Author Topic: Benefits of having a family very late in life  (Read 3449 times)

Roadrunner53

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Benefits of having a family very late in life
« on: January 12, 2018, 05:44:21 AM »
I think this works out best if the man is older and the woman is younger. Man can collect Social Security at age 62 and his kids and younger spouse can collect Social security too! See this article: https://www.kitces.com/blog/why-social-security-dependent-benefits-for-a-child-can-make-it-a-good-deal-to-start-early-and-not-delay/

Sibley

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Re: Benefits of having a family very late in life
« Reply #1 on: January 15, 2018, 12:32:16 PM »
Yeah, except for the part where you're significantly more likely to have your father die while you're a minor. Money isn't everything.

hdatontodo

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Re: Benefits of having a family very late in life
« Reply #2 on: January 15, 2018, 12:41:39 PM »
My dad had me when he was 47. He lived to 91, when I was 45. My mom was much younger and will be 91 this month, when I'm 57. My dad did get the kid soc sec benefit at 62.

I had my son when I was 47. Having that soc sec child benefit will sway my decision to get soc sec at 62.

It bites from a dating perspective to be 57 with a kid since the women in their 50's have kids getting out of college now and don't want to date someone with a 10 y/o.

MayDay

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Re: Benefits of having a family very late in life
« Reply #3 on: January 15, 2018, 01:31:27 PM »
My dad had me when he was 47. He lived to 91, when I was 45. My mom was much younger and will be 91 this month, when I'm 57. My dad did get the kid soc sec benefit at 62.

I had my son when I was 47. Having that soc sec child benefit will sway my decision to get soc sec at 62.

It bites from a dating perspective to be 57 with a kid since the women in their 50's have kids getting out of college now and don't want to date someone with a 10 y/o.

I had kids younger and no wayyyyyyy would I date someone with a little kid once mine are grown. Kill me now.

Hopefully that is the primary consideration when planning a family though :)
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marty998

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Re: Benefits of having a family very late in life
« Reply #4 on: January 16, 2018, 02:30:37 AM »
I think this works out best if the man is older and the woman is younger. Man can collect Social Security at age 62 and his kids and younger spouse can collect Social security too! See this article: https://www.kitces.com/blog/why-social-security-dependent-benefits-for-a-child-can-make-it-a-good-deal-to-start-early-and-not-delay/

I think it only works that way. Not many women past menopausal age are going to be able to have children without significant scientific intervention...

Roadrunner53

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Re: Benefits of having a family very late in life
« Reply #5 on: January 16, 2018, 04:29:49 AM »
Maybe adoption and I think grandchildren too if the grandparents have legal custody.

Khaetra

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Re: Benefits of having a family very late in life
« Reply #6 on: January 16, 2018, 04:54:09 AM »
My parents had me when they were 45-46 (I was not planned).  They wanted to retire and move to a +55 community but couldn't because of me (I was told, often).  I made the decision early in life that I would not have kids past 30 and made sure once I hit that age I took the steps so it wouldn't happen. 

I won't date a man with young kids.

benivur

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Re: Benefits of having a family very late in life
« Reply #7 on: January 19, 2018, 08:45:53 AM »
age is insignificant if two people really love each other.

PhilB

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Re: Benefits of having a family very late in life
« Reply #8 on: January 20, 2018, 11:05:22 AM »
age is insignificant if two people really love each other.
As the priest said to the altar boy...

scantee

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Re: Benefits of having a family very late in life
« Reply #9 on: January 20, 2018, 11:47:37 AM »
This is advice that is helpful to those who happen to find themselves in this situation, but it’s not a strategy one should plan for. That is, I would never recommend to someone to delay having children so they could capitalize on these benefits.

Contrary to what Kitces says I don’t think there is growth in the number of second families where the father is approaching traditional retirement age. I believe the number children born into these relationships is actually shrinking. What is growing is the number of grandparents who gain custody of their grandkids. This has become a huge issue in certain parts of the country due to the opioid epidemic. These are people who probably never planned to care for or financially support young children late in life, they certainly didn’t sign up for it, and for them these benefits are probably make a huge difference in the quality of their and their grandkids’ lives.

MayDay

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Re: Benefits of having a family very late in life
« Reply #10 on: January 20, 2018, 01:50:17 PM »
Very true scantee. It is playing put a bit with my in laws- my SIL relies on MIL for all childcare. It exhausts MIL and she is bitter about it so she doesn't do a great job (I don't blame her at all). She has neither the energy nos the desire.

My parents took my kids for a month last summer and we're similarly exhausted. They wanted to do it but we're thrilled to be done after a month. They were 59 and 57.

I don't think having kids late is bad if you want to, but there is a reason fertility ends somewhere around age 40.
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Apple_Tango

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Re: Benefits of having a family very late in life
« Reply #11 on: January 20, 2018, 02:13:32 PM »
Another perspective on this is that it doesn’t have to be your biological children. It isn’t uncommon for a grandparent to legally adopt a grandkid, due to death or trauma/addiction downline in the family tree.

