Author Topic: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.  (Read 2338 times)

Free Spirit

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Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« on: June 09, 2019, 10:52:21 AM »
I don't know where to put this and I'm not sure this is even the right forum but you all are very smart and thoughtful so here goes. I'm in shambles and I'm not sure how to cope with my situation.

 My cat got bit by a snake yesterday and is in rather critical condition at the vet. They've given her multiple rounds of antivenin and her blood isn't responding. Today they gave her a plasma infusion to see if it helps and then they are going to probably do another round of antivenin and run a full panel on her. The vet said she is still alert and using her litter box which is great but her blood work is not great. I'm scared and I feel like the shittiest person for letting her go outside. I was even one of those who was critical of people who let their cats outside until I got her. I have only had her 4 months but she is my best friend. I can't stand the waiting and I'm really struggling through this. I haven't eaten in over 24 hours, barely slept. I don't know what to do.

G-dog

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #1 on: June 09, 2019, 11:04:31 AM »
Sorry about your cat.

You wait.
You take deep breaths and stay focused on what is important.
You make the best decisions you can at the time.
You learn from this, without developing paranoia.
You let go of the guilt, guilt is a poor master and a liar.

Kris

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #2 on: June 09, 2019, 11:28:49 AM »
Oh, god. Iím so sorry. And if itís any consolation, I think I can definitely relate to your pain and grief.

Seven years ago, we brought a fresh bouquet of day lilies into our home from our garden. We did not have any idea how extremely toxic lilies are to cats. Our beloved cat chewed part of a petal. By the time we figured out he was sick, read with horror online about lily toxicity, and rushed him to the vet, it was too late.

The guilt was crushing. The grief was so strong and painful that I remember barely being able to sleep or eat for weeks. Itís still hard to think about.

What happened to your cat, though, was an accident. You love her, and all you can do is give it your best effort, keep her as comfortable as possible, be with her at the end if the end comes, and mourn her.

Iím close to tears writing this. Iím just so sorry for you. Seven years on, we have another rescue cat we adore, whom I adopted in the aftermath of losing the other one. I couldnít stand the hole in my life in the wake of his passing. You may be different. But whatever you choose, please be gentle with yourself.

Free Spirit

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #3 on: June 09, 2019, 11:41:02 AM »
Thank you so much for the replies. I'm so sorry to hear about your cat, Kris, that must have been devastating. G-Dog, you're right guilt is a master liar and I have to stop believing it.

What is killing me right now is the wait, I tend to ruminate and my thoughts are all over the place - from being confident in the drs and knowing they are doing everything they can to thinking I'll never get to play her favorite game with her again. It's like experiencing all the stages of grief at once. I don't know if that's normal or my anxiety showing. I'm also starting to fear that I won't be able to afford much more treatment. I'm lower income and seeing large chunks come out of my account is throwing some panic in the mix. I have a good emergency fund and I'll spend whatever is necessary but it's still scary.


Thank you again, writing some feelings down has helped me process a little. One step at a time, even if it means crying in between.


G-dog

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #4 on: June 09, 2019, 12:06:08 PM »
The unknowns are devastating when dealing with pet illnesses - you canít know how they are feeling, where it hurts, etc.

It is crazy-making.  The wait gives Imagination too much time to run the scenarios.

Hoping for the best.

Linea_Norway

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #5 on: June 09, 2019, 12:16:23 PM »
I am sorry for your situation and hope you will soon know the final outcome, hopefully a positive one.

It is not your fault, but an unfortunate accident. It is very natural for cats to be outside. That is where they belong and can use their natural instincts (although not good for the bird population). Don't blame yourself for not locking your cat up inside.

Free Spirit

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #6 on: June 09, 2019, 02:33:37 PM »
Thank you, Linea. Being an avid birder makes me hyper aware of how cats can totally wipe out local bird populations. My little kitty loves to chase bugs and lizards and never really bothers birds (I'm not naÔve enough to think she wouldn't if given the chance though!) so I felt ok with her outside. She never even wandered too far, mostly she would chill on a neighbor's patio or nap under her favorite oak tree. Before we adopted her she was a shelter cat and then went to a home which had an older cat that beat her up every day. She was relegated to a spot in their kitchen for a few months so me letting her outside was an attempt to make her the happiest cat around, and she loved it. Of course I feel guilty but I'm starting to believe I was doing the best for her well being.

