Author Topic: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?  (Read 16533 times)

RetiredAt63

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #50 on: May 19, 2016, 11:52:23 AM »
Did Rumpole of the Bailey get it from "She"?  "She" is much older, and British.

In Montreal there is the 40, the 20, and Decarie. As in, I take the 40 to work.

Is it like how us Californians call the 5, "the 5", while the rest of the country doesn't? Because it's soo important/vital to our well-being?

As an aside, my boyfriend and I both use my.

Just as an FYI we call it the 5 in NW washington too

Another Oregonian. We call it I-5.

"She Who Must Be Obeyed" comes from John Mortimer's Rumpole of the Bailey series.
And it is somewhat hostile.

seathink

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #51 on: May 19, 2016, 12:59:52 PM »
Is it like how us Californians call the 5, "the 5", [...]

FWIW that's a Southern Californian "standard."

Here in the Bay Area, Freeway numbers are treated like proper names - for example: "Did you take 101 or 280 to the airport?".

And I also would generally use "my wife", or my wife's first name when talking about her with another party.

Drat, I meant to say Southern! You are so right!



A few years ago I was taking part in a bar quiz game, and one of the questions was asking the name of the highway that runs from Cali through Washington.  (I was pretty excited there was a question I could actually answer for my team, as opposed to some inane celebrity or technical science trivia.)  The announcer said he could tell who was from California, as we all dutifully wrote down "the 5" rather than "I-5".

Haha! Yeah, I'm from Washington and moved to LA so I get it. Of course, I'm from Spokane where I-90 is just called "the freeway" since we only had one all my life. Now they are getting a second one and everyone calls it "the North-South freeway".

Also, sorry for the freeway/PNW/CA foam everyone!

big_owl

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #52 on: May 19, 2016, 01:01:29 PM »
I use "my woman" quite often.  Not sure why or where I got it from.

andy85

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #53 on: May 19, 2016, 01:08:03 PM »
I use.....oh wait...

sheepstache

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #54 on: May 19, 2016, 01:46:00 PM »
Did Rumpole of the Bailey get it from "She"?  "She" is much older, and British.

In Montreal there is the 40, the 20, and Decarie. As in, I take the 40 to work.


Another Oregonian. We call it I-5.

"She Who Must Be Obeyed" comes from John Mortimer's Rumpole of the Bailey series.
And it is somewhat hostile.

There's one story where a friend of Hilda's almost overhears Rumpole call her that and he covers it up by claiming it's a reference to the H. Rider Haggard poem.

Cyaphas

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #55 on: May 19, 2016, 01:50:52 PM »
I jokingly refer to her as 'The General.' It's our relationship dynamic. She rules the roost and I'm happy to let her. Right now our lives are catered around her schedule because of school and she generally keeps track of major events. Which, I'm terrible at doing so.

Telecaster

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #56 on: May 19, 2016, 02:00:20 PM »

Yeah. I've lived in Seattle all my life and have never heard anyone call it anything other than I-5.

My wife (or maybe "the wife" I should say) lived in SoCal for a few years before moving up here.  She likes to it "the 5" or "the 99" but mainly just to be funny. 

andy85

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #57 on: May 19, 2016, 02:03:58 PM »
we don't say "I" or "the" for the interstates around my parts...we just say the number straight up...65, 265, 64, 264, 71

'there is a wreck on 64'
' i take 65 into work'
etc...weirdos

ketchup

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #58 on: May 19, 2016, 02:06:18 PM »
I jokingly refer to her as 'The General.' It's our relationship dynamic. She rules the roost and I'm happy to let her. Right now our lives are catered around her schedule because of school and she generally keeps track of major events. Which, I'm terrible at doing so.
A friend of mine refers to her mom as "The Warden."  She fits the title.

Captain FIRE

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #59 on: May 19, 2016, 02:43:34 PM »
A few years ago I was taking part in a bar quiz game, and one of the questions was asking the name of the highway that runs from Cali through Washington.  (I was pretty excited there was a question I could actually answer for my team, as opposed to some inane celebrity or technical science trivia.)  The announcer said he could tell who was from California, as we all dutifully wrote down "the 5" rather than "I-5".

Haha! Yeah, I'm from Washington and moved to LA so I get it. Of course, I'm from Spokane where I-90 is just called "the freeway" since we only had one all my life. Now they are getting a second one and everyone calls it "the North-South freeway".

