Author Topic: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It  (Read 33186 times)

patchyfacialhair

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #100 on: August 24, 2016, 08:36:47 PM »
I was just about to post the update.

I...uh...what?

yuka

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #101 on: August 24, 2016, 10:02:53 PM »

I'm with you.  But just for humor's sake, how about this workplace?  http://www.askamanager.org/2015/04/i-walked-in-on-employees-having-sex-and-i-think-there-might-be-a-sex-club-in-my-office.html

And the letter writer's update:  http://www.askamanager.org/2015/06/update-i-walked-in-on-employees-having-sex-and-i-think-theres-a-sex-club-in-my-office.html

This makes me long for my lost naivete in which I used to suspect exactly no one of lying on the internet. It was a great story though!

With This Herring

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #102 on: August 24, 2016, 10:47:44 PM »
I just...wow.

I would call phony, but...she's had weirder letters.  There was one about an interview process that involved the candidates throwing a party for the existing employees of the company, including a dance number.  It was posted by OP, then confirmed by a few other interview candidates in the comments.  There was a follow-up, and people also confirmed the name of the (well-known) NFP that was doing the hiring.  (I think I read about this first somewhere else on MMM forums, but I don't recall where.)
Because your toaster got hacked because you tried to watch porn on your blender.

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LeRainDrop

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #103 on: August 24, 2016, 11:29:53 PM »
I just...wow.

I would call phony, but...she's had weirder letters.  There was one about an interview process that involved the candidates throwing a party for the existing employees of the company, including a dance number.  It was posted by OP, then confirmed by a few other interview candidates in the comments.  There was a follow-up, and people also confirmed the name of the (well-known) NFP that was doing the hiring.  (I think I read about this first somewhere else on MMM forums, but I don't recall where.)

Ohhh, right -- Operation Smile in Norfolk, Virginia!

G-dog

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #104 on: August 25, 2016, 07:16:57 AM »
Wow! To both the duck club (supervisor says "quack quack"? How fucking creepy is that!?) and the catering portion of the interview process (that's just abusive and possibly illegal).

With This Herring

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #105 on: October 14, 2016, 07:09:03 AM »
In hopes of reviving this thread, here's are dueling stories about a party.  The first letter you will see fits our topic.
Etiquette Hell - Holiday Party Custody Battles
Because your toaster got hacked because you tried to watch porn on your blender.

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Lis

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #106 on: October 14, 2016, 12:30:41 PM »
Bumping to follow. This is wonderful :)

G-dog

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #107 on: October 14, 2016, 01:26:53 PM »
In hopes of reviving this thread, here's are dueling stories about a party.  The first letter you will see fits our topic.
Etiquette Hell - Holiday Party Custody Battles

I think the second letter does too.
Thanks for bumping this up again!

mustachepungoeshere

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #108 on: October 20, 2016, 04:07:03 PM »

Dicey

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #109 on: October 20, 2016, 06:23:20 PM »
In hopes of reviving this thread, here's are dueling stories about a party.  The first letter you will see fits our topic.
Etiquette Hell - Holiday Party Custody Battles
Oh, boy! Ehell has a new fan. Thanks, WTH!
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LeRainDrop

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #110 on: October 21, 2016, 12:08:49 AM »
In hopes of reviving this thread, here's are dueling stories about a party.  The first letter you will see fits our topic.
Etiquette Hell - Holiday Party Custody Battles
Oh, boy! Ehell has a new fan. Thanks, WTH!

Same here.  I loved that one.

With This Herring

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #111 on: October 21, 2016, 03:15:03 PM »
Via Reddit:

'My boss was murdered - how soon can I ask for a raise?'

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/58g1tt/my_25m_boss_was_murdered_now_im_wondering_how/

The post has been deleted!  I guess that's not a surprise, considering how easily that kind of topic could be used to identify the OP.
Because your toaster got hacked because you tried to watch porn on your blender.

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BlueHouse

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #112 on: October 26, 2016, 12:02:34 PM »
Via Reddit:

'My boss was murdered - how soon can I ask for a raise?'

