Author Topic: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis  (Read 4899 times)

jojoguy

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 186
Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« on: March 21, 2019, 04:48:03 AM »
Hi, guys/gals. I`m feeling terrible lately over this. Recently diagnosed with a combination of these things after a long battle of not confronting it. I feel like a hypocrite because I used to be such a skeptic of ADHD being a real thing. Now, I am feeling really stressed and depressed over the whole situation. It feels like I`ve been exposed and it makes the whole situation feel much worse. The knowledge of this makes me dwell on thoughts of the whole thing and my anxiety is going through the roof. I need some words of encouragement, prayer, and for people to talk in general about it on here. I`m not seeking arguments. Talking to people about it is some great therapy.

ender

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4691
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #1 on: March 21, 2019, 05:59:56 AM »
As someone who has been on/off depression medicine most of my life, it gets better. It's a really trite phrase (and maddening tbh in the moment) but it is true.

One of the things that is most crippling about depression and mental illness is the massive social stigma associated with it. If you had a broken arm, no one would think twice about it - including you - but for some reason broken chemicals in the brain aren't as meaningful to most people.



LifeHappens

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6377
  • Location: SnowBirdLand
  • Downshifting from 5th to 3rd Gear
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #2 on: March 21, 2019, 09:39:02 AM »
Are you under medical care? Are you in therapy? If the answer to either of these questions is "No" please seek out some resources to help you. There are low cost online therapy providers if you don't have insurance coverage or the ability to meet in person.

It will get better, but the more people you can get on your care team right now, the better off you'll be.

35andFI

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 141
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #3 on: March 21, 2019, 10:54:23 AM »
I wonder if those 3, anxiety, depression, and ADHD, are linked because I was diagnosed with all 3 as well. Except ADHD was split up between ADD and ADHD back then (I have ADD).

Mental illnesses and disabilities can be caused by chemical imbalances in the brain. They are very real and need to be addressed.

I went through a rough time in the beginning 1-2 years of college and ended up giving in and talking to a therapist who can prescribe medication.
This was hard for me to do since I don't like talking to therapists and don't even take Advil.

He ended up putting me on meds for depression and anxiety. I'm not sure how well they worked but I seemed to be stable.
He was also testing out different meds for ADD. Nothing worked there until we got to Adderall.
Taking Adderall cleared the mental fog in my head and I could finally express my thoughts and be productive.

Long story short, I continued taking the medications that were prescribed to me for the next 3 years while under the doctors supervision.
I didn't want to have to take meds for the rest of my life so I eventually stopped taking them (this was not under doctors supervision but looking back maybe it should have been).

Now I have been off all medications for about 6 years and am doing great.
I do still battle with all 3 (and likely will for the rest of my life) but it is very manageable now and does not stop me from thriving.
I have slight social anxiety but I have found that for me personally, facing it head on and seeking discomfort helps me combat it.
I feel like I sort of faked a "type A" personality until it became real.
I also notice myself getting down at times for no reason and combat that by staying busy and active, staying positive, eating healthy, reducing stress, and getting a good night sleep.
I also notice that my head is in a fog sometimes and I can't get my thoughts out properly or I completely lose motivation to do anything.
I've found that doing the above helps with that as well.

Also, I believe that being so open and vulnerable like you are here will only help you learn what you need to do to not only get through this but to thrive.

It likely will require continual action on your part to combat this since it will always be a part of you.
Accept it, take action, and make the best out of the life that you were given.

Feel free to shoot me a PM to chit chat.
Most people don't like to hear about frugality, investing, and lifestyle optimization so I'm always looking for more friends with those interests!
« Last Edit: March 21, 2019, 10:56:33 AM by 35andFI »

jojoguy

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 186
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #4 on: March 21, 2019, 12:51:50 PM »
@LifeHappens Yes, I started some treatment. My regular doctor prescribed Welbutrin, but after a month on them, I feel no different. I went to a psychiatrist and then a psychologist. Nothing was prescribed as of yet. They want to do a thorough examination before prescribing anything else. Honestly, the wait has been turmoil. The test is 2 hours long and it won't be until the second week of April.
@35andFI You sound a lot like me. The awareness of what I have makes it a hundred times worse. I have actually been experiencing little panic attacks at work. Trying to persevere.

LifeHappens

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6377
  • Location: SnowBirdLand
  • Downshifting from 5th to 3rd Gear
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #5 on: March 21, 2019, 01:14:25 PM »
They want to do a thorough examination before prescribing anything else. Honestly, the wait has been turmoil. The test is 2 hours long and it won't be until the second week of April.
That's hard. Sorry you have to wait so long. It can take a while before you get meds dialed in. You may go through several options. It will get better, but the process is tough.

Johnez

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1070
  • Location: Southern California
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #6 on: March 21, 2019, 02:50:52 PM »
I was a skeptic of depression/anxiety treatment methods (specifically meds) in the past. When my SO gave birth to our son, the post partum depression started almost immediately. It was so terrible, shocking, and undeniably unlike her that we sought treatment. I've been humbled and my ignorance washed away. I only wish I could help others see that treatment is nothing to snear at and meds aren't the devil. NOT seeking treatment is the same as letting an infection fester-it an kill. I wish society and the media wouldn't joke about this matter or romanticize it. "Take a Xanax" or any flippant comment like that denigrates and does more harm in that it trivializes a serious illness.