Also, sorry for the freeway/PNW/CA foam everyone!

I also struggle with choosing between "highway" and "freeway".  As someone who has lived in a number of areas (e.g. the bar quiz was in Pennsylvania) I have provided much entertainment to my friend with a PhD in linguistics anytime I say something idiosyncratic.  I break all of the "where are you from?" quizzes.

Here's a possible explanation for the "the": https://www.quora.com/Why-do-people-in-Southern-California-say-the-before-freeway-names

Bracken_Joy

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #60 on: May 19, 2016, 03:15:15 PM »
I use "my woman" quite often.  Not sure why or where I got it from.
lol that one would probably earn you a smack upside the head from most of us women-folk here ;-). I always hated that as well as "my man" or "my guy".  But its all pretty personal and to each his/her own.for example when I hear "the wife" it always sounds like it should be accompanied by an eye roll and shrug or maybe a smirk. "My wife" just sounds like you are stating your relationship to this person and is nuetral.

I will occasionally use "my man", but it's said with a nice long drawl and a lusty wink. Very situationally dependent.

big_owl

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #61 on: May 19, 2016, 03:46:08 PM »
I use "my woman" quite often.  Not sure why or where I got it from.
lol that one would probably earn you a smack upside the head from most of us women-folk here ;-). I always hated that as well as "my man" or "my guy".  But its all pretty personal and to each his/her own.for example when I hear "the wife" it always sounds like it should be accompanied by an eye roll and shrug or maybe a smirk. "My wife" just sounds like you are stating your relationship to this person and is nuetral. Also using The wife rather than my wife seems to be common with older men (70's) and I automatically assume (probably wrongly) that the person saying it is much older.

Yeah, if you knew my wife you'd know there was no condescension meant at all but I assume that's true with most.  But that said, she wouldn't dare slap me, lol.

solon

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #62 on: May 19, 2016, 04:10:41 PM »
He just types at the top of the text box, instead of at the bottom like you :)

Did Rumpole of the Bailey get it from "She"?  "She" is much older, and British.

In Montreal there is the 40, the 20, and Decarie. As in, I take the 40 to work.

Is it like how us Californians call the 5, "the 5", while the rest of the country doesn't? Because it's soo important/vital to our well-being?

As an aside, my boyfriend and I both use my.

Just as an FYI we call it the 5 in NW washington too

Another Oregonian. We call it I-5.

"She Who Must Be Obeyed" comes from John Mortimer's Rumpole of the Bailey series.
And it is somewhat hostile.
hey R@63 just a quick off topic question. I notice that all your quoted posts have the quoted bit under your comments rather than before them like everyone else has.  How does that happen? Are you pressing a different quote button that I don't see? I find it a little difficult when responding but no biggie just curious. Maybe someone else knows why that happens.

calimom

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #63 on: May 19, 2016, 10:33:25 PM »
Referring to one's spouse as "the wife", or "the husband" or worse yet "the hubster" (barf) sounds as though you're describing a worn out appliance or car that has stopped performing efficiently. It might take a weekend or two shopping some sales to find an acceptable replacement for the machine that is causing so much displeasure.

And "hubby" or "wifey" sounds like a description of a spouse that you might find in an old moldy copy of Good Housekeeping from the 1960s.

Just the simple use of "my" as in "my husband" or "my wife" is far less dismissive and far more loving. The internet lexicon of DH or DW is easy enough.

Lagom

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #64 on: May 19, 2016, 10:46:53 PM »
Why is this a debate? While it's interesting to hear various preferences, I see absolutely no reason to suggest I should rethink the dynamic my/the wife/DW and I have developed between us. Our bond is one of love and respect. Who cares how someone else views how we choose to label that bond?

RetiredAt63

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #65 on: May 20, 2016, 06:21:13 AM »
Because I hate reading through a page of quote before the reply.  So I don't make others do it.  I try to chop irrelevant parts of the quote too.

If others fine it odd/hard, I can switch.

HShe just types at the top of the text box, instead of at the bottom like you :)

big_owl

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #66 on: May 20, 2016, 06:24:56 AM »
Referring to one's spouse as "the wife", or "the husband" or worse yet "the hubster" (barf) sounds as though you're describing a worn out appliance or car that has stopped performing efficiently. It might take a weekend or two shopping some sales to find an acceptable replacement for the machine that is causing so much displeasure.