Anyways, we got an update a couple hours ago. They ran two coag panels after giving her a plasma infusion, one is actually improving, which is good news. The other is not improving but isn't worsening. I'll take that as a positive step. The vet said the swelling had gone down a little too so here's hoping for the best.

Thank you all again for helping me through this, it means a lot to me.

G-dog

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #7 on: June 09, 2019, 02:56:53 PM »
Good news, I hope kitty continues to improve.


Kris

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #8 on: June 09, 2019, 03:38:21 PM »
That's good news. Sending positive thoughts kitty's (and your) way...

Cassie

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #9 on: June 09, 2019, 10:20:17 PM »
Holding a good thought for your kitty. In the past 15 years we have done a lot of dog rescue. We have rescued a lot of old dogs.  8 have passed and itís heartbreaking.

former player

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #10 on: June 10, 2019, 02:12:54 AM »
Adding my best wishes and hoping for continued improvement in your cat's condition.

I'm sure your decision to allow your cat outside is giving her her best life.   I allow my dog off the lead all the time, but a few weeks ago that meant he found and ate a cooked pork bone left on an old campfire at the beach - I didn't notice until I heard the crunch - and I spent two nights on the sofa worrying about blockages and tears in the gut.  Luckily he came through with only minor symptoms, but I completely understand your state of mind over your cat, having been there so recently with my dog.

Free Spirit

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #11 on: June 10, 2019, 07:25:21 AM »
Thank you so much everyone, Iím not all about the woo but I believe all the well wishes are making an impact. Kitty has been improving, her vitals are good and even though her blood panel is a little high the vet said he thinks sheís going to be ok. Iím sitting with her now, sheís being transferred to her regular vet because the emergency vet is only open overnight and weekends. Iím still cautiously optimistic because it was such a bad bite. They said she set a record for needing 4 bags of antivenin and 2 bags of plasma. Not a good record to set but it gives you an idea of how severe snake bites can be, and she isnít even 10 lbs!
Weíll get an update a little later today but both vets seem to be positive. She might even get to go home tonight.
If anyone is curious, we are at about $8000 for all of this. I do not begrudge one cent and I would do it all over if it meant saving her. She really is my best little friend and I canít wait to play hide and seek with her again.

G-dog

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #12 on: June 10, 2019, 07:48:14 AM »
Yes - vet bills can be astronomical! Though corresponding identical treatment for a human would probably make my heart stop!

Glad she continues to improve.  Woo or no woo - whatever works.  I hope she can go home soon.

Kris

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #13 on: June 10, 2019, 07:50:24 AM »
Oh, I'm so relieved for you.

MrDelane

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #14 on: June 10, 2019, 07:56:03 AM »
I've been there (with a little dog and some lantana that grew in the backyard). I don't know if I have any words that will help... but I couldn't just silently read your thread either.

Just wanted to say that I hope your little friend continues to improve.
Please keep updating us - and also please be kind to yourself.
Eat something, try to get some sleep, drink plenty of water.
If you neglect yourself you won't be in the best position to take care of anyone (or anything) else.

Hang in there.


EDITED TO ADD:
Not that you were worried about it necessarily - but I know that my partner and I have gotten some looks regarding how much we've spent on our dogs in the past (we do not hesitate to take them to the vet if we suspect anything).  My approach to this has always been that we have our stache for a reason.... we do not spend on the unimportant things so that we have the ability to spend on the important things.  The life of our best friends tops that list - and in the same way we would do anything for our own healthcare, we do the same for theirs. 

No guilt, no anxiety.  You are doing everything that you can and your kitty is in good hands.
« Last Edit: June 10, 2019, 08:01:54 AM by MrDelane »

OtherJen

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #15 on: June 10, 2019, 09:54:23 AM »
@Free Spirit , I'm so glad your kitty is recovering well! It's so terrifying to have a sick pet.

EDITED TO ADD:
Not that you were worried about it necessarily - but I know that my partner and I have gotten some looks regarding how much we've spent on our dogs in the past (we do not hesitate to take them to the vet if we suspect anything).  My approach to this has always been that we have our stache for a reason.... we do not spend on the unimportant things so that we have the ability to spend on the important things.  The life of our best friends tops that list - and in the same way we would do anything for our own healthcare, we do the same for theirs. 

