Body hair and bikinis...

[jasminegeekface]

This question is mostly aimed at other women here, but obviously I'll happily accept helpful input from anyone. It's slightly embarrassing for me to bring this up at all, so I'll also appreciate everyone trying to be nice.

I'm a woman who is generally on the hairier side. I'm not bordering on hirsutism by any means, but I'm of South Asian heritage and we tend to be a little fuzzier than most. To clarify, I don't mean just the obvious culprits like legs/pits/pubes, but dark hair on the stomach, lower back, arms, etc. For the most part I've outgrown my issues with this because I can just shave my legs, the arm hair isn't too noticeable unless you're relatively up close, and the only person who really sees the rest of it is my boyfriend, who either doesn't care or is nice enough not to mention it.

My problem is that every time the occasion arises for me to wear a bathing suit, I avoid bikinis even though I really want to wear them, and opt for one-pieces or tank style two pieces instead. I'm very self conscious about the hair and it really annoys me that I feel this way. Does anyone else here have this problem? And whether or not you do, what do you think I should do? I'm torn between trying to force the fear out of myself by just sucking it up and wearing a bikini, or just doing what I've been doing and not potentially embarrassing myself. Would other people even notice, or am I overthinking this?

[iamlittlehedgehog]

I'm white but fat and furry. Genetics plus some hormonal issues have not been kind to me. From the sounds of it you have 3 options.
1 - look into removal (laser, waxing, ext.)
2- keep wearing tankinis. There are some really cute ones out there now. Also high rise bikini bottoms appear to be in and can let you wear a covering bikini with out taking the tank top route
3 - Say fuck it and rock it like a movie star

Most people won't pay attention, I think we drastically over estimate how often people notice each other as a whole. If they do choose to stare and make a comment politely inform them your body is not open for discussion.

[okits]

It would seem the easiest solution would be hair removal, if only so you won't feel self conscious or embarrassed. If you didn't feel those things I say go forth as nature made you (or however you are comfortable doing.) Yes, people may notice, but it only matters if you care.  I am sometimes self conscious or embarrassed by my acne, obesity, scars, and other imperfections, but I have important things to do and fun to have, so I'll shelf my anxiety and go do those things, rather than hide (which, when younger, I had a tendency to do.)

[brooklynmoney]

I am of Italian heritage. I Nair my tummy and arms. The stuff is much improved over what it used to be and is cheap and takes literally 2 minutes to work.

[neophyte]

Bleaching the hair might be another option.  I'm not sure how it works.  I think there is also a cream that is supposed to make hair grow in finer and lighter over time, but it might be a perscription thing. You could ask a dermatologist. If it's perscription, hair removal might end up costing about the same.

I tried laser at one point and it failed miserably, but the hair I was trying to get rid of was almost white-blond.

[Villanelle]

I have a coworker who bought a Tria laser for hair removal.  She is three sessions in and thrilled with it.  It's spendy (~$500), but in theory, permanent.  It only zaps a small area at a time so she says it wouldn't be good for legs as it would take way too long to repeatedly treat the whole leg.  But for bikini, a stomach trail, an area on your lower back (though you'd need a friend to do that) pits, etc., she says it is perfect.  You treat the area every 2 weeks, and I think she said the instructions told her to expect to need 6-10 treatments.  (The lighter the skin and the darker the hair, the more effective it is.)  Even a few treatments thin the hair noticeably (she said she could see a difference after 2 treatments) so you could perhaps do larger areas, like your arms, at least a couple times in order to thin the hair, even if it was time consuming.  You don't really need your arms to be totally hairless anyway. 

You could even consider buying one with a friend and splitting the cost of the machine, since you'd each only need it for an hour or so every couple of weeks so it would be easy to split. 

As for whether people will notice, I suppose that depends on just how hairy you are, but the reality is that yes, some might.  It's okay to care about that, but it is also okay not to. 

[cerebus]

the only person who really sees the rest of it is my boyfriend, who either doesn't care or is nice enough not to mention it.

He doesn't care. He might even like it. You should ask him.

Would other people even notice, or am I overthinking this?

You're overthinking it. People notice trim/fat. They'll notice a ton of hair. They won't notice some navel and arm hair.

[Sibley]

If you want to wear a bikini, then go for it. Personally, I don't like them and prefer one pieces or tankinis. Hold your head high and don't give a damn what others think.

[RyanAtTanagra]

Wear a big fake wart on your cheek.  No one will notice anything else.

But seriously, no one's going to care.  I understand the concern though, I've been underweight (male) my whole life and used to live on a lake.  I was always self conscious in swim trunks at the beginning of summer, but after a while forgot about it.  Just put on the bikini.

[G-dog]

I have a coworker who bought a Tria laser for hair removal.  She is three sessions in and thrilled with it.  It's spendy (~$500), but in theory, permanent.  It only zaps a small area at a time so she says it wouldn't be good for legs as it would take way too long to repeatedly treat the whole leg.  But for bikini, a stomach treasure trail, an area on your lower back (though you'd need a friend to do that) pits, etc., she says it is perfect.

