Author Topic: dating advice  (Read 3490 times)

Tomacco

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dating advice
« on: May 17, 2017, 05:12:11 PM »
hello, i was looking for some input for an issue im having with my boyfriend. we have been going out for about 6 months, and he is getting really upset with the level of contact i am having with my ex. I text with my ex everyday, lots of times when my new bf is around. and i hang out with my ex as well- we just got in a fight because my ex slept over at my house last night. My new bf does not like my ex because he threatened to beat him up and threw a bunch of sour cream on his truck, among other things.  I also let my ex live  for free in one of my 5 rental units that i could easily rent out for 600/ month.  And i could definitely use that money, as my rentals are my only source of income.
Is my new bf wrong for wanting my ex out of my life? any advice would help. thank you

gooki

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Re: dating advice
« Reply #1 on: May 17, 2017, 05:34:52 PM »
Your boy friend is right.
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gooki

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Re: dating advice
« Reply #2 on: May 17, 2017, 05:43:39 PM »
As for the advice stop seeing, and communicating with you ex and kick him out of your rental.

Or drop the boyfriend.
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Mac_MacGyver

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Re: dating advice
« Reply #3 on: May 17, 2017, 06:44:24 PM »
Your ex is an ex for a reason and yet he remains. You probably like the drama and attention you get from both so they would both probably be better off if they got rid of the real issue which is you. I assume you are trolling, Rick roll next?
« Last Edit: May 17, 2017, 07:21:31 PM by Mac_MacGyver »

Kris

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Re: dating advice
« Reply #4 on: May 17, 2017, 07:29:16 PM »
Well, first, it seems fairly obvious to me that you are actually the boyfriend, writing as if you were your girlfriend.

That said, if this is truly the situation, and you aren't exaggerating to get the response you want, then you are definitely not wrong to want the ex out of the picture. Tell her you don'5 date people who are already attached to someone else. If she doesn't agree to set more appropriate boundaries, move on.
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Prairie Stash

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Re: dating advice
« Reply #5 on: May 17, 2017, 08:26:23 PM »
Well, first, it seems fairly obvious to me that you are actually the boyfriend, writing as if you were your girlfriend.

That said, if this is truly the situation, and you aren't exaggerating to get the response you want, then you are definitely not wrong to want the ex out of the picture. Tell her you don'5 date people who are already attached to someone else. If she doesn't agree to set more appropriate boundaries, move on.
+1
time to break up and move on, there's a lot of unresolved issues. The break up doesn't have to be mean, just make sure you tell her why. You'll be doing her a favour, she can choose to fix her issues and then her next relationship has a chance.


okits

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Re: dating advice
« Reply #6 on: May 18, 2017, 09:27:48 AM »
Well, first, it seems fairly obvious to me that you are actually the boyfriend, writing as if you were your girlfriend.

Yup.

When I see people litter, I will grab it and say to the person- hey! You dropped something. Like they may have dropped something important. Then when they see it's just the trash they littered- they always deny it. Then I usually get pretty aggressive and tell them they are pieces of shit and I saw them do it.  I usually end the conversation with- I'll throw away your trash this time, do it yourself next time. I swear and yell a lot and make people very uncomfortable. Lol. The perks of being a big ass dude.
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Tomacco

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Re: dating advice
« Reply #7 on: May 18, 2017, 10:23:26 AM »
Ok thanks for the help guys, I wanted to have people say things directly to her, and then show her this thread. But this helps me think I'm not the crazy one, at least as far as this goes

Carless

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Re: dating advice
« Reply #8 on: May 18, 2017, 10:39:49 AM »
It sounds like your girlfriend is still in a relationship with this guy.  Maybe it's sexual, maybe it's just some sort of emotional codependant thing.  But based on your brief description I'm going to give you some advice.

1.  You can't make people change.  You can't make her drop the other guy, or make him move out.  You need to accept that, and trying to force anything is a quick trip to a breakup or a relationship that is even more disfunctional than this sounds already.
2. Put some serious thought into whether this relationship is worth the effort.  Does she treat you well?  Do you feel happy when you're with her?  Do you respect each other as adults?
3.  Condoms.  So many condoms. This is not a situation that will be improved by children.

J Boogie

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Re: dating advice
« Reply #9 on: May 23, 2017, 10:20:55 AM »
There are plenty of fish in the sea.  And the other fish probably don't have exes that throw sour cream on your truck.