No guilt, no anxiety.  You are doing everything that you can and your kitty is in good hands.

I agree. If you have the means, spend it on your values. Last year, we spent probably close to $2000 in total vet bills one of our rabbits for the diagnosis and treatment of osteosarcoma. Treatment required full amputation of one of his front legs, and we wondered if we were crazy because he was right on the cusp between middle-aged and elderly. But 8 months later he has a clean bill of health, still runs laps and hops around his pen with glee at meal times, lounges around happily in sun patches, and just came down the hall with his partner to check on me at my desk. No regrets.

Roadrunner53

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #16 on: June 10, 2019, 11:06:42 AM »
Free Spirit, so glad to here your kitty is doing better. You are not alone in big vet bills but not regretting it. I have a dog who in the last year had had 3 surgeries and chemo for cancer. He is on a ton of drugs and had been sick for a week with diarrhea. Had to get more pills, special dog food and probiotics. He has to back off on his cancer meds because the vet feels it is giving him the diarrhea. It is a constant battle to keep him in good shape. Not sure his life expectancy but we are doing all we can for him.

G-dog

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #17 on: June 10, 2019, 11:37:36 AM »
@Roadrunner53 - we just went through cancer and end of life with one of our dogs (chemo, no surgery). Fortunately the chemo did not cause diarrhea. But so many meds! And $$$.  And we passed on really expensive stereotactic radiation due to cost and her age - but now I wonder if we would have had a better outcome for not that much more money since the constant chemo, visits, and meds really added up!

Roadrunner53

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #18 on: June 10, 2019, 11:52:25 AM »
@Roadrunner53 - we just went through cancer and end of life with one of our dogs (chemo, no surgery). Fortunately the chemo did not cause diarrhea. But so many meds! And $$$.  And we passed on really expensive stereotactic radiation due to cost and her age - but now I wonder if we would have had a better outcome for not that much more money since the constant chemo, visits, and meds really added up!

Yes, G-dog, we also opted not to do the radiation. They told us the dog would have to be sedated each time and that was just too much for the poor animal to endure. The one drug he takes 3 times a week or 12 pills per month is $155 and then all the other ones for various reasons. G-dog, don't dwell on what you didn't do, we can only go so far with treatments and still be kind to our animals. Unfortunately, science has not figured out yet how to cure cancer all the time in animals or humans.

SunnyDays

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #19 on: June 10, 2019, 02:38:03 PM »
Aw, poor kitty!  And poor Free Spirit too!  I went through a bad time when my neighbour's dog, who was under my care at the time, was hit by a car and they decided to put her down.  I also lost a cat to a car accident.  I now have 2 other cats, who I let go outside all the time, because I think a possibly shorter, free life is better for them than a longer confined one.  In general, people do what they think is best for their pets and sometimes there are unintended consequences.  It's not easy to deal with, but just try to take it as it comes.  Don't presume the worst outcome.  As Mark Twain said "I've had many troubles in my life, many of which never happened" or something like that.

iris lily

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #20 on: June 13, 2019, 03:49:56 PM »
Need update on cat!

Cassie

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #21 on: June 13, 2019, 06:28:05 PM »
We have spent more money than most on our dogs. Rescuing old dogs has taught me that there is a time to let go. I am getting better at this.  I also take into consideration how old a dog is when looking at treatment, quality of life, etc. 

Free Spirit

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #22 on: June 14, 2019, 08:02:07 AM »
Need update on cat!
Oh, I forgot to update this thread, I am sorry! Kitty is on the mend, and more like herself. :) We had a little scare the first 24 hours, she was put on oral antibiotics and had a strange reaction to it but the vet said we were ok to stop giving that to her as she already got an injected antibiotic. She's just been a little less rambunctious and not keen on meowing but other than that she is acting normal. In fact, she's asking to go outside as I type this. *facepalm*

Thank you all for the concern and support when I didn't have any other outlet. I'm truly heartbroken to hear the stories of sick or injured animals, I'm so sorry for anyone that's dealt with the loss of a pet. It is absolutely like losing a child. I've had numerous pets throughout my life but this little cat is special to me in a way I can't describe, I want to make sure she's the happiest cat on Earth. Now, I guess I gotta go find that cat harness...

