Yes. I decided a few years ago that I needed to become a better person, for me and the world. I wanted to be what I wanted to see in the world, to be the change I wanted to see, etc. I wasn’t an asshole or anything, I was just living in my own bubble. I was severely depressed for as long as I can remember in my life, very unhappy, dissatisfied, and couldn’t really see a way out except for one choice that, if successful, I couldn’t return from and would break many people’s hearts. :(
I made the choice to change because I couldn’t keep going on with that perspective – it was destroying me. Every day I try to remember kindness, compassion, joy; to take deep breaths, appreciate the sunshine and the leaves on the trees and the sound of the birds. I try to make eye contact and smile at others wherever I go, and say hi, because I’ve been incredibly lonely, and I know how much it hurts to feel invisible to the world when surrounded by others. I remember how much pain I felt (and what I still feel, and carry with me) and I know that I’m not the only one. I want to help make the world a better place, and some of those are my small ways that I think I contribute.
I know not everyone feels this way, and that’s okay. I think it’s just how I feel like I click with the world. I don’t force anything with anyone, just let others do their thing and I’ll do my own; I just want to be an overall positive presence. Yes, it's still a struggle, but I think I am better for it. :)