Barbaebigode

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Re: dating advice
« Reply #10 on: May 23, 2017, 10:46:38 AM »
Ok thanks for the help guys, I wanted to have people say things directly to her, and then show her this thread. But this helps me think I'm not the crazy one, at least as far as this goes

I was about to link this https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/off-topic/op-is-the-only-one-who-doesn't-see-it/

Then I saw that you're the boyfriend.

BigHaus89

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Re: dating advice
« Reply #11 on: May 23, 2017, 12:20:17 PM »
I'll echo everyone else and say GTFO ASAP. This is red flag city and there is no changing that. End it, work on yourself and move on.

Vindicated

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Re: dating advice
« Reply #12 on: June 14, 2017, 02:21:45 PM »
3.  Condoms.  So many condoms. This is not a situation that will be improved by children.

+1
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Raenia

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Re: dating advice
« Reply #13 on: June 15, 2017, 07:43:18 AM »
Gonna go ahead and say the unpopular thing here: it's entirely possible for a person to still be friends with an ex.  Not all breakups are bad, sometimes you figure out you're not right as a romantic partnership but it's still possible to be good friends.  Also, you've only been dating for 6 months.  She's probably known this guy a lot longer than you, and if you push too hard you may find she cares more about her friendship with him than she does about the relationship with you.  So be careful not to come across as too controlling.  I'd avoid asking her to cut off all contact with this person, etc (assuming you're trying to salvage the relationship, which honestly might not be worth your time.)

That said, letting him sleep over at her place (assuming it wasn't offered to other people as well, e.g. after a party when it's late, people might be drunk, etc) and live rent-free in her property are a big step too far, in my opinion.  And the threats and sour cream thing (?!) are definitely off base on his end, and she should have objected to him about that.  But getting upset that they text or hang out says more about you than it does about her.

tarheeldan

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Re: dating advice
« Reply #14 on: June 15, 2017, 08:06:07 AM »
That shit is whack, yo.

Psychstache

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Re: dating advice
« Reply #15 on: June 15, 2017, 08:17:43 AM »
Break up and move on.

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DesireeD

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Re: dating advice
« Reply #16 on: July 01, 2017, 08:43:49 PM »
So...what happened? Update please, some of us have no drama of our own and live vicariously through others drama.

iceberg8

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Re: dating advice
« Reply #17 on: July 13, 2017, 01:31:51 PM »
I hope it was not a troll topic, because its interesting and I would like to know how it ended.
From my point of few, I do not limit my GF at all.
She can talk, chat, go anywhere, but she don't
That is the magic trick, give 100% freedom and they won't miss use it.
But to be honest, I would not like if my GF would chat to her ex, or even sleep under one roof. Even though I would trust her on 100%, it is simply strange.
Here is why: people should be DECISIVE. people should know what they want. it is quite essential how get on the move and achieve something. of course, life is not B/W and someone may say the exact opposite.
ignorance is bliss

ixtap

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Re: dating advice
« Reply #18 on: July 13, 2017, 01:43:00 PM »
Ok thanks for the help guys, I wanted to have people say things directly to her, and then show her this thread. But this helps me think I'm not the crazy one, at least as far as this goes

Well, you have clearly demonstrated that you are manipulative, so I wouldn't go so far as saying you are not the crazy one.

farfromfire

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Re: dating advice
« Reply #19 on: July 14, 2017, 09:07:58 AM »
On several websites there is a well known troll that frequently adopts usernames/profile pics related to tomatoes. This may very well be him.

TheOldestYoungMan

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Re: dating advice
« Reply #20 on: July 14, 2017, 09:59:25 AM »
We need a site that aggregates troll activities.  There's some fantastic examples out there of genuinely hilarious things, along the vein of the amazon review/ebay seller critiques, and also that Ken M fellow.  Then there's just random trolling that I feel like we could identify the pattern of that particular troller and issue a patch to the internet that keeps them off it.
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iceberg8

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Re: dating advice
« Reply #21 on: July 14, 2017, 11:01:40 AM »
Yes, that would be nice.. Those trolls wasting too much time.
ignorance is bliss

aalferez

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Re: dating advice
« Reply #22 on: July 18, 2017, 09:57:33 AM »
Your boyfriend is so right.

My rule of thumb is normally:

Let's invert the roles here and lets say he is in your shoes and you are in his....what would you do, say, feel...?

Dabnasty

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Re: dating advice
« Reply #23 on: July 19, 2017, 12:25:39 PM »
Yes, that would be nice.. Those trolls wasting too much time.
Lol, good one iceberg...