The Money Mustache Community
Other => Off Topic => Topic started by: jojoguy on March 21, 2019, 04:48:03 AM
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Hi, guys/gals. I`m feeling terrible lately over this. Recently diagnosed with a combination of these things after a long battle of not confronting it. I feel like a hypocrite because I used to be such a skeptic of ADHD being a real thing. Now, I am feeling really stressed and depressed over the whole situation. It feels like I`ve been exposed and it makes the whole situation feel much worse. The knowledge of this makes me dwell on thoughts of the whole thing and my anxiety is going through the roof. I need some words of encouragement, prayer, and for people to talk in general about it on here. I`m not seeking arguments. Talking to people about it is some great therapy.
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As someone who has been on/off depression medicine most of my life, it gets better. It's a really trite phrase (and maddening tbh in the moment) but it is true.
One of the things that is most crippling about depression and mental illness is the massive social stigma associated with it. If you had a broken arm, no one would think twice about it - including you - but for some reason broken chemicals in the brain aren't as meaningful to most people.
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Are you under medical care? Are you in therapy? If the answer to either of these questions is "No" please seek out some resources to help you. There are low cost online therapy providers if you don't have insurance coverage or the ability to meet in person.
It will get better, but the more people you can get on your care team right now, the better off you'll be.
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I wonder if those 3, anxiety, depression, and ADHD, are linked because I was diagnosed with all 3 as well. Except ADHD was split up between ADD and ADHD back then (I have ADD).
Mental illnesses and disabilities can be caused by chemical imbalances in the brain. They are very real and need to be addressed.
I went through a rough time in the beginning 1-2 years of college and ended up giving in and talking to a therapist who can prescribe medication.
This was hard for me to do since I don't like talking to therapists and don't even take Advil.
He ended up putting me on meds for depression and anxiety. I'm not sure how well they worked but I seemed to be stable.
He was also testing out different meds for ADD. Nothing worked there until we got to Adderall.
Taking Adderall cleared the mental fog in my head and I could finally express my thoughts and be productive.
Long story short, I continued taking the medications that were prescribed to me for the next 3 years while under the doctors supervision.
I didn't want to have to take meds for the rest of my life so I eventually stopped taking them (this was not under doctors supervision but looking back maybe it should have been).
Now I have been off all medications for about 6 years and am doing great.
I do still battle with all 3 (and likely will for the rest of my life) but it is very manageable now and does not stop me from thriving.
I have slight social anxiety but I have found that for me personally, facing it head on and seeking discomfort helps me combat it.
I feel like I sort of faked a "type A" personality until it became real.
I also notice myself getting down at times for no reason and combat that by staying busy and active, staying positive, eating healthy, reducing stress, and getting a good night sleep.
I also notice that my head is in a fog sometimes and I can't get my thoughts out properly or I completely lose motivation to do anything.
I've found that doing the above helps with that as well.
Also, I believe that being so open and vulnerable like you are here will only help you learn what you need to do to not only get through this but to thrive.
It likely will require continual action on your part to combat this since it will always be a part of you.
Accept it, take action, and make the best out of the life that you were given.
Feel free to shoot me a PM to chit chat.
Most people don't like to hear about frugality, investing, and lifestyle optimization so I'm always looking for more friends with those interests!
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@LifeHappens Yes, I started some treatment. My regular doctor prescribed Welbutrin, but after a month on them, I feel no different. I went to a psychiatrist and then a psychologist. Nothing was prescribed as of yet. They want to do a thorough examination before prescribing anything else. Honestly, the wait has been turmoil. The test is 2 hours long and it won't be until the second week of April.
@35andFI You sound a lot like me. The awareness of what I have makes it a hundred times worse. I have actually been experiencing little panic attacks at work. Trying to persevere.
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They want to do a thorough examination before prescribing anything else. Honestly, the wait has been turmoil. The test is 2 hours long and it won't be until the second week of April.
That's hard. Sorry you have to wait so long. It can take a while before you get meds dialed in. You may go through several options. It will get better, but the process is tough.
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I was a skeptic of depression/anxiety treatment methods (specifically meds) in the past. When my SO gave birth to our son, the post partum depression started almost immediately. It was so terrible, shocking, and undeniably unlike her that we sought treatment. I've been humbled and my ignorance washed away. I only wish I could help others see that treatment is nothing to snear at and meds aren't the devil. NOT seeking treatment is the same as letting an infection fester-it an kill. I wish society and the media wouldn't joke about this matter or romanticize it. "Take a Xanax" or any flippant comment like that denigrates and does more harm in that it trivializes a serious illness.
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The main difference I've seen in the meds is not in how my SO feels or even what she does, but in how she reacts to things. It's very subtle, but the frustration and anxiety over tiny problems have been replaced by a calmer, more measured response. The immediate emotion is no longer the first reaction. Other things too I'll expand on later. Basically it is as if the heightened emotional sensitivity has been taken down a few notches and gives her space to think through before reacting. The meds don't affect day to day things or change her personality. Starting with the lowest possible dose was key I think, along with talk therapy.
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http://rebtdoctor.com/index.html
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I've gone back and forth about trying to get myself diagnosed - I'm obviously a fairly extreme outlier in most social respects and have risk factors in my background - but have decided that I've accommodated myself to who I am and will stick with that. You have my respect for deciding otherwise - if I were younger, or braver, or thought I had more to gain, I might have made the leap into trying to change things.
What I take from your post, OP, is that unlike me you have been able to shake things up in the hope of better things to come. That is wholly admirable, and while I'm sure it feels totally unsettling at the moment I'm sure that good things will eventuate. Be brave, and go forth!
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I take 20 mg of flouxetine (formerly known as Prosac) and 1 mg of Pimozide daily for Tourette's syndrome. It has been transformative. I suffered from violently trying to suppress ticks and low level anxiety for decades not realizing that I was the only one who felt that way.
The right medicine can do wonders. But it isn't easy to find the right medicine. I tried dozens of meds and several cocktails before I settled on what worked with minimal/tolerable side effects. And I've had to go super light on use of caffeine. I wouldn't go back to the old way though.
I used a neurologist instead of a Psych doctor and got great treatment.
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Thanks for the kind words and advice friends. I think this thread should keep going because I am seeing that there are others who have these problems. I don`t know why this is coming to a head now in my life. I have tried ignoring the issue for years, but sometimes I kind of sit back and examine the little things I do and realize that it is not normal behavior and it is not fair to my family. The worse thing is not doing anything or feeling incapable of doing anything! A knowledge of something simple to do feeling difficult to do is mind boggling to me, but it is what I face every day. Even going out with family to have a good time(which I know I will) feels HARD TO DO! It is best described as a fear without cause to fear.
Even stranger is some things can hold my interest in a very obsessive sort of way. This part is a blessing in a way because I am obsessed with the knowledge I have learned on this website and board. However, the downside comes from discouragement or discouraging people. Some things lose my interest. Yes, even things I obsess over. I don`t expect it with FI though. Two reasons: 1. My wife is all for it. 2. It is not a mere thought, but a lifestyle we are going through.
I hope all of this makes sense in a way.
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@LifeHappens Yes, I started some treatment. My regular doctor prescribed Welbutrin, but after a month on them, I feel no different. I went to a psychiatrist and then a psychologist. Nothing was prescribed as of yet. They want to do a thorough examination before prescribing anything else. Honestly, the wait has been turmoil. The test is 2 hours long and it won't be until the second week of April.
@35andFI You sound a lot like me. The awareness of what I have makes it a hundred times worse. I have actually been experiencing little panic attacks at work. Trying to persevere.
Just a note on the Wellbutrin - my younger brother (age 35) started taking it in the last year and mentioned that he really felt the difference a couple of months in.
He's been on and off meds since his teens and likes the Wellbutrin for the fewer side effects it seems to have for him. His totally non-scientific and only anecdotally based theory is that the extended time to "feel" it and the low side-effects are related.
Regarding why things might be happening now: I'm not sure of your age, but I recently read that our threshold for coping with certain things (ADHD being one) changes somewhere around age 40.
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@LifeHappens Yes, I started some treatment. My regular doctor prescribed Welbutrin, but after a month on them, I feel no different. I went to a psychiatrist and then a psychologist. Nothing was prescribed as of yet. They want to do a thorough examination before prescribing anything else. Honestly, the wait has been turmoil. The test is 2 hours long and it won't be until the second week of April.
@35andFI You sound a lot like me. The awareness of what I have makes it a hundred times worse. I have actually been experiencing little panic attacks at work. Trying to persevere.
Just a note on the Wellbutrin - my younger brother (age 35) started taking it in the last year and mentioned that he really felt the difference a couple of months in.
He's been on and off meds since his teens and likes the Wellbutrin for the fewer side effects it seems to have for him. His totally non-scientific and only anecdotally based theory is that the extended time to "feel" it and the low side-effects are related.
Regarding why things might be happening now: I'm not sure of your age, but I recently read that our threshold for coping with certain things (ADHD being one) changes somewhere around age 40.
I'm 38.
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If you haven’t read SPARK: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain, you should check it out. The research is compelling and it will give you a starting point to manage the anxiety, depression, and ADHD symptoms while waiting for the clinicians to complete their comprehensive evaluations. I’m not saying that exercise is the only way to manage these disorders, but having a healthy lifestyle (sleep, exercise, diet) is the basic building block to allow Medication and therapy to be optimally effective.
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I wonder if those 3, anxiety, depression, and ADHD, are linked because I was diagnosed with all 3 as well. Except ADHD was split up between ADD and ADHD back then (I have ADD).
Mental illnesses and disabilities can be caused by chemical imbalances in the brain. They are very real and need to be addressed.
I went through a rough time in the beginning 1-2 years of college and ended up giving in and talking to a therapist who can prescribe medication.
This was hard for me to do since I don't like talking to therapists and don't even take Advil.
He ended up putting me on meds for depression and anxiety. I'm not sure how well they worked but I seemed to be stable.
He was also testing out different meds for ADD. Nothing worked there until we got to Adderall.
Taking Adderall cleared the mental fog in my head and I could finally express my thoughts and be productive.
Long story short, I continued taking the medications that were prescribed to me for the next 3 years while under the doctors supervision.