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/58g1tt/my_25m_boss_was_murdered_now_im_wondering_how/

Reminds me (sorta) of a previous employer who fired a friend of mine.  Small company and we were friends because we were the youngest people in the company and we were both single.  Other than that, not too much in common, so not besties or anything.   The night before the firing, my friend/co-worker called me at home and said he thought he was going to get fired.  I said I thought it was a possibility because he'd been slacking off quite a bit lately.  We both laughed and said "oh well, if you do, you better work harder at the next place".  The next day, after  friend was fired, the boss called me into his office to see my reaction to the firing.  Boss thought I would be mad or hold it against him.  I didn't have much of an opinion other than what I had said to friend the previous night, so I just kept my mouth shut.  Boss must have really thought I was having an attitude about it, because he went on and on about how much all of the developers were paid.  I was trying to be courteous and say "okay", but after the third or fourth time of the boss implying that their earnings so far exceeded their value when compared to my own decent but not excessive salary, I finally said "well, since ALL of those funds are freed up now, perhaps now is a good time to ask for a raise". 

He seemed almost relieved and gave me a $10K per year raise right on the spot.     Not quite murder, but still, I never felt right telling my friend that I got a raise the day he was fired. 
Sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand

ariapluscat

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #113 on: October 27, 2016, 12:10:12 PM »
If you like this sort of thing, you should frequent reddit's r/relationships.  It is my guilty pleasure.  Not all of the threads have that dynamic, but quite a few do. 

Here is a classic example:  https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/4ufb0r/update_my_18_parents_keep_insisting_that_im_gay/

lol, i had this too, but not just parents. hilarious to have an 'i was right' conversation shoe horned into coming out

ariapluscat

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #114 on: October 27, 2016, 01:20:13 PM »

This thread in general is very descriptive of a good friend of mine who always thinks everyone else is mad at her or excluding her or in some way creating some drama that doesn't exist. I try to tell her over and over "I reeeeally don't think that is what is happening", but she defends herself until at some point resorts to "you just don't understand" or "you didn't hear the way she said it". It actually makes me really sad because I know that my friend is not intentionally lying, but truly feels like she is being betrayed or disliked when that is absolutely not the case. She is ~26 and recently received her PhD in Engineering...

do we have a friend in common?

Mel70

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #115 on: October 27, 2016, 03:00:47 PM »
Either half of the stuff submitted to "ask a manager" is fabricated trolling, or my already low opinion of humanity will need to be adjusted even farther downward.
Sad. Adjusting my opinion of humanity to go even farther downward.

With This Herring

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #116 on: November 07, 2016, 11:13:43 AM »
From our own forums:
Advice on toxic boss

OP's initial post doesn't come across as intended...
Because your toaster got hacked because you tried to watch porn on your blender.

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acepedro45

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #117 on: March 24, 2017, 11:15:25 AM »
Dredging up an old but beloved thread because I came across not one, but two, gems today.


http://www.askamanager.org/2017/03/my-assistant-quit-because-of-st-patricks-day-pinching.html

My assistant quit on the spot when co-workers insulted her heritage and pinched her butt. If anyone asks for a reference in the future, how should I decline to give it?

https://loveletters.boston.com/2017/03/doesnt-talk-losing-wife.html

My jerk of a boyfriend never told me that he'd been married earlier and that his wife died. Whatever feelings this clod may have about her, they can't possibly be as important as MY needs. Me, me, ME!

Edited for grammar.

BabyShark

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #118 on: March 24, 2017, 11:56:20 AM »
This thread is gold.  Thank you for updating acepedro45.

G-dog

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #119 on: March 24, 2017, 12:06:19 PM »
Adults pinch each other on St. Patricks? I remember this from being a kid - but geez.

Reference/recommendation: As an employee, Erin doesn't appreciate being pinched, especially near the butt. So as long as that is not a job requirement, she'll likely be fine.

meerkat

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #120 on: March 24, 2017, 12:26:39 PM »
Adults pinch each other on St. Patricks? I remember this from being a kid - but geez.

Someone did this to me once at work, in the spirit of silliness. I reflexively smacked her hand away, hard. Thankfully we get along well, but that blurred friends/coworkers line is probably why she felt like I'd be okay with it in the first place.

