Author Topic: Mom wants to visit a tourist site that I find abhorrent. Do I go?  (Read 18006 times)

Cassie

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Re: Mom wants to visit a tourist site that I find abhorrent. Do I go?
« Reply #100 on: December 20, 2019, 10:05:33 AM »
I love your donating idea and am glad you came to a decision you can live with.

Freedom2016

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Re: Mom wants to visit a tourist site that I find abhorrent. Do I go?
« Reply #101 on: March 02, 2020, 09:45:44 AM »
OP here. So the weekend in question just wrapped up. I did indeed go on the trip, and I am glad I did.

The discomfort of being at the "Ark Encounter" lasted about 4 hours (the amount of time we spent there). If I held it in my mind as a Disney-like exhibit it was bearable. Interesting, even, as a fictitious imagining. Mom was super happy and didn't actively try to proselytize us - or at least no more than usual. My sisters and I exchanged looks periodically at some of the creative license that was taken in the exhibit.

Both mom and dad used wheelchairs at the ark encounter, a first for both of them. They don't use chairs normally but there was a lot of walking involved and they would not have had the stamina to be on their feet the whole time. That was sobering.

The best part of the weekend was being together with my sisters and my parents - something we haven't done in decades. We went out to a nice dinner at a Capital Grille one night, to celebrate mom's birthday. We spent the other evening playing cards and doing an old "night of beauty" ritual which we co-opted our dad into joining. Lots of laughing and joking, which is the comfort zone in our family.

So the trip was a net positive, and a stark reminder to me of my parents' declining health and how few opportunities like this I'll have with them.

I am now researching orgs to donate 3x to. :)

EvenSteven

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Re: Mom wants to visit a tourist site that I find abhorrent. Do I go?
« Reply #102 on: March 02, 2020, 09:54:39 AM »
OP here. So the weekend in question just wrapped up. I did indeed go on the trip, and I am glad I did.

The discomfort of being at the "Ark Encounter" lasted about 4 hours (the amount of time we spent there). If I held it in my mind as a Disney-like exhibit it was bearable. Interesting, even, as a fictitious imagining. Mom was super happy and didn't actively try to proselytize us - or at least no more than usual. My sisters and I exchanged looks periodically at some of the creative license that was taken in the exhibit.

Both mom and dad used wheelchairs at the ark encounter, a first for both of them. They don't use chairs normally but there was a lot of walking involved and they would not have had the stamina to be on their feet the whole time. That was sobering.

The best part of the weekend was being together with my sisters and my parents - something we haven't done in decades. We went out to a nice dinner at a Capital Grille one night, to celebrate mom's birthday. We spent the other evening playing cards and doing an old "night of beauty" ritual which we co-opted our dad into joining. Lots of laughing and joking, which is the comfort zone in our family.

So the trip was a net positive, and a stark reminder to me of my parents' declining health and how few opportunities like this I'll have with them.

I am now researching orgs to donate 3x to. :)

Glad to hear it was a positive experience for you!

PMG

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Re: Mom wants to visit a tourist site that I find abhorrent. Do I go?
« Reply #103 on: March 02, 2020, 09:55:03 AM »
Glad you were able to find your way through it and enjoy family time.

Dicey

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Re: Mom wants to visit a tourist site that I find abhorrent. Do I go?
« Reply #104 on: March 02, 2020, 10:52:52 AM »
Great update!  I don't know if it's been mentioned, but since this thread began, I found and devoured a book called "Educated" by Tara Westover. I can't recommend it highly enough.

ysette9

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Re: Mom wants to visit a tourist site that I find abhorrent. Do I go?
« Reply #105 on: March 02, 2020, 12:24:28 PM »
Thank you for the update. I am glad you were able to find positive in your weekend.

OtherJen

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Re: Mom wants to visit a tourist site that I find abhorrent. Do I go?
« Reply #106 on: March 02, 2020, 12:47:03 PM »
It sounds like all of you prioritized quality family time over anything else. That's really lovely. I'm glad it worked out.

Metalcat

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Re: Mom wants to visit a tourist site that I find abhorrent. Do I go?
« Reply #107 on: March 02, 2020, 01:00:33 PM »
I'm so happy you were able to do what you thought was best. It can be really hard to do that. Well done.