I didn't want to have to take meds for the rest of my life so I eventually stopped taking them (this was not under doctors supervision but looking back maybe it should have been).
Now I have been off all medications for about 6 years and am doing great.
I do still battle with all 3 (and likely will for the rest of my life) but it is very manageable now and does not stop me from thriving.
I have slight social anxiety but I have found that for me personally, facing it head on and seeking discomfort helps me combat it.
I feel like I sort of faked a "type A" personality until it became real.
I also notice myself getting down at times for no reason and combat that by staying busy and active, staying positive, eating healthy, reducing stress, and getting a good night sleep.
I also notice that my head is in a fog sometimes and I can't get my thoughts out properly or I completely lose motivation to do anything.
I've found that doing the above helps with that as well.
Also, I believe that being so open and vulnerable like you are here will only help you learn what you need to do to not only get through this but to thrive.
It likely will require continual action on your part to combat this since it will always be a part of you.
Accept it, take action, and make the best out of the life that you were given.
Feel free to shoot me a PM to chit chat.
Most people don't like to hear about frugality, investing, and lifestyle optimization so I'm always looking for more friends with those interests!
First time I read about Type A personality. Went to read on it and it really feels like me. The hypothesis describes Type A individuals as outgoing, ambitious, rigidly organized, highly status-conscious, sensitive, impatient, anxious, proactive, and concerned with time management.
I've also been struggling with anxiety (performance and social) all my life. Also been diagnosed with ADD about 2 years ago. I got prescribed medication, but I stopped taking them out of fear I guess... I have always performed despite those issues (both in school and at work). In fact, I suspect this personality type helped my perform, but brought a lot of stress/anxiety.
I have also been seeing psychologists on and off for many years.
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Hi, guys/gals. I`m feeling terrible lately over this. Recently diagnosed with a combination of these things after a long battle of not confronting it. I feel like a hypocrite because I used to be such a skeptic of ADHD being a real thing. Now, I am feeling really stressed and depressed over the whole situation. It feels like I`ve been exposed and it makes the whole situation feel much worse. The knowledge of this makes me dwell on thoughts of the whole thing and my anxiety is going through the roof. I need some words of encouragement, prayer, and for people to talk in general about it on here. I`m not seeking arguments. Talking to people about it is some great therapy.
This whole paragraph sounds like depression and anxiety talking, not you. It's both ironic and not at all ironic that the disease makes you feel so bad about having the disease. Please recognize that this is depression talking, not you.
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Hi, guys/gals. I`m feeling terrible lately over this. Recently diagnosed with a combination of these things after a long battle of not confronting it. I feel like a hypocrite because I used to be such a skeptic of ADHD being a real thing. Now, I am feeling really stressed and depressed over the whole situation. It feels like I`ve been exposed and it makes the whole situation feel much worse. The knowledge of this makes me dwell on thoughts of the whole thing and my anxiety is going through the roof. I need some words of encouragement, prayer, and for people to talk in general about it on here. I`m not seeking arguments. Talking to people about it is some great therapy.
This whole paragraph sounds like depression and anxiety talking, not you. It's both ironic and not at all ironic that the disease makes you feel so bad about having the disease. Please recognize that this is depression talking, not you.
I believe so. I am feeling okay at the moment and can reflect a little on my post. I'm glad I posted it when I was feeling down. Persevering.
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Beware of taking ADHD meds when you have anxiety, as they tend to be stimulants, which can worsen anxiety. Some ADHD symptoms can overlap with anxiety too, so make sure you have a correct diagnosis. While waiting for meds, you could try GABA and fish oil supplements. Best of luck.
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Beware of taking ADHD meds when you have anxiety, as they tend to be stimulants, which can worsen anxiety. Some ADHD symptoms can overlap with anxiety too, so make sure you have a correct diagnosis. While waiting for meds, you could try GABA and fish oil supplements. Best of luck.
Definitely paying attention to this. I'm really thinking a lot of my anxiety comes from the thought of being overwhelmed whenever I get multiple tasks all at once given to me(for instance) at work. Multitasking scares me. I have to calm down and ask my bosses to put them in order. If they do, it eases things down in my head and I can focus straight forward, instead of my mind racing in hundreds of directions. It reeeeally sucks if I have a boss that says everything is a priority. I still need things in order and I have to embaressingly explain to him/her why. At the same time, I am terrified of asking for help. They mistakingly assume by me not asking for help means I don't need help. All in all, I still do a good job though and have a good reputation. I really am just tired of these feelings of panic and my mind racing over even simple tasks.
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Definitely paying attention to this. I'm really thinking a lot of my anxiety comes from the thought of being overwhelmed whenever I get multiple tasks all at once given to me(for instance) at work. Multitasking scares me. I have to calm down and ask my bosses to put them in order. If they do, it eases things down in my head and I can focus straight forward, instead of my mind racing in hundreds of directions. It reeeeally sucks if I have a boss that says everything is a priority. I still need things in order and I have to embaressingly explain to him/her why. At the same time, I am terrified of asking for help. They mistakingly assume by me not asking for help means I don't need help. All in all, I still do a good job though and have a good reputation. I really am just tired of these feelings of panic and my mind racing over even simple tasks.
Whoo Buddy - I have one of those bosses and jobs and this is what I do: I take the list down, ask "do you have a preferred priority?", If he says "everything" I treat it the same as him saying "no priority", then I say "All right, I'm on it" and then go back to my desk and write an email in which I layout the order I will be working on things and end with something like "Please let me know if you want any changes."
When you multi task and have a boss who doesn't give the clearest directions, I find that CYA goes REALLY far.
FWIW - I also have pretty bad anxiety, including panic attacks, and it has taken me several years to get to this position of feeling confident enough to prioritize on my own when my boss doesn't give direction. But it really makes my life better.
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Definitely paying attention to this. I'm really thinking a lot of my anxiety comes from the thought of being overwhelmed whenever I get multiple tasks all at once given to me(for instance) at work. Multitasking scares me. I have to calm down and ask my bosses to put them in order. If they do, it eases things down in my head and I can focus straight forward, instead of my mind racing in hundreds of directions. It reeeeally sucks if I have a boss that says everything is a priority. I still need things in order and I have to embaressingly explain to him/her why. At the same time, I am terrified of asking for help. They mistakingly assume by me not asking for help means I don't need help. All in all, I still do a good job though and have a good reputation. I really am just tired of these feelings of panic and my mind racing over even simple tasks.
FWIW - I also have pretty bad anxiety, including panic attacks, and it has taken me several years to get to this position of feeling confident enough to prioritize on my own when my boss doesn't give direction. But it really makes my life better.
I felt the same thing with my current position until I got a new boss. My confidence dropped like a rock. Honestly, this is the main reason I am getting therapy. I knew I have had a problem for a long time, but kept putting it off until recent times.
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Last June I picked up running for the first time in my life. I had been a heavy weightlifter my whole life and always knew of the benefits (mental) that weight lifting provided.
Since I have seriously picked up running, it has been an amazing compliment to the mental benefits of my weightlifting. Weightlifting I feel helps self esteem, energy, amongst other things. I have found that running has been a HUGE benefit to reduce anxiety and also increase mental focus. While work is getting insanely busier and more stressful with my responsibilities multiplying, I’m not stressing about it like I have in the past and am also better able to focus. I don’t think this is just for running, but any intense cardio activities for several hours/week.
In addition, in February I did a 28 day meditation challenge. I think that also had a very positive impact on reducing anxiety, stress, and increasing mental focus. I’ve done “pretty good” maintaining it into March, but could improve.
I’ve been prescribed many ADD drugs and anti-depressants over the year, and I’ve found that those items above have been a more positive impact than any of them by far.
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I'm not an MD and I am not giving medical advice. I do however manage my diagnosed anxiety and depression without medication (I've tried medication) with a combination of diet (AIP (https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/320195.php)), exercise, and meditation.
I'm not opposed to medication, I just haven't had much luck with the ones I have tried. I would mention that some people with ADHD respond well to the off-label use of Modafinil.
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Right now I am working a lot and I`m not able to run or exercise. It is a real busy time at work. I`ve worked over three weeks straight and will probably not be off for at least another twenty days. This is good and bad. Good in that I am moving around in mainly a routine, not sitting down to sulk, and the great amount of overtime. Bad because I`m not able to do much with family, exercise, and my feet hurt. Trying to keep my mind clear.
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Hang in there, Jojoguy! It does get better. Really.
I started getting depressive episodes in college which resolved quickly, so I didn't recognize the problem at the time. I got into a bad job situation in my 20s, and would literally wish to be hit by a car so I wouldn't have to go to work the next day. A new job resolved that round. But I took a super-stressful job when I turned 40. The depression kicked in hard and I was a wreck. It was ridiculously difficult to ask for help; when I tried to explain the problem to my doctor I just burst into tears. Doc instantly put me on Celexa and warned me of the adjustment period. I felt worse for the next 2-3 weeks than I had pre-diagnosis; I was too nervous to leave the house.
But once I felt normal again, I flatly refused to be stigmatized. My position was - and is - that nobody should be embarrassed about taking prescribed medication, whether insulin, transplant rejection drugs, or for depression. I was very open with my staff. People were not only very understanding; several came and shared their depression and PTSD histories with me!
Ten years later, I'd heard that sometimes taking antidepressants will kick-start your body into producing its own. I'd done so well for so long that my doctor agreed to wean me off the meds. That worked fine for a couple of years, but then I was back into the depression spiral. This time my new doctor required me to attend six weeks of group therapy in addition to the pills. I was MUCH less than thrilled -- but I went.
Walking into that room was the hardest thing I'd ever done. I still couldn't tell you why I was so afraid, other than it being the depression working on me. The sessions were all about giving us tools to recognize our downward spirals, and how to break out of them. I was a different person by the end of those six sessions. Now, I am OK with the fact that I'll be on this medicine forever, because I never want to feel that bad again.
Long post here but I wanted you to hear from someone who's lived it that you can and will be OK.
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Hang in there, Jojoguy! It does get better. Really.