Reference/recommendation: As an employee, Erin doesn't appreciate being pinched, especially near the butt. So as long as that is not a job requirement, she'll likely be fine.

I'd love to know what goes through the mind of the person hearing that reference with no context.
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Dicey

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #121 on: March 24, 2017, 01:19:47 PM »
Dredging up an old but beloved thread...

https://loveletters.boston.com/2017/03/doesnt-talk-losing-wife.html

My jerk of a boyfriend never told me that he'd been married earlier and that his wife died. Whatever feelings this clod may have about her, they can't possibly be as important as MY needs. Me, me, ME!

Edited for grammar.

Acepedro45, thank you for administering CPR to this thread. That second gem really resonates with me. I don't want to do more than lurk there occasionally, so may I post my comment here? Hope so.

My story has some parallels, though I did know of DH's first wife before she died. DH and I started dating not terribly long afterward. We didn't realize we were dating, exactly. (The saga is in the process of unfolding slowly on my journal if you want more deets.)

He proposed only six months after she died. I knew it was a risk, but I trusted him and my gut. We ended up eloping about a month later. Then a bunch of life changes happened and we were too busy to think/talk too much about it.

She was his high school sweetheart They were married almost 25 years and he never even kissed another girl. She died rather unexpectedly, in part because she did not seek medical attention in a timely manner, despite multiple attempts from him and other family members. To clarify, i knew the general details, but he didn't talk much about her personally or about their married life.

Finally, on a long road trip, I asked him why he never mentioned her. After a really long pause, he managed to choke out, "Because it hurts too much".

That was several years ago and I haven't brought it up since. in short, he was happy, then he was devastated, then he found a different kind of happy.

My message to that silly girl is to leave it alone! If she can't keep her nose out of it and accept him for the person he is today, she meets to do them all a favor and walk the hell away. 

Ace: fixed that wonky autofill typo. Sorry.
« Last Edit: March 27, 2017, 08:12:11 AM by Dicey »
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Secretly Saving

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #122 on: March 24, 2017, 03:27:05 PM »
Like Frankie's Girl, I have a great story that I could tell here.  It's actually my spouse's story to tell about an employee.  Maybe some day I'll be able to share it.  In the meantime, I'll keep following along to catch other people's drama!

calimom

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #123 on: March 26, 2017, 02:43:18 PM »
I frequent an online young widows' bulletin board. For privacy's sake, I won't post the link, but here's the whine:

OP is a fiftyish widow with an advanced degree. Her DH was career military and died five or so years ago. She has a teenaged son and collects SS survivors' benefits, and a VA pension. About a year ago OP went online to a Christian dating site. and found New Guy. Even though both are deeply religious and sex outside of marriage is forbidden, they risked it and started sleeping together immediately. But New Guy has taught the OP how to live again. How to love again.

So now they decide their love warrants a Christian Marriage, as the OP refers to it. No more tempting fate and upsetting Jesus. OP wants to do it right and wear a white gown and have Mr. and Mrs. New Guy listed in the church directory. And here's the dilemma,  OP has gone to the preacher to start wedding preparations, and makes the ever-so-slightly small demand that the preacher perform the Christian Ceremony, but not file the necessary paperwork with their jurisdiction. Bend the rules, as it were. Why is the OP requesting this deception? Because she does not wish to give up her sweet, sweet Gubmint Cheese. Some she'd keep, like the SS benefits for the minor child, but the widow may not claim widow status and be remarried. Shocking. The widow needs all the money she can get, she has bills and doesn't  like working. New Guy is terrible with finances, major debt and an "evil greedy ex-wife". So OP doesn't wish to cast her lot with him in any way other than The Christian Marriage.

OP won't look at this any other way. She wants what she wants, which is basically to be married to two men at the same time. One dead and one living. The church does not agree. The VA, SS, and IRS do not agree. Everything, every institution is conspiring against OP and New Guy. No one understands! Their love is the real thing! There should be separation of church and state, she protests!

Freckles

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #124 on: March 26, 2017, 06:35:21 PM »
I don't have a story to share, but I don't want to lose track of this thread.

