Author Topic: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It  (Read 22840 times)

With This Herring

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OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« on: August 07, 2016, 03:42:04 PM »
After some fun discussions on the Inheritance Drama thread, we could use a new thread!

These are stories where the Original Poster, telling things from his/her point of view about how the Antagonist(s) completely wronged OP, ends up convincing everyone reading that OP is actually the one in the wrong.

Please feel free to post examples from around the web or your own experience with friends/acquaintances telling stories, but be cautious if you decide to post examples from this forum.


From the Inheritance Drama thread:

This control-freak who looks to Ask A Manager to justify his boundary-crossing choices (First posted here.  Thanks, Frankies Girl!)

This dunce who blames security for touching him after he systematically robs three Target stores of thousands of dollars in DVDs and BluRays, but he should totally get away with it because he's only 21 and young people are supposed to make mistakes! (First posted here by me.)

And a recent follow up when dunce gets away from Marshalls after stealing cologne. (First posted here.  Thanks, lemanfan!)


And now I present to you...

Two Tales of a Wedding from Etiquette Hell and sister site Hell's Bells
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LeRainDrop

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #1 on: August 07, 2016, 08:02:32 PM »
This thread is so much fun!

Here's another epic one from Ask A Manager:  http://www.askamanager.org/2016/06/i-was-fired-from-my-internship-for-writing-a-proposal-for-a-more-flexible-dress-code.html  In a follow-up post, one reader asked whether AMA had heard back from the intern after their letter went viral and how they felt in light of the feedback.  AMA said that the OP stood by their original stance.
« Last Edit: August 07, 2016, 08:09:15 PM by LeRainDrop »

With This Herring

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #2 on: August 07, 2016, 10:10:18 PM »
Oh, wow, that is a gem!  The moment OP mentioned the one person who wasn't wearing required footwear, I thought "Oh boy, that person probably just had some sort of foot surgery..."  I feel bad for the kid, but at the same time to jump into "Hey, everybody, let's sign a petition!" was pretty poor judgment.

While I'm glad the one intern who didn't sign got to stay on, that had to have been pretty awkward for the survivor.  I'll bet (s)he got a glowing recommendation, though.
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Playing with Fire UK

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #3 on: August 08, 2016, 01:13:21 AM »
That wedding one is special. The fact that OP1 doesn't recognise the different between 'not my taste' and 'faux pas' does seem to speak to her MeMeMe psychology.

Fantastic idea for a thread!

mustachepungoeshere

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #4 on: August 08, 2016, 04:19:14 AM »
Great thread.

Posting to follow.

MonkeyJenga

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #5 on: August 08, 2016, 06:26:14 AM »
The wedding one is the best. THE BEST.

golden1

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #6 on: August 08, 2016, 06:54:59 AM »
If you like this sort of thing, you should frequent reddit's r/relationships.  It is my guilty pleasure.  Not all of the threads have that dynamic, but quite a few do. 

Here is a classic example:  https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/4ufb0r/update_my_18_parents_keep_insisting_that_im_gay/

meerkat

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #7 on: August 08, 2016, 07:33:10 AM »
The wedding one is the best. THE BEST.

Yes! If only the guest/girlfriend had left earlier, in spite of "those people" seeing her.
meer journal for a meerkat

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Basenji

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #8 on: August 08, 2016, 07:41:53 AM »
Freaking following because awesome. I wish I would get I invited to a goth wedding, sounds fun!

infogoon

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #9 on: August 08, 2016, 08:01:15 AM »
Following. I love these stories.

merula

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #10 on: August 08, 2016, 09:39:18 AM »
This thread is so much fun!

Here's another epic one from Ask A Manager:  http://www.askamanager.org/2016/06/i-was-fired-from-my-internship-for-writing-a-proposal-for-a-more-flexible-dress-code.html  In a follow-up post, one reader asked whether AMA had heard back from the intern after their letter went viral and how they felt in light of the feedback.  AMA said that the OP stood by their original stance.

THANK YOU. I was about to post that in the Inheritance Drama thread but thought it might have been too off-topic. (And then the whole thing went OT and we ended up here, which is perfect.)