I started getting depressive episodes in college which resolved quickly, so I didn't recognize the problem at the time. I got into a bad job situation in my 20s, and would literally wish to be hit by a car so I wouldn't have to go to work the next day. A new job resolved that round. But I took a super-stressful job when I turned 40. The depression kicked in hard and I was a wreck. It was ridiculously difficult to ask for help; when I tried to explain the problem to my doctor I just burst into tears. Doc instantly put me on Celexa and warned me of the adjustment period. I felt worse for the next 2-3 weeks than I had pre-diagnosis; I was too nervous to leave the house.
But once I felt normal again, I flatly refused to be stigmatized. My position was - and is - that nobody should be embarrassed about taking prescribed medication, whether insulin, transplant rejection drugs, or for depression. I was very open with my staff. People were not only very understanding; several came and shared their depression and PTSD histories with me!
Ten years later, I'd heard that sometimes taking antidepressants will kick-start your body into producing its own. I'd done so well for so long that my doctor agreed to wean me off the meds. That worked fine for a couple of years, but then I was back into the depression spiral. This time my new doctor required me to attend six weeks of group therapy in addition to the pills. I was MUCH less than thrilled -- but I went.
Walking into that room was the hardest thing I'd ever done. I still couldn't tell you why I was so afraid, other than it being the depression working on me. The sessions were all about giving us tools to recognize our downward spirals, and how to break out of them. I was a different person by the end of those six sessions. Now, I am OK with the fact that I'll be on this medicine forever, because I never want to feel that bad again.
Long post here but I wanted you to hear from someone who's lived it that you can and will be OK.
Things have been rough at work recently. I'm working a lot of hours. Just worked over three weeks straight before taking one day off. I'm on a two and a half week stretch right now. Mentally, it has still been on the rough side, but manageable so far. A new manager is visiting this week, and I hear he is not a nice guy. Really nervous about it. I get my psychological testing done on the 14th. I really want to get that and the followup over with. Thanks for the encouragement.
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Lifelong depression person here, but not diagnosed until early 30s. It is good that you have been able to start the treatment process. Medications, therapy and life choices (alcohol, sleep, exercise, diet) all interplay and need to be given consideration. I make a conscious choice on all of them. A few things to keep in mind as you move forward: just because some particular drug/therapy works for someone else, does not mean it will work for you. This is just the nature of the game. Make sure you have a good therapist and psychiatrist (if you elect meds) to manage things and provide you with reasonable expectations for effectiveness, side effects, and timespan of changes. Treat any source (book/blog/rando internet person) that presents any therapy as a silver bullet with serious skepticism.
That said, getting the diagnosis is a thing unto itself. All of a sudden there is a label and a framework for so much emotion/reaction/sensation. It is a lot to take in and give yourself time to get used to acknowledge that. There will be rough spots ahead, but getting help helps. Really.
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Where you are now is probably the toughest spot you'll be in. Right now you know there's a problem that needs to be solved, but you don't yet have a complete diagnosis or treatment plan. There are a lot of unknowns and that's understandably making you more anxious. The good news is that it will most likely only get better from here. Keep asking for help from your doctors and follow their advice and I'm sure you'll be feeling better soon.
I went through a similar situation with my then 9yo daughter several years ago. She had clinical anxiety and was beginning to have serious depression and suicidal ideation. Depression is a frequent result of untreated anxiety so you're certainly not alone in experiencing both. I suspected my daughter's mental health problems were being caused by untreated learning disabilities. Turned out I was correct, and that she also had ADD (which is just ADHD without the hyperactivity component).
Undiagnosed/untreated ADHD/learning disabilities/ASD/lots of other things frequently cause anxiety. I think the basic process is that the person with these neurological quirks knows on some level that they're not like other people, and that they have to work harder to meet expectations. Naturally, this makes them feel unsure of themselves and leads to clinical anxiety. So the path you've experienced is very, very common.
The good news is that anxiety is highly treatable with therapy. ADHD is also much more manageable with learned strategies/therapy and meds. There are therapists who specialize in helping people with ADHD, so when you're ready you could look for one.
You might want to ask your doctor if Strattera would be a good med for you. It a non-stimulant (aka in a different class from ritalin/adderal/etc) used to treat ADHD and it has a mild anti-anxiety effect. It can be a great option for people who can't tolerate the stimulants.
Oh, and the being able to focus on one thing for a long time is called hyperfocus. It's a classic marker of ADHD. Again, you're totally normal for experiencing that.
Keep putting one foot in front of the other and know that where you are now is probably the worst spot. Things will only get better from here.
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@LifeHappensNothing was prescribed as of yet. They want to do a thorough examination before prescribing anything else.
This is important and probably best if you see practitioners who specialize in the presumed diagnoses and can do the appropriate testing etc.
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The waiting part and the knowledge of this thing has been tough. It makes me feel vulnerable. It helps to talk about it. Hence, to why I am mentioning it on here. Most around me either don`t know or they are skeptical. Thank God for my wife! Even though she doesn`t know much about it, she is open for listening to me. She is helping me with my sanity. I am very thankful.
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'The noonday demon" by Solomon is a book that does a good job of telling the stories of people with anxiety/depression issues. I have found it both difficult to read because of what it reminds me of, and also compelling because the author so eloquently invokes and describes the experience of these conditions. I am part way through it now, and recommend it. The book is over a decade old at this point, and it should not be taken as any type of diagnosis/treatment book. More of a commiseration.
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Here's another great book which discusses ADD/ADHD in adults. https://www.amazon.com/Driven-Distraction-Revised-Recognizing-Attention-ebook/dp/B005GFII62
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Hi! You're not alone.
Anxiety and OCD here, some Depression in relation to those two as well.
No meds yet, I am exhausting every possible outlet before I go that route (history of addiction in my family), but I started talk therapy about a year ago. And I am currently saving money to have blood tests done in order to see if there's any OTC supplementation that can be done.
My biggest hurdle was how the two work together to completely blanket the REAL ME that's underneath the person incessantly checking the locks, driving back home to check the locks again, stepping back down the front steps 4x because the other three times didn't "feel right" etc. etc. and then becoming anxious because I couldn't get out of the loop and was about to be late for work.
THAT PERSON IS NOT ME. But it is... you know?
It came to a peak about a year ago and just the addition of talk therapy has been such a help. Also, for me, regardless of my schedule, exercise is a necessity. Even if it's 10 minutes of slow yoga before bed. If I do not exercise for several days in a row I can feel my mood just utterly tank. If I stop and do ten jumping jacks I earn a notable .25 in mood points...it's like a video game. Exercise is a big one for me.
All of that rambling being said, hang in there (insert 'Hang in there' kitten poster). It does take time and there are a few small things you can do during the wait time. But true, the wait time is the worst!
* I am currently on a wait after cancelling my talk therapy for next week to save some money. Will be back the week of April 15th, but waiting until then seems like it might as well be 28 years from now.
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And I am currently saving money to have blood tests done in order to see if there's any OTC supplementation that can be done.
Depending on what you want to have tested, you might look into getting lab orders for your blood draws online. There are a couple companies that offer this in the US. It can be quite a bit cheaper than going through you PCP's office if you know what you want done and how to interpret the results.
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OP- Try to think positive about this. At least now you know there is a reason for how you feel, and you can take corrective action. I have taken medication for years but only recently have started some counseling. I would say to try both together. Exercise and meditation do help greatly also. Also, I know this sounds like kind of a different topic, but are you male? Are you 35+? I would have blood drawn. Men have hormonal changes, which can lead to ADHD, anxiety, and depression.
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Does anyone else think it's ironic that you realize you need help but because of your depression/anxiety you can't bring yourself to get help? I just keep trudging through each day.
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Does anyone else think it's ironic that you realize you need help but because of your depression/anxiety you can't bring yourself to get help? I just keep trudging through each day.
It's the nature of the beast. Rather like a sick joke, in many respects. If you CAN boost yourself to a therapist (you might even enlist a friend or loved one to find a therapist, book and appointment, and TAKE you to it), I highly recommend trying someone who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy.
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Does anyone else think it's ironic that you realize you need help but because of your depression/anxiety you can't bring yourself to get help? I just keep trudging through each day.
What kind of help do you need? Somebody to talk to? A diagnosis? A prescription? An improvement in your life situation? Help finding a therapist?
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Does anyone else think it's ironic that you realize you need help but because of your depression/anxiety you can't bring yourself to get help? I just keep trudging through each day.
It feels so terrible. I finally got to a breaking point to seek help. It was almost a spur of the moment. I drove my wife to work and had the sudden thought to see my doctor. I came so close to changing my mind, but I'm glad I didn't. Self doubt is so terrible in our situation. I still have it. "Is something really wrong with me or am I imagining things?" Is the constant thought that goes through my mind, and it just depresses me even more.
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Does anyone else think it's ironic that you realize you need help but because of your depression/anxiety you can't bring yourself to get help? I just keep trudging through each day.
What kind of help do you need? Somebody to talk to? A diagnosis? A prescription? An improvement in your life situation? Help finding a therapist?
I can't bring myself to make an appointment. One of my issues is I don't like initiating phone calls so that makes a lot of things a challenge. lol The medication I'm on now isn't helping as much as I think it should but of course to try something else I need to see a psychiatrist.
I don't have much faith or trust in psychiatrists or therapists. When I first started seeing a psychiatrist I was more or less assigned to a doctor. All seemed fine until one evening I went to my appointment with one of the therapists that worked in his office. I had talked to her before but this appointment was different. I was sitting across from her at her desk and as I was talking she was busy with her computer. It was dark out so the window behind her reflected the computer screen. She was playing solitaire. I didn't say anything, I just decided I wouldn't see her anymore but continue my visits with the doctor. At my next appointment with him we sat in his dimly lit office. I sat in a chair facing him with a TV over my head. He was watching the news or something with the volume so loud I could hardly hear anything else. I told my family doctor what happened and he referred me to another doctor. When I met him the first thing he said is he would not discuss what happened at my previous psychiatrist's office. I didn't plan on bringing it up but his reaction kind of bothered me. To make matters worse the therapist from the previous doctor's office also worked in the new doctor's office. Actually I was told she worked in all the psychiatrist offices in the area, although I never came into contact with her other than seeing her in passing at the office. This happened almost 13 years ago, I stopped seeing the second psychiatrist almost 7 years ago. Our appointments were mostly discussing the chemistry of various anti-depressants and since I don't understand chemistry nor do I care I stopped going. I'm going to say I am partially to blame because I didn't open up like I probably should have.
