Author Topic: Handling immediate family member obsessed with Facebook  (Read 1752 times)

deek

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 453
Handling immediate family member obsessed with Facebook
« on: September 05, 2018, 11:09:03 AM »
Love my dad (50 yrs) to death, but he fails to understand how much time he wastes by sitting at the computer obsessing over atheist posts and trying to prove non-atheists wrong. I've hidden his posts on FB. I love spending time with him, but when your loved ones don't have all their priorities straight, it really sucks. He doesn't really do anything besides work and go home on the weekdays to eat and sit at the computer. Is there any use in explaining to him why his son (me) has become so much happier ignoring all that garbage?

Please ignore if you still haven't ditched Facebook polarization and activism to instead live and act in real life.
« Last Edit: September 05, 2018, 11:17:10 AM by dj »

renata ricotta

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 703
Re: Handling immediate family member obsessed with Facebook
« Reply #1 on: September 05, 2018, 11:47:20 AM »
Now that you've hidden his posts on Facebook, what else do you need to "handle"?  What would you hope to gain out of telling him you want to ignore that garbage--has he asked you why you aren't liking or commenting on his posts?  If so, it would seem like a simple "I prefer to use Facebook to keep up with baby pictures/cat videos/etc." would suffice. 

Assuming that he is willing to get offline while you are physically in each other's presence and interact with you in person, I think the rest (what he does on his own time) is kind of his business, even if you have some potentially-justifiable sense of judgment about it. 

firelight

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1070
Re: Handling immediate family member obsessed with Facebook
« Reply #2 on: September 05, 2018, 11:48:53 AM »
As long as he isn't harming himself or neglecting his other duties, I don't see what the problem is. As you have a right to live the way you want, he has the right to do so too. You can gently explain your reasons for not using Facebook and how it makes your life happy but expecting him to follow your rules is a recipe for disaster.

deek

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 453
Re: Handling immediate family member obsessed with Facebook
« Reply #3 on: September 05, 2018, 01:09:02 PM »
Fair points. It's just frustrating, and isn't doing anything productive for his health, but if he thinks somebody might consider his arguments and he gets some kind of satisfaction out of that then so be it I guess.

mm1970

  • Senior Mustachian
  • ********
  • Posts: 10935
Re: Handling immediate family member obsessed with Facebook
« Reply #4 on: September 05, 2018, 03:56:30 PM »
I think he needs to read about a low information diet!  I know the temptation to get into FB arguments - my spouse added the wife of his HS friend to my acct (because the husbands don't do FB!) and she's about as pro-Trump as you can get.  So...I lasted a week before I had to snooze her for 30 days.

You might want to ask him what he gets out of it?  Does he think people are reading and caring?  Does he take religious posts personally?  Because it can feel that way.  All of a sudden there's this "bubble" (pro-Trump) in my feed and it feels like a personal attack.  And...it's not.  I chose to disengage, rather than start arguing with a very nice woman who I met exactly once.

Is he lonely?  Because the "good" thing about social media is that it gives you a connection. I keep in touch with family on the other side of the country and even in other countries, much more easily than ever before.  When you feel like the oddball out, it's nice to find others that you have things in common - running, crafts, healthy eating, scrapbooking, muscle cars, hiking, motorcycles...whatever your interests may be.  (I grew up as sort of a weirdo smart kid with few friends.)

And all I can think of is that...man, I read the sentence about the old guy and his Facebook problem, but he's not that old - same age as my spouse.  If it makes you feel any better, my husband basically works, does stuff around the house, and hangs out with the kids and me. 

Russ

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2211
  • Age: 33
  • Location: Boulder, CO
Re: Handling immediate family member obsessed with Facebook
« Reply #5 on: September 07, 2018, 02:21:27 PM »
Dad obsesses over people living their lives wrong
Son obsesses over Dad living his life wrong
I don't see much of a difference, other than one of you is not on the internet as much (and seems a little self-righteous about it)
You'll be happier if you can let go and lead by example

gooki

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 2917
  • Location: NZ
    • My FIRE journal
Re: Handling immediate family member obsessed with Facebook
« Reply #6 on: September 08, 2018, 04:08:05 AM »
Share this with him.

https://xkcd.com/386/

 

Wow, a phone plan for fifteen bucks!