Author Topic: Extroverts: how do you get better at being alone?  (Read 4041 times)

lifejoy

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3928
  • Age: 35
  • Location: Canada, eh
  • Lovin' the Mustachian life!
    • Not Buying This
Extroverts: how do you get better at being alone?
« on: July 29, 2014, 06:36:36 PM »
When I am alone for too long, I get sad and unmotivated. Does anyone have a way out of that?


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

ender

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7402
Re: Extroverts: how do you get better at being alone?
« Reply #1 on: July 29, 2014, 08:20:53 PM »
What is "too long" to you?

15 minutes?

15 days?

15 hours?


lifejoy

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3928
  • Age: 35
  • Location: Canada, eh
  • Lovin' the Mustachian life!
    • Not Buying This
Extroverts: how do you get better at being alone?
« Reply #2 on: July 29, 2014, 08:27:07 PM »
What is "too long" to you?

15 minutes?

15 days?

15 hours?

Good question. I think if I go a day without stimulating social contact, I feel withdrawn and unlike myself.

lithy

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 178
  • Age: 39
  • Location: Mount Oliver, PA
  • Drink Indigenous
Re: Extroverts: how do you get better at being alone?
« Reply #3 on: July 29, 2014, 08:34:53 PM »
When I am around people for too long, I get angry and annoyed.  Does anyone have a way out of that?

Anatidae V

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 7626
  • Age: 34
  • Location: Fourecks
  • Nullus Anxietas
Re: Extroverts: how do you get better at being alone?
« Reply #4 on: July 30, 2014, 05:41:39 AM »
I tend to the introverted side of the spectrum, but I miss people after a day as well. Actually, I can be useless if I'm by myself for an evening. I'm just not used to not having anyone around.

Think about what it is that you need about people. I need a bit (but not constant) of background chatter. I like turning on the tv, a podcast, or music for a little while. Can you go somewhere nice for a walk where there's other people? A cafe?

If it's actual interaction, try asking people you don't know well, but would like to know better, to catch up for a drink (beverage depends on preferences).

MoneyCat

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1752
  • Location: New Jersey
Re: Extroverts: how do you get better at being alone?
« Reply #5 on: July 30, 2014, 09:06:09 AM »
Researchers have found that either watching TV or chatting on the internet provides many of the same benefits as social interaction.  If you are stuck at home alone for a long period of time, try watching a show on Netflix or coming on here to talk with people and it might make a difference.

lifejoy

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3928
  • Age: 35
  • Location: Canada, eh
  • Lovin' the Mustachian life!
    • Not Buying This
Re: Extroverts: how do you get better at being alone?
« Reply #6 on: July 30, 2014, 09:09:42 AM »

Researchers have found that either watching TV or chatting on the internet provides many of the same benefits as social interaction.  If you are stuck at home alone for a long period of time, try watching a show on Netflix or coming on here to talk with people and it might make a difference.

Lol I watch way too much TV! And I know I'm using it as a poor replacement for human interaction.

Coming on here is nice, too.

I'll try the busy cafe/bar idea, but I'm nervous about this affecting my spending.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

rocksinmyhead

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1489
  • Location: Oklahoma
Re: Extroverts: how do you get better at being alone?
« Reply #7 on: July 30, 2014, 10:25:19 AM »
ohhh I can relate! "sad and unmotivated" is the perfect phrase to describe it, and one day is about my limit too.

I like doing things where I at least get out in the world and SEE other people, even if they are strangers. running errands (if there are any that need to be run, don't just go to Target and spend money! LOL) or going for a run or walking my dogs... the latter two have the added benefit of endorphins, and being totally free! leisurely bike rides are great too!

if you aren't actually busy with working from home or something, then another thing I like to do is try to really embrace/enjoy/appreciate the fact that I have a WHOLE DAY to myself to do whatever project I want... cook something fancy, organize a corner of the house that's been driving me nuts, etc. (yeah, I'm really exciting, LOL)

but ultimately, I try to avoid having too many of those days because they do make me really sad. do you work from home or is there something else that forces them on you?

MoneyCat

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1752
  • Location: New Jersey
Re: Extroverts: how do you get better at being alone?
« Reply #8 on: July 30, 2014, 10:36:40 AM »

Researchers have found that either watching TV or chatting on the internet provides many of the same benefits as social interaction.  If you are stuck at home alone for a long period of time, try watching a show on Netflix or coming on here to talk with people and it might make a difference.

Lol I watch way too much TV! And I know I'm using it as a poor replacement for human interaction.

Coming on here is nice, too.

I'll try the busy cafe/bar idea, but I'm nervous about this affecting my spending.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Have you thought about organizing a Meet Up with other Mustachians in your area?  Also, you could invite friends on a hike or for a bike ride or you could have them over for a potluck.  None of those activities involve spending money.

lifejoy

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3928
  • Age: 35
  • Location: Canada, eh
  • Lovin' the Mustachian life!
    • Not Buying This
Re: Extroverts: how do you get better at being alone?
« Reply #9 on: July 30, 2014, 10:37:33 AM »

ohhh I can relate! "sad and unmotivated" is the perfect phrase to describe it, and one day is about my limit too.

