Goodbye to my sweet friend

[Firehazard]

I just wanted to throw this out there in the ether.  The internet is the only thing I can think of that may be around forever.  I lost my beloved cat yesterday, and I miss her terribly already.  Perhaps this isn't the place for it.  I don't know.  I just needed to write it.  Thanks for your patience.

Hello sweet cat,

I hope you know how much I have loved you, these 16 years, four months and some days that we have been together.  No other human or animal has ever given me the unwavering love that you have.   No matter how many times I brought other pets in to live with us, no matter how many times we moved, or how busy I was, you never let it phase you, and you never, ever let anyone or anything come between us.  You'll never know how grateful I have been for your love.  I'm really not that lovable, but you loved me anyway.

So many things I loved about you, sweet kitten.  You watched over me when I slept.  You gazed up at me so lovingly when we snuggled.  You were so playful, even in your old age.  You always greeted me when I walked into the room, with your wonderful little bird chirps.  You had so much personality.  You even had room in your heart for the dogs.

You were the cutest little kitten I ever saw.  You demanded that I take you home with me that day in the Alachua County Animal Shelter, and you were right.  You climbed up on my shoulder like a parrot and purred in my ear.  How could I not fall in love with you?  You were so ill, little one, when the day arrived to bring you home.  You didn't play, or eat or drink for the first few days.  I was so worried about you.  But then you got better and all the fun started.  What a wonderful friend you have been.   

I'm so glad that we were able to enjoy the backyard together these past three years.  It did my heart good to see you outside drinking up the sunshine, sniffing the flowers and watching the birds.  I wish I'd found a way to do that with you sooner.  You took to the outdoors like you'd been there all your life.

My heart has a great big empty space in it since you left.  I hope you knew I was there with you, holding you in my arms, when you passed.  I hope you weren't hurting and that you weren't afraid.  I hope wherever you are now, that you're warm, comfortable, have a full belly and above all, that you can feel the immense love I will always have for you.  I wish with all my aching heart that I could hold you one more time, feel your soft fur under my hands, and kiss that little strip of white on your nose.

I don't know how to let you go.  I will never forget you, my sweet little girl.  You were, and always will be, the very best.

[joonifloofeefloo]

Oh my goodness.

What a beautiful goodbye.

I'm so sorry your beloved cat has died. You were so lovely to her.

Thank you for sharing with us your love for her, and your sorrow.

[Anatidae V]

I'm sorry for your loss, and happy for the beautiful life your cat shared with you.

[LeRainDrop]

I'm terribly sorry for your loss.  Certainly she has crossed the Rainbow Bridge and is happy chasing butterflies and watching over you.

[Flyingkea]

I cried reading that, it was very poignant.
I am sorry for your loss, she she sounds like a wonderful companion.

[LifeHappens]

What a wonderful tribute! I'm sorry for your loss, but happy you were able to love each other for 16 years.

[G-dog]

So sorry for your loss. Losing a pet is so hard, and calling them pets doesn't adequately describe the love and care we share when they come into our lives.

[Bracken_Joy]

Firehazard, I am so, so sorry. I lost my dog in September, and this brought tears to my eyes. Actual tears, not internet metaphorical figure of speech ones. The ones that make my nose run and make my husband a little worried for my well being.

I am sorry for your pain, but I am happy to know that an animal was so loved, so dear to someone, and will be so remembered. <3

[pbkmaine]

Thank you for this. I was reminded so poignantly of my Chloe, gone 4 years now. At the very end, she would climb onto my chest like she did when she was a kitten. I will miss you always, sweet girl.

[former player]

I am so sorry for your loss.

This was absolutely the right place for a beautiful tribute to a well loved friend.

[westtoeast]

Lovely description of you and your cat's relationship-- tears in my eyes too. Your words make it clear what a special creature she was. So sorry for your loss.

[lizzzi]

Yes, real tears here, too. So sorry for your loss. A loving pet is a true friend, much more so than many humans we know, and that includes human family members. A loving pet is so much a part of our real family-- a faithful partner, a comrade through thick and thin. Some of us can understand probably better than you think we do. Many hugs--it may take a while, but you'll eventually look back with joy and not with tears.  And I'm sure your cat is playing in the sunshine across the Rainbow Bridge--happy and well. And you'll see her again someday when you cross it yourself. Wishing you peace during this hard time.