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iris lily

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Re: Benefits of having a family very late in life
« Reply #12 on: January 20, 2018, 03:30:12 PM »
age is insignificant if two people really love each other.
As the priest said to the altar boy...
oh my. snort!

Roadrunner53

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Re: Benefits of having a family very late in life
« Reply #13 on: January 20, 2018, 03:36:16 PM »
Just think a kid could get on SS at age 1 till age 18 then get on SS at age 62 and collect 30 or more years. This person could collect 48 years worth of SS in his lifetime. Then let us not forget if the person gets disabled that person could collect that for many years too. Maybe a whole lifetime.

Cassie

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Re: Benefits of having a family very late in life
« Reply #14 on: January 20, 2018, 03:47:53 PM »
Mayday, your MIL should just say  no to providing childcare. This is her time to enjoy life. I am 63 and there is no way I would do this. Raising kids once was enough:))

Better Late

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Re: Benefits of having a family very late in life
« Reply #15 on: January 20, 2018, 03:54:37 PM »
yeah. My dad totally missed this benefit; he realized it after my brother was in college. He turned 62 with a 13-year old son.

Yankuba

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Re: Benefits of having a family very late in life
« Reply #16 on: January 20, 2018, 04:00:27 PM »
My wife says “if you know you want kids then the sooner the better.” The children will get to enjoy many years with the grandparents and even more years with the parents. The parents will have more energy when they are younger and it is significantly easier to conceive and have a healthy baby when the parents are young. Women are “designed” to be moms in their teens - waiting to 35 or 40 or 45 can lead to a lot of medical issues. And no kid wants their father to be the old guy at school events, activities, etc.


calimom

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Re: Benefits of having a family very late in life
« Reply #17 on: January 20, 2018, 05:34:18 PM »
Just think a kid could get on SS at age 1 till age 18 then get on SS at age 62 and collect 30 or more years. This person could collect 48 years worth of SS in his lifetime. Then let us not forget if the person gets disabled that person could collect that for many years too. Maybe a whole lifetime.

My youngest daughter will have received 17 years of SSA survivors'  benefits by the time she graduates high school, due to my husband's early death. The older two have have or will receive 4 years and 13 years of not-insignificant awards, quite honestly far more than my youngish relatively well earning husband ever contributed to the system. And while I am wildly grateful for this program, the "family max" allows for either 150% or 180% of the expected award.  I'm not sure that this is the best family planning for the soon to be retired, though it's good to hear of deserving grandparents getting additional help for raising grandchildren. It's hard to picture deliberately delaying having children in order to get more $$ each month.

I don't think social security is going to face any massive changes soon, but it's likely that the program will look different when today's children are facing retirement.

partgypsy

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Re: Benefits of having a family very late in life
« Reply #18 on: January 20, 2018, 06:02:39 PM »
It's not just maternal age. Advanced paternal age (and age 45 is considered advanced) is associated with higher academic difficulties and psychiatric problems. Men shouldn't have kids late in life, even if they physically can conceive.
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/02/140226165303.htm
« Last Edit: January 22, 2018, 07:02:47 AM by partgypsy »

wordnerd

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Re: Benefits of having a family very late in life
« Reply #19 on: January 20, 2018, 06:03:58 PM »
My dad took this when I was kid. When I turned 18, they sent a letter asking him to return any money that he hadn't spent. Of course, it was intermingled with the rest of the family funds, so he just said it had been spent on my college expenses. I wonder how many people return any money...
« Last Edit: January 20, 2018, 06:38:04 PM by wordnerd »

Roadrunner53

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Re: Benefits of having a family very late in life
« Reply #20 on: January 21, 2018, 06:55:56 AM »
Why would they ask for money back if you were 18 years old? If they are due the money they will just yank it out of your checking account where they deposit the check. It happened to my Mom when Dad died. They yanked his last check and did not warn her in advance. Lucky she didn't bounce any checks.

wordnerd

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Re: Benefits of having a family very late in life
« Reply #21 on: January 21, 2018, 07:04:11 AM »
Why would they ask for money back if you were 18 years old? If they are due the money they will just yank it out of your checking account where they deposit the check. It happened to my Mom when Dad died. They yanked his last check and did not warn her in advance. Lucky she didn't bounce any checks.

They weren't asking for money given to me erroneously after the age of 18. They were asking for money that had been given correctly prior to the age of 18, but had not yet been spent.

Roadrunner53

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Re: Benefits of having a family very late in life
« Reply #22 on: January 21, 2018, 07:11:41 AM »
That is very strange. I can't imagine why they would do that. Voluntarily give the money back? UGH, NO!