Cassie

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #23 on: June 14, 2019, 08:47:29 AM »
Free, I am so glad she is better. I am assuming you are young and donít have kids.   I have had a few friends lose kids and it changes their lives forever. 30 years later itís still very painful. My dogs are my babies but after I grieve I get another one. Not so with children.

SunshineAZ

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #24 on: June 14, 2019, 09:28:10 AM »
I just saw and read this thread, I am very happy to see that your cat appears to be on the mend, I really didn't think that a cat would survive a snakebite like that.  I was very worried for you and your cat when I started reading and I hope your cat makes a full recovery.  I would have been just as scared and worried as you were, my cats are my babies. 

I can also relate to your situation because it is one of my worries, I have 4 cats and 2 small dogs and live in the boonies in Arizona.  The cats stay indoors because we have too many coyotes around here to let them out but we also have rattlesnakes and we see at least one a year in our yard.  I am always on the lookout when we take the dogs out and listening for the rattle during the summer.  The only good thing is that one of my dogs is afraid of snakes, when she was a puppy, she encountered a small bull snake and of course went over to smell it and it struck at her (they mimic a rattlesnake when threatened) and scared her, so now she just barks at snakes from a safe distance.  LOL Of course the other one would probably try to eat it.  *facepalm*


Free Spirit

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #25 on: June 14, 2019, 10:03:09 AM »
Free, I am so glad she is better. I am assuming you are young and donít have kids.   I have had a few friends lose kids and it changes their lives forever. 30 years later itís still very painful. My dogs are my babies but after I grieve I get another one. Not so with children.

Depends on your definition of young. ;) But, yes, I am child free by choice. My husband and I fostered a child for a few years and it was one of the hardest and most rewarding periods of my life and I am so very thankful for the experience. The child was extremely neglected by drug addicted parents and had some health problems as a result; I was a walking ball of nerves at every turn. Not everyone equates their pets with children and I respect that but I do see them as my babies and love them with every inch of my being just as I would a child. I have dealt with family members passing at a young age and I see the pain their parents go through for the rest of their lives. I'm sorry if my opinion came across as flippant and I apologize.

MrDelane

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #26 on: June 14, 2019, 10:36:34 AM »
Free - so glad to hear she is doing better!
I hope she continues to improve and is back to her old self in no time (but with a harness)
:)

use2betrix

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #27 on: June 14, 2019, 11:58:36 AM »
Two years ago as of this week, my 13 year old dog passed away. He was my 16th birthday present from my parents, and I had him with me all through college, and my young adult life. It teaches a young person a lot about responsibility to care for such a dependent animal.

Prior to his passing, I could probably count on one hand how many times I had shed a tear in the last decade. After he passed, I cried daily for many many weeks, if not months. About a month ago I randomly shed tears on the way home from the gym thinking about him (enough that my wife noticed when I got home and asked what was wrong). Iíve lot family members before, but for whatever reason, my dog hit me unbelievably hard; we had been through a lot together.

Before he passed (The vet put him down) I saw a quote that stuck with me and continued to during and after his passing.

ďTo end a pets suffering, we must first choose to accept our own.Ē

Roadrunner53

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #28 on: June 15, 2019, 05:36:34 PM »
Two years ago as of this week, my 13 year old dog passed away. He was my 16th birthday present from my parents, and I had him with me all through college, and my young adult life. It teaches a young person a lot about responsibility to care for such a dependent animal.

Prior to his passing, I could probably count on one hand how many times I had shed a tear in the last decade. After he passed, I cried daily for many many weeks, if not months. About a month ago I randomly shed tears on the way home from the gym thinking about him (enough that my wife noticed when I got home and asked what was wrong). Iíve lot family members before, but for whatever reason, my dog hit me unbelievably hard; we had been through a lot together.

Before he passed (The vet put him down) I saw a quote that stuck with me and continued to during and after his passing.

ďTo end a pets suffering, we must first choose to accept our own.Ē
'

UGH, I am with you bro. I have had to put down several of my beloved dogs during my life time and I have two more right now that one is OLD and the other is sick. I am going to lose my mind when the time comes. They are the love of my husbands and my lives and just to think of them leaving us is heartbreaking. We just have to know that they have brought us a lot of love and we have given them much love too. It is so hard to let go but we have no choice. We will see them again in heaven...