Playing with Fire UK

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #125 on: March 27, 2017, 01:54:15 AM »
The widow needs all the money she can get, she has bills and doesn't  like working.

Their love is the real thing! There should be separation of church and state, she protests!

Interesting stuff. New Guy does not sound like someone I would like to be married to. Sounds like she should find a friend to dress up and play at weddings for a day so she gets to wear a white dress. I'm guessing that if her deity is okay with the widow's benefits fraud thing they'd be okay with the pretend wedding thing.

I also have bills and dislike working, is their some free money available for me also. I didn't realise that this was an option for special people like the OP and me.

NoStacheOhio

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #126 on: March 27, 2017, 06:15:04 AM »
OP won't look at this any other way. She wants what she wants, which is basically to be married to two men at the same time. One dead and one living. The church does not agree. The VA, SS, and IRS do not agree. Everything, every institution is conspiring against OP and New Guy. No one understands! Their love is the real thing! There should be separation of church and state, she protests!

My favorite part is that the VA, SS and IRS couldn't give two figs what they do with their genitals in private. Only the church, and even then, I feel like most of them at this point are like "don't ask, don't tell."
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Dicey

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #127 on: March 27, 2017, 08:17:09 AM »
The widow needs all the money she can get, she has bills and doesn't  like working.

Their love is the real thing! There should be separation of church and state, she protests!

Interesting stuff. New Guy does not sound like someone I would like to be married to. Sounds like she should find a friend to dress up and play at weddings for a day so she gets to wear a white dress. I'm guessing that if her deity is okay with the widow's benefits fraud thing they'd be okay with the pretend wedding thing.

I also have bills and dislike working, is their some free money available for me also. I didn't realise that this was an option for special people like the OP and me.
Love your take on this whack-job story.

And calimom, I am sorry for your loss. I hope there's a different kind of happy in your future.
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acepedro45

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #128 on: March 31, 2017, 07:40:27 AM »
Another one from Alison of Askamanager.com....

http://www.askamanager.org/2017/03/im-embarrassed-that-my-employee-paid-cash-at-a-business-lunch-we-all-get-the-same-raises-and-more.html

My employee had the gall, the absolute gall, to pay CASH at a BUSINESS LUNCH!!! Can you even imagine?! In a BUSINESS SETTING? I and my stuffy friends were hopelessly embarrassed by this disgusting creature at the lunch (where I of course required her to pay her own way while I and my aforementioned friends whipped out our company cards).

What's more, the freak has a number of other bizarre qualities. First of all, she's young! She doesn't know that proper business etiquette is to be 25 or older. What's more, she doesn't waste time on social media of any kind. She doesn't own a TV and I suspect that is part of the problem she has absorbing cultural norms. No wonder she is so out of touch with proper decorum.

meerkat

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #129 on: March 31, 2017, 08:00:58 AM »
Another one from Alison of Askamanager.com....

http://www.askamanager.org/2017/03/im-embarrassed-that-my-employee-paid-cash-at-a-business-lunch-we-all-get-the-same-raises-and-more.html

My employee had the gall, the absolute gall, to pay CASH at a BUSINESS LUNCH!!! Can you even imagine?! In a BUSINESS SETTING? I and my stuffy friends were hopelessly embarrassed by this disgusting creature at the lunch (where I of course required her to pay her own way while I and my aforementioned friends whipped out our company cards).

What's more, the freak has a number of other bizarre qualities. First of all, she's young! She doesn't know that proper business etiquette is to be 25 or older. What's more, she doesn't waste time on social media of any kind. She doesn't own a TV and I suspect that is part of the problem she has absorbing cultural norms. No wonder she is so out of touch with proper decorum.

Ha, I thought of this forum when I read that. One small nit pick, I think the age was mentioned as a sort of "she's too young to have learned proper business etiquette, I should show her the Error Of Her Ways!"
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Lis

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #130 on: March 31, 2017, 10:40:08 AM »
Hahaha I read that this morning too. As a fellow youngish person, I didn't know if that was some sort of business etiquette thing (every business meal I've been on has been picked up on the company card, which is definitely not in my wallet). Based on the comments, it seems like it is not. I found it more strange that they split the bill on a business lunch... usually when it's a meeting lunch (she mentions there were people from four different companies), one company will pick it up. Weird.

