Author Topic: Complicated "relationship" situation (not mine) what to do?  (Read 5965 times)

Laura33

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Re: Complicated "relationship" situation (not mine) what to do?
« Reply #50 on: July 06, 2017, 07:33:31 AM »
The reason most of the comments have been things to the effect of: butt out, not your circus, not your monkeys, is NOT because most people are heartless jerks. It's because we recognize our own inability to change a crazy person or help the poor in-denial sop who wants to marry her or whatever.

Do what the rest of us do with our crazy relatives: watch from the sidelines, offer appropriate levels of help if it's specifically asked for, and bring popcorn if you're a more cynical person, or pray if you're a more spiritual person.

And drinking.  Don't forget drinking.

Otherwise, this.
Laugh while you can, monkey-boy

Jane Dough

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Re: Complicated "relationship" situation (not mine) what to do?
« Reply #51 on: July 10, 2017, 08:22:27 PM »
     Mike should be told ASAP, and before any more money is spent on her. It's a terrible betrayal. How long has it been since she worked? She is an adult, and should pay her way.  Many on this forum have experienced infidelity,I doubt they would like to know people they trusted were in the know and minded their own business.
     I discussed the pain and deceit of infidelity with a casual acquaintance , and she told me matter-of-factly that she knows her sister's husband is in a long term affair with another woman, and that her sister doesn't know. She won't tell her sister, so in my book it's a double betrayal. She told me that she let her brother in law know that she knew what he was doing, and ,instead of telling him to fess up or she would tell her sister, she accepted his word that he would never hurt her sister. The word of a lying cheat. He can have his cake and eat it too.
     

Zamboni

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Re: Complicated "relationship" situation (not mine) what to do?
« Reply #52 on: July 10, 2017, 08:38:15 PM »
^Yes, that is a double betrayal by the sister. I don't understand family dynamics sometimes.

OP needs to decide how "like family" he feels about Mike. It's a weird situation because it's betrayal by someone who is family (SIL) on something who is "like family."

iris lily

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Re: Complicated "relationship" situation (not mine) what to do?
« Reply #53 on: July 10, 2017, 09:39:55 PM »
     Mike should be told ASAP, and before any more money is spent on her. It's a terrible betrayal. How long has it been since she worked? She is an adult, and should pay her way.  Many on this forum have experienced infidelity,I doubt they would like to know people they trusted were in the know and minded their own business.
     I discussed the pain and deceit of infidelity with a casual acquaintance , and she told me matter-of-factly that she knows her sister's husband is in a long term affair with another woman, and that her sister doesn't know. She won't tell her sister, so in my book it's a double betrayal. She told me that she let her brother in law know that she knew what he was doing, and ,instead of telling him to fess up or she would tell her sister, she accepted his word that he would never hurt her sister. The word of a lying cheat. He can have his cake and eat it too.
   
I think you may be viewing this too heavily through your own lense, a lense colored by the story of your friend's sister.
Remember that the young woman in question hasnt seen Mike in almost a year. Why is Mike continuing to pay toward her upkeep? Only Mike knows that.

« Last Edit: July 11, 2017, 10:47:24 AM by iris lily »

LeRainDrop

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Re: Complicated "relationship" situation (not mine) what to do?
« Reply #54 on: July 10, 2017, 09:46:10 PM »
At the end of the day, you are worrying about the wrong people here you are worried about Mike, and Rob, and Karen when you really need to be worrying about you and your wife. You guys need to protect yourselves and your marriage, not Karen or her boyfriends. She is a threat to the people around her and she is already damaging your own life in tangible ways. Remove the threat as strategically and nicely as possible, but remove it asap.

This, +1000

+2000

Cali Nonya

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Re: Complicated "relationship" situation (not mine) what to do?
« Reply #55 on: July 11, 2017, 10:00:32 AM »
Mr. Anonymous OP:

Any updates for us with curious minds?

monstermonster

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Re: Complicated "relationship" situation (not mine) what to do?
« Reply #56 on: July 11, 2017, 10:44:45 AM »
I hope you and your wife are doing okay and that this soap opera has resolved itself a bit (and that you've gotten yourself out of this co-dependency.)
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