Cassie

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #29 on: June 15, 2019, 10:07:08 PM »
Free, I have really suffered when my dogs have died.  However, when my best friends 19 years old daughter was dying I would have sacrificed all 4 of my beloved babies to save her.  Itís irrational but it occurred to me no matter how important our animals that people are more important.?

G-dog

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #30 on: June 15, 2019, 10:22:28 PM »
Free, I have really suffered when my dogs have died.  However, when my best friends 19 years old daughter was dying I would have sacrificed all 4 of my beloved babies to save her.  Itís irrational but it occurred to me no matter how important our animals that people are more important.?

I thought @Free Spirit response to you @Cassie was eloquent, gracious, and generous. Why are you trying to argue this point? Especially now. 

Kris

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #31 on: June 16, 2019, 06:12:41 AM »
Free, I have really suffered when my dogs have died.  However, when my best friends 19 years old daughter was dying I would have sacrificed all 4 of my beloved babies to save her.  Itís irrational but it occurred to me no matter how important our animals that people are more important.?

I thought @Free Spirit response to you @Cassie was eloquent, gracious, and generous. Why are you trying to argue this point? Especially now.

+1.

Cassie

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #32 on: June 16, 2019, 09:52:11 AM »
Because itís extremely hurtful for people who have lost children to hear someone compare their pets to them.  Thatís the last thing I will say on this matter.

Free Spirit

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #33 on: June 16, 2019, 10:58:53 AM »
I made this post out of sheer desperation because I had no where else to turn. To give you an idea of how hurt I was, I didn't eat for 5 days and barely slept, I called into work at the risk of losing my job. All I have ever wanted was to save animals. Throughout my life I have cared for and nurtured countless pets and wild animals. To say I love animals is an understatement, it's a fundamental part of my being. It was not my intention to hurt anyone by posting this thread and I'll have it removed.

Thank you to everyone who showed your support and shared your stories, it means more than you know. I'll go back to lurking now.

G-dog

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #34 on: June 16, 2019, 11:48:12 AM »
I made this post out of sheer desperation because I had no where else to turn. To give you an idea of how hurt I was, I didn't eat for 5 days and barely slept, I called into work at the risk of losing my job. All I have ever wanted was to save animals. Throughout my life I have cared for and nurtured countless pets and wild animals. To say I love animals is an understatement, it's a fundamental part of my being. It was not my intention to hurt anyone by posting this thread and I'll have it removed.

Thank you to everyone who showed your support and shared your stories, it means more than you know. I'll go back to lurking now.

No need to remove or just lurk - we need more kind hearted people.  Donít let someone force you out - you have a right to your feelings also.   But obviously, if you feel better deleting and lurking - thatís fine too. But donít go away feeling that youíve done something wrong or that your feelings and thoughts are not legitimate.

RetiredAt63

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #35 on: June 16, 2019, 11:50:13 AM »
Please do not remove the thread, others posted meaningful insights on it.

We all vary in how deeply we feel the death of living beings close to us, whether they are people or pets.  Yes, we are going to feel the deaths of people that we are close to more, but even that varies.  Our grief for the death of an aged parent or grandparent who is ready to go is going to be different than the grief we feel losing someone who went before we think they should have.  Just as, at its own level, my grief for some of my pets' deaths is greater because they went too soon and I felt that we should have had more time together, versus the pets who were in pain and had no hope of healing, whose painless death was the last gift I could give them.

Cassie

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #36 on: June 16, 2019, 11:50:42 AM »
You donít need to remove this thread or just lurk.  When I lost my favorite dog despite having 3 others I was very depressed for 2 months. Each pet that leaves takes a piece of your heart.  I know the pain is very real.

Roadrunner53

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #37 on: June 16, 2019, 02:17:54 PM »
Cassie, why don't you stop visiting this topic if you don't agree with people who have animals and love them like children. Free Spirit needed some emotional support as we all do sometimes. I am glad she posted and the rest of us are too. I am a grown up person who never had children and my dogs have been my fur babies. Free Spirit has nothing to apologize for and, I for one, hope she continues to post about her furry kid.