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merula

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #131 on: March 31, 2017, 11:03:03 AM »
AAM is a treasure :)

+1000

I thought the "25" comment was being really condescending either way. Either she's too young to be able to provide any value to her employer, or she's too young to know anything about anything. One isn't better than the other.

And I read the "business lunch" as "a group of colleagues went to lunch" not "taking current/potential clients/business partners to lunch".

I wonder if the manager is mad because people who can manage their money that well probably have or will soon have FU money. Employees who need their job lest they fall in to utter ruin are much easier to control.

NoStacheOhio

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #132 on: March 31, 2017, 11:04:29 AM »
Ha, I thought of this forum when I read that. One small nit pick, I think the age was mentioned as a sort of "she's too young to have learned proper business etiquette, I should show her the Error Of Her Ways!"

I would agree, except for all the other bizarre complaints after that. She's 25, but nothing happens when I Google her name, what's wrong with her?! *clutches pearls*
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meerkat

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #133 on: March 31, 2017, 11:36:58 AM »
I thought the "25" comment was being really condescending either way. Either she's too young to be able to provide any value to her employer, or she's too young to know anything about anything. One isn't better than the other.

True.
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Lis

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #134 on: March 31, 2017, 11:57:59 AM »
And I read the "business lunch" as "a group of colleagues went to lunch" not "taking current/potential clients/business partners to lunch".

That would make more sense. But then the complaint makes even less sense! I still don't see the issue with paying cash at a *business* lunch (not just colleagues grabbing lunch, but a working lunch), but if it's a personal lunch with colleague friends, then I have zero clue what the issue is with paying cash.

Had this actually been a breach of business etiquette, I didn't see that the comment about being 25 and being too young to have learned proper business etiquette that condescending. It was the rest of the bizarre complaints that did it for me.

Vindicated

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #135 on: March 31, 2017, 01:00:37 PM »
P2F!  These are wonderful
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Tasty Pinecones

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #136 on: March 31, 2017, 02:11:55 PM »
What's more, the freak has a number of other bizarre qualities. First of all, she's young! She doesn't know that proper business etiquette is to be 25 or older. What's more, she doesn't waste time on social media of any kind. She doesn't own a TV and I suspect that is part of the problem she has absorbing cultural norms. No wonder she is so out of touch with proper decorum.

And beyond that the youngster probably doesn't even have the "collector's edition special carbon fiber platinum gold plated credit card for special members only for a limited time only card" stored in a wallet from fashionable places overseas!

galliver

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #137 on: April 10, 2017, 02:40:42 PM »
https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/5b79z4/nm_i_got_a_girl_pregnant_and_she_wanted_to_get_an/

Disclaimer: there is a part of me that's wondering if this is all a massive troll/social experiment (presenting an all-too-common situation with flipped genders to see what the public response ends up being). Nonetheless, I believer the situation has happened somewhere, at some point, whatever the sexes of party1/party2, and the basic facts make it fit into the topic category: a deal was made, but 18 months later party1 is unhappy with the deal and wants to coerce party2 into something party2 explicitly rejected when the deal was made.

Sibley

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #138 on: April 10, 2017, 08:17:50 PM »
https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/5b79z4/nm_i_got_a_girl_pregnant_and_she_wanted_to_get_an/

Disclaimer: there is a part of me that's wondering if this is all a massive troll/social experiment (presenting an all-too-common situation with flipped genders to see what the public response ends up being). Nonetheless, I believer the situation has happened somewhere, at some point, whatever the sexes of party1/party2, and the basic facts make it fit into the topic category: a deal was made, but 18 months later party1 is unhappy with the deal and wants to coerce party2 into something party2 explicitly rejected when the deal was made.

No idea if it's some experiment or not, but I really, really, really LOVE the fact that every single comment I read was telling him to grow up. Many were implying or outright calling him an abuser. LOVE IT!

shelivesthedream

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #139 on: April 11, 2017, 02:15:01 AM »
Ha, I thought of this forum when I read that. One small nit pick, I think the age was mentioned as a sort of "she's too young to have learned proper business etiquette, I should show her the Error Of Her Ways!"