And "hubby" or "wifey" sounds like a description of a spouse that you might find in an old moldy copy of Good Housekeeping from the 1960s.

Just the simple use of "my" as in "my husband" or "my wife" is far less dismissive and far more loving. The internet lexicon of DH or DW is easy enough.

Yawn. 

RetiredAt63

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #67 on: May 20, 2016, 07:31:50 AM »
Yawn.
I'm sure you can find more interesting (interesting to you, that is) threads - feel free to ignore us instead of yawning at us.

andy85

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #68 on: May 20, 2016, 08:27:24 AM »
Because I hate reading through a page of quote before the reply.  So I don't make others do it.  I try to chop irrelevant parts of the quote too.

If others fine it odd/hard, I can switch.

HShe just types at the top of the text box, instead of at the bottom like you :)
oh no don't change. I like that you are a rebel ;-). I just didn't understand why yours was different. Now  I know why.

OK here's another very old school way "The Missus". Although I have to admit I have never actually hear anyone say that except on old TV shows but I guess it use to be common. Probably went out back in the 70s and 80s along with "Mrs." in general (every woman was a Ms. whether married or single back then it seemed although I see its common for younger married women to use Mrs. now). I think "The Mister" was used too pre 1970s but seemed less common.
i hear "the missus" quite frequently...must be a southernish thing

RetiredAt63

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #69 on: May 20, 2016, 08:54:55 AM »
Ooh, I'm a rebel. Cool  ;-)   and hilarious. 

Nah, just traveling to the beat of my (different) drum, 60's song reference. 

Because I hate reading through a page of quote before the reply.  So I don't make others do it.  I try to chop irrelevant parts of the quote too.

If others fine it odd/hard, I can switch.

HShe just types at the top of the text box, instead of at the bottom like you :)
oh no don't change. I like that you are a rebel ;-). I just didn't understand why yours was different. Now  I know why.


hoping2retire35

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #70 on: May 20, 2016, 01:31:45 PM »
"Well, me and the old ball and chai....I mean, uh, uh...the wife are going...."

that's what it is. it is still kinda funny and I like using it on occasion.

With This Herring

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #71 on: May 20, 2016, 02:49:23 PM »
I don't mind "my" as a modifier.  "The" bugs me more because it is impersonal and and smacks of a property relationship.

But, back to "my".... an older friend of mine always referred to her husband as "my Greg" and if you were in her family you were "our Annie" or "my Ross".  She's a staunch feminist too.  I always liked it, actually.  It sort of conveyed that "you are one of us" or "we choose you."  The use of "my" with the proper name seemed very intimate and familial.

I've also noticed a tendency in some cultures that the use of "our so-and-so" is used to imply a feeling a family bonding, even among groups of friends.  I like it.

In Terry Pratchett's Discworld books, specifically those taking place in Lancre, the character Nanny Ogg and her extended family all refer to family members as "our Shawn" and "our Jason."  As the late Mr. Pratchett was British, this made me think that this charming quirk was common to the British countryside.  Would any Brits care to weigh in?

I think whether one takes "my (spouse)" and "the (spouse)" as having a positive or negative connotation is based on how you have heard it spoken.  Don't assume that someone means it in a derogatory or demeaning way unless the poster's other statements support that notion.

Giro

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #72 on: May 21, 2016, 10:47:02 AM »
Language is so interesting.  The actual words mean little without tone and context. I call my spouse many things.  My lovahhhh, my groom, my husband, the spouse, the bossman, the patriarch (said in horrible British accent), my king, and rarely that dick head.  Haha.  Kidding.

Does your spouse love you?  Kiss on you every morning? Bring you a glass of wine after a long day?  Wash your Shelby so it's ready for a nice day?  If so, you got a keeper.  And that's the only thing that matters.


sheepstache

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #73 on: May 21, 2016, 12:30:53 PM »
I don't mind "my" as a modifier.  "The" bugs me more because it is impersonal and and smacks of a property relationship.

But, back to "my".... an older friend of mine always referred to her husband as "my Greg" and if you were in her family you were "our Annie" or "my Ross".  She's a staunch feminist too.  I always liked it, actually.  It sort of conveyed that "you are one of us" or "we choose you."  The use of "my" with the proper name seemed very intimate and familial.

I've also noticed a tendency in some cultures that the use of "our so-and-so" is used to imply a feeling a family bonding, even among groups of friends.  I like it.