So now that I've shared TMI that's where I'm at. Like most things in my life there's always some sort of road block to navigate around and I just can't seem to bring myself to do it.
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Does anyone else think it's ironic that you realize you need help but because of your depression/anxiety you can't bring yourself to get help? I just keep trudging through each day.
What kind of help do you need? Somebody to talk to? A diagnosis? A prescription? An improvement in your life situation? Help finding a therapist?
I can't bring myself to make an appointment. One of my issues is I don't like initiating phone calls so that makes a lot of things a challenge. lol The medication I'm on now isn't helping as much as I think it should but of course to try something else I need to see a psychiatrist.
I don't have much faith or trust in psychiatrists or therapists. When I first started seeing a psychiatrist I was more or less assigned to a doctor. All seemed fine until one evening I went to my appointment with one of the therapists that worked in his office. I had talked to her before but this appointment was different. I was sitting across from her at her desk and as I was talking she was busy with her computer. It was dark out so the window behind her reflected the computer screen. She was playing solitaire. I didn't say anything, I just decided I wouldn't see her anymore but continue my visits with the doctor. At my next appointment with him we sat in his dimly lit office. I sat in a chair facing him with a TV over my head. He was watching the news or something with the volume so loud I could hardly hear anything else. I told my family doctor what happened and he referred me to another doctor. When I met him the first thing he said is he would not discuss what happened at my previous psychiatrist's office. I didn't plan on bringing it up but his reaction kind of bothered me. To make matters worse the therapist from the previous doctor's office also worked in the new doctor's office. Actually I was told she worked in all the psychiatrist offices in the area, although I never came into contact with her other than seeing her in passing at the office. This happened almost 13 years ago, I stopped seeing the second psychiatrist almost 7 years ago. Our appointments were mostly discussing the chemistry of various anti-depressants and since I don't understand chemistry nor do I care I stopped going. I'm going to say I am partially to blame because I didn't open up like I probably should have.
So now that I've shared TMI that's where I'm at. Like most things in my life there's always some sort of road block to navigate around and I just can't seem to bring myself to do it.
Oh man, that's so disrespectful! Especially the doctor with the TV. The solitaire therapist might actually have ADD herself, but all the same the right thing to do would be to explain to you that it was how she kept her focus. But both of them were very unprofessional and a waste of your time.
I just looked it up to be sure (it's confusing),
Psychiatrist: "A medical doctor with special training in the diagnosis and treatment of mental and emotional illnesses. A psychiatrist can prescribe medication, but they often do not counsel patients " so that explains why your psychiatrist only talked chemistry to you. From http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/types-mental-health-professionals
It seems to me that you need a couple of visits with a psychiatrist to fix your meds, but then ongoing visits with a GOOD counselor to talk out issues. Or maybe a support group too. I'm not sure which you should try first, maybe it doesn't matter.
It's okay to have taken a break from doctors, no need to feel self-conscious. I myself have seen a therapist a few times in my life to talk out things that were upsetting me and keeping me from functioning, then when the issues resolved, I could stop going. Patients come, patients go.
As for finding new doctors, maybe start here? Surely after 7 years there may be new practitioners in your area. Doctors come, doctors go. If you find a support group, you might get tips on good doctors to see. http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/im-looking-mental-health-help-myself
You may not have to call these days, just send an email.
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One of my issues is I don't like initiating phone calls so that makes a lot of things a challenge.
Oh, man! That is me! I am terrified of initiating phone calls.
I am having a somewhat bad time today. My direct boss is very abrasive and I really don`t like(avoidance type of fear) to communicate with her even if I try. I asked the main boss where I work if I could leave(already a long day) and he said, yes and I wouldn`t get into trouble. I am trying to open up to her(direct boss) a little more about my anxiety. I plan on apologizing to her tomorrow for not telling her that I was leaving. It just felt soooo hard to do. I really hate feeling so timid or afraid of doing even simple things.
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Got my psychological testing this Monday. Nervous but ready to get it over with.
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Got my psychological testing this Monday. Nervous but ready to get it over with.
Good luck and good on you for being proactive. Keep it up.
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I hope today goes/went well. As a side note, people dealing with depression probably shouldn't do their own taxes. lol I still have a few hours. :)
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Just wishing you well and cheering you on.
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Someone mentioned exercise having such a positive influence and I have noticed that too, with myself and others. Nutrition also plays an important role.
Exercise, a healthy diet, herbal teas, and meditation are all things that are natural and you can do on your own. I'm not saying that's enough for everyone, but those are good things to consider, especially if you haven't had good results with doctors or meds.
I've also found pets can help cheer me up. Art & music are also positive therapies for some people. I think they help take your mind off of your problems, which is often a big hurdle. Our brains are so complex, and sometimes we just need something to help us move past the vegative habits & loops that can become dominant. (Only speaking from personal experience, and self mental exploration, which I find very interesting. The brain is really amazing.)
(I'm not trying to imply that doc's & meds aren't important & necessary for a lot of people.)
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Someone mentioned exercise having such a positive influence and I have noticed that too, with myself and others. Nutrition also plays an important role.
Exercise, a healthy diet, herbal teas, and meditation are all things that are natural and you can do on your own. I'm not saying that's enough for everyone, but those are good things to consider, especially if you haven't had good results with doctors or meds.
I've also found pets can help cheer me up. Art & music are also positive therapies for some people. I think they help take your mind off of your problems, which is often a big hurdle. Our brains are so complex, and sometimes we just need something to help us move past the vegative habits & loops that can become dominant. (Only speaking from personal experience, and self mental exploration, which I find very interesting. The brain is really amazing.)
(I'm not trying to imply that doc's & meds aren't important & necessary for a lot of people.)
I'm of the "all of the above" approach. Mental health is simply too important in life not to make it a priority. Making it a priority is, ironically, one of the toughest things to do when down, though. Having a support network to get you to a doctor, or outside for a walk, or whatever really helps. Making building that network a priority really helps, but again is tough to do and takes time.
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Update:
The psychological testing although fun, really felt like a waste of time. I feel like everything went well, but I worry about misdiagnosis coming out from it. I felt confident during the testing, unlike how I am in real-life situations.
I have to go back in two weeks for results and then get back to a psychiatrist for whatever treatment offered. I really want to get started with treatment soon. I fell into deep depression yesterday, and I am tired of going through that.
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What made you feel like you might get a misdiagnosis?
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Update:
The psychological testing although fun, really felt like a waste of time. I feel like everything went well, but I worry about misdiagnosis coming out from it. I felt confident during the testing, unlike how I am in real-life situations.
I have to go back in two weeks for results and then get back to a psychiatrist for whatever treatment offered. I really want to get started with treatment soon. I fell into deep depression yesterday, and I am tired of going through that.
Honestly all of your worry about diagnosis and treatment sounds like it's caused by the disease itself.
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What made you feel like you might get a misdiagnosis?
The testing felt easy and I feel I did extremely well. Well, outside of the math anyway. It felt more like an intellectual test more than anything.
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Update:
The psychological testing although fun, really felt like a waste of time. I feel like everything went well, but I worry about misdiagnosis coming out from it. I felt confident during the testing, unlike how I am in real-life situations.
I have to go back in two weeks for results and then get back to a psychiatrist for whatever treatment offered. I really want to get started with treatment soon. I fell into deep depression yesterday, and I am tired of going through that.
Honestly all of your worry about diagnosis and treatment sounds like it's caused by the disease itself.
You may be right.
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What made you feel like you might get a misdiagnosis?
The testing felt easy and I feel I did extremely well. Well, outside of the math anyway. It felt more like an intellectual test more than anything.
If you got a full neuropsych eval it is possible that an IQ test was part of it.
There are some really interesting ways in which our types of intelligence may factor into anxiety (and I would guess depression too). In general, higher IQs correlate with more anxiety. The theory is that worry and intelligence are sort of an evolutionary pairing.
Specifically, if there are large gaps in your IQ subscores, and especially gaps between audio or visual memory/processing speeds and fluid reasoning it can actually manifest in anxiety.
It can be very helpful to know if you have large gaps in your scores. Just as an example, my older son (7) has a large point different between his highest scores and his lowest score. His lowest score is actually related to audio memory, and he tends to panic when given verbal instructions too quickly. Now that we know we slow down instructions/requests or sometimes even just give him written reminders.
NueroPsych testing shouldn't necessarily be taken as gospel (especially if you feel in your gut that it is wrong), but it can also give you some pretty good insight into yourself and how you process things.
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What made you feel like you might get a misdiagnosis?
The testing felt easy and I feel I did extremely well. Well, outside of the math anyway. It felt more like an intellectual test more than anything.
I mean, it's not the SAT or anything. They're testing for a lot more than raw intelligence and they're not looking at academic skills at all.
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What made you feel like you might get a misdiagnosis?
The testing felt easy and I feel I did extremely well. Well, outside of the math anyway. It felt more like an intellectual test more than anything.
If you got a full neuropsych eval it is possible that an IQ test was part of it.
There are some really interesting ways in which our types of intelligence may factor into anxiety (and I would guess depression too). In general, higher IQs correlate with more anxiety. The theory is that worry and intelligence are sort of an evolutionary pairing.
Specifically, if there are large gaps in your IQ subscores, and especially gaps between audio or visual memory/processing speeds and fluid reasoning it can actually manifest in anxiety.
It can be very helpful to know if you have large gaps in your scores. Just as an example, my older son (7) has a large point different between his highest scores and his lowest score. His lowest score is actually related to audio memory, and he tends to panic when given verbal instructions too quickly. Now that we know we slow down instructions/requests or sometimes even just give him written reminders.
NueroPsych testing shouldn't necessarily be taken as gospel (especially if you feel in your gut that it is wrong), but it can also give you some pretty good insight into yourself and how you process things.
Interesting. I did hear ahead of time that IQ testing was part of it. I never knew that there is a correlation with higher IQ and higher anxiety. I guess that does inflate my ego and puts me down a bit at the same time. LOL
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Maybe they gave you the easy version to see what you're like when you are feeling good about yourself. <wink>
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Maybe they gave you the easy version to see what you're like when you are feeling good about yourself. <wink>
Hehehe Maybe. However, I can see a lot of people struggling with a lot of the questions. Math is my weakest point. Especially fractions. Pretty sure I flunked on those. I think I did fine with the word problems asked though.