I would agree, except for all the other bizarre complaints after that. She's 25, but nothing happens when I Google her name, what's wrong with her?! *clutches pearls*

This whole story was absolutely hysterical! I love reason about when people bring personal shit to work.

merula

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #140 on: April 11, 2017, 09:35:03 AM »
Did y'all see the Ask A Manager where the writer was all "I'm calling a female-identifying coworker pronouns she doesn't use. How can I go to HR about her hostility to nonbinary people?"

http://www.askamanager.org/2017/04/giving-coworkers-a-questionnaire-about-my-performance-gender-neutral-pronouns-and-more.html

https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/5b79z4/nm_i_got_a_girl_pregnant_and_she_wanted_to_get_an/

Disclaimer: there is a part of me that's wondering if this is all a massive troll/social experiment (presenting an all-too-common situation with flipped genders to see what the public response ends up being). Nonetheless, I believer the situation has happened somewhere, at some point, whatever the sexes of party1/party2, and the basic facts make it fit into the topic category: a deal was made, but 18 months later party1 is unhappy with the deal and wants to coerce party2 into something party2 explicitly rejected when the deal was made.

No idea if it's some experiment or not, but I really, really, really LOVE the fact that every single comment I read was telling him to grow up. Many were implying or outright calling him an abuser. LOVE IT!

I bet this is that gender-switch, and it's kinda sad that if it was a deadbeat dad, the general advice would be "He's the father, he needs to be involved". I think the advice here is good in either case, but it's sad for the child no matter what.

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #141 on: April 11, 2017, 11:05:38 AM »
I bet this is that gender-switch, and it's kinda sad that if it was a deadbeat dad, the general advice would be "He's the father, he needs to be involved". I think the advice here is good in either case, but it's sad for the child no matter what.

In the same circumstances I think the answers would be the same.  Short-term relationship, she is pregnant, he is encouraging an abortion and willing to pay, she wants to keep the baby.  He says "OK I will pay child support but not interested in being a father" and pays 125% of agreed child support.  Not a dead-beat dad.  Just not there.  Which the mother knew would happen. 
Seriously, women tend to have a better idea of what they are getting into, since so many men (not all, but enough) walk away from their families, from children they have been active fathers to, and don't even pay child support.  Those are the dead-beat dads.
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acepedro45

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #142 on: April 13, 2017, 07:49:31 AM »
Another good one...

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2017/04/dear_prudence_i_hate_my_wife_s_ideas_for_naming_our_daughter.html

My wife and I met to discuss baby names for our daughter-to-be. Although I came prepared with a bulleted PowerPoint presentation of Important and Serious Names from Art & Literature, my wife came with a brainstormed list scribbled on the back of a grocery list. Now I am seriously questioning our relationship. Can I stay married to a woman who thinks "Bethonie" is an appropriate name for a little girl? This trashy, misspelled name would lead our daughter down an inevitable path of eating disorders, drug use, sex work, hitchhiking, glue sniffing, shoplifting, teen pregnancy and other horrors.

calimom

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #143 on: April 13, 2017, 08:08:15 PM »
Another good one...

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2017/04/dear_prudence_i_hate_my_wife_s_ideas_for_naming_our_daughter.html

My wife and I met to discuss baby names for our daughter-to-be. Although I came prepared with a bulleted PowerPoint presentation of Important and Serious Names from Art & Literature, my wife came with a brainstormed list scribbled on the back of a grocery list. Now I am seriously questioning our relationship. Can I stay married to a woman who thinks "Bethonie" is an appropriate name for a little girl? This trashy, misspelled name would lead our daughter down an inevitable path of eating disorders, drug use, sex work, hitchhiking, glue sniffing, shoplifting, teen pregnancy and other horrors.

LOL!

I wish I was making this up, but last year my daughter was in a class at her school with 3 girls of the same name. My first reaction, upon hearing this when we were making birthday party invitations, was "How cool. These parents named their daughters after a hip groovy borough of New York.". Then I found out the spelling of each was, "Brooke Lynne", "Brooklinn", and "Brooklynne".