I think the best part of the Special Shoe Lady part of the story is that it wasn't your average person-with-back/foot-problems. IT WAS A GODDAMN WOUNDED WAR VETERAN. And the writer was still all "I wish they had told us so we could have presented arguments against it."

PencilThinStash

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #11 on: August 08, 2016, 11:54:48 AM »
These are amazing. Posting to follow.

BlueHouse

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #12 on: August 08, 2016, 12:27:31 PM »
Here's one:

I had been staying with my aunt for one year while I was trying to figure out what to do with my life.  It wasn't the easiest start, but I eventually found a job that I liked and after that, things got a lot better.  The problem is that after 6 months of living there, my aunt decided to start charging me rent!  I took some time off from my job to visit friends for a few weeks, and she told me when I came back, I'd have to start paying $300/month.  It's not like I get a whole house to myself either -- I have one room with a queen size bed and a bathroom.  I also use the top floor of the house, which includes a big TV, couches, and an outdoor roof deck.  My aunt does go up there occasionally, so it's not like it's "my" space, even though she knocks first before coming up the stairs. 

I sort of feel like she's taking advantage of me because when I first got here, she made dinner for me every night and even put individual servings in microwavable dishes that we would both eat (she would take them to lunch if I hadn't already eaten them) and she doesn't do that very much anymore.  I've been paying for all of my own food for the past few months and packing my own lunches and making my own sandwiches for dinner.  About once a week she'll buy some bulk foods for me, but I don't really like to cook anything that takes more effort than opening a can or a bag, so while I eat the Clam Chowder soups, I don't have much interest in cooking rice and beans.   I also pay my own way for Metro to get to and from work.  It's not cheap!  and sometimes I go out drinking after work and I because Metro has already closed, I have to pay to take Uber to get home.  She just doesn't realize how much it costs to work!

So ever since she imposed this $300/month rent, I had to find a way to increase my hours, because the store originally only gave me about 20 hours of work each week.  So now I have to work 35-37 hours every week.  I don't mind though, because I get lots of great perks at work. 

She constantly (at least one time per week) tells me to wipe the counter down after I make toast.  And when I spilled my Starbucks all over her front door, I had to clean it two different times because she didn't think I wiped up all the coffee -- I honestly didn't notice that it got all over the walls and the door - (my bad!).  You can't really blame those ants on me. They probably would have come in whether I spilled the coffee or not. 

Anyway, I asked my aunt if she would let me out of paying the final month's rent because I was going back home, seeing some buddies, and I wanted to take them around and treat them to some cool things.  I can't believe it, but she said no!  What a cheapass - it's not like she needs the money, she's rich and has an awesome house all to herself.  She makes so much more money than I do, why wouldn't she just forgive the last month rent?  I asked why not, and she tried to deflect it by asking why I didn't just ask my dad for the cash once I move back home?  Clearly, that's not the same at all, but she didn't see it that way.  I mean seriously, I'm giving her my hard-earned cash and just asking for relief for just one month.  It's not like I want to waste the money either.  I want to treat my friends and pay for the things that we do together while they are visiting me in my parents' house. 

Signed, Bluehouse's nephew

Sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand

pachnik

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #13 on: August 08, 2016, 12:39:51 PM »
Dear Bluehouse,

I have no words other than thanks for posting.  Hopefully, hopefully, your nephew will learn one day.  The part about needing to increase hours from 20/week to 37 almost made my head fall off. 

Pachnik

bridget

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #14 on: August 08, 2016, 01:55:15 PM »
I love these. I also recommend the archives of That Bad Advice (http://thatbadadvice.tumblr.com/). She doesn't post much anymore, but she used to take advice column letters from around the web and answer them the way the shitty OP wishes she would have ("of course you are justified in doing this awful thing/having this terrible opinion! You are the special snowflake!").

With This Herring

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #15 on: August 08, 2016, 02:24:47 PM »
BlueHouse, I'm sorry your nephew is failing to learn a darn thing and grow up.  You are a more patient aunt than I would be.

I love these. I also recommend the archives of That Bad Advice (http://thatbadadvice.tumblr.com/). She doesn't post much anymore, but she used to take advice column letters from around the web and answer them the way the shitty OP wishes she would have ("of course you are justified in doing this awful thing/having this terrible opinion! You are the special snowflake!").

