Author Topic: DNA Testing and Surprise Sibling!  (Read 5156 times)

pbkmaine

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Re: DNA Testing and Surprise Sibling!
« Reply #50 on: September 19, 2018, 01:38:13 PM »
I did the Ancestry DNA test. I found out my parents actually are my biological parents, which was reassuring . I also found a first cousin once removed who was given up for adoption at birth. That was interesting. And then I discovered that I’m like the lederhosen guy in the Ancestry commercials. My maiden name is of Swiss extraction, but it’s only that thread that came from Switzerland and Germany. I’m mostly British Isles.

RetiredAt63

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Re: DNA Testing and Surprise Sibling!
« Reply #51 on: September 19, 2018, 05:33:43 PM »
I did the Ancestry DNA test. I found out my parents actually are my biological parents, which was reassuring . I also found a first cousin once removed who was given up for adoption at birth. That was interesting. And then I discovered that Iím like the lederhosen guy in the Ancestry commercials. My maiden name is of Swiss extraction, but itís only that thread that came from Switzerland and Germany. Iím mostly British Isles.

It`s that patrilineal name thing.  I know so many people who have English last names who are French, and have French last names who are English.  One Grandparent - but it's the father's father, so . . . .

Cassie

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Re: DNA Testing and Surprise Sibling!
« Reply #52 on: September 19, 2018, 09:00:32 PM »
Thanks Sisto as I was really hurt. My other 2 siblings refused to have anything to do with her but I welcomed her with open arms. She may be my dadís daughter but nothing like him because he was a kind man that never knew a stranger.  He went out of his way to help others.

teen persuasion

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Re: DNA Testing and Surprise Sibling!
« Reply #53 on: September 23, 2018, 03:14:49 PM »
This might be a good place to ask my question. Our library Friends group was approached, through an intermediary, about paying for a subscription to Ancestry for the library. The cost was estimated to begin at $5k+/year, with no rate locks. For this "bargain" price, alas, one did not get access to military records or newspaper clippings, nor could one save their search, only print it out. All efforts to communicate with Ancestry directly for more details/options were fruitless. We felt this was a total rip-off and tabled it indefinitely. Does anyone have any experience in this area? We're willing to spend the money, but only if the value to the community is there.

My library has an annual subscription to Ancestry, I believe it is thru ProQuest.

Patrons can access Ancestry for free as long as they use our IP address, either on one of the library's public computers on on their own device via the library's WiFi.  You can "save" documents, they are sent to your email, and you can print them from there.  I believe I have shared "saved" documents with other family members by forwarding the email.

The charge is based on the library's service population, more for bigger library populations, less for smaller.  Ours was in the couple thousand dollars range, IIRC.  Sometimes a library system will subscribe for all member libraries.  I believe our state also has provided a state-only subset of access.

I've used a website called something like "Fulton Post Cards" that has newspaper clippings submitted by users.  If your local paper was digitized and submitted, it can yield hits, but very spotty coverage.  It's been a while since I've tried that site, so I'm fuzzy on the name.  I remember it  looked pretty retro, hope it's still functional.

simonsez

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Re: DNA Testing and Surprise Sibling!
« Reply #54 on: September 24, 2018, 10:41:23 AM »
Wasn't it Shakespeare that said:

"It is better to have found and lost than to have never found at all."  ;-)

Do you regret this journey?  It is probably hard to accurately value it right now due to the short term hurt but as an outsider, I find this fascinating and thank you for your story (and to others as well!).  I hope later when this calms down that you are glad you connected, if only for a short while.

talltexan

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Re: DNA Testing and Surprise Sibling!
« Reply #55 on: September 24, 2018, 12:22:04 PM »
My godmother--who is one of four sisters all in their fifties from Colombia--discovered they have an older step sister living in Northern Mexico. The family has been so warm in welcoming their new relatives into the fold.