Johnez

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1070
  • Location: Southern California
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #7 on: March 21, 2019, 02:56:11 PM »
The main difference I've seen in the meds is not in how my SO feels or even what she does, but in how she reacts to things. It's very subtle, but the frustration and anxiety over tiny problems have been replaced by a calmer, more measured response. The immediate emotion is no longer the first reaction. Other things too I'll expand on later. Basically it is as if the heightened emotional sensitivity has been taken down a few notches and gives her space to think through before reacting. The meds don't affect day to day things or change her personality. Starting with the lowest possible dose was key I think, along with talk therapy.

OurTown

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1099
  • Age: 49
  • Location: Tennessee
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #8 on: March 21, 2019, 03:02:26 PM »

former player

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4175
  • Location: Avalon
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #9 on: March 21, 2019, 03:34:48 PM »
I've gone back and forth about trying to get myself diagnosed - I'm obviously a fairly extreme outlier in most social respects and have risk factors in my background - but have decided that I've accommodated myself to who I am and will stick with that.  You have my respect for deciding otherwise - if I were younger, or braver, or thought I had more to gain, I might have made the leap into trying to change things.

What I take from your post, OP, is that unlike me you have been able to shake things up in the hope of better things to come.  That is wholly admirable, and while I'm sure it feels totally unsettling at the moment I'm sure that good things will eventuate.  Be brave, and go forth!

Financial.Velociraptor

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1414
  • Age: 46
  • Location: Houston TX
  • Devour your prey raptors!
    • Financial Velociraptor
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #10 on: March 21, 2019, 05:16:43 PM »
I take 20 mg of flouxetine (formerly known as Prosac) and 1 mg of Pimozide daily for Tourette's syndrome.  It has been transformative.  I suffered from violently trying to suppress ticks and low level anxiety for decades not realizing that I was the only one who felt that way. 

The right medicine can do wonders.  But it isn't easy to find the right medicine.  I tried dozens of meds and several cocktails before I settled on what worked with minimal/tolerable side effects.  And I've had to go super light on use of caffeine.  I wouldn't go back to the old way though. 

I used a neurologist instead of a Psych doctor and got great treatment.

jojoguy

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 186
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #11 on: March 21, 2019, 05:35:03 PM »
  Thanks for the kind words and advice friends. I think this thread should keep going because I am seeing that there are others who have these problems. I don`t know why this is coming to a head now in my life. I have tried ignoring the issue for years, but sometimes I kind of sit back and examine the little things I do and realize that it is not normal behavior and it is not fair to my family. The worse thing is not doing anything or feeling incapable of doing anything! A knowledge of something simple to do feeling difficult to do is mind boggling to me, but it is what I face every day. Even going out with family to have a good time(which I know I will) feels HARD TO DO! It is best described as a fear without cause to fear.
  Even stranger is some things can hold my interest in a very obsessive sort of way. This part is a blessing in a way because I am obsessed with the knowledge I have learned on this website and board. However, the downside comes from discouragement or discouraging people. Some things lose my interest. Yes, even things I obsess over. I don`t expect it with FI though. Two reasons: 1. My wife is all for it. 2. It is not a mere thought, but a lifestyle we are going through.

I hope all of this makes sense in a way.

StarBright

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1273
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #12 on: March 21, 2019, 06:04:51 PM »
@LifeHappens Yes, I started some treatment. My regular doctor prescribed Welbutrin, but after a month on them, I feel no different. I went to a psychiatrist and then a psychologist. Nothing was prescribed as of yet. They want to do a thorough examination before prescribing anything else. Honestly, the wait has been turmoil. The test is 2 hours long and it won't be until the second week of April.
@35andFI You sound a lot like me. The awareness of what I have makes it a hundred times worse. I have actually been experiencing little panic attacks at work. Trying to persevere.

Just a note on the Wellbutrin - my younger brother (age 35) started taking it in the last year and mentioned that he really felt the difference a couple of months in.

He's been on and off meds since his teens and likes the Wellbutrin for the fewer side effects it seems to have for him. His totally non-scientific and only anecdotally based theory is that the extended time to "feel" it and the low side-effects are related.

Regarding why things might be happening now: I'm not sure of your age, but I recently read that our threshold for coping with certain things (ADHD being one) changes somewhere around age 40.

jojoguy

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 186
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #13 on: March 22, 2019, 03:26:11 AM »
@LifeHappens Yes, I started some treatment. My regular doctor prescribed Welbutrin, but after a month on them, I feel no different. I went to a psychiatrist and then a psychologist. Nothing was prescribed as of yet. They want to do a thorough examination before prescribing anything else. Honestly, the wait has been turmoil. The test is 2 hours long and it won't be until the second week of April.
@35andFI You sound a lot like me. The awareness of what I have makes it a hundred times worse. I have actually been experiencing little panic attacks at work. Trying to persevere.

Just a note on the Wellbutrin - my younger brother (age 35) started taking it in the last year and mentioned that he really felt the difference a couple of months in.

He's been on and off meds since his teens and likes the Wellbutrin for the fewer side effects it seems to have for him. His totally non-scientific and only anecdotally based theory is that the extended time to "feel" it and the low side-effects are related.

Regarding why things might be happening now: I'm not sure of your age, but I recently read that our threshold for coping with certain things (ADHD being one) changes somewhere around age 40.

I'm 38.

