Completely off-topic: trichotillomania

[kt]

I know it's unusual and very personal but we're a fairly anonymous community and relatively large now so, has anyone had experience dealing with trichotillomania (hair pulling)? I am aware that there are communities for these things but I don't want to go there for whatever reason and I'm already here.

I'm getting married this year and want to use the motivation to look my best to stop properly. It was subconscious when I started around 11 years ago then someone noticed and I became aware, had my hair cut very short and stopped. It's not been truly noticeable since but I want done with it. It's about texture for me so I'm using a velvet ribbon round my wrist to rub when I feel the urge to pull.

So there we go. Accountability and all that.

[Charlotte]

I actually do the eyebrow/eyelash pulling (is it the same thing). It hasn't come up in my therapy sessions yet, but I think it's time to move that onto the list of things to talk about....

Just letting you know that you aren't alone, I don't really have any advice.

[kt]

hi charlotte, yes eyelash/brow pulling is usually included. basically any hair.
thanks for speaking up, I think I'm looking for others and just putting it out there (I've never really spoken about it before) rather than requesting advice. good luck with the therapy.

[lauren_knows]

I don't deal with this personally, but out of curiosity I checked Reddit:

http://www.reddit.com/r/Trichsters

Good ole reddit... a subreddit for everything.

[lifejoy]

I know what you mean about having something totally unrelated to MMM but not wanting to go elsewhere because the people here are just so... awesome. :)

[pipercat]

I have it, but I pull from my legs (like the stubble from shaving). Of course, In the winter, my legs are generally covered, so I have an easier time (even tho I stll pull).  In the summer, people usually just think I have bug bites or a rash or something (I tend to pick at little ingrown hairs and sometimes irritate the skin).

As far as what helps me stop, the only thing that works consistently is keeping my nails super short.

[anastrophe]

Hey, why not. For people who give a lot of facepunches we are a strangely friendly bunch.

Some suggestions from experience:

1. "Out of sight out of mind" - for whatever reasons, I am less likely to give in if I can't see the temptation. If you have problem with head hair, keep it short. Ribbon's a good idea.

2. Fill up empty time. A little hard to explain, but I try to avoid zoning out in front of the computer, book, or whatever, because those are vulnerable points. I try to be mindful and engaged in my other activities.

3. Does your problem seem anxiety or OCD related, or more like a tic? If it's the first one, getting a handle on your general anxiety might help.

And a side note:

I got married recently and 99% of the the things I thought I'd care about, visually, are not at all apparent in photos, nor did anyone notice. Easier said than done but try not to get worked up over the wedding details.

[amyable]

I have OCD--I've been through cognitive-behavioral therapy and exposure response prevention with a psychologist in the past and both really work for me.  While I'm not seeing anyone right now, I still use both on a near daily basis. 

I'm oddly super excited to see another MMM poster who struggles with some form of compulsive behavior--not that I'm happy you're struggling, but it's just not something I hear discussed very often.  You might start by thinking about the situations that trigger the pulling (anxiety, boredom, etc.) and find replacement behaviors (the ribbon sounds good).

I find most mental health forums are about 40% people trying to get a diagnosis from an untrained and anonymous person online, 50% people wallowing in their own misery, and 10% people who actually want to get better, so yeah...I get posting this on MMM. 

MMM also directed me to Stoicism which is oddly incredibly helpful for OCD.  :-)

[pipercat]

I'm also happy you started this thread!  I have actually never admitted that I have trich to anyone, so it does feel nice to have a conversation about it. 

For me, I am not OCD, but it is simply a matter of having idle hands.  So, like the OP suggested, always keeping my hands busy is the best solution for me (that and the short nails thing).  I pull almost exclusively when watching tv, reading, or looking at my ipad.  I sometimes pull when I drive as well.  So, having something else to do with that extra hand is really helpful.  Maybe I'll dig out one of my kids Koosh balls and use it as a "fidget toy" during those times.

Even tho I don't have OCD, would there be a reason for me to seek therapy?  I've thought about it in the past, but I wondered what they would have me do that is different that what I currently do for myself.

[amyable]

Even tho I don't have OCD, would there be a reason for me to seek therapy?  I've thought about it in the past, but I wondered what they would have me do that is different that what I currently do for myself.

