Mature Quality Singles in My Area

[Chris Pascale]

Sometimes I really take for granted that there are "mature quality singles" who "want to meet up" and they are "just a few miles away."

Just a thought.

[ATtiny85]

I strive to become one at some point in the future. At this point I only lack maturity and quality. Oh, and I don't want to meet up.

[jinga nation]

I'm sure they'll be some type of spending required, some of which might be anti-mustachian.

Also, I doubt my maturity. Also, quality is subjective.

Obligatory PSA: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pInk1rV2VEg

[Chris Pascale]

I strive to become one at some point in the future. At this point I only lack maturity and quality. Oh, and I don't want to meet up.

But, you're in an area! That's not bad.

[Chris Pascale]

I'm sure they'll be some type of spending required, some of which might be anti-mustachian.

Also, I doubt my maturity. Also, quality is subjective.

Obligatory PSA: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pInk1rV2VEg

Nice!

I like that he's presenting this as his life's work while also carrying a firearm, then he talks about the "Fun Zone," which was particularly funny because he might only get into that part of the chart himself based on being funny and successful, but then he gives us the version women can use for men, and he's locked into the no-go zone for sure.

Reminds me of this Whitney Cummings bit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yOgWRpTiKzE

[fuzzy math]

Use this trick to fully empty your bowels every morning

Use this trick to melt belly fat

Customers in (your city) are saving 55% on their insurance using this one trick

[partgypsy]

I strive to become one at some point in the future. At this point I only lack maturity and quality. Oh, and I don't want to meet up.

But, you're in an area! That's not bad.

one out of 4 ain't bad

[Dicey]

Sometimes I think I got the last one. Took me long enough to find him.

[sonofsven]

Hmm, what have you been looking at on the Internet 🤔

[Chris Pascale]

Hmm, what have you been looking at on the Internet 🤔

Yahoo! email.

It doesn't help that when they first started posting them I was telling a friend over email about how excited I was about [insert ad copy].

[sonofsven]

Hmm, what have you been looking at on the Internet 🤔

Yahoo! email.

It doesn't help that when they first started posting them I was telling a friend over email about how excited I was about [insert ad copy].

That's all it takes.

[curious_george]

Well - it could be worse.

They could still be trying to contact you about your car's extended warranty.

[jinga nation]

Well - it could be worse.

They could still be trying to contact you about your car's extended warranty.

And/or your car's Sirius XM subscription.

[dang1]

I'm sure they'll be some type of spending required, some of which might be anti-mustachian.

Also, I doubt my maturity. Also, quality is subjective.

Obligatory PSA: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pInk1rV2VEg

"this is not a static environment" lol, the only constant is change

[MrGreen]

Use this trick to fully empty your bowels every morning

What in the fuck...is THIS?

Is there a significant percentage of the population that believes their shit won't come out? I'm...I don't know what I am. Dumbfounded?

[Metalcat]

Use this trick to fully empty your bowels every morning

What in the fuck...is THIS?

Is there a significant percentage of the population that believes their shit won't come out? I'm...I don't know what I am. Dumbfounded?

Yes. With the standard American diet (SAD), pooping challenges are a major issue.

Even IFLS had an article explaining that if women feel they need to "splint" too often when they poop that something might be off.

https://www.iflscience.com/if-you-need-to-splint-when-you-poop-it-may-be-a-sign-something-is-wrong-58796

[MrGreen]

Use this trick to fully empty your bowels every morning

What in the fuck...is THIS?

Is there a significant percentage of the population that believes their shit won't come out? I'm...I don't know what I am. Dumbfounded?

Yes. With the standard American diet (SAD), pooping challenges are a major issue.

Even IFLS had an article explaining that if women feel they need to "splint" too often when they poop that something might be off.

https://www.iflscience.com/if-you-need-to-splint-when-you-poop-it-may-be-a-sign-something-is-wrong-58796

Aaaaaannd I can't ever unlearn that. That's horrifying.

[Metalcat]

Use this trick to fully empty your bowels every morning

What in the fuck...is THIS?

Is there a significant percentage of the population that believes their shit won't come out? I'm...I don't know what I am. Dumbfounded?

Yes. With the standard American diet (SAD), pooping challenges are a major issue.

Even IFLS had an article explaining that if women feel they need to "splint" too often when they poop that something might be off.

https://www.iflscience.com/if-you-need-to-splint-when-you-poop-it-may-be-a-sign-something-is-wrong-58796

Aaaaaannd I can't ever unlearn that. That's horrifying.

hey man, don't ask about pooping issues if you don't want to learn gross things about pooping issues, lol

[RetiredAt63]

Use this trick to fully empty your bowels every morning

What in the fuck...is THIS?