Oh my gosh, That Bad Advice is great, too!
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Apples

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #16 on: August 08, 2016, 02:30:25 PM »
Following.  I so wish I had something to link to share though.

BlueHouse

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #17 on: August 08, 2016, 02:37:17 PM »
BlueHouse, I'm sorry your nephew is failing to learn a darn thing and grow up.  You are a more patient aunt than I would be.

He did.  He learned quite a lot, but not quite everything I had hoped for.  He spent twenty years never having to earn anything and never working hard for anything.  In reality, he's kind, sweet, and gentle.  And also as self-centered as you would expect from having grown up in the circumstances he did.  He learned a great deal and grew tremendously in the time he spent with me (some just from maturity, but some from my tough-love attitude I hope). 

I couldn't unwind 20 years of coddling in 1 year and realized that he had to keep being pushed to take on more responsibility.  He was stagnating after 10 months with me, so I cut it off at 1 year.  He doesn't learn by hearing about things -- he'll have to experience living on his own or in a group house with others his age.  And then he will learn.  He will grow.  And I hope he will be successful (for his definition, not anyone else's). But most of all, I hope he looks back fondly at our time together.  It was a great experience for me and made me open my mind to a lot of generational things.  And LOTS of great stories too! 

Sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand

G-dog

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #18 on: August 08, 2016, 02:56:43 PM »
Following while snickering (but not at Bluehouse's nephew)

Sibley

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #19 on: August 08, 2016, 02:59:30 PM »
BlueHouse, I'm sorry your nephew is failing to learn a darn thing and grow up.  You are a more patient aunt than I would be.

He did.  He learned quite a lot, but not quite everything I had hoped for.  He spent twenty years never having to earn anything and never working hard for anything.  In reality, he's kind, sweet, and gentle.  And also as self-centered as you would expect from having grown up in the circumstances he did.  He learned a great deal and grew tremendously in the time he spent with me (some just from maturity, but some from my tough-love attitude I hope). 

I couldn't unwind 20 years of coddling in 1 year and realized that he had to keep being pushed to take on more responsibility.  He was stagnating after 10 months with me, so I cut it off at 1 year.  He doesn't learn by hearing about things -- he'll have to experience living on his own or in a group house with others his age.  And then he will learn.  He will grow.  And I hope he will be successful (for his definition, not anyone else's). But most of all, I hope he looks back fondly at our time together.  It was a great experience for me and made me open my mind to a lot of generational things.  And LOTS of great stories too!

Yeah, my roommate was coddled all her life. The first year we lived together, she grew immensely, but ever since has stayed status quo. We're into year 3 now. I'll be moving next year, so she'll be forced to enter the real world unless she wants to move back home, and she's got enough of a spine now that she really doesn't want to do that!

mustachepungoeshere

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #20 on: August 09, 2016, 01:59:19 AM »
BlueHouse's post reminded me of an Ask Bossy column from a few years ago.

Excused the archived version of the page.

http://blogs.news.com.au/bossy/index.php/news/comments/my_landlord_is_a_relative_shouldnt_they_let_me_rent_reall_cheap/

The poorly-punctuated and bordering-on-gibberish highlights:

Quote
Iím renting from a relative. Why wonít they help me more?

Iím a girl in her very early 20ís, Iím currently working a low paying full time job (soon to quit) to start study full time.

I live with my boyfriend whom also earns very little, in a rental house which is owned by a very important family member of mine.

Every week is a struggle for us after we have paid rent, fuel, bills we rarely have enough money to get ourself food for the week. My boyfriend constantly helps out and we always share our money...

This house is completely/very close to being paid off so basically any money that is being paid (other than real estate feeís etc) is profit for this family member (may I mention, Very Greedy and money hungry)...

1: The I donít have and the lack of feeling and emotions they have for me and my situation and their Greed.Not caring how I cannot live because of the money they take from me...

I realise this rental is extra money for this person...

How am I ever going to move on in life and own my own home, if I have to pay all this money to them! I believe this person should be helping me take those steps to having my own home!!!!...

Moving out is really not an option at this moment in time due to lease and my working/study conditions. I also have 3 cats whom I love dearly and cannot see anyone letting me live in their rental with them.