Freedomin5

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1838
  • Location: China
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #14 on: March 22, 2019, 07:44:13 AM »
If you havenít read SPARK: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain, you should check it out. The research is compelling and it will give you a starting point to manage the anxiety, depression, and ADHD symptoms while waiting for the clinicians to complete their comprehensive evaluations. Iím not saying that exercise is the only way to manage these disorders, but having a healthy lifestyle (sleep, exercise, diet) is the basic building block to allow Medication and therapy to be optimally effective.

max9505672

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 273
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #15 on: March 22, 2019, 08:22:13 AM »
I wonder if those 3, anxiety, depression, and ADHD, are linked because I was diagnosed with all 3 as well. Except ADHD was split up between ADD and ADHD back then (I have ADD).

Mental illnesses and disabilities can be caused by chemical imbalances in the brain. They are very real and need to be addressed.

I went through a rough time in the beginning 1-2 years of college and ended up giving in and talking to a therapist who can prescribe medication.
This was hard for me to do since I don't like talking to therapists and don't even take Advil.

He ended up putting me on meds for depression and anxiety. I'm not sure how well they worked but I seemed to be stable.
He was also testing out different meds for ADD. Nothing worked there until we got to Adderall.
Taking Adderall cleared the mental fog in my head and I could finally express my thoughts and be productive.

Long story short, I continued taking the medications that were prescribed to me for the next 3 years while under the doctors supervision.
I didn't want to have to take meds for the rest of my life so I eventually stopped taking them (this was not under doctors supervision but looking back maybe it should have been).

Now I have been off all medications for about 6 years and am doing great.
I do still battle with all 3 (and likely will for the rest of my life) but it is very manageable now and does not stop me from thriving.
I have slight social anxiety but I have found that for me personally, facing it head on and seeking discomfort helps me combat it.
I feel like I sort of faked a "type A" personality until it became real.
I also notice myself getting down at times for no reason and combat that by staying busy and active, staying positive, eating healthy, reducing stress, and getting a good night sleep.
I also notice that my head is in a fog sometimes and I can't get my thoughts out properly or I completely lose motivation to do anything.
I've found that doing the above helps with that as well.

Also, I believe that being so open and vulnerable like you are here will only help you learn what you need to do to not only get through this but to thrive.

It likely will require continual action on your part to combat this since it will always be a part of you.
Accept it, take action, and make the best out of the life that you were given.

Feel free to shoot me a PM to chit chat.
Most people don't like to hear about frugality, investing, and lifestyle optimization so I'm always looking for more friends with those interests!
First time I read about Type A personality. Went to read on it and it really feels like me. The hypothesis describes Type A individuals as outgoing, ambitious, rigidly organized, highly status-conscious, sensitive, impatient, anxious, proactive, and concerned with time management.

I've also been struggling with anxiety (performance and social) all my life. Also been diagnosed with ADD about 2 years ago. I got prescribed medication, but I stopped taking them out of fear I guess... I have always performed despite those issues (both in school and at work). In fact, I suspect this personality type helped my perform, but brought a lot of stress/anxiety.

I have also been seeing psychologists on and off for many years.

dougules

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1542
  • Location: AL
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #16 on: March 22, 2019, 10:27:17 AM »
Hi, guys/gals. I`m feeling terrible lately over this. Recently diagnosed with a combination of these things after a long battle of not confronting it. I feel like a hypocrite because I used to be such a skeptic of ADHD being a real thing. Now, I am feeling really stressed and depressed over the whole situation. It feels like I`ve been exposed and it makes the whole situation feel much worse. The knowledge of this makes me dwell on thoughts of the whole thing and my anxiety is going through the roof. I need some words of encouragement, prayer, and for people to talk in general about it on here. I`m not seeking arguments. Talking to people about it is some great therapy.

This whole paragraph sounds like depression and anxiety talking, not you.  It's both ironic and not at all ironic that the disease makes you feel so bad about having the disease.  Please recognize that this is depression talking, not you. 

jojoguy

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 186
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #17 on: March 22, 2019, 12:50:07 PM »
Hi, guys/gals. I`m feeling terrible lately over this. Recently diagnosed with a combination of these things after a long battle of not confronting it. I feel like a hypocrite because I used to be such a skeptic of ADHD being a real thing. Now, I am feeling really stressed and depressed over the whole situation. It feels like I`ve been exposed and it makes the whole situation feel much worse. The knowledge of this makes me dwell on thoughts of the whole thing and my anxiety is going through the roof. I need some words of encouragement, prayer, and for people to talk in general about it on here. I`m not seeking arguments. Talking to people about it is some great therapy.

This whole paragraph sounds like depression and anxiety talking, not you.  It's both ironic and not at all ironic that the disease makes you feel so bad about having the disease.  Please recognize that this is depression talking, not you.
I believe so. I am feeling okay at the moment and can reflect a little on my post. I'm glad I posted it when I was feeling down. Persevering.

SunnyDays

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 346
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #18 on: March 22, 2019, 05:09:33 PM »
Beware of taking ADHD meds when you have anxiety, as they tend to be stimulants, which can worsen anxiety.  Some ADHD symptoms can overlap with anxiety too, so make sure you have a correct diagnosis.  While waiting for meds, you could try GABA and fish oil supplements.  Best of luck.

jojoguy

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 186
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #19 on: March 23, 2019, 03:21:15 AM »
Beware of taking ADHD meds when you have anxiety, as they tend to be stimulants, which can worsen anxiety.  Some ADHD symptoms can overlap with anxiety too, so make sure you have a correct diagnosis.  While waiting for meds, you could try GABA and fish oil supplements.  Best of luck.