Is there a significant percentage of the population that believes their shit won't come out? I'm...I don't know what I am. Dumbfounded?

Yes. With the standard American diet (SAD), pooping challenges are a major issue.

Even IFLS had an article explaining that if women feel they need to "splint" too often when they poop that something might be off.

https://www.iflscience.com/if-you-need-to-splint-when-you-poop-it-may-be-a-sign-something-is-wrong-58796

Aaaaaannd I can't ever unlearn that. That's horrifying.

hey man, don't ask about pooping issues if you don't want to learn gross things about pooping issues, lol

That was  . .  interesting . . .


And severe constipation can be extremely dangerous to one's health, and it does happen, usually because of other health issues.

[Chris Pascale]

Use this trick to fully empty your bowels every morning

What in the fuck...is THIS?

Is there a significant percentage of the population that believes their shit won't come out? I'm...I don't know what I am. Dumbfounded?

Yes. With the standard American diet (SAD), pooping challenges are a major issue.

Even IFLS had an article explaining that if women feel they need to "splint" too often when they poop that something might be off.

https://www.iflscience.com/if-you-need-to-splint-when-you-poop-it-may-be-a-sign-something-is-wrong-58796

Aaaaaannd I can't ever unlearn that. That's horrifying.

hey man, don't ask about pooping issues if you don't want to learn gross things about pooping issues, lol

That was  . .  interesting . . .


And severe constipation can be extremely dangerous to one's health, and it does happen, usually because of other health issues.

May I recommend adding hemp hearts to your diet? I mix them with yogurt.

[RetiredAt63]

Use this trick to fully empty your bowels every morning

What in the fuck...is THIS?

Is there a significant percentage of the population that believes their shit won't come out? I'm...I don't know what I am. Dumbfounded?

Yes. With the standard American diet (SAD), pooping challenges are a major issue.

Even IFLS had an article explaining that if women feel they need to "splint" too often when they poop that something might be off.

https://www.iflscience.com/if-you-need-to-splint-when-you-poop-it-may-be-a-sign-something-is-wrong-58796

Aaaaaannd I can't ever unlearn that. That's horrifying.

hey man, don't ask about pooping issues if you don't want to learn gross things about pooping issues, lol

That was  . .  interesting . . .


And severe constipation can be extremely dangerous to one's health, and it does happen, usually because of other health issues.

May I recommend adding hemp hearts to your diet? I mix them with yogurt.

I wasn't actually talking about me.   That was a general observation - people don't take severe constipation seriously enough.

[ChpBstrd]

Use this trick to fully empty your bowels every morning

What in the fuck...is THIS?

Is there a significant percentage of the population that believes their shit won't come out? I'm...I don't know what I am. Dumbfounded?

Yes. With the standard American diet (SAD), pooping challenges are a major issue.

Even IFLS had an article explaining that if women feel they need to "splint" too often when they poop that something might be off.

https://www.iflscience.com/if-you-need-to-splint-when-you-poop-it-may-be-a-sign-something-is-wrong-58796

Aaaaaannd I can't ever unlearn that. That's horrifying.

I suspect it's not as common as the article suggests, but I'd be taking a hard look at the fiber in my diet long before reaching this point of desperation on a regular basis. Sounds like a good way to poop on one's hand <-- and that's the hook that makes a TikTok video go viral.

Another thought: Maybe this is another reason why women live longer than men? While men are popping aneurysms and going without oxygen straining themselves, women can just push the emergency evacuate button. Think about Elvis.

[dividendman]

Suddenly the oats (mixed with peanut butter and chocolate protein powder) I'm eating seems significantly less appealing...

[ChpBstrd]

Suddenly the oats (mixed with peanut butter and chocolate protein powder) I'm eating seems significantly less appealing...

Fiber.

[fuzzy math]

Use this trick to fully empty your bowels every morning

What in the fuck...is THIS?

Is there a significant percentage of the population that believes their shit won't come out? I'm...I don't know what I am. Dumbfounded?

Yes. With the standard American diet (SAD), pooping challenges are a major issue.

Even IFLS had an article explaining that if women feel they need to "splint" too often when they poop that something might be off.

https://www.iflscience.com/if-you-need-to-splint-when-you-poop-it-may-be-a-sign-something-is-wrong-58796

Apparently that was the trick! Glad I never clicked through haha