[SunshineAZ]

That was very touching and sweet, it brought tears to my eyes.  I can relate so much, I lost my "soulcat" Guinness almost 9 years ago and I still miss him when I read posts such as yours.  It will take time, but eventually you will smile at sweet memories that come up.  I have a picture of him as a kitten that makes me smile when I see it now.  She sounds like she was a great friend and companion, you are lucky for the wonderful time you got to spend with her.  I am very sorry for your loss. 

[ElleFiji]

It is an impossible hardship

[Firehazard]

Thanks to all of you for such kind words.  I didn't expect actual replies, but am truly grateful for all the condolences.  I'm sorry if I brought to mind any painful memories, and am sorry for your losses as well.  Special pets have a way of taking a bit of us with them when they go, don't they?

Thank you for letting me vent here.   

[margarita]

I am so sorry.  Until you have a soulmate animal it is so hard to understand the depth of the loss we feel.

 To our sweet 95 pound lump of lovable 12-1/2 year old  golden retriever that died on labour day we miss you every minute of every day.  Londie I know you can run now and your legs don’t hurt anymore

Your sweet friend was so loved by you and always will be in your heart.

[Just Joe]

That was simply beautiful.

[Polaria]

So sorry to hear this.
My cat Shrimp crossed that bridge 3 weeks ago at 16 years and 9 months. Her mother Lili did the same exactly one year before.
Now all I have left is 2 urns and a ragged down Pikachu pet toy. So yeah that totally sucks but that is the deal when you take pets. Personally I'm done with this, the end is just too hard.

I wish I could uplift your mood, but mine's as low as yours I'm afraid.

[wenchsenior]

Oh, damn.  You got me weepy.

Our old girl is pushing 20, and we're bracing for this same loss.  It's going to SUCK, but she is one of the best cats I've ever met.

I feel you.

[Firehazard]

Polaria, I am so sorry for your loss.  I have another cat and two dogs to draw comfort from.  I can't imagine how bad it would be without them (and my SO of course).  Sending hugs to you and also to the poster who lost her golden recently.  I have a big goofy lab myself, and can not even think about the void he'll leave behind.

Three years ago, we had three cats and two dogs.  We've now lost 2 cats, and due to the ages of the remaining three pets being fairly close to one another, I know we are in for some very sad times over the next few years.  I don't think I ever want to be completely without a pet, but eventually, I think it will be just one at a time, plus maybe a foster here or there.  That way, the devastation will only come around once every 15 years or so.  This never occurred to me as I was building this little family of animals.  I wouldn't trade any of them for the world though, and I do feel like saving 5 lives was not a waste of time, despite the pain I am feeling now.  But, the loss does wear on you.

[Bracken_Joy]

So, tangentially related- those of you who have lost your Soulpets. How do you go on? We're dog people, and I know we want another dog someday... but when we talk about what age/breed to get, we just always come back to... can't we have Old Miss Dog back?! She was the best, and I don't think we'll ever have another dog as wonderful as her. It's like I can't even see forward.

[G-dog]

So, tangentially related- those of you who have lost your Soulpets. How do you go on? We're dog people, and I know we want another dog someday... but when we talk about what age/breed to get, we just always come back to... can't we have Old Miss Dog back?! She was the best, and I don't think we'll ever have another dog as wonderful as her. It's like I can't even see forward.

After we lost out first dog, my spouse wanted to get another right away. But I just couldn’t. It seemed so disrespectful to treat her like a fungible object. I made him wait two years. Then we adopted another from a shelter. She was the only dog for several years, then we got another (still with us).  When we lost our 2nd dog, we didn’t wait to get another - spouse argued that the remaining dog would be lonely (we both worked full time).  So far, they have all been the best in some way. They are all really unique, and have their quirks and personalities. But they all bring us joy and laughter.

No dog will be another Old Miss Dog. They will be themselves, and will be wonderful - when you are ready. It’s OK to not be ready yet.

[Bracken_Joy]

So, tangentially related- those of you who have lost your Soulpets. How do you go on? We're dog people, and I know we want another dog someday... but when we talk about what age/breed to get, we just always come back to... can't we have Old Miss Dog back?! She was the best, and I don't think we'll ever have another dog as wonderful as her. It's like I can't even see forward.