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Maybe they gave you the easy version to see what you're like when you are feeling good about yourself. <wink>
Hehehe Maybe. However, I can see a lot of people struggling with a lot of the questions. Math is my weakest point. Especially fractions. Pretty sure I flunked on those. I think I did fine with the word problems asked though.
Nobody likes a know-it-all anyway, right?
Thumbs up for seeking help. I struggled with depression (or?) for a few years & probably should have looked for help, but I was too (proud, nervous, or stupid...) to see anybody about it.
Wouldn't it be great if they prescribe a math class and less social meadia. ;)
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Maybe they gave you the easy version to see what you're like when you are feeling good about yourself. <wink>
Hehehe Maybe. However, I can see a lot of people struggling with a lot of the questions. Math is my weakest point. Especially fractions. Pretty sure I flunked on those. I think I did fine with the word problems asked though.
Nobody likes a know-it-all anyway, right?
Thumbs up for seeking help. I struggled with depression (or?) for a few years & probably should have looked for help, but I was too (proud, nervous, or stupid...) to see anybody about it.
Wouldn't it be great if they prescribe a math class and less social meadia. ;)
Oh, how I really loathe the social media drama. I ONLY keep facebook to keep in contact with old friends/family and when I travel to give updates and pictures.
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I stopped taking my welbutrin. I didn't feel that it was working and was actually increasing my anxiety. Three days later and I'm really light-headed and it feels like the flood gates have been opened in regards to my adhd. Simple things feel slow and difficult and my mind is racing in different directions. It is strange that the drug did nothing for me in regards to helping me with my adhd, but not taking it increased the overwhelmingness of it. My anxiety is better though, but I don't feel good about everything else. I really want things to get better. I want to get proper treatment. Hopefully it begins on Monday.
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You can't just stop taking Wellbutrin cold turkey. There is a tapering protocol you need to follow. Please, please, please consult a physician or psychiatrist about this.
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You can't just stop taking Wellbutrin cold turkey. There is a tapering protocol you need to follow. Please, please, please consult a physician or psychiatrist about this.
I have. They have yet to respond. I'm just kind of surprised it has effected me this way. I feel more of an effect not taking it in contrast with taking it. Oh, boy am I going to be reluctant for the next meds to take. I really want to take a nap when I get home.
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You can't just stop taking Wellbutrin cold turkey. There is a tapering protocol you need to follow. Please, please, please consult a physician or psychiatrist about this.
I have. They have yet to respond. I'm just kind of surprised it has effected me this way. I feel more of an effect not taking it in contrast with taking it. Oh, boy am I going to be reluctant for the next meds to take.
I get that you are already off it, but in the future, please don't stop cold turkey again. Please please wait to actually talk to your physician/psychiatrist to get the protocol before you decide to stop. I know someone who had to be admitted to a psychiatric hospital and was on suicide watch for weeks as a result of stopping that drug cold turkey. It was... not good. For a long time.
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You can't just stop taking Wellbutrin cold turkey. There is a tapering protocol you need to follow. Please, please, please consult a physician or psychiatrist about this.
I have. They have yet to respond. I'm just kind of surprised it has effected me this way. I feel more of an effect not taking it in contrast with taking it. Oh, boy am I going to be reluctant for the next meds to take. I really want to take a nap when I get home.
One of the great paradoxes of psych meds is that they, at best, just get you feeling closer to normal. Once normal, people wonder why they need to be taking the meds. The ramp up phase can be weird (I had a few days of really weird electric tingly feelings all over). The ramp down is just the same, but different. The simple fact is that they work by tweaking your brain chemistry, including an adjustment period while your brain adapts to the new chemistry. Sudden changes can be tweaky, for lack of a better term. If I miss a dose for a day I can feel the effect. I'll second that starting stopping should be done with supervision or a taper period at the absolute minimum.
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Doing better today guys. I am taking half for a couple of days and will continue tapering off by going quarters. Got some good news about work tonight. So, I'm in a great mood.
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I had an appointment with my family Dr. Monday and I asked him for the information of the psychiatrist he had suggested in the past. Even though I dread making phone calls I called and got the VM. lol So now I'm going to play phone tag. It just never seems to go smoothly.
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I had an appointment with my family Dr. Monday and I asked him for the information of the psychiatrist he had suggested in the past. Even though I dread making phone calls I called and got the VM. lol So now I'm going to play phone tag. It just never seems to go smoothly.
Nice work on making that first call.
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Doing better today guys. I am taking half for a couple of days and will continue tapering off by going quarters. Got some good news about work tonight. So, I'm in a great mood.
Glad to hear that on all fronts.
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I have two appointments on Monday. The testing results is the first one with a psychologist. The second one is with the psychiatrist fourty-five minutes later. I am really hoping that I can get proper therapy and yes, meds. There are so many things I have been wanting to do, but truly have been unable to do. I want to be handy around the house, learn a new work skill or skills, spend time actually doing things fun with my family, etc. etc. I am really excited. At the same time, I am nervous. What if they don`t think I have ADD? If that happens I will feel like I am starting over from square one. I have been obsessing over this for two months and hoping to get help. After much reading and much thought, I can`t see any other diagnosis. Oh man, this is scaring me.
I am reminded of something from my past. I was in college going for a nursing degree and froze up in the first semester. I had trouble with terrible procrastination when it came to studying and namely, pharmacology. I didn`t learn pharmacology until the last minute. I made a B on the final and it wasn`t enough to grant me another opportnunity to repeat the semester. I was crushed. I remembered something recently that somebody said while I was there. "Did you know that 75% of the class is on Adderall?" Honestly, I didn`t know what it was at the time. I was a skeptic of the existence of ADHD. I didn`t think anything of it at the time, but now I realize that I may have been the one who actually truly needed it. Most of those other students were apparently illegally taking the drug for the advantage, and I was the one who may have actually needed it. Thinking about this puts me into depression. What if I had been diagnosed 10 years ago? Guys, I need words of encouragement and your prayers. You guys are awesome to me and I think you for all your kind words.
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I can relate to a lot of what you're saying. There's been a couple times I've had a smile on my face because what you say hits so close to home. You know you're on the right path, unfortunately it will still take some time but in the end it will be worth it.
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Best of luck for your results, @jojoguy. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you that you get an accurate diagnosis and effective treatment plan.
And please persist with getting an appointment @ThatGuy. I know it's hard making those calls, but you deserve to feel better.
My background is a period of GAD 6 or so years ago that was triggered by a terrible job. 18 months of an SSRI (and quitting the job) sorted me out, but a recent peak in stress and a challenging work situation has sent me back into an anxiety spiral. I'm currently waiting for an appt with my GP to get back onto the SSRI for a couple of months until my stressful situation is resolved (starting a new job, moving to a new region, friends all being made redundant etc etc...)
There are so many of us dealing with this type of stuff. You are not alone.
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Good luck to all of you. I know it's hard, but you have to have confidence in yourself & stay positive. Know that you are good and deserve a good future. Life will get better & the sun will shine again. Be strong for yourselves & those that love and are depending on you. So much of life is a matter of perspective, search for the beauty and wonderful things that surround you. Remember it's always there, even when you can only see darkness.
Peace,
GE
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Good luck with your appointments today. Odds are that the diagnosis won't be a perfect overlap with your expectations... and that is okay. Lots of diagnoses have overlapping symptom sets.
One question I have found really useful in dealing with various drugs and therapies has been, "what is a realistic expectation for ______?" This includes effectiveness, timeframe over which change will ramp up/down, and potential side effects. YMMV.
Regardless, good on you for powering through this. I think many on this thread relate pretty strongly to a lot of the experiences you are expressing. I've had anxiety and depression impact my academic career (and post-academic career) at various times. I've also had broken bones do that. :)
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Thanks again guys! I have an update. I have officially been diagnosed with Inattentive ADHD along side anxiety and depression. However, the doctor believes that the other parts came along because of having adhd over the years. I seemed to have developed a pattern of avoidance of certain situations(She didn`t really have to even tell me :P). When confronted with these situations I have always gotten horrible anxiety. Just took my first med this morning(Tuesday) over 30 minutes ago. I`m not sure what to expect. I go to work in a little while. Hopefully, things will go well. Wish and pray that I am well.
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That sounds like a good step forward for you, and seems like a sensible diagnosis. I hope the meds work well for you. Did your Dr indicate how long before you should see some benefits of the drug?
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That sounds like a good step forward for you, and seems like a sensible diagnosis. I hope the meds work well for you. Did your Dr indicate how long before you should see some benefits of the drug?
Ha! I was just about to edit my post above about the drug. I took Adderall for the first time a little over an hour and 15 minutes ago. I have been feeling the effects for about 30 minutes. So far, I am liking it. I feel very very calm and clear headed. I have been randomly picking up a few things around the house randomly as I walk through. I never did stuff like that and it didn`t feel like a chore or even really a compulsion. It was more like an "It was there and I might as well" situation. I go to work in a little while and actually look forward to going.
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Wow! that is a pretty amazing impact. Enjoy your day!
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Glad to hear you got an appropriate med for your diagnosis. Be aware you will feel the opposite effects when the drug wears off at the end of the day. It may be a little overwhelming for a while, but you'll eventually get used to the daily transitions.
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Glad to hear you got an appropriate med for your diagnosis. Be aware you will feel the opposite effects when the drug wears off at the end of the day. It may be a little overwhelming for a while, but you'll eventually get used to the daily transitions.
This definitely happened today. They didn`t prescribe the extended release kind. I already contacted the psychiatrist this late afternoon about it. She said I can take twice a day now and wrote me a new prescription to make them last through my next appointment at the end of May.
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Where's the "Thumbs Up" button?
Happy for you. :)
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Where's the "Thumbs Up" button?
Happy for you. :)
Thank you so much!
I`m asking my doctor for extended release Adderall now instead of taking twice a day. I`d rather have a steady feeling of calmness all day instead of a slow drop off into confusion and fatigue. I did get a lot accomplished at my job yesterday though. I am looking forward to going to work today.
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Jumping in after years of silence on these forums - I am a depression sufferer, I take an SSRI and a Ritalin derivative, but the latter is for my mood and not for ADHD per se.
