Do you tell?

[ep114]

Just out of curiosity, do you share your goal of FIRE with others?  It seems as if some keep it secret, but I don't really.
I don't share numbers, but if someone suggests I buy something pricey for example I might say offhand like "I'm trying to be smart with my money so I can have a big nest egg and retire early and do something more fun if I want"  or "good god, I don't need any more stuff" 
Some closer friends or family know that this is something that I am seriously trying to accomplish.  (just for clarification, at this point my goal  isn't necessarily to stop working, but to have the option)

**I have to admit I don't share this too much with potential romantic prospects. I have a nice salary, but judging by my lifestyle a guy would probably think I make about 30% - %50 less.  I find that if men know that I have/make more money than them, they sometimes get skittish (intimidated, freaked out, whatever)

[bUU]

Where any discussion of that sort is appropriate, I have an out: I simply refer to the fact that it wouldn't make sense for us to wait until my spouse is 77 (when I reach FRA) to start the rest of our lives together.

[cerberusss]

Personally, my goal isn't really early retirement. It's more: lower my expenses so I could live off of my side business as an independent software producer.

I don't share this goal except with one or two of my closest friends.

[Zamboni]

No, because frankly I think people would see it as boasting. 

My children know, and that's it. 

Children seem to understand that I can show them what must seem like incomprehensibly huge balances in accounts in one minute and turn around and tell them 10 minutes later "no we can't afford that (toy, fancy shoes, fast food snack, whatever.)"  I've actually recently started changing that tune from "we can't afford it" to "that would be a special treat.  do you think that's a wise choice for spending?  What about <insert much smarter option here>?" 

If I spread the word, then my extended family would start asking for money.  Other people would resent it.  I know because I watched another guy share similar information with peers at work, and he was pretty universally despised for it.

[ender]

Just out of curiosity, do you share your goal of FIRE with others?  It seems as if some keep it secret, but I don't really.

My good friends probably know. It's hard to hide when you go from being a grad student to full time engineer and don't buy anything new.

I don't share numbers, but if someone suggests I buy something pricey for example I might say offhand like "I'm trying to be smart with my money so I can have a big nest egg and retire early and do something more fun if I want"  or "good god, I don't need any more stuff"

I have similar conversations. I tend to be a bit of a "care about finance!" evangelist, so it becomes more difficult sometimes. But I currently respond something like, "I would love to but I'm saving for a house right now."
 

at this point my goal  isn't necessarily to stop working, but to have the option

Same. This concept is absolutely mindblowing to almost everyone, though, which makes for really awkward conversations..

**I have to admit I don't share this too much with potential romantic prospects. I have a nice salary, but judging by my lifestyle a guy would probably think I make about 30% - %50 less.  I find that if men know that I have/make more money than them, they sometimes get skittish (intimidated, freaked out, whatever)

Try being a guy in his mid 20s driving a 2005 station wagon ;)  Let's just say my lifestyle doesn't exactly reflect my income, hehe.

I get crap all the time from people about my vehicle. An engineer driving a 9 year old car?! Zomg. It stopped bothering me, because I now hear instead, "the only way I can validate my existence is by buying things I don't need. I'm insecure about this, so you should buy (x) too!"

[AlmostIndependent]

A few close friends know. I mentioned it to my parents one and they were kind of "meh" about it. I'm not mentioning it until I haven't been working a while. When they ask how work is I'll say "work? I haven't worked in months!" I'm REALLY looking forward to that.

[tomatoprincess]

Only my close friends and family. Acquaintances and co-workers tend to judge harshly, I'd rather pretend I have money troubles like most people.

[ruthiegirl]

Good grief, no. 

Money has been the root of too many hurt feelings in my extended family, so I say nothing.  Those without money feel victimized.  Those with it feel persecuted.  Everyone loses when we talk about money. 

And with our friends, we just keep it low-key.  We don't talk money, we don't talk savings or retirement.  We potluck and camp and do easy, family focused stuff which can be very low cost.  Money rarely comes up, if ever.

[Micheal]

We keep it to ourselves, if her family knew what we were planning and what we actually save per month my MIL would be at our house every day with a hand out and reminding us of every time they have ever helped us.  And I hate having to explain myself for every decision we make that she knows about already.  And the most of our friends are hopeless with money of any kind.  One couple had trouble making it on 5k a month and when he lost his job they dam near went bankrupt.  So no we keep it to ourselves.

[Osprey]

Well. I was previously in the "tell everyone everything" camp but on reading this thread I'm having second thoughts. My biggest fear is being perceived as lazy or unambitious by my friends and colleagues and as an easy source of cash by my family (although this is happening already in any case). I also don't want people to resent me. So from now on I guess I'll keep it to myself and the SO.

[matchewed]

Hell yes I do. What do I care if the rest of the world thinks I'm lazy? I'm living my life on my terms with my goals. Trying to measure that using popular culture as the measuring stick is always going to fail. Get used to it.

[burly]

I work for a wealth management firm, so all my clients are FI and my peers are investment managers etc... I find the younger people (Late Twenties), my peers in age, seem to laugh about early retirement etc and state that I'm not 'living life'. While the older co workers (40-50) are very supportive of anti consumerism and keep saying I am so smart for not buying that BMW, etc. Regardless, I'm on year 1 of my trek so I don't have those large balances yet. :-P

[Villanelle]

In some contexts.  It seems a little odd to bring it up if someone suggests going to Starbucks.  In that situation, it does seem over the top.  "Coffee run?"  "No thanks.  I plan to retire at age 40 and spend my time biking around the city and learning to oil paint.  In order to do that, I need to save 50% of my current income, so I've cut out all wasteful spending."  Weird.

But if the subject of retirement or where we see ourselves in 20 years comes up, then I'll likely mention it.  "Husband and I have really cut back on things and we hope that by the time he gets out of the military, our savings and his pension will be enough that we are able to retire.  He'll probably keep working, and I may as well, but it will be because we choose to.  It's meant sacrificing some things, but I want to be able to not work far more than I want another pair of shoes most of the time."

You gotta judge your audience and your situation.  Otherwise, it can come off as preachy and boastful.  And yes, if you have family that might see you as a source of "assistance" if they know your financial situation, keep your mouth shut.  As far as my brother in law is concerned, "we have no extra cash", which is true since none of our money is superfluous.  It's all got a purpose, but that purpose is retirement, rather than a payment on a Ford Excessive and financed sofa set. 

[AlmostIndependent]

I'm on year 1 of my trek so I don't have those large balances yet. :-P

Don't worry. Give it a few years and all those people who say you're not living will be the same people making excuses for their broke selves when you're sitting on $1 million. It feels like it's never going to happen and then suddenly it starts to happen really fast. You're on the right track, I promise.