hostile, bullying, unprofessional, and overall shitty way. They a) took pictures of another employee and b) posted it to social media and c) made fun "of her weight, her clothes/style, how much water she drank etc." HUGE FUCKING PROBLEM.
- Someone saw it and found it not funny and complained to HR (RIGHTLY FUCKING SO). Yet you want to penalize them. First of all, no. Second of all, there are usually whistleblower rules protecting this person. Third, you're a fucking idiot.
- "If I knew she would have been like this, I would have pushed back on my director not to hire her in favor for someone younger but she had a fantastic background that wowed my higher ups." What the actual fuck. Translated from douchebag: "If I knew she would have cramped our style and prevented us from having our dudebro fun by day drinking and participating in general assholery, I would have had a temper tantrum at my boss, but because she actually knew how to do her job and would probably make us do our jobs, my boss hired her anyway."

You're the reason millennials in the work place get a bad rep, asshat.

There are assholes and shitty workplace cultures at all ages. Yet when a young person does something, it's because they're a millennial? Don't judge an entire generation based on ask a manager anecdotes.

Lis

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #243 on: July 25, 2017, 03:30:35 PM »
Not sure how I managed to double post myself when I tried to edit? Oops. Sorry folks, I'll try and fix.

There are assholes and shitty workplace cultures at all ages. Yet when a young person does something, it's because they're a millennial? Don't judge an entire generation based on ask a manager anecdotes.

Sorry, rage didn't make me eloquent. For the record, I'm a millennial who hates all the ridiculous stereotypes. There were a bunch of comments in the comment section discussing millennials, hence my focus on it. I absolutely agree that there are assholes in every age group, but extra attention is drawn to millennials when they do something - because they're entitled, spoiled, whatever term is thrown around to knock us down. So I let my frustration get the best of me because a) this person is a serious asshole and has no business being in a management position and b) it's further ammunition for millennial hate.

LeRainDrop

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #244 on: July 25, 2017, 04:35:52 PM »
Since this thread seems to have become 100% Ask A Manager, here's a gem from today:
http://www.askamanager.org/2017/07/is-the-work-environment-ive-created-on-my-team-too-exclusive.html

Make sure to read the OP's elaboration in the comments:
http://www.askamanager.org/2017/07/is-the-work-environment-ive-created-on-my-team-too-exclusive.html#comment-1572938

Well, I was just reading this thread, then saw this on FB. I think it qualifies.

http://www.boredpanda.com/mom-breast-milk-brownies-school-bake-sale/?utm_source=CB20&utm_medium=link&utm_campaign=SAW

OMG, two AMAZING contributions to this thread today!  Thank you, aetherie and Sibley!


MonkeyJenga

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #246 on: July 25, 2017, 06:12:38 PM »
Not sure how I managed to double post myself when I tried to edit? Oops. Sorry folks, I'll try and fix.

There are assholes and shitty workplace cultures at all ages. Yet when a young person does something, it's because they're a millennial? Don't judge an entire generation based on ask a manager anecdotes.

Sorry, rage didn't make me eloquent. For the record, I'm a millennial who hates all the ridiculous stereotypes. There were a bunch of comments in the comment section discussing millennials, hence my focus on it. I absolutely agree that there are assholes in every age group, but extra attention is drawn to millennials when they do something - because they're entitled, spoiled, whatever term is thrown around to knock us down. So I let my frustration get the best of me because a) this person is a serious asshole and has no business being in a management position and b) it's further ammunition for millennial hate.

Gotcha.

And holy grossness at that breast milk brownie. She should stop giving moms a bad name. ;)

rosaz

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #247 on: July 27, 2017, 06:59:09 PM »
I love the juxtaposition between these awful Ask a Manager posts and the linked post in the sidebar "My boss's kid punched me in the groin".

Sibley

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #248 on: July 28, 2017, 08:14:53 AM »
This is a 3rd party OP doesn't see it, but the attitude of the driver in #1. Really wish that driver would write in.

http://www.askamanager.org/2017/07/my-coworker-caused-a-car-accident-and-i-dont-want-to-ride-with-her-taking-notes-at-a-job-interview-and-more.html

Frankies Girl

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #249 on: July 28, 2017, 10:02:21 AM »
The terrible manager from this link had other updates, just as asshole/clueless:

First, Alison suspended them after the "ha ha I'm so much smaaaarter than former worker (I've got an MBA)" comment for being clueless.

Then this:

http://www.askamanager.org/2017/07/is-the-work-environment-ive-created-on-my-team-too-exclusive.html#comment-1573249
For those not wanting to click over:
I’m on a suspension pending investigation from work. I am extremely bitter that the person who turned in the SnapChats couldnt come to me first…


Hooray for good HR people! This entitled jerk may actually face consequences for their stupid, stupid actions!!



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