The whole pro-lifer thing is almost entirely an emotional thing. There is an emotional gut-reaction to someone terminating a pregnancy that they don't feel/experience when an embryo that only existed in a petri dish is destroyed, though objectively they are the same thing. My only quibble with you on this is that for most pro-lifers I know, it's about the life they feel was murdered, not about controlling women.
(From ncornilsen, but I'm too lazy to quote the whole thing)
This is actually bullshit. They may not SAY that it's about controlling women, but it absolutely is. If they don't believe that, they're lying to you and probably to themselves. What else is it to force someone to be pregnant and give birth when they choose not to? And to have that threat hanging over them for their entire adult life? "Oh, by the way, if you get raped, you'll have to spend 9 months being pregnant and then give birth?" Not to mention the whole underlying theme of "you're not actually a full citizen with the entire suite of rights and responsibilities, including the right to make your own decisions about your own health care."
And that's without going into the whole "lack of comprehensive sex education" part that seems to be part and parcel of the evangelical/conservative states package.
There is no possible way to deny another human being the right to make decisions about her own health care and not have it be about controlling women. If I inform you that you can't make decisions about how your doctor will treat anything in your urinary system without my permission, or without governmental interference in any treatment that involves your kidneys on down, you'd find that to be absurd.
There are a billion reasons why a woman might decide to get an abortion: some of them might be "good" or "legitimate" in your estimation, and some might not, but it's absolutely none of your business what someone else decides to do with her body. As the saying goes, if you don't like abortions, don't have one.