Latchkey Kids of the 1980's

[tele25]

You're making a lot of (incorrect) assumptions.

I'm not fantastic with younger kids for long periods.  Were I to stay home from work to look after my son he would get less quality time and attention than he currently does from me because I'd be constantly exhausted.  I know this because I have taken some time off work to care for my son.  Our son loves to go to the daycare he's in.  He has friends there, and knows and likes the ECEs.  There are more activities to do than I would plan out for him at home.  (We currently live in a smaller house with threadbare sofa and carpets and only one older car though.)

It's quite presumptuous to decree that you know what's best for a child and parents you've never met.

Its perfectly alright to admit that you dont want to be bothered by young kids.In which case you either suck it up and put the needs of the child above your own or arrange with your spouse that they look after the child and you work.

Please feel free to review the post you quoted.  You appear to have misread it.

Can I ask, how many kids do you have?  At what age did you quit your job to look after them?

I didn't misread your post, you admitted you arn't good with younger kids.

I have four children and was independently wealthy before they appeared so didn't have a job to quit.

Look, I get that its not easy to look after young children. I fully understand its unstimulating and quite often very repetative  and boring.

But if you bring them into the world you should do your very best for them.

If you are not going to commit to being the best parent possible why have kids in the first place.

And theres one thing you definately should not do, and that is to pretend that daycare is equally valid when the reason you choose daycare is because you prefer work rather than being at home.

[messymoneymay]

And theres one thing you definately should not do, and that is to pretend that daycare is equally valid when the reason you choose daycare is because you prefer work rather than being at home.

It doesn't matter the reason a parent chooses to send their child to daycare (and some would argue there are situations where daycare is not a choice but a need but I digress) - whatever the reason, daycare is a valid choice and the choice of the parent based on the needs of their children and their own family situation.  Lots of interest and study into the impacts of quality daycare vs. home care and the results are mixed.  I don't think anyone can conclude that one is better than the other except for how it applies to their own personal situation based on what we know so far.

[tele25]

And theres one thing you definately should not do, and that is to pretend that daycare is equally valid when the reason you choose daycare is because you prefer work rather than being at home.

It doesn't matter the reason a parent chooses to send their child to daycare (and some would argue there are situations where daycare is not a choice but a need but I digress) - whatever the reason, daycare is a valid choice and the choice of the parent based on the needs of their children and their own family situation.  Lots of interest and study into the impacts of quality daycare vs. home care and the results are mixed.  I don't think anyone can conclude that one is better than the other except for how it applies to their own personal situation based on what we know so far.

The reason does matter if the parent is not being honest about it.

ie I would be bored senseless as a stay at home parent and will therefore say that I beleive daycare is better for my child instead of the real reason which is that I prefer to be in my cubicle at work.
 

[MsPeacock]

Oh for gosh sakes - please stop feeding the troll!

[swick]

Mode Note: Agree to disagree on this one folks, or I will be locking the thread. There is no right answer for everyone and to insist that your way is the only way for everyone does not lead to positive discourse and the ability to share and learn from each other.

[Megma]

I was also home alone with my older siblings a lot as a kid, I was also pretty young (80s kid!) Maybe 8? My siblings are older though. And my brother chased off multiple babysitters. I think I turned out ok and that i have an excellent mom. I don't recall us even being told that this was something we shouldn't tell people? It was a small town, very safe.

I find it really interesting how much our culture has changed in this regard. I was surprised when my boss said his son couldn't stay home alone yet. I was like what? He's 12! I know they don't leave him home alone as occasionally he has brought him to work when their was no other choice.

[justajane]

I find it really interesting how much our culture has changed in this regard. I was surprised when my boss said his son couldn't stay home alone yet. I was like what? He's 12! I know they don't leave him home alone as occasionally he has brought him to work when their was no other choice.

I think one difference would be access to the internet. I'm not sure enough parental controls exist to give a non-teen hours of unsupervised access to the internet safely. 

There's also the possibility that many families don't live in walkable distance to their homes, or our bar for what is "too far" has changed. We have a very close elementary school, but many of the districts around here have built larger schools farther from the neighborhoods in which the children live. There's also the issue of number of children. It might be safer to allow one child to stay at home by him or herself than to allow siblings to be together for hours on end. I know my boys would probably come to blow or get up to more mischief than if they were alone.

And finally there's perception and peer pressure. If everyone else in your district is putting their 10 year old in after school care, you will likely do the same.   

[Megma]

I find it really interesting how much our culture has changed in this regard. I was surprised when my boss said his son couldn't stay home alone yet. I was like what? He's 12! I know they don't leave him home alone as occasionally he has brought him to work when their was no other choice.

I think one difference would be access to the internet. I'm not sure enough parental controls exist to give a non-teen hours of unsupervised access to the internet safely. 

There's also the possibility that many families don't live in walkable distance to their homes, or our bar for what is "too far" has changed. We have a very close elementary school, but many of the districts around here have built larger schools farther from the neighborhoods in which the children live. There's also the issue of number of children. It might be safer to allow one child to stay at home by him or herself than to allow siblings to be together for hours on end. I know my boys would probably come to blow or get up to more mischief than if they were alone.

And finally there's perception and peer pressure. If everyone else in your district is putting their 10 year old in after school care, you will likely do the same.

I think I was mostly home alone during summers and breaks because I did not live walking distance from school. School was like a ten minute drive and my siblings were at different schools than me.

You have a very solid point about the Internet, however, while we got in plenty of trouble there wasn't as much risk of child predators. I do recall an incident where my mom came home and my sister was on the roof...