Cassie

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Re: DNA Testing and Surprise Sibling!
« Reply #56 on: September 25, 2018, 12:21:10 PM »
Simon, I wish she had never contacted me. We became close by texting everyday, sharing our lives etc and she dumped me for not liking trump when she lives in Australia.  I suggested we not be Facebook friends from the beginning but she insisted.  My siblings are not welcoming like me and now I wish I hadnít been either. I feel like she used me to get information about our family, pictures of my dad, etc. I feel used. No more long lost relatives for me.

pachnik

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Re: DNA Testing and Surprise Sibling!
« Reply #57 on: September 25, 2018, 01:08:07 PM »
Simon, I wish she had never contacted me. We became close by texting everyday, sharing our lives etc and she dumped me for not liking trump when she lives in Australia.  I suggested we not be Facebook friends from the beginning but she insisted.  My siblings are not welcoming like me and now I wish I hadnít been either. I feel like she used me to get information about our family, pictures of my dad, etc. I feel used. No more long lost relatives for me.

I think it is odd that she's so interested in Trump when she lives in Australia?  Sorry it went like this for you.  Sounds like a real high and then a real low.  :(

OurTown

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Re: DNA Testing and Surprise Sibling!
« Reply #58 on: September 25, 2018, 02:50:17 PM »
One of my bio siblings I have only recently met has subsequently passed away.  I am both fortunate and blessed that I had the opportunity to meet him in the final year of his life.

Drole

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Re: DNA Testing and Surprise Sibling!
« Reply #59 on: September 26, 2018, 06:02:14 AM »
Simon, I wish she had never contacted me. We became close by texting everyday, sharing our lives etc and she dumped me for not liking trump when she lives in Australia.  I suggested we not be Facebook friends from the beginning but she insisted.  My siblings are not welcoming like me and now I wish I hadnít been either. I feel like she used me to get information about our family, pictures of my dad, etc. I feel used. No more long lost relatives for me.

Maybe separate the Trump thing from the rest of it.  I'm one of those on the other side of things.  I have no photos or info about my grandparents on one side because of an adoption.  On the other side I only have a couple because of a rather selfish aunt and now cousin who have kept entire family albums to themselves and don't even scan photos.  Cheers to you for generosity.  Try to remember how blessed you are to not only have photos, but also memories. 

talltexan

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Re: DNA Testing and Surprise Sibling!
« Reply #60 on: September 26, 2018, 07:13:01 AM »
Losing contact with a blood relative because of Trump posts on social media. Sounds like you went through the entire cycle with this person!

pachnik

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Re: DNA Testing and Surprise Sibling!
« Reply #61 on: September 26, 2018, 08:13:32 AM »
Simon, I wish she had never contacted me. We became close by texting everyday, sharing our lives etc and she dumped me for not liking trump when she lives in Australia.  I suggested we not be Facebook friends from the beginning but she insisted.  My siblings are not welcoming like me and now I wish I hadnít been either. I feel like she used me to get information about our family, pictures of my dad, etc. I feel used. No more long lost relatives for me.

Maybe separate the Trump thing from the rest of it.  I'm one of those on the other side of things.  I have no photos or info about my grandparents on one side because of an adoption.  On the other side I only have a couple because of a rather selfish aunt and now cousin who have kept entire family albums to themselves and don't even scan photos.  Cheers to you for generosity.  Try to remember how blessed you are to not only have photos, but also memories.

+1  this is a good way to look at it.  Cheers to your generosity, Cassie!

Cassie

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Re: DNA Testing and Surprise Sibling!
« Reply #62 on: September 27, 2018, 11:39:55 AM »
Thanks for the support everyone! It has been 2 months and I am getting less bitter about the whole thing. She had a great step dad that raised her but a crazy abusive mom so I am sure that shaped her. I had 2 very loving parents. I am 64 and when I return to my hometown and visit my high school friends they will reminisce about how goofy and fun my dad was. He was the one that drove us everywhere and would have us all singing songs from the 1940ís:))