She was completely out of line and I'm sorry she did that to you. She deserves to be fired (yeah, really) for her insensitivity in something that is supposed to be her profession. In fact, I would wonder if she is even licensed because wouldn't a cosmetology school tell its students to expect all kinds of hair and all kinds of scalps?
I'm not an expert, but ...
First, I know there is a difference between dry scalp and dandruff.
Second, I know my head flaked a lot for many years and I was constantly embarrassed about it. I tried everything and couldn't get anything to work. On the worst days, I'd rub a little coconut oil onto the flakiest parts just to keep the flakes from falling onto my shoulders. I think they still were there, but then they'd get stuck to the oil.
Dying my hair seemed to help for a few days. No idea why, but every 2 months when I dyed the hair, I'd get a few days of relief from itching.
Finally, FINALLY, I read something on the web and thought it was worth trying because I had tried everything else. Dairy. Now, I love dairy, so this was really hard for me.
I cut out almost all dairy for about 5 weeks and the problem simply disappeared. Since then, I have dairy, but much much less than I used to. Sometimes when I have a bowl of ice cream or a chunk of cheese, the next day will see flakes along my hairline. I haven't experimented enough to identify what types of dairy are okay and which bring the flakes, but I know there are some differences. It's been about 5 years since I've been aware that it makes a difference, and I keep dairy out of my diet just enough so that the flakes aren't an embarrassment. But I've also noticed some other effects as well -- e.g. when I really restrict the dairy, I don't even need moisturizer on my legs anymore.
I don't know why more hairdressers don't tell us this. It would have meant 20 years of more confidence and less embarrassment for me!