In Terry Pratchett's Discworld books, specifically those taking place in Lancre, the character Nanny Ogg and her extended family all refer to family members as "our Shawn" and "our Jason."  As the late Mr. Pratchett was British, this made me think that this charming quirk was common to the British countryside.  Would any Brits care to weigh in?

I think whether one takes "my (spouse)" and "the (spouse)" as having a positive or negative connotation is based on how you have heard it spoken.  Don't assume that someone means it in a derogatory or demeaning way unless the poster's other statements support that notion.

They do this in Keeping Up Appearances too. Or at least the "working class" part of the family does it. "Our Daisy" "Our Hyacinth" I noticed it too in Billy Elliot. There's a line it took me a long time to understand because I thought there was this new character called Altony, but finally realized they were referring to "our Tony."  So, yes, probably a British thing, or at least a certain group of Brits?

daverobev

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #74 on: May 21, 2016, 01:56:12 PM »
I don't mind "my" as a modifier.  "The" bugs me more because it is impersonal and and smacks of a property relationship.

But, back to "my".... an older friend of mine always referred to her husband as "my Greg" and if you were in her family you were "our Annie" or "my Ross".  She's a staunch feminist too.  I always liked it, actually.  It sort of conveyed that "you are one of us" or "we choose you."  The use of "my" with the proper name seemed very intimate and familial.

I've also noticed a tendency in some cultures that the use of "our so-and-so" is used to imply a feeling a family bonding, even among groups of friends.  I like it.

In Terry Pratchett's Discworld books, specifically those taking place in Lancre, the character Nanny Ogg and her extended family all refer to family members as "our Shawn" and "our Jason."  As the late Mr. Pratchett was British, this made me think that this charming quirk was common to the British countryside.  Would any Brits care to weigh in?

I think whether one takes "my (spouse)" and "the (spouse)" as having a positive or negative connotation is based on how you have heard it spoken.  Don't assume that someone means it in a derogatory or demeaning way unless the poster's other statements support that notion.

They do this in Keeping Up Appearances too. Or at least the "working class" part of the family does it. "Our Daisy" "Our Hyacinth" I noticed it too in Billy Elliot. There's a line it took me a long time to understand because I thought there was this new character called Altony, but finally realized they were referring to "our Tony."  So, yes, probably a British thing, or at least a certain group of Brits?

Midlands and further north, generally. I have a friend from Middlesbrough who always refers to her brothers as 'our Graham', 'our Barry'.

My grandfather had a comic book called 'Oor Wullie' - he was Scottish (both grandpa and the book!), meaning 'Our Willie' - William.

The missus etc are British too. Cockney rhyming slang for wife is 'trouble and strife' just so you know.

Rural

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #75 on: May 22, 2016, 07:12:39 AM »
Language and dialect are fascinating. I never use "DH" in discussions because I hate it - I imagine I'm responsible for a good percentage of the occurrences of "my husband" in here.


In spoken conversation when he is not present, I usually use "my husband" or "my husband, firstname" and then use his first name thereafter. But this discussion has made me realize I do use "himself" sometimes if the context is already clear. That's a deep-bedded bit of dialect I wasn't fully conscious of, but in thinkin about it, I can definitely hear "herself" in my grandfather's voice, referring to my grandmother.


When he is present, it's always his first name except for introductions, which are "my husband, firstname." He often introduces me as only "firstname," which bugs me.


Out here, some roads are "the" roads, but they are named for the place they go to. IE: (made up example) The Yorkville Road. It's the road that goes to Yorkville, and has likely been called exactly that since the time when it was the one and only road that went to Yorkville. Or, alternately, some roads are named for the two communities on either end. IE: The Riceburg-Harrisville Road.

mrpercentage

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #76 on: May 22, 2016, 05:33:33 PM »
The wife is a title used whe I begrudgingly admit that her will has won on this issue. It is a title. AKA the boss. It is usually used when I disagree with her judgement. It really isn't used often by me. I love my wife-- even when I say The Wife, because if I didn't she would never claim the title
« Last Edit: May 22, 2016, 05:36:27 PM by mrpercentage »

BlueHouse

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #77 on: May 22, 2016, 06:17:54 PM »
Is it like how us Californians call the 5, "the 5", [...]

FWIW that's a Southern Californian "standard."

Here in the Bay Area, Freeway numbers are treated like proper names - for example: "Did you take 101 or 280 to the airport?".