I like doing things where I at least get out in the world and SEE other people, even if they are strangers. running errands (if there are any that need to be run, don't just go to Target and spend money! LOL) or going for a run or walking my dogs... the latter two have the added benefit of endorphins, and being totally free! leisurely bike rides are great too!

if you aren't actually busy with working from home or something, then another thing I like to do is try to really embrace/enjoy/appreciate the fact that I have a WHOLE DAY to myself to do whatever project I want... cook something fancy, organize a corner of the house that's been driving me nuts, etc. (yeah, I'm really exciting, LOL)

but ultimately, I try to avoid having too many of those days because they do make me really sad. do you work from home or is there something else that forces them on you?

Luckily, my work days are FULL of people, so that always makes me feel great :)

My days off aren't normally so empty, but my fiancé is away for a month and it's driving me crazy. I'm going to try some of your ideas, but the "unmotivated" part of the equation can make it hard for me to do things. Practice makes perfect, I guess!


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

lifejoy

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3928
  • Age: 35
  • Location: Canada, eh
  • Lovin' the Mustachian life!
    • Not Buying This
Re: Extroverts: how do you get better at being alone?
« Reply #10 on: July 30, 2014, 10:38:50 AM »


Researchers have found that either watching TV or chatting on the internet provides many of the same benefits as social interaction.  If you are stuck at home alone for a long period of time, try watching a show on Netflix or coming on here to talk with people and it might make a difference.

Lol I watch way too much TV! And I know I'm using it as a poor replacement for human interaction.

Coming on here is nice, too.

I'll try the busy cafe/bar idea, but I'm nervous about this affecting my spending.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Have you thought about organizing a Meet Up with other Mustachians in your area?  Also, you could invite friends on a hike or for a bike ride or you could have them over for a potluck.  None of those activities involve spending money.

Such good ideas! Sadly, I know of only one other mustachian in the province. And I don't have many friends here. But I'm thinking of planning a wine and cheese potluck and inviting everyone on my floor as a "get to know your neighbour" kind of thing.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

rocksinmyhead

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1489
  • Location: Oklahoma
Re: Extroverts: how do you get better at being alone?
« Reply #11 on: July 30, 2014, 12:15:11 PM »

ohhh I can relate! "sad and unmotivated" is the perfect phrase to describe it, and one day is about my limit too.

I like doing things where I at least get out in the world and SEE other people, even if they are strangers. running errands (if there are any that need to be run, don't just go to Target and spend money! LOL) or going for a run or walking my dogs... the latter two have the added benefit of endorphins, and being totally free! leisurely bike rides are great too!

if you aren't actually busy with working from home or something, then another thing I like to do is try to really embrace/enjoy/appreciate the fact that I have a WHOLE DAY to myself to do whatever project I want... cook something fancy, organize a corner of the house that's been driving me nuts, etc. (yeah, I'm really exciting, LOL)

but ultimately, I try to avoid having too many of those days because they do make me really sad. do you work from home or is there something else that forces them on you?

Luckily, my work days are FULL of people, so that always makes me feel great :)

My days off aren't normally so empty, but my fiancé is away for a month and it's driving me crazy. I'm going to try some of your ideas, but the "unmotivated" part of the equation can make it hard for me to do things. Practice makes perfect, I guess!


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

ohhhh I gotcha. yeah, in 2012 I had several months where my boyfriend and I were apart and I was in new cities, so I definitely feel ya!! I used a couple of those months to train for a 50K, that was pretty sweet especially because I might not ever have that much free time/few distractions again :) I definitely hear you on the lack of motivation/general sluggishness, but I think just the fact that you've NOTICED what makes you feel shitty might help motivate you to get off the couch! good luck!! :)

hybrid

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1688
  • Age: 57
  • Location: Richmond, Virginia
  • A hybrid of MMM and thoughtful consumer.
Re: Extroverts: how do you get better at being alone?
« Reply #12 on: September 04, 2014, 01:58:53 PM »
OP, I have to get my work done at some time!

Being alone hasn't been my problem in a long time, having enough time for the people I want to spend more time with has always been the greater challenge.

allergic2average

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 59
  • Location: Queens, NY
Re: Extroverts: how do you get better at being alone?
« Reply #13 on: September 26, 2014, 09:40:55 PM »
When I am around people for too long, I get angry and annoyed.  Does anyone have a way out of that?

Tune them out, I know its easier said then done but just go to a place in your mind where you can't hear them anymore.  Thats what I do when I'm around stupid people, I just ignore them and concentrate on my own thoughts

kyanamerinas

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 161
Re: Extroverts: how do you get better at being alone?
« Reply #14 on: September 26, 2014, 11:41:45 PM »
I'm an introvert so my issue is planning in lone time so don't get stressed. However, i do always go for a walk in town at lunch so that i at least see people. The potluck sounds fun.

 

Wow, a phone plan for fifteen bucks!