After we lost out first dog, my spouse wanted to get another right away. But I just couldn’t. It seemed so disrespectful to treat her like a fungible object. I made him wait two years. Then we adopted another from a shelter. She was the only dog for several years, then we got another (still with us).  When we lost our 2nd dog, we didn’t wait to get another - spouse argued that the remaining dog would be lonely (we both worked full time).  So far, they have all been the best in some way. They are all really unique, and have their quirks and personalities. But they all bring us joy and laughter.

No dog will be another Old Miss Dog. They will be themselves, and will be wonderful - when you are ready. It’s OK to not be ready yet.

We've both had, and lost, pets in the past. (Including suddenly/traumatically, in my case). And they were all wonderful, and certainly were loved... but somehow Old Miss Dog was different. There was something even deeper there.

I am glad to know other people take a long time though. It was like a slap in the face the number of people who were like "oh so are you going to get a puppy now!?"

It's only been 2 months since she passed away, and we have tentatively aimed our sights on late spring/early summer. We'll see if anything has clarified before then =\ The house sure seems empty as hell in the meantime though.

Oh, and G-Dog: I think you were the one who advised me, after losing Old Miss, to try not to feel guilty about enjoying the freedom not having a pet gives you, that it isn't an affront to her memory. Thank you for that. Again.

[G-dog]

So, tangentially related- those of you who have lost your Soulpets. How do you go on? We're dog people, and I know we want another dog someday... but when we talk about what age/breed to get, we just always come back to... can't we have Old Miss Dog back?! She was the best, and I don't think we'll ever have another dog as wonderful as her. It's like I can't even see forward.

After we lost out first dog, my spouse wanted to get another right away. But I just couldn’t. It seemed so disrespectful to treat her like a fungible object. I made him wait two years. Then we adopted another from a shelter. She was the only dog for several years, then we got another (still with us).  When we lost our 2nd dog, we didn’t wait to get another - spouse argued that the remaining dog would be lonely (we both worked full time).  So far, they have all been the best in some way. They are all really unique, and have their quirks and personalities. But they all bring us joy and laughter.

No dog will be another Old Miss Dog. They will be themselves, and will be wonderful - when you are ready. It’s OK to not be ready yet.

We've both had, and lost, pets in the past. (Including suddenly/traumatically, in my case). And they were all wonderful, and certainly were loved... but somehow Old Miss Dog was different. There was something even deeper there.

I am glad to know other people take a long time though. It was like a slap in the face the number of people who were like "oh so are you going to get a puppy now!?"

It's only been 2 months since she passed away, and we have tentatively aimed our sights on late spring/early summer. We'll see if anything has clarified before then =\ The house sure seems empty as hell in the meantime though.

Oh, and G-Dog: I think you were the one who advised me, after losing Old Miss, to try not to feel guilty about enjoying the freedom not having a pet gives you, that it isn't an affront to her memory. Thank you for that. Again.

I don’t think that was me, but I agree. I typically say to trust your decision if you had to make the difficult choice to have a pet put down. It’s so easy to 2nd guess those tough choices.

The corollary is that I think you will know when it’s time to add a new dog to your family. 

[LifeHappens]

It is tricky to know when to get another pet. I think the needs of the household kind of dictate the best time. When our Girl Kitty died, it took about 2 weeks for her brother, Lazy Cat, to become despondent. He was very clingy, especially towards me, and clearly lonely. He also just wasn't moving around very much. We decided he needed a younger, active cat to keep him acting young. We adopted Crazy Cat about 6 weeks after Girl Kitty's passing. If Lazy Cat seemed content as a single cat we would not have adopted another so quickly, but his needs were greater than our needs at that time.

[Firehazard]

I think a person can heal faster having another pet, especially a dog, around to take care of and to keep them active and outdoors.  It's hard to stay sad when you're on a hike with a joyful dog on a beautiful day.  They sure know how to make a party out of any little excursion.  That's the therapy I'm using now to help me get over the loss of my cat.  It really helps, at least in the moment.

Beyond that, at any given time, while we grieve our losses, there are so many amazing dogs waiting in shelters on borrowed time, who would love to help someone heal.  Both of mine came from shelters and they are fantastic dogs with an incredible zest for life.  I often look at them and think what a waste it would have been had no one ever adopted them!