I actually find that coming on these message boards helps me feel so hopeful. Realizing I don't have to spend my life aching to own the next thing, worrying about how much work I have (or don't have), thinking more about the process of my life rather than what I'm going to squeeze out of it financially speaking - if that all makes sense.
MMM Is Therapeutic!!
Now I have a LOT of work to do to get back into MMM-ness.
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I had an appointment with my family Dr. Monday and I asked him for the information of the psychiatrist he had suggested in the past. Even though I dread making phone calls I called and got the VM. lol So now I'm going to play phone tag. It just never seems to go smoothly.
Nice work on making that first call.
Hey @ThatGuy, how did it go? Did you get to make the appointment?
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I have some good news and some bad news. I gave up trying to make an appointment with the office my family doctor suggested. I went through the list of psychiatrists that my insurance provider has listed that are in network. I actually found the same doctor that I was trying to make an appointment with works in another office a couple of days a week. I called and actually talked to a real person! I made an appointment...for July 22. This is going to be a long two and a half months and that's just getting to the starting point! lol But at least I have an appointment scheduled.
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I have some good news and some bad news. I gave up trying to make an appointment with the office my family doctor suggested. I went through the list of psychiatrists that my insurance provider has listed that are in network. I actually found the same doctor that I was trying to make an appointment with works in another office a couple of days a week. I called and actually talked to a real person! I made an appointment...for July 22. This is going to be a long two and a half months and that's just getting to the starting point! lol But at least I have an appointment scheduled.
Great job taking that first step!
One thing that I find helps when a doctor's appointment is such a long time off, is I call back and ask if I can also be on the waiting list. People cancel appointments all the time and often I can get something a lot sooner.
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They put me on the waiting list so we'll see if I get bumped up.
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They put me on the waiting list so we'll see if I get bumped up.
Ugh! The wait is horrible. Hopefully things will be quick for you.
Update:
Things haven't been good this past week. My medication went from working some to not working at all. With exception being having a caffiene-like effect. The added focus is pretty much gone. Multitasking at work has been a mess. I have energy but my mind rases in multiple directions instead of just focusing at one thing at a time. In a way it feels like the meds have pushed an acceleration pedal on my mind racing in different directions. I guess so far adderall isn't the right one. Which is a pity because the first few days it felt to be the right direction.
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They put me on the waiting list so we'll see if I get bumped up.
Ugh! The wait is horrible. Hopefully things will be quick for you.
Update:
Things haven't been good this past week. My medication went from working some to not working at all. With exception being having a caffiene-like effect. The added focus is pretty much gone. Multitasking at work has been a mess. I have energy but my mind rases in multiple directions instead of just focusing at one thing at a time. In a way it feels like the meds have pushed an acceleration pedal on my mind racing in different directions. I guess so far adderall isn't the right one. Which is a pity because the first few days it felt to be the right direction.
It took me about 2 years and trying lots of different meds and cocktails to get the right medicine for my Tourette's that suppressed symptoms without intolerable side effects. Most of the psych meds have a curve where the effect changes over a period of about 6 weeks. You have to try a med for 2 months and then revisit with the doctor to change meds/doses whatever. It can be a process.
I recommend asking about Flouxetine (Used to go by tradename Prosac). It was the most widely used medication of the 20th century and remains in the top 5 after all these years. It is a poster child for the FDAs "safe and effective" mandate. I tried a lot of drugs and kept asking the doc to try Flouxetine again and pair it with something for the side effects. I now take 20mg of Fluoxetine a day and 1mg of Pimozide. Life has been a ton better for over a decade. Note that Flouxetine is one of the drugs that takes 6 weeks to build up in your system and have the desired effect. You'll notice no change the first couple weeks and then it will build.
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They put me on the waiting list so we'll see if I get bumped up.
Ugh! The wait is horrible. Hopefully things will be quick for you.
Update:
Things haven't been good this past week. My medication went from working some to not working at all. With exception being having a caffiene-like effect. The added focus is pretty much gone. Multitasking at work has been a mess. I have energy but my mind rases in multiple directions instead of just focusing at one thing at a time. In a way it feels like the meds have pushed an acceleration pedal on my mind racing in different directions. I guess so far adderall isn't the right one. Which is a pity because the first few days it felt to be the right direction.
I can't tell you how sorry I am to hear this.
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They put me on the waiting list so we'll see if I get bumped up.
Ugh! The wait is horrible. Hopefully things will be quick for you.
Update:
Things haven't been good this past week. My medication went from working some to not working at all. With exception being having a caffiene-like effect. The added focus is pretty much gone. Multitasking at work has been a mess. I have energy but my mind rases in multiple directions instead of just focusing at one thing at a time. In a way it feels like the meds have pushed an acceleration pedal on my mind racing in different directions. I guess so far adderall isn't the right one. Which is a pity because the first few days it felt to be the right direction.
I can't tell you how sorry I am to hear this.
I`m alright overall though. Staying positive. Everything will work out.
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They put me on the waiting list so we'll see if I get bumped up.
Ugh! The wait is horrible. Hopefully things will be quick for you.
Update:
Things haven't been good this past week. My medication went from working some to not working at all. With exception being having a caffiene-like effect. The added focus is pretty much gone. Multitasking at work has been a mess. I have energy but my mind rases in multiple directions instead of just focusing at one thing at a time. In a way it feels like the meds have pushed an acceleration pedal on my mind racing in different directions. I guess so far adderall isn't the right one. Which is a pity because the first few days it felt to be the right direction.
I can't tell you how sorry I am to hear this.
I`m alright overall though. Staying positive. Everything will work out.
That's good to hear. It might take a little bit to figure out exactly what works, so don't get discouraged if any one thing isn't right for you.
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They put me on the waiting list so we'll see if I get bumped up.
Ugh! The wait is horrible. Hopefully things will be quick for you.
Update:
Things haven't been good this past week. My medication went from working some to not working at all. With exception being having a caffiene-like effect. The added focus is pretty much gone. Multitasking at work has been a mess. I have energy but my mind rases in multiple directions instead of just focusing at one thing at a time. In a way it feels like the meds have pushed an acceleration pedal on my mind racing in different directions. I guess so far adderall isn't the right one. Which is a pity because the first few days it felt to be the right direction.
I can't tell you how sorry I am to hear this.
I`m alright overall though. Staying positive. Everything will work out.
Staying positive is the key. You've seen good days, and will again. It will just take a while to get things dialed in.
Keep notes on the process. Celebrate the good days and remember them when you have tough times.
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Today was the first time I have had an appointment set aside just for talking therapy. Honestly, it was a great experience. I was expecting to feel very uncomfortable, but it was the exact opposite. The 45 minute session flew by and I felt so much relief just talking about how I felt and getting much needed advice. I look forward to the next appointment. I never imagined that I would ever say that.
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Today was the first time I have had an appointment set aside just for talking therapy. Honestly, it was a great experience. I was expecting to feel very uncomfortable, but it was the exact opposite. The 45 minute session flew by and I felt so much relief just talking about how I felt and getting much needed advice. I look forward to the next appointment. I never imagined that I would ever say that.
+1!
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Today was the first time I have had an appointment set aside just for talking therapy. Honestly, it was a great experience. I was expecting to feel very uncomfortable, but it was the exact opposite. The 45 minute session flew by and I felt so much relief just talking about how I felt and getting much needed advice. I look forward to the next appointment. I never imagined that I would ever say that.
+1!
Great!
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So glad to hear you're seeing positive results from therapy. I echo other posters in saying to hang in with meds for a while to get your body & brain to adjust to them. When I first went on anti-depressants I felt worse for the first 2 weeks rather than better. Eventually, the meds reached the right levels in my system and I just felt... normal.
Give yourself time!
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So glad to hear you're seeing positive results from therapy. I echo other posters in saying to hang in with meds for a while to get your body & brain to adjust to them. When I first went on anti-depressants I felt worse for the first 2 weeks rather than better. Eventually, the meds reached the right levels in my system and I just felt... normal.
Give yourself time!
It is not the antidepressants. I`m actually on very little dosage of welbutrin for anxiety. I am taking Adderall(15mg) and was recommended by the doctor now to take twice a day. I still felt eh. I am now taking just once but 30mg a day. It is better with energy, but I still feel like it is under where I need to be. The focus is not that much. It just feels like I have a ton of energy. It is very good in that regard. Energy is not my complaint. I want to have motivation and that energy to accompany it. I still feel better though than before. Baby steps....
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Alright a huge update:
I was prescribed a month ago Generic Adderall 30mg for twice a day. Honestly, this is the best I have ever felt day to day in a long time or ever! The depression is GONE. I only feel depressed if there is something immediate or if something bothers me in general. I have virtually no chronic depression. I weaned off of Welbutrin because of that to test it out. Yep, it is gone. I`m in a constant positive and good mood. I am also surprised how much I enjoy 1 on 1 therapy.
I am concerned about my early teenage son though. I can tell father like son in him. He has a few problems that I always had. He also is somewhat of a hypochondriac. I would like to get him diagnosed, but I really don`t want to get him on any type of medication yet because of his age and growing brain. His possible mood disorder hasn`t done much to interfere with most of his life either with the exception of worrying about things a little too much. His grades are good/great as well. I am interested in getting him into therapy though.
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Hey JojoGuy,
Sorry about your current situation. In 2012 I had an employer insist I get tested, and it turned out I had trauma-induced ADD, which is apparently becoming common among veterans.
It was fairly disheartening, but I'm living my life.
While I don't have that job anymore (for u9nrelated reasons), my income is about 2x what it was 7 years ago, and we are doing alright.
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Alright a huge update:
I was prescribed a month ago Generic Adderall 30mg for twice a day. Honestly, this is the best I have ever felt day to day in a long time or ever! The depression is GONE. I only feel depressed if there is something immediate or if something bothers me in general. I have virtually no chronic depression. I weaned off of Welbutrin because of that to test it out. Yep, it is gone. I`m in a constant positive and good mood. I am also surprised how much I enjoy 1 on 1 therapy.
I am concerned about my early teenage son though. I can tell father like son in him. He has a few problems that I always had. He also is somewhat of a hypochondriac. I would like to get him diagnosed, but I really don`t want to get him on any type of medication yet because of his age and growing brain. His possible mood disorder hasn`t done much to interfere with most of his life either with the exception of worrying about things a little too much. His grades are good/great as well. I am interested in getting him into therapy though.