Ripped Off Renter.

Bossy nails it in her reply.

BlueHouse

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #21 on: August 09, 2016, 04:44:49 AM »
BlueHouse's post reminded me of an Ask Bossy column from a few years ago.

Excused the archived version of the page.

http://blogs.news.com.au/bossy/index.php/news/comments/my_landlord_is_a_relative_shouldnt_they_let_me_rent_reall_cheap/

The poorly-punctuated and bordering-on-gibberish highlights:

Quote
Iím renting from a relative. Why wonít they help me more?

Iím a girl in her very early 20ís, Iím currently working a low paying full time job (soon to quit) to start study full time.

I live with my boyfriend whom also earns very little, in a rental house which is owned by a very important family member of mine.

Every week is a struggle for us after we have paid rent, fuel, bills we rarely have enough money to get ourself food for the week. My boyfriend constantly helps out and we always share our money...

This house is completely/very close to being paid off so basically any money that is being paid (other than real estate feeís etc) is profit for this family member (may I mention, Very Greedy and money hungry)...

1: The I donít have and the lack of feeling and emotions they have for me and my situation and their Greed.Not caring how I cannot live because of the money they take from me...

I realise this rental is extra money for this person...

How am I ever going to move on in life and own my own home, if I have to pay all this money to them! I believe this person should be helping me take those steps to having my own home!!!!...

Moving out is really not an option at this moment in time due to lease and my working/study conditions. I also have 3 cats whom I love dearly and cannot see anyone letting me live in their rental with them.

Ripped Off Renter.

Bossy nails it in her reply.
OH yeah, great clip! 
Although very frustrating to deal with, I think many young people have that same mindset about other people's extra money. Unless you're raised understanding budgets and the need to save for the future, then it seems that would be the default thinking.
It is appalling when in the middle of it, but really, how else would they think if they never were taught?  I still feel horrible about getting a new hockey stick because I wanted to fit in wi he others rather than use one of the perfectly fine ones that the school loaned out each year. That was 35 years ago!  I knew we couldn't afford much, but for some reason, I thought that stupid stick was worth more than whatever else it was meant to cover. That would have been a great opportunity to learn more about budgets, but my mom just wanted to be able to say yes to something that I wanted and I didn't ask very often.

My nephew never seemed to understand what saving was for other than for the next pair of sunglasses or a new car until I explained that I expected to have to pay someone to wipe my ass when I'm 90, and I'm saving money now while I'm working so at I will have it later when I need it. I told him the alternative was that he could wipe my ass for free because he is family. I think he understands a little better but I always had to put that mental image in his mind whenever he started to feel entitled again.

Sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand

With This Herring

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #22 on: August 09, 2016, 07:23:33 AM »
*snip*

My nephew never seemed to understand what saving was for other than for the next pair of sunglasses or a new car until I explained that I expected to have to pay someone to wipe my ass when I'm 90, and I'm saving money now while I'm working so at I will have it later when I need it. I told him the alternative was that he could wipe my ass for free because he is family. I think he understands a little better but I always had to put that mental image in his mind whenever he started to feel entitled again.

That is a good explanation.  I've sometimes thought that the only way to get the moochers to stop complaining as much would be to talk to another landlord and trade mooching relatives.  "I'll rent to your nephew if you rent to my niece, and then neither of them will be able to complain that they should be able to pay us pennies because we're family."
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patchyfacialhair

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #23 on: August 09, 2016, 08:13:10 AM »
I don't have any specific stories, so commenting to follow.

radram

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #24 on: August 09, 2016, 08:55:13 AM »
Here's one:

I had been staying with my aunt for one year while I was trying to figure out what to do with my life.  It wasn't the easiest start, but I eventually found a job that I liked and after that, things got a lot better.  The problem is that after 6 months of living there, my aunt decided to start charging me rent!  I took some time off from my job to visit friends for a few weeks, and she told me when I came back, I'd have to start paying $300/month.  It's not like I get a whole house to myself either -- I have one room with a queen size bed and a bathroom.  I also use the top floor of the house, which includes a big TV, couches, and an outdoor roof deck.  My aunt does go up there occasionally, so it's not like it's "my" space, even though she knocks first before coming up the stairs. 