This puts it sweetly:
http://www.lifewithdogs.tv/2014/07/a-dogs-last-will-testament/

[Bracken_Joy]

I think a person can heal faster having another pet, especially a dog, around to take care of and to keep them active and outdoors.  It's hard to stay sad when you're on a hike with a joyful dog on a beautiful day.  They sure know how to make a party out of any little excursion.  That's the therapy I'm using now to help me get over the loss of my cat.  It really helps, at least in the moment.

Beyond that, at any given time, while we grieve our losses, there are so many amazing dogs waiting in shelters on borrowed time, who would love to help someone heal.  Both of mine came from shelters and they are fantastic dogs with an incredible zest for life.  I often look at them and think what a waste it would have been had no one ever adopted them!

Old Miss was a rescue too. She was 7 when I got her, and lived to 14. She had been a breeder in a barn for the previous ~5 years of her life. She just kinda... fell into my lap, like Fate or the Universe (or all those forces I don't believe in) delivered her to me.

I definitely feel the tug of dogs waiting in shelters and needing homes, but can't help but wonder if another dog will just happen into my life again at the right time.

[Firehazard]

Bracken_Joy, you might want to consider fostering.  You sound like such a loving caretaker.  Short-term commitment, just taking care of them until their new family comes along.....unless that dog turns out to be The One.  You never know.

[Bracken_Joy]

Bracken_Joy, you might want to consider fostering.  You sound like such a loving caretaker.  Short-term commitment, just taking care of them until their new family comes along.....unless that dog turns out to be The One.  You never know.

Aww thank you =) I have been dog sitting, and that's helped quite a bit. If I fostered, I'm not sure I could bear to see them go though!

[pbkmaine]

For us, what works is to get another right away. There are so many who need homes.

[FrugalZony]

Oh my cat, Firehazard!! Beautiful words!!

I am very sorry for your loss!! I am glad you got to enjoy each other for 16 years!!

The thought of loosing my kitties pains me. I know the day will come, I hope it won't come for a long time.
When it does, I hope, I'll have the strengths to find words as beautiful as yours.

Wishing you all the best, going forward! My babies send you healing purrs!!

[Just Joe]

I am glad to know other people take a long time though. It was like a slap in the face the number of people who were like "oh so are you going to get a puppy now!?"

I figure those kinds of people don't have the same kind of connection to their pets as we do. Sometimes these are the same people who give away dogs or cats casually b/c they were just too much trouble. I've been on the receiving end of these types of people a couple of times. Doesn't seem to trouble the person at all.

Family and I are lifetime pet people. Also want to adopt rescues and have for years. They are part of the family like so many of this group have explained.

[aspiringnomad]

Such a beautiful, poignant tribute to your friend. My sincere condolences for your loss, and as others have said, maybe you can take some solace in knowing that there are so many other kittens out there desparately in need of a home. None of them will replace your dear friend, and you may not have a similar connection, but that's what made it so special.

[EricL]

While it's easy to be dismissive of them, cats and dogs are de facto children to a lot of people.  This epiphany occurred to me once after someone threatened my cat.  I threatened to kill him if he did.  And I wasn't even in the littlest bit joking.

Others can argue whether pets considered as children should be a thing or not.  Maybe it shouldn't.  But it surely is now.  The current world moves very fast and there's a real shortage of something a pet offers: unconditional love.  Well, maybe not completely unconditional. There is that food thing. :D   But certainly more than a boss, many friends, and in more and more circumstances, spouses and actual children. 

My condolences. 

[Squirrel away]

Sorry for your loss.xxx It's so sad to lose pets.

I lost two of my cats this year and it has been really hard.

[RetiredAt63]

So sorry. 

I've said goodbye to 3 cats and 2 dogs, and it never gets any easier. 

When to get another?  So much depends on individual circumstances. There was a 4 year gap between dog 1 and 2, and dog 3 came along while dog 2 was still with us.  Cats were all rescues, with no overlap - our rescues were all very territorial (they knew they were onto a good home) and a new cat was not allowed to trespass.

Each one is a unique individual, a new member of the family and not a "plug-in" replacement.