Definitely paying attention to this. I'm really thinking a lot of my anxiety comes from the thought of being overwhelmed whenever I get multiple tasks all at once given to me(for instance) at work. Multitasking scares me. I have to calm down and ask my bosses to put them in order. If they do, it eases things down in my head and I can focus straight forward, instead of my mind racing in hundreds of directions. It reeeeally sucks if I have a boss that says everything is a priority. I still need things in order and I have to embaressingly explain to him/her why. At the same time, I am terrified of asking for help. They mistakingly assume by me not asking for help means I don't need help. All in all, I still do a good job though and have a good reputation. I really am just tired of these feelings of panic and my mind racing over even simple tasks.

StarBright

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1273
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #20 on: March 23, 2019, 06:09:45 AM »

Definitely paying attention to this. I'm really thinking a lot of my anxiety comes from the thought of being overwhelmed whenever I get multiple tasks all at once given to me(for instance) at work. Multitasking scares me. I have to calm down and ask my bosses to put them in order. If they do, it eases things down in my head and I can focus straight forward, instead of my mind racing in hundreds of directions. It reeeeally sucks if I have a boss that says everything is a priority. I still need things in order and I have to embaressingly explain to him/her why. At the same time, I am terrified of asking for help. They mistakingly assume by me not asking for help means I don't need help. All in all, I still do a good job though and have a good reputation. I really am just tired of these feelings of panic and my mind racing over even simple tasks.

Whoo Buddy - I have one of those bosses and jobs and this is what I do: I take the list down,  ask "do you have a preferred priority?", If he says "everything" I treat it the same as him saying "no priority", then I say "All right, I'm on it" and then go back to my desk and write an email in which I layout the order I will be working on things and end with something like "Please let me know if you want any changes."

When you multi task and have a boss who doesn't give the clearest directions, I find that CYA goes REALLY far.

FWIW - I also have pretty bad anxiety, including panic attacks, and it has taken me several years to get to this position of feeling confident enough to prioritize on my own when my boss doesn't give direction. But it really makes my life better.

jojoguy

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 186
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #21 on: March 23, 2019, 09:16:29 AM »

Definitely paying attention to this. I'm really thinking a lot of my anxiety comes from the thought of being overwhelmed whenever I get multiple tasks all at once given to me(for instance) at work. Multitasking scares me. I have to calm down and ask my bosses to put them in order. If they do, it eases things down in my head and I can focus straight forward, instead of my mind racing in hundreds of directions. It reeeeally sucks if I have a boss that says everything is a priority. I still need things in order and I have to embaressingly explain to him/her why. At the same time, I am terrified of asking for help. They mistakingly assume by me not asking for help means I don't need help. All in all, I still do a good job though and have a good reputation. I really am just tired of these feelings of panic and my mind racing over even simple tasks.



FWIW - I also have pretty bad anxiety, including panic attacks, and it has taken me several years to get to this position of feeling confident enough to prioritize on my own when my boss doesn't give direction. But it really makes my life better.

I felt the same thing with my current position until I got a new boss. My confidence dropped like a rock. Honestly, this is the main reason I am getting therapy. I knew I have had a problem for a long time, but kept putting it off until recent times.

use2betrix

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1625
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #22 on: March 24, 2019, 07:50:37 AM »
Last June I picked up running for the first time in my life. I had been a heavy weightlifter my whole life and always knew of the benefits (mental) that weight lifting provided.

Since I have seriously picked up running, it has been an amazing compliment to the mental benefits of my weightlifting. Weightlifting I feel helps self esteem, energy, amongst other things. I have found that running has been a HUGE benefit to reduce anxiety and also increase mental focus. While work is getting insanely busier and more stressful with my responsibilities multiplying, Iím not stressing about it like I have in the past and am also better able to focus. I donít think this is just for running, but any intense cardio activities for several hours/week.

In addition, in February I did a 28 day meditation challenge. I think that also had a very positive impact on reducing anxiety, stress, and increasing mental focus. Iíve done ďpretty goodĒ maintaining it into March, but could improve.

Iíve been prescribed many ADD drugs and anti-depressants over the year, and Iíve found that those items above have been a more positive impact than any of them by far.

PDXTabs

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 997
  • Age: 36
  • Location: Vancouver, WA, USA
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #23 on: March 24, 2019, 09:35:12 AM »
I'm not an MD and I am not giving medical advice. I do however manage my diagnosed anxiety and depression without medication (I've tried medication) with a combination of diet (AIP), exercise, and meditation.

I'm not opposed to medication, I just haven't had much luck with the ones I have tried. I would mention that some people with ADHD respond well to the off-label use of Modafinil.

jojoguy

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 186
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #24 on: March 24, 2019, 05:03:53 PM »
Right now I am working a lot and I`m not able to run or exercise. It is a real busy time at work. I`ve worked over three weeks straight and will probably not be off for at least another twenty days. This is good and bad. Good in that I am moving around in mainly a routine, not sitting down to sulk, and the great amount of overtime. Bad because I`m not able to do much with family, exercise, and my feet hurt. Trying to keep my mind clear.

SpeedReader

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 150
  • Age: 53
  • Location: Lynnwood, WA
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #25 on: April 01, 2019, 08:58:40 PM »
Hang in there, Jojoguy!  It does get better.  Really. 