I sort of feel like she's taking advantage of me because when I first got here, she made dinner for me every night and even put individual servings in microwavable dishes that we would both eat (she would take them to lunch if I hadn't already eaten them) and she doesn't do that very much anymore.  I've been paying for all of my own food for the past few months and packing my own lunches and making my own sandwiches for dinner.  About once a week she'll buy some bulk foods for me, but I don't really like to cook anything that takes more effort than opening a can or a bag, so while I eat the Clam Chowder soups, I don't have much interest in cooking rice and beans.   I also pay my own way for Metro to get to and from work.  It's not cheap!  and sometimes I go out drinking after work and I because Metro has already closed, I have to pay to take Uber to get home.  She just doesn't realize how much it costs to work!

So ever since she imposed this $300/month rent, I had to find a way to increase my hours, because the store originally only gave me about 20 hours of work each week.  So now I have to work 35-37 hours every week.  I don't mind though, because I get lots of great perks at work. 

She constantly (at least one time per week) tells me to wipe the counter down after I make toast.  And when I spilled my Starbucks all over her front door, I had to clean it two different times because she didn't think I wiped up all the coffee -- I honestly didn't notice that it got all over the walls and the door - (my bad!).  You can't really blame those ants on me. They probably would have come in whether I spilled the coffee or not. 

Anyway, I asked my aunt if she would let me out of paying the final month's rent because I was going back home, seeing some buddies, and I wanted to take them around and treat them to some cool things.  I can't believe it, but she said no!  What a cheapass - it's not like she needs the money, she's rich and has an awesome house all to herself.  She makes so much more money than I do, why wouldn't she just forgive the last month rent?  I asked why not, and she tried to deflect it by asking why I didn't just ask my dad for the cash once I move back home?  Clearly, that's not the same at all, but she didn't see it that way.  I mean seriously, I'm giving her my hard-earned cash and just asking for relief for just one month.  It's not like I want to waste the money either.  I want to treat my friends and pay for the things that we do together while they are visiting me in my parents' house. 

Signed, Bluehouse's nephew

The nephew didn't actually write this, correct? 

Great(sad) story either way.


merula

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #25 on: August 09, 2016, 09:18:02 AM »
Got one from a slightly different context.

Original letter to Dan Savage, which I thought smelled fishy:
http://www.thestranger.com/slog/2016/07/27/24402514/savage-love-letter-of-the-day-non-disclosure-agreement

Follow-up today with the background details. And WOW.
http://www.thestranger.com/slog/2016/08/08/24442158/savage-love-letter-of-the-day-the-rest-of-the-story

Fair warning, these aren't going to be published in the Washington Post anytime soon. The advice columnist is Dan Savage, the guy who created Rick Santorum's google problem.

BlueHouse

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #26 on: August 09, 2016, 09:19:37 AM »

The nephew didn't actually write this, correct? 

Great(sad) story either way.

No, that's my interpretation of what he was thinking.  He did make most of those comments (usually to his father, who told me) at one point or another, but my point in penning that letter was to try to imagine the other person's perspective.  I mean, he really did think that I was "taking" the majority of his money and at one point when I dug deeper, I had to point out that he got paid TWICE per month and I only charge rent ONCE per month.  So in "taking" almost half, it was really less than a quarter of his pay. 

Now please take into account that my nephew has some real learning disabilities (particularly with math), so it was a challenge for me to find the right balance of teaching him something that he would retain without turning him off to the lesson he was learning.  But make no mistake, this is someone who can live independently and isn't mentally disabled.

I should also admit that only after I had had my nephew for a few months did I go back to my sister (not nephew's mother) and thank her profusely for the time I stayed with her when I was moving to the area.  I thought everything was going swimmingly well until I noticed that her husband was a little too enthusiastic about helping me look for apartments.   So 10 years after that was when I realized that even if I'm the perfect guest, I'm still in someone else's house and it's a burden no matter what.    :) 


Sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand

With This Herring

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #27 on: August 09, 2016, 10:58:24 AM »
Merula, that second letter was just so sad.  That poor woman.