That is really great to hear!
Your son is blessed to have you as a good example of a parent who is not embarrassed to seek help, and who encourages him to take help when available.
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Alright a huge update:
I was prescribed a month ago Generic Adderall 30mg for twice a day. Honestly, this is the best I have ever felt day to day in a long time or ever! The depression is GONE. I only feel depressed if there is something immediate or if something bothers me in general. I have virtually no chronic depression. I weaned off of Welbutrin because of that to test it out. Yep, it is gone. I`m in a constant positive and good mood. I am also surprised how much I enjoy 1 on 1 therapy.
I am concerned about my early teenage son though. I can tell father like son in him. He has a few problems that I always had. He also is somewhat of a hypochondriac. I would like to get him diagnosed, but I really don`t want to get him on any type of medication yet because of his age and growing brain. His possible mood disorder hasn`t done much to interfere with most of his life either with the exception of worrying about things a little too much. His grades are good/great as well. I am interested in getting him into therapy though.
That is really great to hear!
Your son is blessed to have you as a good example of a parent who is not embarrassed to seek help, and who encourages him to take help when available.
+1. Great news! And also good that you are looking out for, and setting an example for your son.
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What a fantastic update! Thank you for sharing. I wish you a continued happy state of mind.
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Glad to hear your good news. Congats!
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Thank you for your awesome update!
A note on kids and therapy - if you do decide to go that route, you might not notice it helping at first. But I've heard anecdotally from several people (including professionals) that it will often seem like younger teens are not getting anything from it, only to put the skills they learn to use as they get through high school, college, and young adult hood. It is great to equip them with tools to handle it when they are young apparently :)
You, also sound like a great parent.
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Thanks for sharing the good news. I'm very happy that you and your doctor found the solution!
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We took suggestions from this discussions and those from a local friend and have taken Kiddo #2 to therapy for the first time recently.
We'll be trying a second therapist at the same practice as the first wasn't a good fit.
Kiddo#2 has some anxiety and mild depression issues to sort out. Not sure what is the typical teenager brain and what is a real problem that needs to be sorted.
Just as these problems became evident earlier this year we went through a bunch of changes at home (address, different school) and we really worried alot about them.
I think it'll all be okay.
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We took suggestions from this discussions and those from a local friend and have taken Kiddo #2 to therapy for the first time recently.
We'll be trying a second therapist at the same practice as the first wasn't a good fit.
Kiddo#2 has some anxiety and mild depression issues to sort out. Not sure what is the typical teenager brain and what is a real problem that needs to be sorted.
Just as these problems became evident earlier this year we went through a bunch of changes at home (address, different school) and we really worried alot about them.
I think it'll all be okay.
It should be.
Just be weary of anti-depressants for your child. I have an update why. When I was on anti-dep drugs it just made me feel odd, uncaring, and still depressed or even worse. However, Adderall being a stimulant has had the opposite effect. Not only did it give me focus, but honestly, it "cured" my anxiety and depression. I do still get mad or even sad, but it is based on the actual situations and not a chronic thing. It didn`t change my personality either as a whole. The only noticeable thing that changed about me is now people look at me as being optimistic and upbeat all the time now. It is because now I am actually in a good mood most of the time.
I have felt sad the past couple of weeks about something specific. There was a disgruntled employee, who was justifiably fired, that shot and killed two people at another store that I am associated with. Didn`t really know the people involved, but this same thing could have happened where I work. This actually did make national news, but it was quickly overshadowed by the murders in El Paso and Dayton.
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Oh my goodness, that is terrifying. I'm so glad you are safe.
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Sorry to hear about your work incident, @jojoguy Sounds terrifying.
I also want to thank you for sharing your experience here. You've given me the kick that I need to actually DO something about my own mental health. I definitely have seasonal depression, and I've been suspecting inattentive ADD for a year or two now. I've had the phone number for the psychology group sitting on a post-it next to my phone ever since my primary care doctor referred me there last fall (unfortunately, I don't think I'll be seeing a psychiatrist--my area has very, very few). Today, after scrolling through this thread, I finally made the call to set up an appointment.
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Sorry to hear about your work incident, @jojoguy Sounds terrifying.
I also want to thank you for sharing your experience here. You've given me the kick that I need to actually DO something about my own mental health. I definitely have seasonal depression, and I've been suspecting inattentive ADD for a year or two now. I've had the phone number for the psychology group sitting on a post-it next to my phone ever since my primary care doctor referred me there last fall (unfortunately, I don't think I'll be seeing a psychiatrist--my area has very, very few). Today, after scrolling through this thread, I finally made the call to set up an appointment.
The disgruntled employee incident is scary and disturbing.
Congrats on taking the steps to make a appointment. Do be willing to change providers if the first is not a good fit (and great if they are),
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Just want to check in on @ThatGuy . How you doing, buddy?
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My appointment date finally arrived. We talked for a bit but unfortunately this is a multi step process so we'll see how it goes. I've changed medication (per his suggestion) and oddly enough I don't have much desire to get on my computer now which is why I haven't been on these forums much the last couple of weeks. lol I have a bit of a dilemma. I deliver mail, my new doctor lives on my route! I'm not sure if I should tell him about this or not. I probably will tell him and see what he thinks of the situation. My second appointment is in a few weeks.
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We took suggestions from this discussions and those from a local friend and have taken Kiddo #2 to therapy for the first time recently.
We'll be trying a second therapist at the same practice as the first wasn't a good fit.
Kiddo#2 has some anxiety and mild depression issues to sort out. Not sure what is the typical teenager brain and what is a real problem that needs to be sorted.
Just as these problems became evident earlier this year we went through a bunch of changes at home (address, different school) and we really worried alot about them.
I think it'll all be okay.
It should be.
Just be weary of anti-depressants for your child. I have an update why. When I was on anti-dep drugs it just made me feel odd, uncaring, and still depressed or even worse. However, Adderall being a stimulant has had the opposite effect. Not only did it give me focus, but honestly, it "cured" my anxiety and depression. I do still get mad or even sad, but it is based on the actual situations and not a chronic thing. It didn`t change my personality either as a whole. The only noticeable thing that changed about me is now people look at me as being optimistic and upbeat all the time now. It is because now I am actually in a good mood most of the time.
I have felt sad the past couple of weeks about something specific. There was a disgruntled employee, who was justifiably fired, that shot and killed two people at another store that I am associated with. Didn`t really know the people involved, but this same thing could have happened where I work. This actually did make national news, but it was quickly overshadowed by the murders in El Paso and Dayton.
Thank you. We will exhaust our other options before we consider medications.
We've made some changes on the home-front with home schooling which removes a big part of our child's anxiety triggers. Second counselor was super and we're waiting for the next calendar opportunity for our child to meet with her. Child has decorated their room and is making it feel more like their home. Still topics to work through though. Didn't mean to derail the thread. Thank you for the OP's discussion.
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The stories and updates are inspiring to read. Thank you all for sharing. I'm considering making an appointment to my PCP. I can't say I know what's going on, but I guess thats what the professionals are for.
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My appointment date finally arrived. We talked for a bit but unfortunately this is a multi step process so we'll see how it goes. I've changed medication (per his suggestion) and oddly enough I don't have much desire to get on my computer now which is why I haven't been on these forums much the last couple of weeks. lol I have a bit of a dilemma. I deliver mail, my new doctor lives on my route! I'm not sure if I should tell him about this or not. I probably will tell him and see what he thinks of the situation. My second appointment is in a few weeks.
Progress is good! Yes, I haven't been on the internet much this month either. It's healthier to live in real life.
You may as well tell the doctor that you're his mailman. It will be fine.
I'm so glad that you have been taking these steps for yourself, and I hope that they lead to positive change. Please keep us posted!
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Popping in because I'm curious how ADHD and FIRE mix. I was just diagnosed, and I feel like a truck of obvious just hit me.
I was initially diagnosed with anxiety and episodic depression. It took years, feeling like the odd one out in anxiety-group-therapy, never feeling like my therapist *really* understood, and my own continuous feeling of "Something just doesn't add up" before a friend mentioned ADHD. (Heck, I'd read *half* a book on Organization for ADHD and kept thinking "These strategies are so great! These aren't just for people with ADHD, they're so useful!" over a year ago and did not connect the dots.)
It's clear to me now that the anxiety and depression were consequences of the ADHD, at least for me. The Reddit subforum for ADHD has been eye opening for how much the ADHD affects my life.
Anyway, outside of the generally unhelpful medical system, it seems like those of us who'd like to FIRE with ADHD may have some particular struggles. I am on a part-time path to regular-aged retirement instead of FIRE because of the difficulties I have with both full time work and not-working-at-all (I do well with a moderate amount of outside structure). MMM/FIRE has allowed me to "design my life" so it's not as stressful even before I knew I had ADHD, but I was left with a nagging feeling that it was impossible to "design my life" in a way where I'd actually feel happy. I don't know if treatment is going to help, still working on dosage with the doc, and I need to find a therapist who actually knows anything about ADHD.
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An update about my situation. I suddenly started to develop side-effects to Adderall. They got really bad in a hurry. Anxiety went through the roof, my mouth and tongue started to hurt through dryness, and I developed a horrible nervous tic of clenching my teeth uncontrollably(even while I slept). I read up on it and this does seem to happen with people over a long duration of some meds. I contacted the doctor and got switched over to Ritalin XR. So far things have been better. I don`t feel the jolt that Adderall gave(which wasn`t really bad in itself), and I only have to take one a day. I actually feel much calmer and more natural feeling. I won`t lie though, I still have some anxiety at work. However, it is not as bad, and I`m not experiencing the side-effects from before. Thankfully, there are so many different things out there if things don`t work out with the other medicine.
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Popping in because I'm curious how ADHD and FIRE mix. I was just diagnosed, and I feel like a truck of obvious just hit me.
I was initially diagnosed with anxiety and episodic depression. It took years, feeling like the odd one out in anxiety-group-therapy, never feeling like my therapist *really* understood, and my own continuous feeling of "Something just doesn't add up" before a friend mentioned ADHD. (Heck, I'd read *half* a book on Organization for ADHD and kept thinking "These strategies are so great! These aren't just for people with ADHD, they're so useful!" over a year ago and did not connect the dots.)