Sibley

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #144 on: April 14, 2017, 01:24:35 PM »
Another good one...

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2017/04/dear_prudence_i_hate_my_wife_s_ideas_for_naming_our_daughter.html

My wife and I met to discuss baby names for our daughter-to-be. Although I came prepared with a bulleted PowerPoint presentation of Important and Serious Names from Art & Literature, my wife came with a brainstormed list scribbled on the back of a grocery list. Now I am seriously questioning our relationship. Can I stay married to a woman who thinks "Bethonie" is an appropriate name for a little girl? This trashy, misspelled name would lead our daughter down an inevitable path of eating disorders, drug use, sex work, hitchhiking, glue sniffing, shoplifting, teen pregnancy and other horrors.

LOL!

I wish I was making this up, but last year my daughter was in a class at her school with 3 girls of the same name. My first reaction, upon hearing this when we were making birthday party invitations, was "How cool. These parents named their daughters after a hip groovy borough of New York.". Then I found out the spelling of each was, "Brooke Lynne", "Brooklinn", and "Brooklynne".

And if I knew those girls, I'd spend their entire lives spelling it "Brooklyn". Alternative spellings aren't cool, they're cruel to the people who are stuck with having their names spelled wrong for their entire lives.

Lis

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #145 on: April 17, 2017, 11:09:40 AM »
Another good one...

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2017/04/dear_prudence_i_hate_my_wife_s_ideas_for_naming_our_daughter.html

My wife and I met to discuss baby names for our daughter-to-be. Although I came prepared with a bulleted PowerPoint presentation of Important and Serious Names from Art & Literature, my wife came with a brainstormed list scribbled on the back of a grocery list. Now I am seriously questioning our relationship. Can I stay married to a woman who thinks "Bethonie" is an appropriate name for a little girl? This trashy, misspelled name would lead our daughter down an inevitable path of eating disorders, drug use, sex work, hitchhiking, glue sniffing, shoplifting, teen pregnancy and other horrors.

LOL!

I wish I was making this up, but last year my daughter was in a class at her school with 3 girls of the same name. My first reaction, upon hearing this when we were making birthday party invitations, was "How cool. These parents named their daughters after a hip groovy borough of New York.". Then I found out the spelling of each was, "Brooke Lynne", "Brooklinn", and "Brooklynne".

And if I knew those girls, I'd spend their entire lives spelling it "Brooklyn". Alternative spellings aren't cool, they're cruel to the people who are stuck with having their names spelled wrong for their entire lives.

As someone who's (real) name is spelled "wrong"... meh. It's not that big of a deal. Sure, I can never find my name on those personalized keychains (my mom once special ordered a custom pillow spelling out my name and I loved it), and I will forever roll my eyes at the one coworker who cannot or will not spell my name correctly, but in the grand scheme of problems in my life, this rates on "meh" on the scale. My grandmother spelled my mom's name "wrong," my mom spelled my name "wrong," and if I ever have my own daughter, I'm 99% sure I'll be spelling her name "wrong" too.

Off topic, but I was part of a long email chain with someone with a common name that has multiple common spellings (Catherine/Katherine, Megan/Meghan, something like that). She would consistently spell my name wrong, even though it pops up with my full and correct spelling. So I replied to one of her emails purposely spelling her name wrong (after sending several emails with the correct spelling of her name). She never got my name wrong again. Passive aggressive for the win :)

Now, if you're the type of the acquaintance to continuously spell someone's name wrong because you think the spelling is stupid, and is essentially punishing someone for their parents' "mistake" in your eyes... well, I don't think the person with the weirdly spelled name is the problem.
« Last Edit: April 17, 2017, 11:12:40 AM by Lis »

Sibley

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #146 on: April 17, 2017, 02:11:21 PM »
Another good one...

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2017/04/dear_prudence_i_hate_my_wife_s_ideas_for_naming_our_daughter.html

My wife and I met to discuss baby names for our daughter-to-be. Although I came prepared with a bulleted PowerPoint presentation of Important and Serious Names from Art & Literature, my wife came with a brainstormed list scribbled on the back of a grocery list. Now I am seriously questioning our relationship. Can I stay married to a woman who thinks "Bethonie" is an appropriate name for a little girl? This trashy, misspelled name would lead our daughter down an inevitable path of eating disorders, drug use, sex work, hitchhiking, glue sniffing, shoplifting, teen pregnancy and other horrors.