Roadrunner53

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Re: Benefits of having a family very late in life
« Reply #23 on: January 21, 2018, 07:19:29 AM »
Okay, this is what I think happened to you at age 18. I found this on line:
When a person receives benefits as the representative payee (check comes in your name for child), any saved money must be returned if the representative payee changes. If the child is a full-time student and will receive benefits beyond age 18 the check is no longer sent in the parent's name. Therefore the representative payee changes from the parent to the child. Any saved money should be returned and reissued to the child. Most people ignore it which is OK as long as the child does receive benefit of the money saved.

meghan88

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Re: Benefits of having a family very late in life
« Reply #24 on: February 24, 2018, 12:12:21 PM »
Ladies are "composed" to be mothers in their youngsters - holding up to 35 or 40 or 45 can prompt a great deal of restorative issues. Also, no child needs their dad to be the old person at school occasions, exercises, and so on.

It's not simply maternal age. Progressed fatherly age is related with higher scholastic challenges and mental issues. Men shouldn't have children late throughout everyday life, regardless of whether they physically can consider.

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meghan88

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Re: Benefits of having a family very late in life
« Reply #25 on: February 24, 2018, 12:14:58 PM »
I emphatically concur with you and we have a few cases in which man are more established than his better half and they all are taking government managed savings. It is extremely useful for individuals.

more spam.

nereo

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Re: Benefits of having a family very late in life
« Reply #26 on: February 24, 2018, 12:22:37 PM »
FWIW, I am the youngest child in my family - parents were collecting SS while I was entering graduate school.

It's been hard on me to have older parents - I feel like I have gotten less time with them than my siblings, and have far more ailments. Now I'm in my 30s and there's already 'end-of-life' care scenarios being floated about.
If love happens when your partner is older, so be it... but it can have consequences beyond the parents to have children later in life.
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nereo

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Re: Benefits of having a family very late in life
« Reply #27 on: February 24, 2018, 12:28:09 PM »
I emphatically concur with you and we have a few cases in which man are more established than his better half and they all are taking government managed savings. It is extremely useful for individuals.

more spam.
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Roadrunner53

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Re: Benefits of having a family very late in life
« Reply #28 on: February 24, 2018, 12:31:24 PM »
Yes, having a children late in life has many consequences. My Father was 29 and Mom was 19 when I was born and Dad thought he was old at the time. Could be why I am an only child. Maybe he thought another kid would have made him like a grandpa! Now a days, people are having kids in their late 40's and older for the men. It does seem sad for the kid to have a man that is like a grandpa rather than a dad. I personally don't see it but to each his own.

Another consequence in my case is that my Dad decided to move away from his relatives and Mom's relatives. We made trips once a year to visit but now that I am an adult, I have lost all contact with my cousins. I actually have one cousin that I communicate with now and then but that is it on both sides of the family. I find it kind of depressing to feel as if I have no one other than my Hub in my life since I don't have children either. I know there are a lot of cousins out there but no idea where they are!

matchewed

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Re: Benefits of having a family very late in life
« Reply #29 on: February 24, 2018, 01:31:20 PM »
Is 29 late in life though?

Roadrunner53

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Re: Benefits of having a family very late in life
« Reply #30 on: February 24, 2018, 01:36:39 PM »
Back in 1953 maybe 29 was considered old. Life expectancy was less back then.

RetiredAt63

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Re: Benefits of having a family very late in life
« Reply #31 on: February 24, 2018, 02:52:41 PM »
First children didn't usually come when parents were older, but when people had lots of children women (and of course therefore men) were having children well into their 40's.  When there was no reliable birth control, basically menopause was the cutoff point.  So those later in life babies had older parents. 

Growing up in the 50's I had lots of friends who were the "second batch" or "oops" baby in the family, just because of this.  You are looking at a very short period of time in history, when people can generally control how many babies they have and when.  The old method of birth control was marry later in life (i.e. 30's, not teens or twenties).  And people still "had" to get married, because pre-marital sex still happened.
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Roadrunner53

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Re: Benefits of having a family very late in life
« Reply #32 on: February 24, 2018, 03:00:31 PM »
I have a friend who was an Oops baby! LOL! His brother was 18 when he was born. I also have a cousin who was an Oops. Her sister had to be 17-18 when she was born. They don't really have anything in common except having the same parents.

nereo

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Re: Benefits of having a family very late in life
« Reply #33 on: February 24, 2018, 03:29:59 PM »
I have a friend who was an Oops baby! LOL! His brother was 18 when he was born. I also have a cousin who was an Oops. Her sister had to be 17-18 when she was born. They don't really have anything in common except having the same parents.

Close friend of mine could be considered an "oops" - 24 years between him and his sister.  He actually had a nephew who was a year older than he was, and the two would play together (with his older sister serving at the parental figure for both during play dates).
His mom passed away a few years ago... he basically had one half the amount of time with his parents as his other siblings had.
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meghan88

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Re: Benefits of having a family very late in life
« Reply #34 on: February 25, 2018, 09:00:51 AM »
FWIW, I am the youngest child in my family - parents were collecting SS while I was entering graduate school.

It's been hard on me to have older parents - I feel like I have gotten less time with them than my siblings, and have far more ailments. Now I'm in my 30s and there's already 'end-of-life' care scenarios being floated about.
If love happens when your partner is older, so be it... but it can have consequences beyond the parents to have children later in life.

Ditto.  My parents were in their 40's when I arrived.  Not something that I would wish on anybody.