BlueHouse, have you gotten nephew on YNAB?  It sounds like he would be the ideal candidate, as it would help him with picturing where his money needs to go and getting past that math issue.
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thd7t

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #28 on: August 09, 2016, 11:19:56 AM »
Following and laughing

wrangler05

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #29 on: August 09, 2016, 12:23:43 PM »
posting to follow

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #30 on: August 09, 2016, 12:33:08 PM »
That Ask a Manager link is quite a rabbit hole when you start clicking the related articles!
The first step is acknowledging you have a problem, right?

https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/journals/digging-out-of-a-hole/

electriceagle

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #31 on: August 09, 2016, 09:45:59 PM »

And now I present to you...

Two Tales of a Wedding from Etiquette Hell and sister site Hell's Bells

Honestly, this sounds like a good outcome. The two people who were dating found out that they weren't right for each other early, before becoming too deeply entangled. Everyone else has a story to tell.

Whats not to like?

Dicey

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #32 on: August 10, 2016, 10:24:06 AM »
Oh, I am so bummed that I have an appointment this morning! I'll be back later...
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Frankies Girl

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #33 on: August 10, 2016, 10:47:10 AM »
Oh man... I have so many great stories of a family member that is so dug into fantasy land, that she probably thinks she poops rainbows. And yet I can't really discuss it out on the interwebz because of unresolved stuff and it would really make things much harder on me if discovered.

Sigh. All that beautiful crazy rainbow poop just piled up there, waiting.

Maybe someday soon?

In any case, posting to follow. :)

I frequently have no idea what I'm talking about. Like now.

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With This Herring

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #34 on: August 10, 2016, 11:58:39 AM »

And now I present to you...

Two Tales of a Wedding from Etiquette Hell and sister site Hell's Bells

Honestly, this sounds like a good outcome. The two people who were dating found out that they weren't right for each other early, before becoming too deeply entangled. Everyone else has a story to tell.

Whats not to like?

It's not great that it had to happen during someone's wedding, but I agree that it's better they both found out early on!

Oh man... I have so many great stories of a family member that is so dug into fantasy land, that she probably thinks she poops rainbows. And yet I can't really discuss it out on the interwebz because of unresolved stuff and it would really make things much harder on me if discovered.

Sigh. All that beautiful crazy rainbow poop just piled up there, waiting.

Maybe someday soon?

In any case, posting to follow. :)

Well, we can always wait and hope!
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Nederstash

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #35 on: August 10, 2016, 02:35:14 PM »
Oh man... I have so many great stories of a family member that is so dug into fantasy land, that she probably thinks she poops rainbows. And yet I can't really discuss it out on the interwebz because of unresolved stuff and it would really make things much harder on me if discovered.

Sigh. All that beautiful crazy rainbow poop just piled up there, waiting.

Maybe someday soon?

In any case, posting to follow. :)

I eagerly await your multicolored feces.

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BlueHouse

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #38 on: August 10, 2016, 06:35:50 PM »

BlueHouse, have you gotten nephew on YNAB?  It sounds like he would be the ideal candidate, as it would help him with picturing where his money needs to go and getting past that math issue.
No. He just wasn't receptive to learning in his last few months here, and I didn't want his last month's to be something he remembered as awful. So now I understand a little Better why parents have a hard time saying no.
Sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand

trailrated

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #39 on: August 11, 2016, 09:59:07 AM »
This is the greatest thread ever!! I have to admit I had a post on MMM quite a while ago around when I first started about saying some smart ass thing to a co-worker. The Mustachians jumped on me for acting like a douche and I realized I was being the problem. I am too lazy to look back to find it now, but being called out has its benefits from time to time. :)
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MissNancyPryor

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #40 on: August 11, 2016, 03:45:01 PM »
Totally following this!

G-dog

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #41 on: August 11, 2016, 04:15:57 PM »
Here's one from Dear Prudence today. There are multiple letters in the column - so I've excerpted the clueless OP:
Dear Prudence,
A year-and-a-half ago, my only living son killed himself. His estranged wife had called me to say he was threatening to hurt himself and that I should check on him. I found the body. My only source of light since then is my little grandson. My relationship with his mother is difficult at best: She was the one who wanted the divorce and didnít want to try and save my son. Now she is getting married again. This stranger will be the one who raises my grandson, gets called Daddy, and might even adopt him. There is nothing I can do legally, and I choke back my words every time I see her when she picks up my grandson from me. Can you think of anything to say that will convince her to stop this?