And I also would generally use "my wife", or my wife's first name when talking about her with another party.
In this area, people tend to want to call highways anything but the number:
495 or "The Beltway"
695 or "The SE/SW Freeway"
295 or "Anacostia Freeway"
267 or "The toll road" or for out-of-towners "The Dulles Toll Road"
286 or "Fairfax County Parkway"
Just about every numbered highway has another name that people who have lived here a long time call it.  I think it's a shibboleth to see who has lived here longest. 

goatmom

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #78 on: May 22, 2016, 08:49:54 PM »
My husband always refers to me as his "bride."  Very sweet.

calimom

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #79 on: May 22, 2016, 10:40:58 PM »
Totally agree! It's sweet and respectful. He still thinks of you as the beautiful woman you are :)

Inaya

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #80 on: May 23, 2016, 07:27:33 AM »
Online I refer to him as hubs. In real life I tend toward "my husband" when he is the topic of conversation (e.g., my husband doesn't eat leftovers or vegetables). Whereas if he is incidental to the conversation, I'll use "the husband" or simply "husband" (e.g., I might go to the art festival this weekend--I'll check with the husband).


What I would call a highway, freeway, or interstate is called an expressway around these parts. And they're called by names, not numbers. "The Stevenson" for I-55, "The Dan Ryan" for I-90/94, "The Kennedy" for I-190, etc. I had to look these up because I've never learned them in 4 years of living here, since I rarely drive.

Rural

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #81 on: May 23, 2016, 01:00:20 PM »
Totally agree! It's sweet and respectful. He still thinks of you as the beautiful woman you are :)


One of my colleagues, married somewhere between 30 and 40 years, does this, and it's charming every time. He also refers to her by her first name, and sometimes when talking to me he'll use "my herfirstname," but that's just for clarity since she and I have the same first name.

shelivesthedream

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #82 on: May 24, 2016, 07:27:56 AM »
I really hate the use of DH online. I'm not sure why. I think it's because I associate it, probably for no good reason, with snarky groups of internet women sharing excessively critical and personal details about their families.

I also hate "the wife" (which I hear much more often than "the husband"), because I associate it with stupid power dynamics in relationships. Mainly as in "I'll have to check with the wife" in a tone of voice which suggests that either she won't like it and he can't possibly have his own feelings about the subject, or that she won't like it but who cares because she's only the wife. I can't ever read it without adding either a dejected or sneering tone.

I am firmly in the "my husband" and "my wife" camp.

Also, +1 to "our Tony" being a northern, working class thing. Also common in Scotland and, I think, the West Country (though I might be wrong about that). It's not that old-fashioned in those areas, though. Maybe a bit middle aged these days, but you definitely get young people using that phrase.

woopwoop

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #83 on: May 24, 2016, 11:25:36 AM »
I really hate the use of DH online. I'm not sure why. I think it's because I associate it, probably for no good reason, with snarky groups of internet women sharing excessively critical and personal details about their families.
I hate it too, but I think that's because I associate it with "old people on the internet" - as in, it's what people in chatrooms used back when the internet first boomed. Of course I was a teenager then, so anyone old enough to be married was uncool and so was all their terminology ;)

Tom Bri

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #84 on: May 24, 2016, 08:19:29 PM »
I jokingly refer to her as 'The General.' It's our relationship dynamic. She rules the roost and I'm happy to let her. Right now our lives are catered around her schedule because of school and she generally keeps track of major events. Which, I'm terrible at doing so.

I used to occasionally call my wife 'Admiral' when she was being pushy. Which was funny because when my inlaws were in disagreement (which mom usually bullied dad into something) I overheard him call her admiral too.

When I say 'the boss' it is usually when I am making plans and need her Okay for something.
I use 'the wife' in jest, as I feel it can be a bit distancing.
I normally use 'my wife + name' when introducing.

PAstash

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #85 on: May 24, 2016, 09:35:59 PM »
Seriously, why do you say "the wife..." rather than "my wife..." so often?  "The husband..." just isn't a phrase used by anyone, ever. I don't get it.

I use that. I also call her Queen Bee. Because she is the matriarch. At least to me.

Drifterrider

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #86 on: May 25, 2016, 12:49:36 PM »
Seriously, why do you say "the wife..." rather than "my wife..." so often?  "The husband..." just isn't a phrase used by anyone, ever. I don't get it.