It's clear to me now that the anxiety and depression were consequences of the ADHD, at least for me. The Reddit subforum for ADHD has been eye opening for how much the ADHD affects my life.
Anyway, outside of the generally unhelpful medical system, it seems like those of us who'd like to FIRE with ADHD may have some particular struggles. I am on a part-time path to regular-aged retirement instead of FIRE because of the difficulties I have with both full time work and not-working-at-all (I do well with a moderate amount of outside structure). MMM/FIRE has allowed me to "design my life" so it's not as stressful even before I knew I had ADHD, but I was left with a nagging feeling that it was impossible to "design my life" in a way where I'd actually feel happy. I don't know if treatment is going to help, still working on dosage with the doc, and I need to find a therapist who actually knows anything about ADHD.
I must make a comment on our situation. In a way ADHD has helped contribute to my concentration on FIRE. We have a superpower in a way. Even though we have a hard time concentrating, the things we do take interest in become hyper-concentration!
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Popping in because I'm curious how ADHD and FIRE mix. I was just diagnosed, and I feel like a truck of obvious just hit me.
I was initially diagnosed with anxiety and episodic depression. It took years, feeling like the odd one out in anxiety-group-therapy, never feeling like my therapist *really* understood, and my own continuous feeling of "Something just doesn't add up" before a friend mentioned ADHD. (Heck, I'd read *half* a book on Organization for ADHD and kept thinking "These strategies are so great! These aren't just for people with ADHD, they're so useful!" over a year ago and did not connect the dots.)
It's clear to me now that the anxiety and depression were consequences of the ADHD, at least for me. The Reddit subforum for ADHD has been eye opening for how much the ADHD affects my life.
Anyway, outside of the generally unhelpful medical system, it seems like those of us who'd like to FIRE with ADHD may have some particular struggles. I am on a part-time path to regular-aged retirement instead of FIRE because of the difficulties I have with both full time work and not-working-at-all (I do well with a moderate amount of outside structure). MMM/FIRE has allowed me to "design my life" so it's not as stressful even before I knew I had ADHD, but I was left with a nagging feeling that it was impossible to "design my life" in a way where I'd actually feel happy. I don't know if treatment is going to help, still working on dosage with the doc, and I need to find a therapist who actually knows anything about ADHD.
I must make a comment on our situation. In a way ADHD has helped contribute to my concentration on FIRE. We have a superpower in a way. Even though we have a hard time concentrating, the things we do take interest in become hyper-concentration!
Honestly to me ADHD doesn't seem like attention DEFICIT so much as attention UNCONTROLLABILITY. Attention is like a butterfly that floats from place to place according to whatever it wants to do. People think of ADHD people's attention as flying around in circles like a butterfly, but like butterflies it can also land on one leaf and stay there for hours. When it does it is kind of like a superpower in being able to tenaciously work on something with singular focus.
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An update about my situation. I suddenly started to develop side-effects to Adderall. They got really bad in a hurry. Anxiety went through the roof, my mouth and tongue started to hurt through dryness, and I developed a horrible nervous tic of clenching my teeth uncontrollably(even while I slept). I read up on it and this does seem to happen with people over a long duration of some meds. I contacted the doctor and got switched over to Ritalin XR. So far things have been better. I don`t feel the jolt that Adderall gave(which wasn`t really bad in itself), and I only have to take one a day. I actually feel much calmer and more natural feeling. I won`t lie though, I still have some anxiety at work. However, it is not as bad, and I`m not experiencing the side-effects from before. Thankfully, there are so many different things out there if things don`t work out with the other medicine.
I'm glad to hear you're working through it. It's definitely a process.
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Popping in because I'm curious how ADHD and FIRE mix. I was just diagnosed, and I feel like a truck of obvious just hit me.
I was initially diagnosed with anxiety and episodic depression. It took years, feeling like the odd one out in anxiety-group-therapy, never feeling like my therapist *really* understood, and my own continuous feeling of "Something just doesn't add up" before a friend mentioned ADHD. (Heck, I'd read *half* a book on Organization for ADHD and kept thinking "These strategies are so great! These aren't just for people with ADHD, they're so useful!" over a year ago and did not connect the dots.)
It's clear to me now that the anxiety and depression were consequences of the ADHD, at least for me. The Reddit subforum for ADHD has been eye opening for how much the ADHD affects my life.
Anyway, outside of the generally unhelpful medical system, it seems like those of us who'd like to FIRE with ADHD may have some particular struggles. I am on a part-time path to regular-aged retirement instead of FIRE because of the difficulties I have with both full time work and not-working-at-all (I do well with a moderate amount of outside structure). MMM/FIRE has allowed me to "design my life" so it's not as stressful even before I knew I had ADHD, but I was left with a nagging feeling that it was impossible to "design my life" in a way where I'd actually feel happy. I don't know if treatment is going to help, still working on dosage with the doc, and I need to find a therapist who actually knows anything about ADHD.
I must make a comment on our situation. In a way ADHD has helped contribute to my concentration on FIRE. We have a superpower in a way. Even though we have a hard time concentrating, the things we do take interest in become hyper-concentration!
Attention is like a butterfly that floats from place to place according to whatever it wants to do. People think of ADHD people's attention as flying around in circles like a butterfly, but like butterflies it can also land on one leaf and stay there for hours. When it does it is kind of like a superpower in being able to tenaciously work on something with singular focus.
One thing that I really hate is when I lose interest in something that I focused so much attention on before. It usually happens through discouragement.
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One thing that I really hate is when I lose interest in something that I focused so much attention on before. It usually happens through discouragement.
Oh yeah! There have, obviously, been MONTHS where I've been fascinated by finance, often when I get a new job or new apartment and there are fun numbers to play with. There are also months where I forget what day my credit card bill is due.
I set up my 403b/457 contributions *just the way I wanted them* last year and they got reset because of a reclassification of my job (same job!) and now I can't be bothered to fix it because 1. the fun challenge was in figuring it all out in the first place and 2. I don't want to re-do all that hard work! I knew I'd forget, so I even made a mini-guide for myself, and I still haven't hyped myself up to do it.
I guess all that is pretty typical, but it's really frustrating to be the "money person" who seems to suddenly and randomly forget a lot of things about money.
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My anxiety is giving me some problems at work lately, and I am getting dry mouth and tingly lips from my medication. I haven`t been feeling well over the last week or so because of the anxiety mostly.
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Anxiety is definitely something that has to be balanced against the benefits.
I think for me, though, some of the anxiety is the medication amplifying years of always worrying about forgetting something important. It's really hard to let that go. If you think that's you, too, you might bring it up to the therapist.
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Anxiety is definitely something that has to be balanced against the benefits.
I think for me, though, some of the anxiety is the medication amplifying years of always worrying about forgetting something important. It's really hard to let that go. If you think that's you, too, you might bring it up to the therapist.
I absolutely will. Thank you.
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jojoguy, thanks for sharing your updates here. I'm sorry to hear you're feeling increased anxiety.
On my progress, I got set up with a therapist. She was great for talking through strategies for dealing with seasonal depression, and I have a toolkit and am actually feeling great in that regard. Treating exercise like a health requirement is a HUGE help for me. I have yet to feel depressed at all this season, though I know the longer stretch of winter is coming. Unfortunately, she wouldn't really talk about ADD, just noted that diagnosis is outside of her expertise. She recommended the only practice in town that could do ADD evaluation, and they wouldn't take me (just working with veterans at the moment).
So I'm still in limbo, but all of these issues you all mention resonate really strongly with me. Intense interest and focus for a short period of time, only to abandon it shortly after.... It's frustrating.
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jojoguy, thanks for sharing your updates here. I'm sorry to hear you're feeling increased anxiety.
On my progress, I got set up with a therapist. She was great for talking through strategies for dealing with seasonal depression, and I have a toolkit and am actually feeling great in that regard. Treating exercise like a health requirement is a HUGE help for me. I have yet to feel depressed at all this season, though I know the longer stretch of winter is coming. Unfortunately, she wouldn't really talk about ADD, just noted that diagnosis is outside of her expertise. She recommended the only practice in town that could do ADD evaluation, and they wouldn't take me (just working with veterans at the moment).
So I'm still in limbo, but all of these issues you all mention resonate really strongly with me. Intense interest and focus for a short period of time, only to abandon it shortly after.... It's frustrating.
I think this is worth bumping. Especially, when I read that last sentence because it isn`t just losing interest in things previously I was obssessed in. One of my big problems is through getting distracted even through simple planning implementation. I believe I have found some interesting strategies on building wealth or side hustles, but me being me, I get really distracted when I need to focus on doing said things. I really believe that I could FIRE right now and focus on building income streams if I could only actually doing them. Most of this is based on discovering some great ideas earlier this year, but I keep putting those strategies off because of distractions. Some of those distractions feel purposeful through my subconciousness. I have been finding that through hindsight of things that I was initially excited for, but I would always put it off because I always find even simple things to feel complex to get started when I know that they really are not complicated. For example: I put something on the back burner a few months ago that would have cost me maybe $15k to buy in. I wasn`t affraid to do it, but I get these roadblocks in my mind. If I would have done it without hesitation, it would be sitting at a $150K+ return on my investment today almost passively and still growing passively. I have a few other things on my mind as I type this that I keep procrastinating about and it is soooo frustrating to have a hard time pulling the trigger on. It is really weird that people like myself can have an ability to see things so simple to work but to just get the ball rolling is like going in for surgery. I tend to brainstorm quite a bit when it comes to strategies to minimize the risks involved. To actually get moving though is extremely hard. I think that I am about to start going to weekly therapy instead of just meds. I don`t do prozac or adderall anymore. I moved on to Modafinil(which I highly recommend because of how safe it is). It helps me a lot with thinking and focusing in thought, but nothing has helped with my procrastination and nothing exhausts me more than procrastinating.
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If you have ADHD, you have years of associating breaking down projects and then taking care of all the little details as being pretty painful. Then if you're used to procrastinating, you probably associate it with being under intense pressure, too. You may be procrastinating those associations more than the work itself. If that's you, I don't know how to get past it, but the first step at least is recognizing where it's coming from.