óLost Son and Now Grandson

Iím so sorry for everyone involved in this situation, and Iím so sorry that you lost your son. I cannot imagine that kind of pain, and I hope you are in grief counseling to deal with the infinitely complicated and painful fallout from the death of your child. I also hope that you can work out these fears in counseling, because you should not try to stop your former daughter-in-law from remarrying, and she does not deserve to be made to feel guilty for moving on. You say she didnít ďtry and save my son,Ē but you cannot put the burden of his death on her. His suicide cannot be, could never be, her responsibility. The fact that your grandson may grow up with a father who loves him is not a tragedy, but a good thing, and this man is not ďa strangerĒóhe is a stranger to you, but not to the mother of your grandson, and not to her little boy. Please try to find a way to express your pain and sense of loss that does not come at the expense of the woman raising your grandson. Focus on the time you do spend with him, and not on his mother when she comes to pick him up. Read to him, tell him you love him, play with him, take him to the parkólet him look forward to the time you spend together, and donít tarnish it for him by focusing on your resentment of his mother. You will all be better for it, and it will vastly improve your relationship with your grandson and his parents for the rest of your lives.

Astatine

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #42 on: August 11, 2016, 09:49:49 PM »
Posting to follow.

madgeylou

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #43 on: August 11, 2016, 10:23:11 PM »
This one's a real head-scratcher, too. How can the manager not see what an asshole they are being?

http://www.askamanager.org/2016/07/my-best-employee-quit-on-the-spot-because-i-wouldnt-let-her-go-to-her-college-graduation.html
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MissNancyPryor

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #44 on: August 12, 2016, 09:29:44 AM »
I am cheering for the graduate, classic epic FU.  Here is hoping she builds the stache to go with the FU and has a very bright future.  That manager is a total dick and freaking clueless. 

Of course they want to double down and contact the employee to explain why they were right to deny the time off and why the graduate was wrong because, well, dick. 

How do people like that get to be in charge of anything?  That could be a whole other thread.   

galliver

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #45 on: August 12, 2016, 10:03:11 AM »
This one's a real head-scratcher, too. How can the manager not see what an asshole they are being?

http://www.askamanager.org/2016/07/my-best-employee-quit-on-the-spot-because-i-wouldnt-let-her-go-to-her-college-graduation.html
Read this on out loud to the bf, we are both shaking our heads with "wtf...?"

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infogoon

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #46 on: August 12, 2016, 11:39:24 AM »
Either half of the stuff submitted to "ask a manager" is fabricated trolling, or my already low opinion of humanity will need to be adjusted even farther downward.

Meowmalade

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #47 on: August 12, 2016, 11:48:34 AM »
Following  :)
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LeRainDrop

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #48 on: August 12, 2016, 12:07:33 PM »
Either half of the stuff submitted to "ask a manager" is fabricated trolling, or my already low opinion of humanity will need to be adjusted even farther downward.

Nah, the vast majority of stuff to Ask A Manager is about totally relatable workplace scenarios.  I love reading it mostly because Alison Green gives such excellent advice on the topics and the comments are usually really good, too.

With This Herring

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Re: OP Is the Only One Who Doesn't See It
« Reply #49 on: August 12, 2016, 01:43:20 PM »
"But, ya know, the other person paid money for concert tickets." (Paraphrased heavily.)

And college is free?  Even if she had scholarships covering the entire amount, she still put thousands of hours of work toward that degree WHILE being your best employee for SIX YEARS and covering for everyone else.  Wow.  She didn't even ask for the entire day!  Just two hours!  I didn't want to attend college graduation, but I can certainly see why someone else would!

Also, I want to know what tech support center has such employee longevity that six years had her at the bottom of the seniority list.  I thought those places tended to have a higher turnover.
Because your toaster got hacked because you tried to watch porn on your blender.

6-year CPA currently on hiatus.  Botched this.  Working again. 
Go soak your beans.  You know you keep forgetting.