Because we don't dare say what "the wife" says when referring to the husband :)


Rollin

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #87 on: June 02, 2016, 08:07:13 AM »
I don't say that. I say "my wife" or use her first name if the person knows us. On here I use "DW" 'cause that's what she is (most of the time)!

Any way I refer to her though is out of respect, and I think that is where you were going with your question (actually a statement? - see I get this sometimes, but us "guys" could use a manual, yeah that's it, a Manly Manual!).
« Last Edit: June 02, 2016, 08:25:14 AM by Rollin »

Rollin

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #88 on: June 02, 2016, 08:26:35 AM »
I really hate the use of DH online. I'm not sure why. I think it's because I associate it, probably for no good reason, with snarky groups of internet women sharing excessively critical and personal details about their families.

I also hate "the wife" (which I hear much more often than "the husband"), because I associate it with stupid power dynamics in relationships. Mainly as in "I'll have to check with the wife" in a tone of voice which suggests that either she won't like it and he can't possibly have his own feelings about the subject, or that she won't like it but who cares because she's only the wife. I can't ever read it without adding either a dejected or sneering tone.

I am firmly in the "my husband" and "my wife" camp.

Also, +1 to "our Tony" being a northern, working class thing. Also common in Scotland and, I think, the West Country (though I might be wrong about that). It's not that old-fashioned in those areas, though. Maybe a bit middle aged these days, but you definitely get young people using that phrase.

I thought DH meant something else...hmmmm.

shelivesthedream

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #89 on: June 03, 2016, 12:59:30 AM »
I really hate the use of DH online. I'm not sure why. I think it's because I associate it, probably for no good reason, with snarky groups of internet women sharing excessively critical and personal details about their families.

I also hate "the wife" (which I hear much more often than "the husband"), because I associate it with stupid power dynamics in relationships. Mainly as in "I'll have to check with the wife" in a tone of voice which suggests that either she won't like it and he can't possibly have his own feelings about the subject, or that she won't like it but who cares because she's only the wife. I can't ever read it without adding either a dejected or sneering tone.

I am firmly in the "my husband" and "my wife" camp.

Also, +1 to "our Tony" being a northern, working class thing. Also common in Scotland and, I think, the West Country (though I might be wrong about that). It's not that old-fashioned in those areas, though. Maybe a bit middle aged these days, but you definitely get young people using that phrase.

I thought DH meant something else...hmmmm.

What?

patchyfacialhair

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #90 on: June 03, 2016, 05:40:38 AM »
I really hate the use of DH online. I'm not sure why. I think it's because I associate it, probably for no good reason, with snarky groups of internet women sharing excessively critical and personal details about their families.

I also hate "the wife" (which I hear much more often than "the husband"), because I associate it with stupid power dynamics in relationships. Mainly as in "I'll have to check with the wife" in a tone of voice which suggests that either she won't like it and he can't possibly have his own feelings about the subject, or that she won't like it but who cares because she's only the wife. I can't ever read it without adding either a dejected or sneering tone.

I am firmly in the "my husband" and "my wife" camp.

Also, +1 to "our Tony" being a northern, working class thing. Also common in Scotland and, I think, the West Country (though I might be wrong about that). It's not that old-fashioned in those areas, though. Maybe a bit middle aged these days, but you definitely get young people using that phrase.

I thought DH meant something else...hmmmm.

What?
dickhead. A common insult in the US. Or just dick for short -  "geeze my husband is such a dick. He drank all the beer and then expected me to wash up. Gad what a dickhead."

Thanks sparty, I now will only see "dickhead" when someone types DH. I'm dying that's too funny!

RetiredAt63

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #91 on: June 03, 2016, 07:53:52 AM »
DH can be Dear Hubby, darn hubby, damn hubby, dratted hubby, and of course the dickhead.  So much depends on context.  ;-)

NoStacheOhio

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #92 on: June 03, 2016, 08:08:22 AM »
"The" always gives me the faintest sense of unease. It doesn't bother me, per se, there's just something about it that I can't quite put my finger on. Maybe it just seems a little impersonal? People generally don't have definite articles when you're describing relationships in the first person. Also, using "the" when you're speaking in third person can lead to awkward, passive sentence construction (the CEO of McDonald's, the husband of Melissa).

I never considered "my" to be an owner/object type of word, and when you're using third person, the possessive is usually more natural (Melissa's husband, Intel's CEO). Hence, "my wife."