I started getting depressive episodes in college which resolved quickly, so I didn't recognize the problem at the time.  I got into a bad job situation in my 20s, and would literally wish to be hit by a car so I wouldn't have to go to work the next day.  A new job resolved that round.  But I took a super-stressful job when I turned 40.  The depression kicked in hard and I was a wreck.  It was ridiculously difficult to ask for help; when I tried to explain the problem to my doctor I just burst into tears.  Doc  instantly put me on Celexa and warned me of the adjustment period.  I felt worse for the next 2-3 weeks than I had pre-diagnosis; I was too nervous to leave the house. 

But once I felt normal again, I flatly refused to be stigmatized.  My position was - and is - that nobody should be embarrassed about taking prescribed medication, whether insulin, transplant rejection drugs, or for depression.  I was very open with my staff.  People were not only very understanding; several came and shared their depression and PTSD histories with me!

Ten years later, I'd heard that sometimes taking antidepressants will kick-start your body into producing its own.  I'd done so well for so long that my doctor agreed to wean me off the meds.  That worked fine for a couple of years, but then I was back into the depression spiral.  This time my new doctor required me to attend six weeks of group therapy in addition to the pills.  I was MUCH less than thrilled -- but I went. 

Walking into that room was the hardest thing I'd ever done.  I still couldn't tell you why I was so afraid, other than it being the depression working on me.  The sessions were all about giving us tools to recognize our downward spirals, and how to break out of them.  I was a different person by the end of those six sessions.  Now, I am OK with the fact that I'll be on this medicine forever, because I never want to feel that bad again. 

Long post here but I wanted you to hear from someone who's lived it that you can and will be OK. 


jojoguy

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 186
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #26 on: April 02, 2019, 04:46:07 AM »
Hang in there, Jojoguy!  It does get better.  Really. 

I started getting depressive episodes in college which resolved quickly, so I didn't recognize the problem at the time.  I got into a bad job situation in my 20s, and would literally wish to be hit by a car so I wouldn't have to go to work the next day.  A new job resolved that round.  But I took a super-stressful job when I turned 40.  The depression kicked in hard and I was a wreck.  It was ridiculously difficult to ask for help; when I tried to explain the problem to my doctor I just burst into tears.  Doc  instantly put me on Celexa and warned me of the adjustment period.  I felt worse for the next 2-3 weeks than I had pre-diagnosis; I was too nervous to leave the house. 

But once I felt normal again, I flatly refused to be stigmatized.  My position was - and is - that nobody should be embarrassed about taking prescribed medication, whether insulin, transplant rejection drugs, or for depression.  I was very open with my staff.  People were not only very understanding; several came and shared their depression and PTSD histories with me!

Ten years later, I'd heard that sometimes taking antidepressants will kick-start your body into producing its own.  I'd done so well for so long that my doctor agreed to wean me off the meds.  That worked fine for a couple of years, but then I was back into the depression spiral.  This time my new doctor required me to attend six weeks of group therapy in addition to the pills.  I was MUCH less than thrilled -- but I went. 

Walking into that room was the hardest thing I'd ever done.  I still couldn't tell you why I was so afraid, other than it being the depression working on me.  The sessions were all about giving us tools to recognize our downward spirals, and how to break out of them.  I was a different person by the end of those six sessions.  Now, I am OK with the fact that I'll be on this medicine forever, because I never want to feel that bad again. 

Long post here but I wanted you to hear from someone who's lived it that you can and will be OK.

Things have been rough at work recently. I'm working a lot of hours. Just worked over three weeks straight before taking one day off. I'm on a two and a half week stretch right now. Mentally, it has still been on the rough side, but manageable so far. A new manager is visiting this week, and I hear he is not a nice guy. Really nervous about it. I get my psychological testing done on the 14th. I really want to get that and the followup over with. Thanks for the encouragement.

Glenstache

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2127
  • Location: Seattle!
  • Target FI date 2027 (maybe?)
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #27 on: April 02, 2019, 02:29:39 PM »
Lifelong depression person here, but not diagnosed until early 30s. It is good that you have been able to start the treatment process. Medications, therapy and life choices (alcohol, sleep, exercise, diet) all interplay and need to be given consideration. I make a conscious choice on all of them. A few things to keep in mind as you move forward: just because some particular drug/therapy works for someone else, does not mean it will work for you. This is just the nature of the game. Make sure you have a good therapist and psychiatrist (if you elect meds) to manage things and provide you with reasonable expectations for effectiveness, side effects, and timespan of changes. Treat any source (book/blog/rando internet person) that presents any therapy as a silver bullet with serious skepticism.

That said, getting the diagnosis is a thing unto itself. All of a sudden there is a label and a framework for so much emotion/reaction/sensation.  It is a lot to take in and give yourself time to get used to acknowledge that. There will be rough spots ahead, but getting help helps. Really.

TrMama

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 2873
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #28 on: April 02, 2019, 03:16:11 PM »
Where you are now is probably the toughest spot you'll be in. Right now you know there's a problem that needs to be solved, but you don't yet have a complete diagnosis or treatment plan. There are a lot of unknowns and that's understandably making you more anxious. The good news is that it will most likely only get better from here. Keep asking for help from your doctors and follow their advice and I'm sure you'll be feeling better soon.

I went through a similar situation with my then 9yo daughter several years ago. She had clinical anxiety and was beginning to have serious depression and suicidal ideation. Depression is a frequent result of untreated anxiety so you're certainly not alone in experiencing both. I suspected my daughter's mental health problems were being caused by untreated learning disabilities. Turned out I was correct, and that she also had ADD (which is just ADHD without the hyperactivity component).

