I frequent an online young widows' bulletin board. For privacy's sake, I won't post the link, but here's the whine:
OP is a fiftyish widow with an advanced degree. Her DH was career military and died five or so years ago. She has a teenaged son and collects SS survivors' benefits, and a VA pension. About a year ago OP went online to a Christian dating site. and found New Guy. Even though both are deeply religious and sex outside of marriage is forbidden, they risked it and started sleeping together immediately. But New Guy has taught the OP how to live again. How to love again.
So now they decide their love warrants a Christian Marriage, as the OP refers to it. No more tempting fate and upsetting Jesus. OP wants to do it right and wear a white gown and have Mr. and Mrs. New Guy listed in the church directory. And here's the dilemma, OP has gone to the preacher to start wedding preparations, and makes the ever-so-slightly small demand that the preacher perform the Christian Ceremony, but not file the necessary paperwork with their jurisdiction. Bend the rules, as it were. Why is the OP requesting this deception? Because she does not wish to give up her sweet, sweet Gubmint Cheese. Some she'd keep, like the SS benefits for the minor child, but the widow may not claim widow status and be remarried. Shocking. The widow needs all the money she can get, she has bills and doesn't like working. New Guy is terrible with finances, major debt and an "evil greedy ex-wife". So OP doesn't wish to cast her lot with him in any way other than The Christian Marriage.
OP won't look at this any other way. She wants what she wants, which is basically to be married to two men at the same time. One dead and one living. The church does not agree. The VA, SS, and IRS do not agree. Everything, every institution is conspiring against OP and New Guy. No one understands! Their love is the real thing! There should be separation of church and state, she protests!