Author Topic: Humor  (Read 5709 times)

TeddyG

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Humor
« on: July 12, 2013, 09:36:46 AM »
Woman:
Do you drink beer?


 

Man:
Yes

 

Woman:
How many beers a day?

 

Man:
Usually about 3

 

Woman:
How much do you pay per beer?

 

Man: $5.00 which includes a tip

 

Woman:
And how long have you been drinking?

 

Man:
About 20 years, I suppose

 

Woman:
So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, it would be approximately $5400 …correct?

 

Man:
Correct

 

Woman:
If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past
20 years puts your spending at $108,000, correct?

 

Man:
Correct

 

Woman:
Do you know that if you didn't drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting

for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?

 

Man:
Do you drink beer?

 

Woman:
No

 

Man:
Where's your Ferrari?

Kriegsspiel

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Re: Humor
« Reply #1 on: July 12, 2013, 05:08:39 PM »
LOL.

There are really so many choices here...

"Where's your Ferrari?"
"Well, what do you have for breakfast then?!"
"Get out of my sight, woman."

ender

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Re: Humor
« Reply #2 on: July 13, 2013, 09:06:40 AM »
This was funny.

Zaga

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Re: Humor
« Reply #3 on: July 13, 2013, 09:53:06 AM »
Sadly my only response to this is that women aren't paid as well as men, so by her spending less she is just keeping up.

grantmeaname

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Re: Humor
« Reply #4 on: July 13, 2013, 03:45:24 PM »
[citation needed]

DocCyane

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Re: Humor
« Reply #5 on: July 13, 2013, 03:51:05 PM »
She spent her money on shoes.

Kriegsspiel

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Re: Humor
« Reply #6 on: July 13, 2013, 06:35:13 PM »
Sometimes that means money well spent, IMO. I think women sorely underestimate the number of occasions that call for clear stripper heels.

brewer12345

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Re: Humor
« Reply #7 on: July 23, 2013, 08:59:36 PM »
Somewhere in Iraq


A Marine squad was marching north of somewhere when they came upon an
insurgent soldier badly injured and unconscious.

Nearby, on the opposite side of the road, was an American Marine in a similar but less serious state.

The Marine was conscious and alert.

First aid was given to both men and the Marine was asked what had
happened.

The Marine reported, "I was moving north along the highway and
coming south was the insurgent. Seeing each other we both took cover."

"What happened then?"

"We tried to draw each other out of cover. I yelled at him that
Saddam Hussein was a miserable low-life scum bag, and he yelled back
that George Bush was a spoiled-rotten, good-for-nothing moron."

"We were standing there shaking hands when a bus hit us."

mpbaker22

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Re: Humor
« Reply #8 on: July 24, 2013, 08:20:29 AM »
Sadly my only response to this is that women aren't paid as well as men, so by her spending less she is just keeping up.

LOL!

cureton9

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Re: Humor
« Reply #9 on: July 10, 2014, 11:52:43 PM »
Lol bus hit us...

brewer12345

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Re: Humor
« Reply #10 on: July 15, 2014, 11:45:28 AM »

marty998

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Re: Humor
« Reply #11 on: November 06, 2014, 02:56:44 AM »
Once upon a time a Prince asked a beautiful Princess, Will you marry me?

The Princess said, No!!!

And the Prince lived happily ever after and he rode motorcycles and chased skinny long-legged girls with big boobs and he hunted and fished and raced cars and went to naked bars and dated women half his age and drank whiskey, beer and Wild Turkey and never heard whinging and never paid child support or alimony and he banged cheerleaders and kept his house and guns and ate spam and potato chips and beans and blew enormous farts and never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was frikin cool and he had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up.

The end.

RetiredAt63

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Re: Humor
« Reply #12 on: November 10, 2014, 11:42:07 AM »
Robert Munsch rocks:
The ending of the Paper Bag Princess where Princess Elizabeth tells Prince Ronald what she really thinks of him…

“Your clothes are really pretty, and your hair is very neat. You look like a real prince, but you are a bum.” And they don’t get married after all.

sheepstache

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Re: Humor
« Reply #13 on: November 10, 2014, 11:46:48 AM »
A New Yorker is tooling around the Pennsylvania countryside looking at the lovely colors of the fall leaves. Unfortunately he gets in a fender bender with an Amish buggy.

Back to New York, he goes to the emergency room for a broken leg. A week later his insurance company calls and asks, 'Well, now, sir, why didn't you report this injury at the time of the accident?'

The New Yorker goes, 'The horse had a broken leg and I saw what they did to him!'

 

Wow, a phone plan for fifteen bucks!