Undiagnosed/untreated ADHD/learning disabilities/ASD/lots of other things frequently cause anxiety. I think the basic process is that the person with these neurological quirks knows on some level that they're not like other people, and that they have to work harder to meet expectations. Naturally, this makes them feel unsure of themselves and leads to clinical anxiety. So the path you've experienced is very, very common.

The good news is that anxiety is highly treatable with therapy. ADHD is also much more manageable with learned strategies/therapy and meds. There are therapists who specialize in helping people with ADHD, so when you're ready you could look for one.

You might want to ask your doctor if Strattera would be a good med for you. It a non-stimulant (aka in a different class from ritalin/adderal/etc) used to treat ADHD and it has a mild anti-anxiety effect. It can be a great option for people who can't tolerate the stimulants.

Oh, and the being able to focus on one thing for a long time is called hyperfocus. It's a classic marker of ADHD. Again, you're totally normal for experiencing that.

Keep putting one foot in front of the other and know that where you are now is probably the worst spot. Things will only get better from here.

accolay

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 944
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #29 on: April 02, 2019, 03:28:25 PM »
@LifeHappensNothing was prescribed as of yet. They want to do a thorough examination before prescribing anything else.

This is important and probably best if you see practitioners who specialize in the presumed diagnoses and can do the appropriate testing etc.

jojoguy

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 186
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #30 on: April 03, 2019, 06:26:33 PM »
The waiting part and the knowledge of this thing has been tough. It makes me feel vulnerable. It helps to talk about it. Hence, to why I am mentioning it on here. Most around me either don`t know or they are skeptical. Thank God for my wife! Even though she doesn`t know much about it, she is open for listening to me. She is helping me with my sanity. I am very thankful.

Glenstache

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2127
  • Location: Seattle!
  • Target FI date 2027 (maybe?)
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #31 on: April 03, 2019, 07:08:51 PM »
'The noonday demon" by Solomon is a book that does a good job of telling the stories of people with anxiety/depression issues. I have found it both difficult to read because of what it reminds me of, and also compelling because the author so eloquently invokes and describes the experience of these conditions. I am part way through it now, and recommend it. The book is over a decade old at this point, and it should not be taken as any type of diagnosis/treatment book. More of a commiseration.

Poundwise

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1435
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #32 on: April 04, 2019, 08:07:05 AM »
Here's another great book which discusses ADD/ADHD in adults. https://www.amazon.com/Driven-Distraction-Revised-Recognizing-Attention-ebook/dp/B005GFII62

JanetJackson

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 735
  • Location: United States
    • How I actually made $50 just for taking a survey and being in the healthcare marketplace
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #33 on: April 04, 2019, 08:54:58 AM »
Hi!  You're not alone.
Anxiety and OCD here, some Depression in relation to those two as well

No meds yet, I am exhausting every possible outlet before I go that route (history of addiction in my family), but I started talk therapy about a year ago.  And I am currently saving money to have blood tests done in order to see if there's any OTC supplementation that can be done.

My biggest hurdle was how the two work together to completely blanket the REAL ME that's underneath the person incessantly checking the locks, driving back home to check the locks again, stepping back down the front steps 4x because the other three times didn't "feel right" etc. etc. and then becoming anxious because I couldn't get out of the loop and was about to be late for work.
THAT PERSON IS NOT ME.  But it is... you know?

It came to a peak about a year ago and just the addition of talk therapy has been such a help.  Also, for me, regardless of my schedule, exercise is a necessity.  Even if it's 10 minutes of slow yoga before bed.  If I do not exercise for several days in a row I can feel my mood just utterly tank.  If I stop and do ten jumping jacks I earn a notable .25 in mood points...it's like a video game.  Exercise is a big one for me.

All of that rambling being said, hang in there (insert 'Hang in there' kitten poster).  It does take time and there are a few small things you can do during the wait time.  But true, the wait time is the worst!
* I am currently on a wait after cancelling my talk therapy for next week to save some money.  Will be back the week of April 15th, but waiting until then seems like it might as well be 28 years from now.

LifeHappens

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6377
  • Location: SnowBirdLand
  • Downshifting from 5th to 3rd Gear
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #34 on: April 04, 2019, 09:39:53 AM »
And I am currently saving money to have blood tests done in order to see if there's any OTC supplementation that can be done.
Depending on what you want to have tested, you might look into getting lab orders for your blood draws online. There are a couple companies that offer this in the US. It can be quite a bit cheaper than going through you PCP's office if you know what you want done and how to interpret the results.

goalphish2002

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 277
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #35 on: April 05, 2019, 07:54:51 AM »
OP- Try to think positive about this.  At least now you know there is a reason for how you feel, and you can take corrective action.  I have taken medication for years but only recently have started some counseling.  I would say to try both together.  Exercise and meditation do help greatly also.  Also, I know this sounds like kind of a different topic, but are you male?  Are you 35+?  I would have blood drawn.  Men have hormonal changes, which can lead to ADHD, anxiety, and depression. 

ThatGuy

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 164
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #36 on: April 05, 2019, 08:50:59 PM »
Does anyone else think it's ironic that you realize you need help but because of your depression/anxiety you can't bring yourself to get help?  I just keep trudging through each day.

wenchsenior

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2107
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #37 on: April 06, 2019, 08:53:35 AM »
Does anyone else think it's ironic that you realize you need help but because of your depression/anxiety you can't bring yourself to get help?  I just keep trudging through each day.