Probably depends on the severity--my guess is that in therapy, they'll basically have you figure out when you're pulling (which you already know--you pull when your hands are idle) and help you find other behaviors (which you seem to be doing).  Here's a site that seems to have some decent info:  http://www.trich.org/treatment/options.html. 

I'd say the reason to seek therapy is always your own level of discomfort.  I've had OCD to some extent since I was 11 or 12,  but it wasn't unreasonably uncomfortable or intrusive until my mid-twenties when I sought therapy. 

I hear you on not telling anyone--I prefer people not to know. 

[Wanderer]

I used to have trouble with this, still do occasionally.  When I was a kid I used to pull my eyelashes out, and did so much that they grew back sparse for years.  It probably took about a decade for them to grow in fully after I quit pulling them.  I would also pull out the hair on my head.  For me I think it's an anxiety/OCD-ish thing, and is associated with difference in texture and length. 

I think I stopped pulling my eyelashes as a kid because it was so noticeable.  I had a harder time stopping pulling my hair, because it was easy to hide.  Several things helped.  If I kept it shorter (off my shoulders) when I would run my fingers through it I wouldn't feel differences in length so easily.  Putting it up also helped because I couldn't fiddle with it.  I also started telling myself strictly "Every hair is good" when I found a hair I wanted to pull out, because I would tend to pull out hairs that didn't match the others.  8D  It was also helpful to find other things to do with my hands besides mess with my hair.  I found shuffling cards while reading helped, probably something like a stress ball would help too, and I guess you have a ribbon that you touch instead. 

It's a habit that you can break, though it does take a while.  If you have other anxiety or depression problems it might warrant therapy just to help your overall well-being. 

[kt]

thanks for all the replies, wishing you all well. obviously it would be better if no one struggled, but it's good to know there are others out there.
:)

[Shor]

This was never a problem for me until I started working at a job where thought-provoking problems forced me to stop and think. And while I think, I'll pull my hair, pull at stubble, scratch at scabs, make scabs, itch and scratch all over my face and neck. I never realized it a problem until my boss pointed out that it makes other people uncomfortable when I look so anxious..

So, having something else to do with that extra hand is really helpful. 

I never realized it before, but keeping my hands busy doing anything definitely helps control this compulsion.
Nowadays I usually notice when I'm doing it and stop.
But when I don't notice, I don't stop until I have to wipe all the hair off my desk... Eww....

[Random Hangers]

I used to have trouble with this, still do occasionally.  When I was a kid I used to pull my eyelashes out, and did so much that they grew back sparse for years.  It probably took about a decade for them to grow in fully after I quit pulling them.

It's great to know that lashes grow back eventually. Now I just have to find a way to stop. *sighs*

I was able to slow my brow pulling down to almost a halt once I got old enough to start shaping them (it was still pulling, but more for a purpose?), but I just automatically pull out both top and bottom lashes when I'm anxious or, like others have said, I have some downtime. I'm down to roughly 4 lower lashes per eye. No one has ever said anything to me about it, but it irritates me on some level that I don't have the self-control to stop...

Great topic. Definitely not one I expected to find in the forums, but it's nice to talk about it in a non-judgmental environment. (When I first told my husband, back when we were dating, he thought I was joking and replied, "Oh, so you're a freak!" When I burst into tears, he caught on that I was being serious and felt REALLY bad.)

[Wanderer]

It's tough!  I think I was able to stop pulling my eyelashes because I would also pull my hair, so I just did that instead.  *facepalm*  Obviously this isn't an ideal strategy. 

Have you been able to find the things that trigger this?  Is it anxiety, or when you're busy with a task like reading, or if your eyes are itching?  I sometimes still feel like pulling my eyelashes if I get really tired and my eyes start to itch, then I tell myself strictly not to touch my eyes and to go to bed!  Substitution of some activity to keep your hands busy might help.  I know I've read that some people have success with putting a rubber band on their wrist and snapping it whenever they try to pull, though I never tried this personally (I prefer not to use negative reinforcement on myself!)  Maybe you could go hipster and wear non-corrective glasses when you're at home, to make a barrier to pulling? 

I know, it's upsetting.  I cried when I told my husband too, and he didn't even really say anything!