We all need our hands held at times to get us through the tough times...
« Last Edit: June 17, 2019, 03:49:21 AM by Roadrunner53 »

OtherJen

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #38 on: June 16, 2019, 05:49:18 PM »
Cassie, why don't you stop visiting this topic if you don't agree with people who have animals and love them like children. Free Spirit needed some emotional support as we all do sometimes. I am glad she posted and the rest of us are too. I am a grow up person who never had children and my dogs have been my fur babies. Free Spirit has nothing to apologize for and I for one hope she continues to post about her furry kid.

We all need our hands held at times to get us through the tough times...

Seconding this, so much, especially as someone who doesnít and canít have kids.

Thereís no need for a Grief Olympics. Sometimes itís kinder not to say anything at all than to criticize and downplay someoneís legitimate grief.

Parizade

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #39 on: June 17, 2019, 08:34:50 AM »
I saw this article and thought of this thread:

Why losing a dog can be harder than losing a relative or friend

Not a death but this story relates I think. My son and his wife (and eventually my granddaughter) lived with me for 4 years before they got their own place in a different state. I knew I would miss them all when they left but was surprised to realize that in some ways I missed their dog most of all. I felt a little guilty for my feelings but when I thought it through it made sense. She would always greet me in the morning when I got up and she was always at the door when I got home from work, while my son and his family were much more independent and autonomous. She was always happy to see me and never in a bad mood (unlike people, whose moods are always shifting).  When I visit them she still goes nuts when she realizes it's me.

This doesn't mean she was more important to me than my people-family, but the reality is she was better at meeting some of my relationship needs and those needs went unmet when she moved away.

SpeedReader

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #40 on: June 19, 2019, 10:25:27 PM »
It's never wrong to let yourself grieve the loss of a loved one -- any loved one, human or not.  So glad it didn't come to that for Free Spirit and her kitty!


2Cent

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #41 on: June 20, 2019, 09:09:46 AM »
When you buy a pet you know you will outlive it. The best strategy is to buy one younger and one older one, so when the time comes you still have one left. Also realize upfront that like for humans the birth of a new baby in the family does a lot to alleviate grief over a lost elder, a new puppy/rescue dog will alleviate grief over the loss of a previous dog or cat. I like to give a good life to my pets, but when they get old and fall sick I feel it's not good to run up medical bills only to give a little bit of extra life filled with pain and fear. Better give them a good last meal spend a day in their favorite place and face the inevitable. It is really hard, but when their time is over, it is time for another to live.

G-dog

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #42 on: June 20, 2019, 09:13:38 AM »
Parrots and tortoises can outlive their owners.  As can more typical pets, we donít really know how long we have either.

I am currently debating when it would be irresponsible of me to get another pet because of the odds it would have to be re-homed.  We donít have friends or relatives likely to take a pet.

use2betrix

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #43 on: June 20, 2019, 12:23:48 PM »
Parrots and tortoises can outlive their owners.  As can more typical pets, we donít really know how long we have either.

I am currently debating when it would be irresponsible of me to get another pet because of the odds it would have to be re-homed.  We donít have friends or relatives likely to take a pet.

Beta fish would hopefully be a safe bet :)

RetiredAt63

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #44 on: June 20, 2019, 01:19:22 PM »
Parrots and tortoises can outlive their owners.  As can more typical pets, we donít really know how long we have either.

I am currently debating when it would be irresponsible of me to get another pet because of the odds it would have to be re-homed.  We donít have friends or relatives likely to take a pet.

Guinea pigs?  4-5 years max.

Senior dog/cat?

Beta fish would hopefully be a safe bet :)

dougules

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Re: Dealing with anxiety and grief over a pet.
« Reply #45 on: June 20, 2019, 03:38:12 PM »
Parrots and tortoises can outlive their owners.  As can more typical pets, we donít really know how long we have either.

I am currently debating when it would be irresponsible of me to get another pet because of the odds it would have to be re-homed.  We donít have friends or relatives likely to take a pet.

Guinea pigs?  4-5 years max.

Senior dog/cat?

Beta fish would hopefully be a safe bet :)

Getting a senior dog or cat at a shelter would be a great idea.  If they did outlive you, they wouldn't be any worse off than they had been before.  There are so many older dogs and cats that have a hard time getting adopted.