Do you not trust your own intuition? Or do you accept every request/demand of your resources?
Thank you for the advice. I think it's mostly the former, as I have actually been pretty good about setting boundaries with my time. I work mostly with people who are much older than me and have many more years of experience. That makes it easy to question my own intuition when they disagree with me. In many cases they are right, so it makes it difficult to recognize when they're wrong until it's too late, and then I'm disappointed that I didn't stand up for myself. I think I rely too much on being told what to do, sometimes to the detriment of our projects.
I am the only person with my particular skill set at the office, so I am better at sticking up for myself when it comes to the details of my work. But it still really stresses me out to deal with criticism when I believe I'm right (anticipation of this stress may be why I avoid asserting myself in situations where I should). I want to get better at setting aside defensiveness and fear of offending.
I don't know about the OP, but I find myself much better through email than in person. In person/on the phone I shirk and give in, while through email I stand up for myself better. But I think the other part of it is that I see my failures better than I see my successes, and I tend to dwell on them mentally, undermining my confidence.
So much this. I am much more assertive through email, and that tends to be how I communicate with coworkers when I
do stand up for myself in response to disagreement. I just wish I could figure out a way to dwell on these less. It can take me an anxious hour to write a very short email when I disagree with someone because I agonize over making sure it's polite and tactful. I'd like to be able to work through my feelings more quickly so I can calm down and get back to work sooner.
So I guess I have two goals: 1) Getting better at trusting my own intuition, and 2) getting a better handle on my emotions when I assert myself in response to criticism.