It's the nature of the beast.  Rather like a sick joke, in many respects.  If you CAN boost yourself to a therapist (you might even enlist a friend or loved one to find a therapist, book and appointment, and TAKE you to it), I highly recommend trying someone who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy.

Poundwise

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1435
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #38 on: April 06, 2019, 10:29:46 PM »
Does anyone else think it's ironic that you realize you need help but because of your depression/anxiety you can't bring yourself to get help?  I just keep trudging through each day.

What kind of help do you need?  Somebody to talk to? A diagnosis? A prescription? An improvement in your life situation? Help finding a therapist?

jojoguy

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 186
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #39 on: April 07, 2019, 08:09:39 AM »
Does anyone else think it's ironic that you realize you need help but because of your depression/anxiety you can't bring yourself to get help?  I just keep trudging through each day.

It feels so terrible. I finally got to a breaking point to seek help. It was almost a spur of the moment. I drove my wife to work and had the sudden thought to see my doctor. I came so close to changing my mind, but I'm glad I didn't. Self doubt is so terrible in our situation. I still have it. "Is something really wrong with me or am I imagining things?" Is the constant thought that goes through my mind, and it just depresses me even more.

ThatGuy

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 164
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #40 on: April 08, 2019, 12:18:42 PM »
Does anyone else think it's ironic that you realize you need help but because of your depression/anxiety you can't bring yourself to get help?  I just keep trudging through each day.

What kind of help do you need?  Somebody to talk to? A diagnosis? A prescription? An improvement in your life situation? Help finding a therapist?

I can't bring myself to make an appointment.  One of my issues is I don't like initiating phone calls so that makes a lot of things a challenge. lol  The medication I'm on now isn't helping as much as I think it should but of course to try something else I need to see a psychiatrist.

I don't have much faith or trust in psychiatrists or therapists.  When I first started seeing a psychiatrist I was more or less assigned to a doctor.  All seemed fine until one evening I went to my appointment with one of the therapists that worked in his office.  I had talked to her before but this appointment was different. I was sitting across from her at her desk and as I was talking she was busy with her computer.  It was dark out so the window behind her reflected the computer screen.  She was playing solitaire.  I didn't say anything, I just decided I wouldn't see her anymore but continue my visits with the doctor.  At my next appointment with him we sat in his dimly lit office.  I sat in a chair facing him with a TV over my head.  He was watching the news or something with the volume so loud I could hardly hear anything else.  I told my family doctor what happened and he referred me to another doctor.  When I met him the first thing he said is he would not discuss what happened at my previous psychiatrist's office.  I didn't plan on bringing it up but his reaction kind of bothered me.  To make matters worse the therapist from the previous doctor's office also worked in the new doctor's office.  Actually I was told she worked in all the psychiatrist offices in the area, although I never came into contact with her other than seeing her in passing at the office.  This happened almost 13 years ago, I stopped seeing the second psychiatrist almost 7 years ago.  Our appointments were mostly discussing the chemistry of various anti-depressants and since I don't understand chemistry nor do I care I stopped going.  I'm going to say I am partially to blame because I didn't open up like I probably should have.

So now that I've shared TMI that's where I'm at.  Like most things in my life there's always some sort of road block to navigate around and I just can't seem to bring myself to do it.

Poundwise

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1435
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #41 on: April 08, 2019, 03:26:15 PM »
Does anyone else think it's ironic that you realize you need help but because of your depression/anxiety you can't bring yourself to get help?  I just keep trudging through each day.

What kind of help do you need?  Somebody to talk to? A diagnosis? A prescription? An improvement in your life situation? Help finding a therapist?

I can't bring myself to make an appointment.  One of my issues is I don't like initiating phone calls so that makes a lot of things a challenge. lol  The medication I'm on now isn't helping as much as I think it should but of course to try something else I need to see a psychiatrist.

I don't have much faith or trust in psychiatrists or therapists.  When I first started seeing a psychiatrist I was more or less assigned to a doctor.  All seemed fine until one evening I went to my appointment with one of the therapists that worked in his office.  I had talked to her before but this appointment was different. I was sitting across from her at her desk and as I was talking she was busy with her computer.  It was dark out so the window behind her reflected the computer screen.  She was playing solitaire.  I didn't say anything, I just decided I wouldn't see her anymore but continue my visits with the doctor.  At my next appointment with him we sat in his dimly lit office.  I sat in a chair facing him with a TV over my head.  He was watching the news or something with the volume so loud I could hardly hear anything else.  I told my family doctor what happened and he referred me to another doctor.  When I met him the first thing he said is he would not discuss what happened at my previous psychiatrist's office.  I didn't plan on bringing it up but his reaction kind of bothered me.  To make matters worse the therapist from the previous doctor's office also worked in the new doctor's office.  Actually I was told she worked in all the psychiatrist offices in the area, although I never came into contact with her other than seeing her in passing at the office.  This happened almost 13 years ago, I stopped seeing the second psychiatrist almost 7 years ago.  Our appointments were mostly discussing the chemistry of various anti-depressants and since I don't understand chemistry nor do I care I stopped going.  I'm going to say I am partially to blame because I didn't open up like I probably should have.

So now that I've shared TMI that's where I'm at.  Like most things in my life there's always some sort of road block to navigate around and I just can't seem to bring myself to do it.