Tyson

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #93 on: June 03, 2016, 09:42:19 AM »
I call her "the spousal unit".  I guess in real life I give off a "gay vibe" although I am straight.  So using an intentionally gender ambiguous phrase is my way to play up that uncertainty a bit more.  Its interesting how uncomfortable some people get.  Most people are fine, but a few people seem almost receive when it turns out I am married to a woman. :shrug:?

Bracken_Joy

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #94 on: June 03, 2016, 10:18:59 AM »
I really hate the use of DH online. I'm not sure why. I think it's because I associate it, probably for no good reason, with snarky groups of internet women sharing excessively critical and personal details about their families.

I also hate "the wife" (which I hear much more often than "the husband"), because I associate it with stupid power dynamics in relationships. Mainly as in "I'll have to check with the wife" in a tone of voice which suggests that either she won't like it and he can't possibly have his own feelings about the subject, or that she won't like it but who cares because she's only the wife. I can't ever read it without adding either a dejected or sneering tone.

I am firmly in the "my husband" and "my wife" camp.

Also, +1 to "our Tony" being a northern, working class thing. Also common in Scotland and, I think, the West Country (though I might be wrong about that). It's not that old-fashioned in those areas, though. Maybe a bit middle aged these days, but you definitely get young people using that phrase.

I thought DH meant something else...hmmmm.

What?
dickhead. A common insult in the US. Or just dick for short -  "geeze my husband is such a dick. He drank all the beer and then expected me to wash up. Gad what a dickhead."

=o

This makes me sad. I use DH (as Dear Husband) a lot on here. I hope no one ever thinks I mean dickhead! Gosh. My husband is awesome, that would just be awful.

solon

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #95 on: June 03, 2016, 11:14:13 AM »
I always thought DH meant Designated Hitter. Took me a long time to realize people were talking about their (the, her) husband.

MrMoogle

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #96 on: June 03, 2016, 12:33:12 PM »
The wife, so it doesn't get confused with the girlfriend or the mistress.

Rezdent

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #97 on: June 04, 2016, 08:18:38 AM »
I really hate the use of DH online. I'm not sure why. I think it's because I associate it, probably for no good reason, with snarky groups of internet women sharing excessively critical and personal details about their families.

I also hate "the wife" (which I hear much more often than "the husband"), because I associate it with stupid power dynamics in relationships. Mainly as in "I'll have to check with the wife" in a tone of voice which suggests that either she won't like it and he can't possibly have his own feelings about the subject, or that she won't like it but who cares because she's only the wife. I can't ever read it without adding either a dejected or sneering tone.

I am firmly in the "my husband" and "my wife" camp.

Also, +1 to "our Tony" being a northern, working class thing. Also common in Scotland and, I think, the West Country (though I might be wrong about that). It's not that old-fashioned in those areas, though. Maybe a bit middle aged these days, but you definitely get young people using that phrase.

I thought DH meant something else...hmmmm.

What?
dickhead. A common insult in the US. Or just dick for short -  "geeze my husband is such a dick. He drank all the beer and then expected me to wash up. Gad what a dickhead."

Thanks sparty, I now will only see "dickhead" when someone types DH. I'm dying that's too funny!
haha - all of us divorced women see that ;)! jk Bracken Joy as I think most everyone sees Dear Husband when seeing DH - even divorced me as XDH was pretty awesome too.

I wonder what the equivilant for DW would be? Damn Woman? Or maybe TDW " The Damn Wife! I work hard all day, come home and drink some beer and then she rags on me for not cleaning up my mess afterwards. Dmn Woman".
Would that be covered under SWMBO (she who must be obeyed)?

Cyaphas

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #98 on: June 04, 2016, 04:37:23 PM »
DH can be Dear Hubby, darn hubby, damn hubby, dratted hubby, and of course the dickhead.  So much depends on context.  ;-)

There are a lot of acronyms frequently used on this forum that aren't really obvious. I thought about starting a thread to cover some of the basic ones.

MrMoogle

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Re: Guys, why do so many of you say "the wife..."?
« Reply #99 on: June 06, 2016, 07:40:36 AM »
DH can be Dear Hubby, darn hubby, damn hubby, dratted hubby, and of course the dickhead.  So much depends on context.  ;-)

There are a lot of acronyms frequently used on this forum that aren't really obvious. I thought about starting a thread to cover some of the basic ones.
Forum FAQ:
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http://www.early-retirement.org/forums/f47/acronyms-and-slang-frequently-used-on-the-forum-34884.html