Roadrunner53

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Re: Mom wants to visit a tourist site that I find abhorrent. Do I go?
« Reply #108 on: March 02, 2020, 01:30:14 PM »
This is the outcome I had hoped would happen. You will remember this trip for the rest of your life.

I hope you can spend more time with your parents, life is short.

Cassie

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Re: Mom wants to visit a tourist site that I find abhorrent. Do I go?
« Reply #109 on: March 02, 2020, 01:50:03 PM »
I am so glad you went! You never regret what you did for your parents only what you didn’t.

SunnyDays

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Re: Mom wants to visit a tourist site that I find abhorrent. Do I go?
« Reply #110 on: March 02, 2020, 03:54:41 PM »
Happy to hear it went well.  Sometimes we just can’t take things too seriously.  Not every hill is the one we want to die on.

Freedom2016

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Re: Mom wants to visit a tourist site that I find abhorrent. Do I go?
« Reply #111 on: March 03, 2020, 08:54:53 AM »
Thanks for the replies. :)

I decided that one of the best counters to the anti-intellectual, fundamentalist clap-trap that the Kentucky-based Ark embodies is to reduce fundamentalists' influence on our national politics and politicians. So I donated 3x to Kentucky Senator McConnell's Democratic opponent Amy McGrath.

PMG

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Re: Mom wants to visit a tourist site that I find abhorrent. Do I go?
« Reply #112 on: March 03, 2020, 09:05:50 AM »
Yes!! Good choice!

Freedom2016

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Re: Mom wants to visit a tourist site that I find abhorrent. Do I go?
« Reply #113 on: April 11, 2020, 04:19:57 PM »
My mom - with asthma and Parkinson's disease - is in the ER with trouble breathing, fever, and cough.

I don't know much more at this point but I am 100% certain she would not want to be put on a ventilator if it comes to that.

SunnyDays

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Re: Mom wants to visit a tourist site that I find abhorrent. Do I go?
« Reply #114 on: April 11, 2020, 04:50:29 PM »
Sorry to hear that.  I hope she recovers.  But if not, you will be happy you bit the bullet and went to that museum.  I’m sure it meant a lot to her.  Best wishes.

ysette9

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Re: Mom wants to visit a tourist site that I find abhorrent. Do I go?
« Reply #115 on: April 11, 2020, 05:04:18 PM »
My mom - with asthma and Parkinson's disease - is in the ER with trouble breathing, fever, and cough.

I don't know much more at this point but I am 100% certain she would not want to be put on a ventilator if it comes to that.
I’m so sorry to hear that. Thinking of you and your mother.

Dicey

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Re: Mom wants to visit a tourist site that I find abhorrent. Do I go?
« Reply #116 on: April 11, 2020, 06:27:58 PM »
My mom - with asthma and Parkinson's disease - is in the ER with trouble breathing, fever, and cough.

I don't know much more at this point but I am 100% certain she would not want to be put on a ventilator if it comes to that.
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. This is going to sound terrible, but I'm kind of relieved my parents have passed on. My mom had COPD and my dad was medically fragile. The stress of this would be unfathomable. Best wishes to you and to your mom.

Sibley

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Re: Mom wants to visit a tourist site that I find abhorrent. Do I go?
« Reply #117 on: April 11, 2020, 06:31:27 PM »
I'm sorry. Take care of yourself. If that means you spend 16 hours watching fuzzy kittens and puppies on youtube, then do so.

Freedom2016

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Re: Mom wants to visit a tourist site that I find abhorrent. Do I go?
« Reply #118 on: April 12, 2020, 08:45:48 AM »
Thanks, all. She was sent home last night - her Xray was normal and pulse ox was good - 97. The whole family got to Zoom last night and she seemed OK. Covid test results should be back in a couple of days.

I am wiped out emotionally, and we might be just at the start of a roller coaster...

Poundwise

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Re: Mom wants to visit a tourist site that I find abhorrent. Do I go?
« Reply #119 on: April 13, 2020, 07:15:17 AM »
That is wonderful news!!  Best wishes for a full recovery for her soon.