Oh man, that's so disrespectful!  Especially the doctor with the TV. The solitaire therapist might actually have ADD herself, but all the same the right thing to do would be to explain to you that it was how she kept her focus.  But both of them were very unprofessional and a waste of your time.

I just looked it up to be sure (it's confusing),
Psychiatrist:  "A medical doctor with special training in the diagnosis and treatment of mental and emotional illnesses.  A psychiatrist can prescribe medication, but they often do not counsel patients " so that explains why your psychiatrist only talked chemistry to you.  From http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/types-mental-health-professionals

It seems to me that you need a couple of visits with a psychiatrist to fix your meds, but then ongoing visits with a GOOD counselor to talk out issues. Or maybe a support group too. I'm not sure which you should try first, maybe it doesn't matter.

It's okay to have taken a break from doctors, no need to feel self-conscious. I myself have seen a therapist a few times in my life to talk out things that were upsetting me and keeping me from functioning, then when the issues resolved, I could stop going.  Patients come, patients go.

As for finding new doctors, maybe start here? Surely after 7 years there may be new practitioners in your area. Doctors come, doctors go. If you find a support group, you might get tips on good doctors to see.  http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/im-looking-mental-health-help-myself

You may not have to call these days, just send an email.

jojoguy

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 186
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #42 on: April 09, 2019, 06:24:58 PM »
One of my issues is I don't like initiating phone calls so that makes a lot of things a challenge.


Oh, man! That is me! I am terrified of initiating phone calls.

I am having a somewhat bad time today. My direct boss is very abrasive and I really don`t like(avoidance type of fear) to communicate with her even if I try. I asked the main boss where I work if I could leave(already a long day) and he said, yes and I wouldn`t get into trouble. I am trying to open up to her(direct boss) a little more about my anxiety. I plan on apologizing to her tomorrow for not telling her that I was leaving. It just felt soooo hard to do. I really hate feeling so timid or afraid of doing even simple things.

jojoguy

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 186
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #43 on: April 14, 2019, 08:24:58 AM »
Got my psychological testing this Monday. Nervous but ready to get it over with.

Glenstache

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2127
  • Location: Seattle!
  • Target FI date 2027 (maybe?)
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #44 on: April 14, 2019, 12:24:52 PM »
Got my psychological testing this Monday. Nervous but ready to get it over with.
Good luck and good on you for being proactive. Keep it up.

ThatGuy

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 164
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #45 on: April 15, 2019, 10:30:30 AM »
I hope today goes/went well.  As a side note, people dealing with depression probably shouldn't do their own taxes. lol  I still have a few hours. :)

StarBright

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1273
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #46 on: April 15, 2019, 10:45:59 AM »
Just wishing you well and cheering you on.

GreenEggs

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 699
  • Location: Here & There
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #47 on: April 15, 2019, 03:21:05 PM »
Someone mentioned exercise having such a positive influence and I have noticed that too, with myself and others.  Nutrition also plays an important role. 


Exercise, a healthy diet, herbal teas, and meditation are all things that are natural and you can do on your own.  I'm not saying that's enough for everyone, but those are good things to consider, especially if you haven't had good results with doctors or meds.


I've also found pets can help cheer me up.  Art & music are also positive therapies for some people.  I think they help take your mind off of your problems, which is often a big hurdle.  Our brains are so complex, and sometimes we just need something to help us move past the vegative habits & loops that can become dominant.  (Only speaking from personal experience, and self mental exploration, which I find very interesting.  The brain is really amazing.)


(I'm not trying to imply that doc's & meds aren't important & necessary for a lot of people.)

Glenstache

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2127
  • Location: Seattle!
  • Target FI date 2027 (maybe?)
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #48 on: April 15, 2019, 07:06:25 PM »
Someone mentioned exercise having such a positive influence and I have noticed that too, with myself and others.  Nutrition also plays an important role. 


Exercise, a healthy diet, herbal teas, and meditation are all things that are natural and you can do on your own.  I'm not saying that's enough for everyone, but those are good things to consider, especially if you haven't had good results with doctors or meds.


I've also found pets can help cheer me up.  Art & music are also positive therapies for some people.  I think they help take your mind off of your problems, which is often a big hurdle.  Our brains are so complex, and sometimes we just need something to help us move past the vegative habits & loops that can become dominant.  (Only speaking from personal experience, and self mental exploration, which I find very interesting.  The brain is really amazing.)


(I'm not trying to imply that doc's & meds aren't important & necessary for a lot of people.)

I'm of the "all of the above" approach. Mental health is simply too important in life not to make it a priority. Making it a priority is, ironically, one of the toughest things to do when down, though. Having a support network to get you to a doctor, or outside for a walk, or whatever really helps. Making building that network a priority really helps, but again is tough to do and takes time.

jojoguy

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 186
Re: Depression/anxiety/ADHD diagnosis
« Reply #49 on: April 17, 2019, 12:48:40 PM »
Update:
The psychological testing although fun, really felt like a waste of time. I feel like everything went well, but I worry about misdiagnosis coming out from it. I felt confident during the testing, unlike how I am in real-life situations.

I have to go back in two weeks for results and then get back to a psychiatrist for whatever treatment offered. I really want to get started with treatment soon. I fell into deep depression yesterday, and I am tired of going through that.
« Last Edit: April 17, 2019, 12:51:43 PM by jojoguy »