Fixed to for you

[jasminegeekface]

Thank you all for your help and encouragement! I bought two bikinis yesterday and I've decided to just wear them and try not to worry about other people. If it really makes me uncomfortable even after a couple of times, I'll look into some of the suggestions made here for removal, but hopefully I'll just get used to it and not care :). Again, thanks for all the input, I feel a lot less weird about this now.

[G-dog]

Thank you all for your help and encouragement! I bought two bikinis yesterday and I've decided to just wear them and try not to worry about other people. If it really makes me uncomfortable even after a couple of times, I'll look into some of the suggestions made here for removal, but hopefully I'll just get used to it and not care :). Again, thanks for all the input, I feel a lot less weird about this now.

If you are uncomfortable bring a tank top or other cover-up and party on. Good for you for at least giving it a try and pushing out of your comfort zone!

[oldladystache]

When you get really old you begin to realize that so many things you worried about were amazingly unimportant.

It's so freeing to not have to worry about what other people might think. I wish I'd figured this out long ago.

[G-dog]

When you get really old you begin to realize that so many things you worried about were amazingly unimportant.

It's so freeing to not have to worry about what other people might think. I wish I'd figured this out long ago.

So true - those times you held back afraid what others might think - wasted opportunities to be free!

[A mom]

When you get really old you begin to realize that so many things you worried about were amazingly unimportant.

It's so freeing to not have to worry about what other people might think. I wish I'd figured this out long ago.

So true - those times you held back afraid what others might think - wasted opportunities to be free!

Yup!

[Goldielocks]

My guess is that it is as nearly unremarkable as your arm hair (especially if you are similar to my E.Indian friends).   Wear the bikini proudly.  leave the hair alone.   ingrown hairs are more noticeable, anyway.

Another "tactic" is to just wear the bikini as is, but buy a sheer coverup to slip overtop when you want to walk around.  No one will be close to you / staring when you are active and swimming, but I know I feel more embarassed if I was to get a beverage and stand near someone to just chat.

[Kitsune]

Whatever you do, don't shave arm hair... most people don't notice it, but stubble on your arms when giving someone a hug is pretty noticable. :)

I'm white, but have dark-ish body hair (yay hormones...)

Personally: I electrolysis-ed the hair that I absolutely couldn't deal with (neck hair. W.T.F. Not ok.) Worth every penny, but it was a lot of pennies. I shave my legs and underarms when I feel like wearing skirts in summer, or I wax every few weeks in winter, since it lasts a few weeks and I hate it less than shaving.

I asked my husband if he cared about leg hair at one point a few years ago. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said (and I quote) "I don't shave my beard. I have boobs in my face. Why the f*ck would I care?"

Personally, I think that a tresure trail looks pet-able if it's noticable at all, and that's kinda nice. Depends on personal opinion, I guess... but I'd leave it alone, unless you personally can't stand it.

[Nancy]

When you get really old you begin to realize that so many things you worried about were amazingly unimportant.

It's so freeing to not have to worry about what other people might think. I wish I'd figured this out long ago.

So true - those times you held back afraid what others might think - wasted opportunities to be free!

Absolutely! The best part is that you don't need to wait until you get older.

OP, If bikinis make you happy, wear 'em with pride exactly as you are. You totally rock!

[MMMaybe]

I think if something makes you feel uncomfortable, fix it. This may not be the most frugal view of course but life is too long to feel bad about yourself.

If you can accept it, great. If not, there is no shame in doing something about it.

[Drifterrider]

This question is mostly aimed at other women here, but obviously I'll happily accept helpful input from anyone. It's slightly embarrassing for me to bring this up at all, so I'll also appreciate everyone trying to be nice.

I'm a woman who is generally on the hairier side. I'm not bordering on hirsutism by any means, but I'm of South Asian heritage and we tend to be a little fuzzier than most. To clarify, I don't mean just the obvious culprits like legs/pits/pubes, but dark hair on the stomach, lower back, arms, etc. For the most part I've outgrown my issues with this because I can just shave my legs, the arm hair isn't too noticeable unless you're relatively up close, and the only person who really sees the rest of it is my boyfriend, who either doesn't care or is nice enough not to mention it.

My problem is that every time the occasion arises for me to wear a bathing suit, I avoid bikinis even though I really want to wear them, and opt for one-pieces or tank style two pieces instead. I'm very self conscious about the hair and it really annoys me that I feel this way. Does anyone else here have this problem? And whether or not you do, what do you think I should do? I'm torn between trying to force the fear out of myself by just sucking it up and wearing a bikini, or just doing what I've been doing and not potentially embarrassing myself. Would other people even notice, or am I overthinking this?

From one man's perspective.  Most women look better in a once piece.  Buy the cut to fit your body (big hips, high cut leg openings focus the eyes not on the big hips.  etc).

However, it really boils down to what makes YOU comfortable not what makes others comfortable.

[Zikoris]

I'm not particularly hairy, but I'm pretty lazy, so I had laser hair removal done about five years ago on my legs and underarms. It was pricey, hurt like hell, and made people think I was diseased for a few days after each treatment (legs covered in red bumps, faded soon though), but now that it's done I'm supposedly set for life. I'd highly recommend it.

I guess there are two schools of thought - "Learn to love it!" and "If you don't like it, fix it!". I'm in group 2.