Yes. I decided a few years ago that I needed to become a better person, for me and the world. I wanted to be what I wanted to see in the world, to be the change I wanted to see, etc. I wasnít an asshole or anything, I was just living in my own bubble. I was severely depressed for as long as I can remember in my life, very unhappy, dissatisfied, and couldnít really see a way out except for one choice that, if successful, I couldnít return from and would break many peopleís hearts. :(
I made the choice to change because I couldnít keep going on with that perspective Ė it was destroying me. Every day I try to remember kindness, compassion, joy; to take deep breaths, appreciate the sunshine and the leaves on the trees and the sound of the birds. I try to make eye contact and smile at others wherever I go, and say hi, because Iíve been incredibly lonely, and I know how much it hurts to feel invisible to the world when surrounded by others. I remember how much pain I felt (and what I still feel, and carry with me) and I know that Iím not the only one. I want to help make the world a better place, and some of those are my small ways that I think I contribute.
I know not everyone feels this way, and thatís okay. I think itís just how I feel like I click with the world. I donít force anything with anyone, just let others do their thing and Iíll do my own; I just want to be an overall positive presence. Yes, it's still a struggle, but I think I am better for it. :)