LOL!

I wish I was making this up, but last year my daughter was in a class at her school with 3 girls of the same name. My first reaction, upon hearing this when we were making birthday party invitations, was "How cool. These parents named their daughters after a hip groovy borough of New York.". Then I found out the spelling of each was, "Brooke Lynne", "Brooklinn", and "Brooklynne".

And if I knew those girls, I'd spend their entire lives spelling it "Brooklyn". Alternative spellings aren't cool, they're cruel to the people who are stuck with having their names spelled wrong for their entire lives.

As someone who's (real) name is spelled "wrong"... meh. It's not that big of a deal. Sure, I can never find my name on those personalized keychains (my mom once special ordered a custom pillow spelling out my name and I loved it), and I will forever roll my eyes at the one coworker who cannot or will not spell my name correctly, but in the grand scheme of problems in my life, this rates on "meh" on the scale. My grandmother spelled my mom's name "wrong," my mom spelled my name "wrong," and if I ever have my own daughter, I'm 99% sure I'll be spelling her name "wrong" too.

Off topic, but I was part of a long email chain with someone with a common name that has multiple common spellings (Catherine/Katherine, Megan/Meghan, something like that). She would consistently spell my name wrong, even though it pops up with my full and correct spelling. So I replied to one of her emails purposely spelling her name wrong (after sending several emails with the correct spelling of her name). She never got my name wrong again. Passive aggressive for the win :)

Now, if you're the type of the acquaintance to continuously spell someone's name wrong because you think the spelling is stupid, and is essentially punishing someone for their parents' "mistake" in your eyes... well, I don't think the person with the weirdly spelled name is the problem.

I simply can't spell. So when you have multiple spellings of the same name, I really can't remember what the spelling is, and will frequently get it wrong. It doesn't help that your attitude is in the minority - I can't tell you how often people have gotten mad at me because I spelled their name wrong.

Lis

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #147 on: April 17, 2017, 02:41:58 PM »
I simply can't spell. So when you have multiple spellings of the same name, I really can't remember what the spelling is, and will frequently get it wrong. It doesn't help that your attitude is in the minority - I can't tell you how often people have gotten mad at me because I spelled their name wrong.

Ahh gotcha. I thought you meant you were one of those people who's like 'I'm just gonna spell your name how ever I want because it's too inconvenient for me to remember how to properly spell it.' Like my one coworker. Ugh.

If my best friend of 15 years forgot how to spell my name I might be miffed. Even newer friends have a bit less of an excuse since most of my friends and I use Facebook Messenger to chat frequently (and my name is spelled correctly there). I used to be a crazed, Type-A, perfectionist about everything, and now I'm somewhere between Type-A and B. I've learned to pick my battles, and the spelling of my name just isn't one of them.

merula

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #148 on: April 17, 2017, 02:54:50 PM »
I also have a name that has multiple spelling variants. My name happens to be spelled the most common way, but I still get plenty of misspellings.

BUT, I have to say, unasked-for nicknames rate far higher for me on the annoyance scale than misspellings. If I tell you my name is Catherine and you spell it Kathryn, we can get over that. If you call me Cathy, Kate or Katie, you're deliberately ignoring what I told you I wanted to be called.

mustachepungoeshere

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #149 on: April 17, 2017, 05:18:14 PM »
Off topic, but I was part of a long email chain with someone with a common name that has multiple common spellings (Catherine/Katherine, Megan/Meghan, something like that). She would consistently spell my name wrong, even though it pops up with my full and correct spelling. So I replied to one of her emails purposely spelling her name wrong (after sending several emails with the correct spelling of her name). She never got my name wrong again. Passive aggressive for the win :)

I have the less common spelling of my name. Misspellings in email - when they typed it correctly for the email to get to me - bugs me.

So when I accidentally mess up someone's name (I deal with a Natali and Natalie in the same office), I always point it out myself and apologise, because I should know better.